|
On November 17 2011 15:17 RageBot wrote:http://heartiste.wordpress.com/Read this blog. Also - girls can never be a man's best friend, girls think differently and just cannot relate to a lot of your problems.
I sincerely disagree with that. Being friends with someone of the opposite gender can be difficult especially (assuming you aren't homosexual) as you're automatically programmed to try find something in them to be attracted to. Admittedly my best friend started off as a mild crush, but we became really strong friends and still speak and email sometimes, even though we're in different countries at the moment. While it is harder to not be attracted to them, it isn't impossible - and it often gives you a fresh new perspective on ways to potentially deal with problems.
I speak from experience. My best friend (of the opposite sex) and I have been friends for 6 years now and we're both in relationships with another.
EDIT: to be fair it is all very subjective and there are exceptions, and exceptions to that too. I'm mostly disagreeing that generalizing people of a certain gender is something I feel is wrong. What about a girl who grew up with a lot of brothers? A girl who can relate and sympathise and understand your problems?
|
Someday, you'll realize the drama of high school was just a bunch of stupid kids playing around with each others' emotions. You can't help but think this is your whole life right now, but it really isn't, and one thing the future holds is the ability to heal the past, because unless you let it, in a year this won't matter anymore, or you'll be using what you learned to help you improve and develop as a person. Don't do anything too drastic right now, and you'll be glad you didn't later when everything's different and you don't care about this stuff at all.
|
I read the other blog too. You spoke so highly of her before.
|
On November 18 2011 11:08 obesechicken13 wrote:
I read the other blog too. You spoke so highly of her before.
Yeah just really put off right now. We'll still be friends. I've just got to get over myself I guess, stop making a big deal about it. Such is life.
|
shes kinda doing the same thing that you have been doing, ie feeling that a lot of the relationship between you is based on attraction rather than that plain "friendship"
once that happens, youll feel shitty because you feel shitty because youre attracted to her and she isnt to you
and shell feel shitty because suddenly the emphasis for her is that you arent attractive to her and so she doesnt want much to do with you
does this make any sense to you? (poorly written i know)
anyway you cant judge a person of the opposite sex until you've spent a lot of time absorbing all the information about how differently we think to one another. a link just got posted in the PUA thread (gen forum?) that you should read to give you a starting insight
|
On November 18 2011 11:31 FFGenerations wrote:
shes kinda doing the same thing that you have been doing, ie feeling that a lot of the relationship between you is based on attraction rather than that plain "friendship"
once that happens, youll feel shitty because you feel shitty because youre attracted to her and she isnt to you
and shell feel shitty because suddenly the emphasis for her is that you arent attractive to her and so she doesnt want much to do with you
does this make any sense to you? (poorly written i know)
anyway you cant judge a person of the opposite sex until you've spent a lot of time absorbing all the information about how differently we think to one another. a link just got posted in the PUA thread (gen forum?) that you should read to give you a starting insight
I don't know, we've been pretty platonic our entire relationship as friends. It's never been based on attraction. Everyone needs to know, she's been my best friend for a very long time.
|
Can bring a horse to water, but can't make him drink. Or in a more modern phrase; "can't make a ho a housewife."
I've dated too many of these in my life now and It's shitty but this is what lots of girls do. They just bounce around from guy to guy trying to get attention and pleasure without any acknowledgement of anything but their own happiness. And even not even realizing that this makes them happy only for fleeting moments and not solving their overall unhappiness. It's almost like they are drug addicts just looking for a temporary fix all the time.
Call it daddy issues, sluttiness, or whatever you want. It's just a matter of figuring it out and getting out before you get hurt.
|
Your story is similar to my bestfriend and I.
But she didnt go off dating some one else lol. And we are still best friends. You just have to be there for her but dont let her you will always be there for her like a rag doll. Just be her friend and do whats best for you.
Good luck man.
|
On November 18 2011 11:44 Dalguno wrote:Show nested quote +On November 18 2011 11:31 FFGenerations wrote:
shes kinda doing the same thing that you have been doing, ie feeling that a lot of the relationship between you is based on attraction rather than that plain "friendship"
once that happens, youll feel shitty because you feel shitty because youre attracted to her and she isnt to you
and shell feel shitty because suddenly the emphasis for her is that you arent attractive to her and so she doesnt want much to do with you
does this make any sense to you? (poorly written i know)
anyway you cant judge a person of the opposite sex until you've spent a lot of time absorbing all the information about how differently we think to one another. a link just got posted in the PUA thread (gen forum?) that you should read to give you a starting insight I don't know, we've been pretty platonic our entire relationship as friends. It's never been based on attraction. Everyone needs to know, she's been my best friend for a very long time.
ya but you dated didnt you iirc, which made both of your perceptions/interactions with one another suddenly become attraction-related. like it adds a new depth between you - unfortunately its a negative (she lost attraction for you) , and she thought a lot less of you for a while (didnt wanna talk to you) , but fortunately it looks like it played out well (probably thanks to your maturity). u need to move on, continue to build yourself, maybe try again with her in a few years when you can be more attractive to her
|
On November 18 2011 12:14 FFGenerations wrote:Show nested quote +On November 18 2011 11:44 Dalguno wrote:On November 18 2011 11:31 FFGenerations wrote:
shes kinda doing the same thing that you have been doing, ie feeling that a lot of the relationship between you is based on attraction rather than that plain "friendship"
once that happens, youll feel shitty because you feel shitty because youre attracted to her and she isnt to you
and shell feel shitty because suddenly the emphasis for her is that you arent attractive to her and so she doesnt want much to do with you
does this make any sense to you? (poorly written i know)
anyway you cant judge a person of the opposite sex until you've spent a lot of time absorbing all the information about how differently we think to one another. a link just got posted in the PUA thread (gen forum?) that you should read to give you a starting insight I don't know, we've been pretty platonic our entire relationship as friends. It's never been based on attraction. Everyone needs to know, she's been my best friend for a very long time. ya but you dated didnt you iirc, which made both of your perceptions/interactions with one another suddenly become attraction-related. like it adds a new depth between you - unfortunately its a negative (she lost attraction for you) , and she thought a lot less of you for a while (didnt wanna talk to you) , but fortunately it looks like it played out well (probably thanks to your maturity). u need to move on, continue to build yourself, maybe try again with her in a few years when you can be more attractive to her
Yeah, good advice. Thanks 
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
