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Where are the nerd girls

Blogs > Zandar
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Zandar
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Netherlands1541 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-09 11:54:57
April 09 2012 11:48 GMT
#1
I mean we are the nerd squad.
I always thought that if there's one group of males that would value personality, intelligence etc above physical beauty it would be the nerds.

Of course there are handsome male players and casters, but also a bit less and in the end, who cares how they look? Nobody.
I don't care if you're fat, ugly, awkward, because fellow nerds don't judge nerds about that, these traits don't matter.

But why do the girls on stage all have to be cute? Why do I get mostly "hot female gamers, sexy female gamers" links when I do a google search for "female gamers"
I have nothing against Seltzer, Smix, Anna etc. I really appreciate them for trying to make e-sports a less male only environment.
And besides that they are good at what they do too.

But why do only girls like them succeed? With above average looks. Why do they always have to dress hot?

Kpop is even worse. Those girls are all selected purely for looks. All the same hight and sizes. It doesn't even matter if they can sing, they can just moderate their voices.

It's the kind of sexism that doesn't belong with us nerds I think.
We were always ignored by the cheerleader type of alpha girl, but there were always other girls, maybe more shy, less popular, but for me, usually more interesting, because they were more like me. They exist for sure but where are they in this community?
Is it because they avoid the spotlight themself? Or is it because when they try to, they only get judged by their looks instead of who they are. Or because they get judged by their environment when they find out she plays games?

I think by always having non-nerd girls on stage we don't give our fellow nerd girls a real chance.
I'm pretty sure there are girls out there that don't have the pop star look but a lot of game knowledge. There are plenty of female gamer leagues, surely one of them has casting skills too. Why don't tournament organisers scout her instead of the beauty pageant? I'd love to hear an insightful female voice.

Scarlett is like the first girl who fits the profile a bit, even if she's cute, it seems she's a real fellow gamer nerd at heart. And it took her a while to make the step in the public, even with such great skills. I hope she'll be an example for many girls/women.
The amount of fans she got in a few days gives me hope!

And to you gamer nerd girl anywhere around the world, I love you and hope to see more of you.

***
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
beetlelisk
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Poland2276 Posts
April 09 2012 11:57 GMT
#2
Well searching "girls of starcraft" gives me 3 results one of them being
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=259063

Let's face it, girls would rather play Sims then a war game.
wwww
RedJustice
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States1004 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-09 12:24:56
April 09 2012 12:20 GMT
#3
Well, I am a woman, so let me tell you about my personal experience (which may or may not be what other 'nerd girls' have experienced as well).

I will sum it up like this: As a woman in the gaming community (and elsewhere too, but by very nature of the internetz it's more blatant here) you get harassed for your sex. It doesn't really matter if you are deemed attractive or plain, you are screwed either way.

When people on the internetz find you attractive, it's usually not positive. I myself have had multiple experiences of sexual harassment and cyber-stalking that got really disturbing. By sexual harassment, I don't mean a comment here or there either-- I mean guys who sent me nasty pictures, made new accounts whenever I blocked them to continue sending sexually explicit and degrading messages to me, etc. Those people were an exception, not a rule of course, but it's pretty impactful.

So let's now consider the general rule of treatment-- people who don't stalk and harass you like that. A lot of times these people are pretty friendly, but in the end I often have negative experiences with these guys too. They are really excited to see a girl they find somewhat attractive sharing an important interest with them, and decide they like you. This leads to well-meaning but often unwelcome advances. This doesn't sound so bad, except that one of the main draws of gaming for many people is the friendships and social component. It is often difficult for women to get this experience when people are more interested in gf than friend.

When people don't find you attractive though, it's equally depressing. People are ruthless on the internet. It's to be expected, but it doesn't make it right. The more you put yourself out there as a woman, the more critical people get of you. Women who enter into the public eye of the gaming community get a lot of harsh criticism, just like most public figures, but most of it has to do with their appearance. It doesn't matter that it's the internet and you don't know these people-- it still does psychological harm.

Beyond those things, there are a variety of reasons it's not fun to be a woman in this male-dominated community. I may talk to and play games with someone for quite a while before they find out I'm a woman. My experience has been that sometimes people who treated me well before immediately turn around and start treating me like shit as soon as they find out.

