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Hey guys-- I never thought I'd end up in such an strange position, but here I am.
I'm asking this to all of you. If anything at all comes to mind during your reading of this thread, please post your thoughts.
I'm a junior at University. My campus is kind of small, and kind of in the middle of nowhere.
So the story goes:
The other day, after I got off work, I thought I'd head down to our campus coffee shop. My ex was rocking the cashier, so I chatted it up with her while I ordered and waited for my coffee. The barista who made my coffee caught my eye. She totally looked like a girl I'd really like to talk to. You guys know-- when you see a girl and your mind is just telling you, "SHE'S YOUR TYPE."
We made eye contact a bunch of times, but I didn't say anything to her except "Thanks!" once she handed me my drink.
I went home, asked my ex on IM what the burista's name was, and checked her out on Facebook.
I clicked her info, and WHAT?! GRADUATED?!
I assume she's on campus for research or something, and I don't really know much about her at all. However, another one of my friends who works at the coffee place (not my ex) told me the girl-in-question's schedule, in case I ever wanted to stop by.
Some background:
I've dated a lot of girls in the past, but I've always met them through more sociable situations-- in class, through friends, at parties, etc. I have absolutely no idea how to start up a conversation with her.
It's a long shot, and it may not appear hard to just forget about the whole thing, and pretend I never saw her, but I don't see girls like her everyday. (When I say "girls like her," I mean girls that I think would be really cool to meet.) I'd really like to meet her.
I'm not an introverted kind of guy-- I can definitely keep conversation, and we have a bunch of friends in common on Facebook. However, I'm not particularly close with any of the mutual friends we share, and I can't imagine asking any of them to help me out in this situation (I'd really rather not ask my ex).
The question:
How do I talk to her? Ask for her name (though I already know it)? Should I ask her out to coffee (probably not coffee, but something else?)? Should I ask for her number?
... Or should I just forget the whole thing, since the situation is a little awk-awk?
Simplified: How do you guys think I should handle this situation?
And so now, I ask you, TL.net, for your advice, guidance, input, and infinite wisdom. Thanks!
Also-- before anyone asks, no pics. Everyone deserves their privacy. Sorry guys.
edit: Haha. I am not a stalking her-- I go to the same university as she does. we're both part of the "________ University Network." She allows people of the network to view her profile. I was curious as to what year she was, and didn't want to ask my ex too much about her. i think stalking has some pretty negative connotations, and by no means am I stalking this girl. she's just a girl who works at the campus coffee shop. I haven't gone to any lengths to find out any more about her from my ex or my friend who both work with her, and I didn't mean any harm by looking up her profile. I don't see how my curiosity can be taken from such a negative viewpoint.
 
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Everyone deserves their privacy - that's why you asked your ex what the girl's name was then stalked her on FB then got people to give you her schedule eh?
I propose that you talk to her. It sounds crazy but it just might work
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+ Show Spoiler +Start hitting on your ex again at the coffee shop to make the other girl jealous.
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Snet
United States3573 Posts
Ask her if she went to that school, what she studied, what she does now, etc, you can start the convo that way. One thing to remember is she works at a university campus coffee shop so she prolly gets talked to alot by college guys, so don't be annoying about it.
Make an attempt and move on. However, judging from how much you've already stalked her after only eye contact I doubt you're the "moving on" type.
o.o
On November 09 2009 07:34 quiong wrote:+ Show Spoiler +Start hitting on your ex again at the coffee shop to make the other girl jealous.
Why the fuck would you spoiler that?
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Talk with her, be playful, tease her, don't be the same as every other guy who tries to start boring conversations while she's at work. Repeat every now and then. Always leave her wanting more, so that when she's working she might think "when is that cute boy going to stop in again". then get her number
IMO
(edit: playful teasing as in "you again! are you following me here or something?" when you see her, idk just be fun and enjoyable to talk to)
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I didn't read any of it, but I am going to make a post anyway. Just fucking man up and say something to her, anything. Why does everyone have to make this girl shit 100x harder then it has to be. Start small and just say, "Hi".
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United States44410 Posts
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Say hi, ask a question, and have a interesting response to her answer. gogogo gl hf gg
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On November 09 2009 07:45 KwarK wrote:
In an irish accent.
lolz :D
Hmmm, GL flirting with your ex around...kind of weird asking your ex the name isn't it?
My advice: don't overthink. Go there, order a coffee and try to talk to her
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I would just go up and talk to her for a while. After you're comfortable, ask her to coffee. I wouldn't stalk her by using your ex/facebook.
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talking with words always works 
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I wonder how people get the idea of aking this kinda stuff on the internet. It's like asking how to use a condom in kindergarden.
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Say hi to the girl.
Probably no guy has dared to do that and she's waiting for one that will but is confused about why no one is approaching her.
I suck at theorycrafting lol
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United States44410 Posts
Go in wearing a hoodie of whatever she lists as her favourite bands are while discussing her favourite movies/shows with a token friend. Also if she's filled out any of those retarded quizes then stalk through them and find out info. Even horoscopes will do.
Also it's facebook. If you haven't got mutual friends you can make some. Add some random people off her friends list. Done.
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United States44410 Posts
Set fire to the building and save her from it.
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United States44410 Posts
Turn into a jet and fly into the sun.
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You ask TL about RL-stuff?
.... ok, glhf!
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On November 09 2009 08:04 KwarK wrote:
Set fire to the building and save her from it.
probably your best bet.
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Ménage à trois is the French term describing a domestic arrangement in which three people having sexual relations occupy the same household.
But seriously, next time you see her tell her you wanted to talk to her last time but kinda woosed out. And that you would really like to have her for lunch. Then quickly say, "I mean take you to lunch" and play all embarrassed like your nervous (and not a player). Then hit her with your smile.
Or you could just stay home and see who is on ICCUP.
Your choice...
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EPT
