• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 20:39
CEST 02:39
KST 09:39
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Code S Season 1 - RO12 Group A: Rogue, Percival, Solar, Zoun8[ASL21] Ro8 Preview Pt1: Inheritors16[ASL21] Ro16 Preview Pt2: All Star10Team Liquid Map Contest #22 - The Finalists20[ASL21] Ro16 Preview Pt1: Fresh Flow9
Community News
2026 GSL Season 1 Qualifiers25Maestros of the Game 2 announced92026 GSL Tour plans announced15Weekly Cups (April 6-12): herO doubles, "Villains" prevail1MaNa leaves Team Liquid25
StarCraft 2
General
Code S Season 1 - RO12 Group A: Rogue, Percival, Solar, Zoun Team Liquid Map Contest #22 - The Finalists Blizzard Classic Cup @ BlizzCon 2026 - $100k prize pool MaNa leaves Team Liquid Maestros of the Game 2 announced
Tourneys
SEL Masters #6 - Solar vs Classic (SC: Evo) $5,000 WardiTV TLMC tournament - Presented by Monster Energy GSL Code S Season 1 (2026) FSL Season 10 Individual Championship WardiTV Spring Cup
Strategy
Custom Maps
[D]RTS in all its shapes and glory <3 [A] Nemrods 1/4 players [M] (2) Frigid Storage
External Content
The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 523 Firewall Mutation # 522 Flip My Base Mutation # 521 Memorable Boss
Brood War
General
BW General Discussion JaeDong's ASL S21 Ro16 Post-Review ASL21 General Discussion Leta's ASL S21 Ro.16 review [ASL21] Ro8 Preview Pt1: Inheritors
Tourneys
[ASL21] Ro8 Day 1 [BSL22] RO16 Group Stage - 02 - 10 May Korean KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 2 [ASL21] Ro8 Day 2
Strategy
Fighting Spirit mining rates Simple Questions, Simple Answers What's the deal with APM & what's its true value Any training maps people recommend?
Other Games
General Games
Daigo vs Menard Best of 10 Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread Dawn of War IV Diablo IV
Dota 2
The Story of Wings Gaming
League of Legends
G2 just beat GenG in First stand
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Vanilla Mini Mafia Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas TL Mafia Community Thread Five o'clock TL Mafia
Community
General
European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread 3D technology/software discussion Canadian Politics Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
The IdrA Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
[Manga] One Piece Anime Discussion Thread [Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books Movie Discussion!
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion McBoner: A hockey love story
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
streaming software Strange computer issues (software) [G] How to Block Livestream Ads
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Sexual Health Of Gamers
TrAiDoS
lurker extra damage testi…
StaticNine
Broowar part 2
qwaykee
Funny Nicknames
LUCKY_NOOB
Iranian anarchists: organize…
XenOsky
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 2442 users

There's something about life...

Blogs > Chef
Post a Reply
1 2 3 Next All
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
August 12 2009 07:15 GMT
#1
So I was playing Risk, the board game of global domination with 4 of my friends. We're all sitting on the floor on opposite sides of the board and one of my friend's feet hit a soda can causing it to spill on the carpet. Yesterday this happened too. The guy who's room it is, a friend of a friend who I've met 3 or 4 times before, was looking for a tissue. He couldn't really find one, so he's asking everyone to look around them for a paper towel or something to clean it up. No one is saying anything and I'm looking around and I see on his nightstand a couple used tissues. I figure since shit is always being spilt on his floor, that must be what they're there for. I pick one up one or two and hand them to him. Yup. They were his jizz tissues. His fucking dried up used old jizz tissues that he left on his nightstand. Jizz. Tissues.

I put them back and went to the washroom to clean my hands. I stepped in the spilt soda. "Fuck, you might as well use my sock to clean it up." I take off my sock and throw it to him. Jizz tissues.

+ Show Spoiler +
Seriously, old jizz tissues. Gross. Who does that? Why? Could be a little more sanitary, please.


*****
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
Lemonwalrus
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States5465 Posts
August 12 2009 07:17 GMT
#2
Jizz tissues.
Fontong
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States6454 Posts
August 12 2009 07:17 GMT
#3
Oh mannnnnnnnnnn

LOL
[ＳＥＣＲＥＴ ＦＯＮＴ] "Dragoon bunker"
Torenhire
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States11681 Posts
August 12 2009 07:22 GMT
#4
... Jizz tissues.
SirJolt: Well maybe if you weren't so big and stupid, it wouldn't have hit you.
ghermination
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
United States2851 Posts
August 12 2009 07:23 GMT
#5
if he had a girlfriend he wouldn't need a tissue. Therefore set your friend up on a blind date.
U Gotta Skate.
paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
August 12 2009 07:29 GMT
#6
jizzues imo
Hates Fun🤔
Deleted User 31060
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
3788 Posts
August 12 2009 07:36 GMT
#7
what?