Lastly, the worst kind of treatment (and most common) I get from members of the community is people who don't believe me or other women when we talk about our negative experiences. I am often told by friends of mine as well as reading it over and over in discussions that the problem isn't real. This attitude is what allows the problem to continue. No one speaks out (often not even the women being harassed) to say that you shouldn't treat people like that.

I think there are more female gamers in the community than we see. I think a lot of them keep it mostly to themselves because of bad experiences or even just the general vibe of the community being hostile. A lot of time women who 'out' themselves are considered to be attention-whores (and tbh plenty of them are-- you know, the ones who are drop the words 'REAL LIVE FEMALE GAMER WITH TITS' every other line). In not wanting to be associated with that, maybe we make ourselves too invisible?

Anyway, I'm a 'nerd girl'. I'm not ugly, and I'm not Anna <3. Hi; nice to meet you sir!
NarutO
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
Germany18839 Posts
April 09 2012 12:29 GMT
#4
On April 09 2012 21:20 RedJustice wrote:

So let's now consider the general rule of treatment-- people who don't stalk and harass you like that. A lot of times these people are pretty friendly, but in the end I often have negative experiences with these guys too. They are really excited to see a girl they find somewhat attractive sharing an important interest with them, and decide they like you. This leads to well-meaning but often unwelcome advances. This doesn't sound so bad, except that one of the main draws of gaming for many people is the friendships and social component. It is often difficult for women to get this experience when people are more interested in gf than friend.



Now I feel stupid for replying to your blog stating I could play and help you out with your practice T_T.... ; Anyways what you state is really.... wow. I know some parts of the community tend to be douches towards women, but seriously its hard to believe what you explain..

well actually its not, but you get what I mean. I know quiet a few woman who play Starcraft, from Silver to Masters, from Zerg to Terran and all of them are fun to play / talk with, but thats partly because you can also have a good conversation with a nerd girl. Its not like their whole life is centered around gaming. Obviously there are also friends (nerds) who I can talk with, but some guys really can only talk about games... and since gaming is only part of my life, I don't enjoy that as much.
CommentatorPolt | MMA | Jjakji | BoxeR | NaDa | MVP | MKP ... truly inspiring.
beetlelisk
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Poland2276 Posts
April 09 2012 12:32 GMT
#5
RedJustice I hope insecure kids don't make you too much harm. It's not manly for Christ sake. Be assured treatment you wrote about is not tolerated on TL and dealt with severly by moderation
wwww
Zandar
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Netherlands1541 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-09 12:32:50
April 09 2012 12:32 GMT
#6
Hey Redjustice. Although I'm a bit sad reading about your experiences, nice to meet you too and let's hope for people changing
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
EggYsc2
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
620 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-09 12:39:40
April 09 2012 12:38 GMT
#7
Ive actually dated 3 in a row and they looked like Anna in terms of prettyness
Theyre more out there than you think.

Beware:they are usually more crazy than usual. Are you?(working on a theory)
RedJustice
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States1004 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-09 12:42:06
April 09 2012 12:39 GMT
#8
Don't feel stupid, I appreciated you wanting to help! I was going to PM everyone who answered that blog when I get out of class for the year (8 more days to go woot!) and ask about their availability. I wasn't avoiding talking to you or anything lol, I have school! If you were planning on hitting on me though, I'll just tell you no now, and we can skip to being friends. :D

Anway, that I guess reminds me I didn't emphasize enough-- I have had PLENTY of good experiences as well, and have some good guy friends I have met gaming. I am certainly frustrated by my bad experiences, but I am still here because of the good ones. It is just that the volume of bad experiences from myself and other women has been far too high for me to write it off as bad luck or coincidence. (So I feel the need to just make people aware when topics like this come up.)

EDIT:

beetlelisk: Thanks man. ^^ TL has definitely been one of the things that encouraged me to stick around. I have made some good friends here.

