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Blogs > Chef

Chef

10810 Posts

August 12 2009 07:15 GMT

#1

So I was playing Risk, the board game of global domination with 4 of my friends. We're all sitting on the floor on opposite sides of the board and one of my friend's feet hit a soda can causing it to spill on the carpet. Yesterday this happened too. The guy who's room it is, a friend of a friend who I've met 3 or 4 times before, was looking for a tissue. He couldn't really find one, so he's asking everyone to look around them for a paper towel or something to clean it up. No one is saying anything and I'm looking around and I see on his nightstand a couple used tissues. I figure since shit is always being spilt on his floor, that must be what they're there for. I pick one up one or two and hand them to him. Yup. They were his jizz tissues. His fucking dried up used old jizz tissues that he left on his nightstand. Jizz. Tissues.

I put them back and went to the washroom to clean my hands. I stepped in the spilt soda. "Fuck, you might as well use my sock to clean it up." I take off my sock and throw it to him. Jizz tissues.

+ Show Spoiler +

Seriously, old jizz tissues. Gross. Who does that? Why? Could be a little more sanitary, please.

Lemonwalrus

United States5465 Posts

August 12 2009 07:17 GMT

#2

Jizz tissues.

Fontong

United States6454 Posts

August 12 2009 07:17 GMT

#3

Oh mannnnnnnnnnn

LOL

Torenhire

United States11681 Posts

August 12 2009 07:22 GMT

#4

... Jizz tissues.

ghermination

United States2851 Posts

August 12 2009 07:23 GMT

#5

if he had a girlfriend he wouldn't need a tissue. Therefore set your friend up on a blind date.

paper

13196 Posts

August 12 2009 07:29 GMT

#6

jizzues imo

Deleted User 31060

3788 Posts

August 12 2009 07:36 GMT

#7

what?

he doesn't jizz in his pants like the rest of us?

BanZu

United States3329 Posts

August 12 2009 07:37 GMT

#8

That is all bad...

Hyde

Australia14568 Posts

August 12 2009 07:45 GMT

#9

LOL ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Imagine if it wasn't dried up haha

OmgIRok

Taiwan2699 Posts

August 12 2009 07:49 GMT

#10

how can you tell? please teach me

EvilTeletubby

Baltimore, USA22259 Posts

August 12 2009 07:50 GMT

#11

Well, that's life man, it jizz what it jizz.

Cambium

United States16368 Posts

August 12 2009 07:51 GMT

#12

more pun plz ett

jello_biafra

United Kingdom6641 Posts

August 12 2009 07:52 GMT

#13

lol ETT

Eww bad luck man...did he actually use your sock to clean the stuff up? :O

Chef

10810 Posts

August 12 2009 07:55 GMT

#14

Yes. I brought him back toilet paper in case he didn't, but when I saw that he did, I just handed it to him and said "Here, some for next time."

29 fps

United States5725 Posts

August 12 2009 07:57 GMT

#15

you gave him a sock. now he has a jizz sock instead.

Mah Buckit!

Finland474 Posts

August 12 2009 07:57 GMT

#16

Were they Wank Wipes *tm?

[image loading]

saritenite

Singapore1680 Posts

August 12 2009 07:59 GMT

#17

Makes an interesting story to tell your friend's kids/girlfriend/wife.

Awesome blackmail material

fnaticNoname

India858 Posts

August 12 2009 08:02 GMT

#18

Haha, what the heck...

KurtistheTurtle

United States1966 Posts

August 12 2009 08:34 GMT

#19

those jizzues were to clean up his spills

JohnColtrane

Australia4813 Posts

August 12 2009 08:37 GMT

#20

On August 12 2009 16:59 sArite_nite wrote:
Makes an interesting story to tell your friend's kids/girlfriend/wife.

Awesome blackmail material

you can blackmail someone with jizz tissues? =/

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