he doesn't jizz in his pants like the rest of us?
Peaked at C- on ICCUP and proud of it! @Sunyveil
BanZu
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States3329 Posts
August 12 2009 07:37 GMT
#8
That is all bad...
Sun Tzu once said, "Defiler becomes useless at the presences of a vessel."
Hyde
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
Australia14568 Posts
August 12 2009 07:45 GMT
#9
LOL ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Imagine if it wasn't dried up haha
Because when you left, Brood War was all spotlights and titans. Now, with the death of the big leagues, Brood War has moved to the basements and carparks. Now, Brood War is unlicensed brawls, lost teeth, and bloody fights for fistfulls of money - SirJolt
OmgIRok
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Taiwan2699 Posts
August 12 2009 07:49 GMT
#10
how can you tell? please teach me
"Wanna join my [combo] clan?" "We play turret d competitively"
EvilTeletubby
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Baltimore, USA22259 Posts
August 12 2009 07:50 GMT
#11
Well, that's life man, it jizz what it jizz.
Moderatorhttp://carbonleaf.yuku.com/topic/408/t/So-I-proposed-at-a-Carbon-Leaf-concert.html ***** RIP Geoff
Cambium
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
United States16368 Posts
August 12 2009 07:51 GMT
#12
more pun plz ett
When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
jello_biafra
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
United Kingdom6641 Posts
August 12 2009 07:52 GMT
#13
lol ETT

Eww bad luck man...did he actually use your sock to clean the stuff up? :O
The road to hell is paved with good intentions | aka Probert[PaiN] @ iccup / godlikeparagon @ twitch | my BW stream: http://www.teamliquid.net/video/streams/jello_biafra
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
August 12 2009 07:55 GMT
#14
Yes. I brought him back toilet paper in case he didn't, but when I saw that he did, I just handed it to him and said "Here, some for next time."
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
29 fps
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States5725 Posts
August 12 2009 07:57 GMT
#15
you gave him a sock. now he has a jizz sock instead.
4v4 is a battle of who has the better computer.
Mah Buckit!
Profile Joined April 2009
Finland474 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-08-12 08:07:03
August 12 2009 07:57 GMT
#16
Were they Wank Wipes *tm?

[image loading]
Starcraft? Epic Grimness.
saritenite
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Singapore1680 Posts
August 12 2009 07:59 GMT
#17
Makes an interesting story to tell your friend's kids/girlfriend/wife.

Awesome blackmail material
fnaticNoname
Profile Joined January 2008
India858 Posts
August 12 2009 08:02 GMT
#18
Haha, what the heck...
KurtistheTurtle
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States1966 Posts
August 12 2009 08:34 GMT
#19
those jizzues were to clean up his spills
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."
JohnColtrane
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Australia4813 Posts
August 12 2009 08:37 GMT
#20
On August 12 2009 16:59 sArite_nite wrote:
Makes an interesting story to tell your friend's kids/girlfriend/wife.

Awesome blackmail material


you can blackmail someone with jizz tissues? =/
HEY MEYT
1 2 3 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Replay Cast
00:00
StarCraft Evolution League #21
CranKy Ducklings59
LiquipediaDiscussion
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
SpeCial 102
ROOTCatZ 9
StarCraft: Brood War
GuemChi 5901
Artosis 611
910 32
NaDa 17
League of Legends
Doublelift4553
Counter-Strike
fl0m3630
Other Games
summit1g10324
tarik_tv6308
Day[9].tv675
C9.Mang0498
JimRising 345
WinterStarcraft77
Maynarde76
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick1037
BasetradeTV158
Dota 2
PGL Dota 2 - Main Stream55
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
[ Show 17 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Hupsaiya 98
• davetesta27
• musti20045 21
• CranKy Ducklings SOOP3
• intothetv
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Other Games
• imaqtpie1130
• Scarra836
• Day9tv675
Upcoming Events
GSL
8h 51m
Cure vs TriGGeR
ByuN vs Bunny
KCM Race Survival
9h 21m
Big Gabe
11h 21m
Replay Cast
23h 21m
Replay Cast
1d 8h
Escore
1d 9h
OSC
1d 12h
Replay Cast
1d 23h
Replay Cast
2 days
RSL Revival
2 days
[ Show More ]
IPSL
2 days
Ret vs Art_Of_Turtle
Radley vs TBD
BSL
2 days
Replay Cast
2 days
RSL Revival
3 days
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
3 days
BSL
3 days
IPSL
3 days
eOnzErG vs TBD
G5 vs Nesh
Replay Cast
4 days
Wardi Open
4 days
Afreeca Starleague
4 days
Jaedong vs Light
Monday Night Weeklies
4 days
Replay Cast
4 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
5 days
Afreeca Starleague
5 days
Snow vs Flash
GSL
6 days
Replay Cast
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-04-28
WardiTV TLMC #16
Nations Cup 2026

Ongoing

BSL Season 22
ASL Season 21
CSL 2026 SPRING (S20)
IPSL Spring 2026
KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 2
StarCraft2 Community Team League 2026 Spring
2026 GSL S1
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026
IEM Rio 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League S23 Finals
ESL Pro League S23 Stage 1&2
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026

Upcoming

Escore Tournament S2: W5
KK 2v2 League Season 1
Acropolis #4
BSL 22 Non-Korean Championship
CSLAN 4
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
HSC XXIX
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
Maestros of the Game 2
2026 GSL S2
RSL Revival: Season 5
XSE Pro League 2026
IEM Cologne Major 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 2
CS Asia Championships 2026
IEM Atlanta 2026
Asian Champions League 2026
PGL Astana 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.