IOvEggY: Are you asking if I am crazy or Zandar? XD
EggYsc2
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
620 Posts
April 09 2012 12:44 GMT
#9
Haha both!
No but you
I have found that gamer girls have some sort of bad experiences in the past that make them a little more "hard to handle"
and thats why they play games(ive asked the girls before thats what they told me)
or maybe its just the girls Ive picked out
but 3 in a row
pretty good odds.
Zandar
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Netherlands1541 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-09 12:50:02
April 09 2012 12:46 GMT
#10
Btw, even with me being male, I kind of have personal experience with the whole thing.
My mother is best healer in a raid guild in a certain mmo. But nobody knows. She fears when they know her age or gender she'll be casted out. Skill wise she's always chosen first.
Also nobody in her real life environment besides my father, brother and me really knows, she thinks she'll gets judged negatively when people find out and prefers not to speak about it.
And yes, I do know plenty of gamer girls. And dated one too, which ended when we both moved to another game lol. And none of them are ugly or look like Anna Just normal girls and women really. Most of them playing mmo's though, don't know any personally playing sc2.

Btw:
If you were planning on hitting on me though, I'll just tell you no now, and we can skip to being friends. :D


Nah don't be afraid for that lol. That's totally not the reason I made this blog.
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
beetlelisk
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Poland2276 Posts
April 09 2012 12:47 GMT
#11
^___^
wwww
Haemonculus
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
United States6980 Posts
April 09 2012 12:50 GMT
#12
RedJustice's words pretty solidly reflect my own thoughts. Especially the part about female gamer's negative experiences not being taken seriously. I'm not sure what's more annoying, the actual sexism you run into, or that you're expected to just roll with the punches and take it.

Or the ever lovely, "Well just don't tell anyone you're female! Clearly by mentioning your gender, you wanted this attention!" Again, as if this is just some inherent part of the gaming culture that you're just supposed to accept, and even censor yourself to appease instead of anyone even considering that perhaps the culture itself needs to change a bit. Sure, I'll just not stream, or never talk, or not show up to live events, or whatever makes you comfortable, -.-;

Sometimes the sexism is very blunt. I used to get "wow she's hot" or "wow she's fugly", or "get back to the kitchen" comments pretty much daily when I used to stream. Sometimes the sexism is really subtle. People assume X Y and Z about you, simply because you're female.

Now all that said, there are plenty of great guys in the community as well. I've met plenty of awesome friends over the net and in games who couldn't care less that I'm female, and take me seriously as a person and gamer. Those folks are awesome, but the community at large tends to still be pretty sexist overall.
I admire your commitment to being *very* oily
RedJustice
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States1004 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-09 12:53:50
April 09 2012 12:50 GMT
#13
Ah well, I do wear flipflops in the snow...

No, but seriously (correct me if I'm wrong), I think by crazy you are referring to the behavior that often gets mentioned in TL girl blogs: a woman who can't be honest about what they want, is very dramatic, and needs/wants high emotional maintenance. In that respect, I would say definitely NOT; I often receive comments from people about how 'guy-like' I come across in my conversations. My personality is bluntly honest. Very bluntly honest. I dislike drama and poor communication, and so my relationships of all kinds tend to be free from that. I would consider myself very low maintenance compared to many other women I know; but of course, I am bias, so take it for what you will. :D

EDIT: Oh sorry Zandar, I meant that bit to Type|NarutO, not you. <3

Haemonculus: Your post actually means a lot to me. Thanks for telling your own experience, which is so similar to mine! ^^
Br3ezy
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States720 Posts
April 09 2012 12:55 GMT
#14
maybe its about who you think is hot or not because ive certainly seen girls who don't appear to sexually stimulate me
Check out my guide to mechanics http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=319876
OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
April 09 2012 12:56 GMT
#15
On April 09 2012 21:50 RedJustice wrote:
Ah well, I do wear flipflops in the snow...

