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So this girl.
My best friend, we start a relationship. In all honesty, it was her that instigated it. I would have kept my feelings shut up, because I don't change things. So we tried. Relationship-wise, we were probably just too different. She's been around, she was my first kiss. She said I wasn't touchy, make-out enough. Making out is how she deals with depression. I can understand that.
So she said she wants to play around in high school. She doesn't want to be tied down. She wants to make out with who she wants, yadda yadda. Cool, I can understand, we're too different with what we want in a relationship. We're still good. Still watch movies, hang out, even cuddled after it was ended.
Then she says she feels awkward with that. Ok, I understand, makes sense. Let's just be friends, how we used to be. I'll be your best friend, you be mine, like we have been for 5 years.
She stops being too eager to talk to me or see me for a week or two, even when I text her or try to talk to her about how crappy I'm feeling. That hurts. I was thinking she was feeling like it was still awkward, and was kind of giving up on our friendship. Last night she texts me (and texts me first, yes!). She seems really eager to talk, asks me how I'm feeling, etc. My worry is gone. This morning she finds where I'm at in one of my classes and comes by just to give me a hug. That felt good. I'm worrying about nothing. Back to normal, nothing ever happened.
So tonight I'm on Facebook, and it says she's in a relationship with so-and-so. What? You don't want to be tied down in high school? And you just broke up with me three weeks ago? Why start a relationship with me in the first place? I should have known better. She's going to cheat on him. I'm the only guy she hasn't cheated on while in an official relationship, and that's due to our great friendship.
It just feels crappy. I mean, it's her life. I'm not going to be angry. Just be consistent with me. Be my friend because you want to; don't be insincere talking to me and everything because you broke up with me and are with another guy, and feel bad for me.
Life isn't over or anything. I just expected more from her, I guess, even if that's wrong. I'll move on. Not much lost, but nothing gained either.
Blogging always makes me feel better. Thanks for reading.
 
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Seems like she ain't worth the time.
Better luck next time mate. No point feeling bad for people if they don't feel bad for themselves. Being a friendly shoulder is one thing, but shouldering everything is something else.
Have a drink, catch up with other mates and find better friends.
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Bloody hell, that was an emotional rollercoaster (read through the other 2 blog posts). Sometimes I think I am better off being forever alone than in a dodgy relationship! Unlucky broski, plenty mo' fish and all that. You sound like a swell guy too, just brush off the dirt and keep on trucking. Sorry about all the clichés, it's 4 in the morning and I have been reading law for 12 hours, brain not working. I considered this blog and the others as some 'light reading' to distract me for a while :/.
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Unfortunately for you, you've been friend-zoned - she gave it a go with you because she was confused on whether you're in the relationship or the friend-zone, but I have a feeling she has found the answer now.
She feels bad for you because that's how friends should feel for each other. Also, if she wanted relationship if you, she wouldn't discuss her relationship with her new bf with you.
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a lot of people have a no-best-friend policy. not trying to give you shit for it, nor is this the time, but yeah. sorry dude, happened to me too, i understand the pain v.v
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don't take it hard. You should talk with her and explain how it would have been 100x better if she was just honest about it.
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"Friend Zone" is a great place to be. In my experience when people have a breakup it's their friends that they goto for comfort. Just be sure to have clean sheets on your bed and keep it tidy. I value the friendships I've had in my life over the many relationships. I don't even remember some girls or know what ex's are doing with their lives... but I do still love my friends. And who says friends can't sleep together when they're both single?
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Abandon ship! Sounds like a classic friend-zoning, and she isn't worth your time anymore. I mean if you can make a friendship still work then go for it, but you're in the zone of the friends. Stay awhile and listen..
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Off-topic, but I like how you wrote this.
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Sign up for a boxing class together, give her a propper beating. Then go back to being friends, that's probably a good idea. (Whenever you're feeling a bit lousy because of it, you can just smile, nod your head and bring up images of you beating the crap outta her).
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On November 17 2011 13:01 Dalguno wrote:
high school.
That about sums it up. Been there, bro.
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Reading Blogs makes me feel good. Thanks for writing.
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Your being too needy. You say your ok with things when your not. The problem lies in the fact you went from best friends to being in a relationship. Relationship ends, returning back to best friends become an issue.
You used to turn to her to make you feel better. As a best friend, and as a boyfriend. Now, as you can see, 2 different roles involving the same action. Now your not her bf, but you are acting as if you are. But you say, no we are best friends and as that role I expect her to respond to my needs.
Here's the thing: girls in highschool like/ need attention. It validates who they are, America is especially worse with te social heirarchy and being cool/ being liked by boys/ etc.
What you can do: nothing. You need to stop acting like her boyfiend, and best friend. You just have to be her friend, SUPPORT her, but when she wants your attntion, the same way you want hers, you don't indulge in it. It ain't healthy.
I'm on my phone so i'm pretty much strictly speaking the rational side of things, and not the emotional. I understand it doesn't feel nice, (understatement).
It's important how you behave now, because it will dictate how you will respond to future women problems
Plenty of fish in the sea ur too young to care about one
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On November 17 2011 13:54 heroofcanton wrote:That about sums it up. Been there, bro.
This. As far as relationships go, don't take anything that seriously if you're still in high school. You'll realize that as you grow up.
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On November 17 2011 14:13 kethers wrote:Show nested quote +On November 17 2011 13:54 heroofcanton wrote:On November 17 2011 13:01 Dalguno wrote:
high school.
That about sums it up. Been there, bro. This. As far as relationships go, don't take anything that seriously if you're still in high school. You'll realize that as you grow up.
I'm not taking the relationship too seriously. I knew that it had potential to end pretty easily. That's why I'm just fine with just being friends. Like I said, I'd just be happier with some consistency or honesty.
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Osaka27178 Posts
On November 17 2011 14:13 kethers wrote:Show nested quote +On November 17 2011 13:54 heroofcanton wrote:On November 17 2011 13:01 Dalguno wrote:
high school.
That about sums it up. Been there, bro. This. As far as relationships go, don't take anything that seriously if you're still in high school. You'll realize that as you grow up.
Yep. But that doesn't mean the pain right now is any less real. There is no cure for it man, it is just called life. Highs and lows.
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"Making out is how she deals with depression."
Not healthy to go into a relationship with more than 0 parties being depressed, unfortunately.
If that certain someone hooks up every few weeks or so, it's better to have lost than to continue loving (easier said that done, =( ).
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It probably hurts, but seriously you just gotta shrug it off and move on. If she is a valuable friend she WILL come around and apologize someday. But for now, find a new crush, new hobby, or just swear off girls for the rest of HS altogether. I mean, you should be focusing on your studies anyways.. >.>
I tried to create an artificial crush in my sophomore year of HS on an upperclassman. She was hot. That's all I needed.
Got my mind off of the girl I pined over for like 6 years in a heartbeat. Yeah, some may say it's some stupid shit. But it worked. And now I have a beautiful girlfriend of 6 months that I can't get enough of.
Life works out in the end man. Just pull through.
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http://heartiste.wordpress.com/
Read this blog.
Also - girls can never be a man's best friend, girls think differently and just cannot relate to a lot of your problems.
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Stuff like this sucks. I was there in high school too, lost a friend over something as trivial as romantic feelings. It's tough to hear, but you just sort of have to bear it. It sounds ridiculously cliche, but all problems right themselves in due time, as long as you maintain the right attitude.
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EPT