No, but seriously (correct me if I'm wrong), I think by crazy you are referring to the behavior that often gets mentioned in TL girl blogs: a woman who can't be honest about what they want, is very dramatic, and needs/wants high emotional maintenance. In that respect, I would say definitely NOT; I often receive comments from people about how 'guy-like' I come across in my conversations. My personality is bluntly honest. Very bluntly honest. I dislike drama and poor communication, and so my relationships of all kinds tend to be free from that. I would consider myself very low maintenance compared to many other women I know; but of course, I am bias, so take it for what you will. :D

EDIT: Oh sorry Zandar, I meant that bit to Type|NarutO, not you. <3

Haemonculus: Your most actually means a lot to me. Thanks for telling your own experience, which is so similar to mine! ^^

I've read several of your blogs and I was aware that you're a girl, but I don't think that really mattered when it came down to the reception of the blog or the contents within it. Uh, what I mean is, I think in here TL many of us are mature enough to respect each other as 'gamers', not 'gamer boys / gamer girls'.
[TLMS] REBOOT
Zandar
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Netherlands1541 Posts
April 09 2012 12:58 GMT
#16
I dislike drama and poor communication, and so my relationships of all kinds tend to be free from that. I would consider myself very low maintenance compared to many other women I know; but of course, I am bias, so take it for what you will. :D


No problem with that lol. In my experience, the real female gamers hate attention whores and drama queens even more than I do

Now all that said, there are plenty of great guys in the community as well. I've met plenty of awesome friends over the net and in games who couldn't care less that I'm female, and take me seriously as a person and gamer. Those folks are awesome, but the community at large tends to still be pretty sexist overall.


I'd like to think that that's a very vocal minority.
The 14 year old kids that start sweating and become all shy and silent when standing next to a woman irl. Who compensate by trying to be the tough guy online.

If you saw the amount of hate chat in the channel during scarletts games and then saw her fanthread after that's a good indication. Sure there were bans needed in the thread but just a tiny fraction of the bans in the chat.
So many more people in the community seem to love her than hate here, but from those chats you'd think it was the other way around.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
figq
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
12519 Posts
April 09 2012 13:01 GMT
#17
Today most things are getting so superficial that this kind of bullshit is starting to plague even "science". No kidding, female researchers are not what they used to be, getting more and more like Kpop dolls. And one would think at least in these areas people to not be as shallow.

By the way, Kpop is awesome, imo, but mostly because it brings many retro melodic traits that in the west have remained only in past tense, and there they are alive and sincere.
If you stand next to my head, you can hear the ocean. - Day[9]
RedJustice
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States1004 Posts
April 09 2012 13:06 GMT
#18
On April 09 2012 21:58 Zandar wrote:
Show nested quote +
I dislike drama and poor communication, and so my relationships of all kinds tend to be free from that. I would consider myself very low maintenance compared to many other women I know; but of course, I am bias, so take it for what you will. :D


No problem with that lol. In my experience, the real female gamers hate attention whores and drama queens even more than I do

Show nested quote +
Now all that said, there are plenty of great guys in the community as well. I've met plenty of awesome friends over the net and in games who couldn't care less that I'm female, and take me seriously as a person and gamer. Those folks are awesome, but the community at large tends to still be pretty sexist overall.


I'd like to think that that's a very vocal minority.
The 14 year old kids that start sweating and become all shy and silent when standing next to a woman irl. Who compensate by trying to be the tough guy online.

If you saw the amount of hate chat in the channel during scarletts games and then saw her fanthread after that's a good indication. Sure there were bans needed in the thread but just a tiny fraction of the bans in the chat.
So many more people in the community seem to love her than hate here, but from those chats you'd think it was the other way around.



The problem is not a vocal minority-- it is a invocal majority. The sexism is created by an atmosphere of permissiveness and implied encouragement of what the minority has to say. And in that, I think it is correct to say the community as an entity is pretty sexist.
Zorkmid
Profile Joined November 2008
4410 Posts
April 09 2012 13:10 GMT
#19
It's just the "sex sells" thing really. It's the same reason that 95% of on-stage female personalities are attractive. Weathergirls, Newswomen, pundits, etc. There are notable exceptions. Hannah Storm stayed on long after her looks have faded, Oprah isn't much to look at. Barbara Walters is around. They've got to be so much better than their peers though, They're opposite people like Tyra Banks and Elizabeth Hasslebeck.

ranshaked
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States870 Posts
April 09 2012 13:13 GMT
#20
I have two "serious" gamer friends that are girls. Both are fairly attractive and extremely open about their games.
I think they are around, but stick in their cliques
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