• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 07:57
CEST 13:57
KST 20:57
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Code S Season 1 (2026) - RO4 & Finals Preview1[ASL21] Ro4 Preview: On Course12Code S Season 1 - RO8 Preview7[ASL21] Ro8 Preview Pt2: Progenitors8Code S Season 1 - RO12 Group A: Rogue, Percival, Solar, Zoun13
Community News
Code S Season 1 (2026) - RO8 Results2Weekly Cups (May 4-10): Clem, MaxPax, herO win1Maestros of The Game 2 announcement and schedule !11Weekly Cups (April 27-May 4): Clem takes triple0RSL Revival: Season 5 - Qualifiers and Main Event12
StarCraft 2
General
Code S Season 1 (2026) - RO4 & Finals Preview Code S Season 1 (2026) - RO8 Results Code S Season 1 (2026) - RO12 Results Team Liquid Map Contest #22 - The Finalists MaNa leaves Team Liquid
Tourneys
KSL Week 89 2026 GSL Season 2 Qualifiers Maestros of The Game 2 announcement and schedule ! $5,000 WardiTV Spring Championship 2026 SC2 INu's Battles#16 <BO.9>
Strategy
Custom Maps
[D]RTS in all its shapes and glory <3 [A] Nemrods 1/4 players
External Content
Mutation # 525 Wheel of Misfortune The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 524 Death and Taxes Mutation # 523 Firewall
Brood War
General
vespene.gg — BW replays in browser Pros React to: TvT Masterclass in FlaSh vs Light BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ BW General Discussion ASL21 General Discussion
Tourneys
[ASL21] Semifinals B Escore Tournament StarCraft Season 2 [Megathread] Daily Proleagues [ASL21] Semifinals A
Strategy
Fighting Spirit mining rates [G] Hydra ZvZ: An Introduction Simple Questions, Simple Answers Muta micro map competition
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne Starcraft Tabletop Miniature Game PC Games Sales Thread
Dota 2
The Story of Wings Gaming
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Vanilla Mini Mafia Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas TL Mafia Community Thread Five o'clock TL Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread UK Politics Mega-thread YouTube Thread European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
The herO Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
[Manga] One Piece Anime Discussion Thread [Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread McBoner: A hockey love story Formula 1 Discussion
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
streaming software Strange computer issues (software) [G] How to Block Livestream Ads
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
How EEG Data Can Predict Gam…
TrAiDoS
ramps on octagon
StaticNine
Funny Nicknames
LUCKY_NOOB
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 1666 users

There's something about life...

Blogs > Chef
Post a Reply
1 2 3 Next All
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
August 12 2009 07:15 GMT
#1
So I was playing Risk, the board game of global domination with 4 of my friends. We're all sitting on the floor on opposite sides of the board and one of my friend's feet hit a soda can causing it to spill on the carpet. Yesterday this happened too. The guy who's room it is, a friend of a friend who I've met 3 or 4 times before, was looking for a tissue. He couldn't really find one, so he's asking everyone to look around them for a paper towel or something to clean it up. No one is saying anything and I'm looking around and I see on his nightstand a couple used tissues. I figure since shit is always being spilt on his floor, that must be what they're there for. I pick one up one or two and hand them to him. Yup. They were his jizz tissues. His fucking dried up used old jizz tissues that he left on his nightstand. Jizz. Tissues.

I put them back and went to the washroom to clean my hands. I stepped in the spilt soda. "Fuck, you might as well use my sock to clean it up." I take off my sock and throw it to him. Jizz tissues.

+ Show Spoiler +
Seriously, old jizz tissues. Gross. Who does that? Why? Could be a little more sanitary, please.


*****
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
Lemonwalrus
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States5465 Posts
August 12 2009 07:17 GMT
#2
Jizz tissues.
Fontong
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States6454 Posts
August 12 2009 07:17 GMT
#3
Oh mannnnnnnnnnn

LOL
[ＳＥＣＲＥＴ ＦＯＮＴ] "Dragoon bunker"
Torenhire
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States11681 Posts
August 12 2009 07:22 GMT
#4
... Jizz tissues.
SirJolt: Well maybe if you weren't so big and stupid, it wouldn't have hit you.
ghermination
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
United States2851 Posts
August 12 2009 07:23 GMT
#5
if he had a girlfriend he wouldn't need a tissue. Therefore set your friend up on a blind date.
U Gotta Skate.
paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
August 12 2009 07:29 GMT
#6
jizzues imo
Hates Fun🤔
Deleted User 31060
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
3788 Posts
August 12 2009 07:36 GMT
#7
what?

he doesn't jizz in his pants like the rest of us?
Peaked at C- on ICCUP and proud of it! @Sunyveil
BanZu
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States3329 Posts
August 12 2009 07:37 GMT
#8
That is all bad...
Sun Tzu once said, "Defiler becomes useless at the presences of a vessel."
Hyde
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
Australia14568 Posts
August 12 2009 07:45 GMT
#9
LOL ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Imagine if it wasn't dried up haha
Because when you left, Brood War was all spotlights and titans. Now, with the death of the big leagues, Brood War has moved to the basements and carparks. Now, Brood War is unlicensed brawls, lost teeth, and bloody fights for fistfulls of money - SirJolt
OmgIRok
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Taiwan2699 Posts
August 12 2009 07:49 GMT
#10
how can you tell? please teach me
"Wanna join my [combo] clan?" "We play turret d competitively"
EvilTeletubby
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Baltimore, USA22259 Posts
August 12 2009 07:50 GMT
#11
Well, that's life man, it jizz what it jizz.
Moderatorhttp://carbonleaf.yuku.com/topic/408/t/So-I-proposed-at-a-Carbon-Leaf-concert.html ***** RIP Geoff
Cambium
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
United States16368 Posts
August 12 2009 07:51 GMT
#12
more pun plz ett
When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
jello_biafra
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
United Kingdom6641 Posts
August 12 2009 07:52 GMT
#13
lol ETT

Eww bad luck man...did he actually use your sock to clean the stuff up? :O
The road to hell is paved with good intentions | aka Probert[PaiN] @ iccup / godlikeparagon @ twitch | my BW stream: http://www.teamliquid.net/video/streams/jello_biafra
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
August 12 2009 07:55 GMT
#14
Yes. I brought him back toilet paper in case he didn't, but when I saw that he did, I just handed it to him and said "Here, some for next time."
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
29 fps
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States5725 Posts
August 12 2009 07:57 GMT
#15
you gave him a sock. now he has a jizz sock instead.
4v4 is a battle of who has the better computer.
Mah Buckit!
Profile Joined April 2009
Finland474 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-08-12 08:07:03
August 12 2009 07:57 GMT
#16
Were they Wank Wipes *tm?

[image loading]
Starcraft? Epic Grimness.
saritenite
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Singapore1680 Posts
August 12 2009 07:59 GMT
#17
Makes an interesting story to tell your friend's kids/girlfriend/wife.

Awesome blackmail material
fnaticNoname
Profile Joined January 2008
India858 Posts
August 12 2009 08:02 GMT
#18
Haha, what the heck...
KurtistheTurtle
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States1966 Posts
August 12 2009 08:34 GMT
#19
those jizzues were to clean up his spills
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."
JohnColtrane
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Australia4813 Posts
August 12 2009 08:37 GMT
#20
On August 12 2009 16:59 sArite_nite wrote:
Makes an interesting story to tell your friend's kids/girlfriend/wife.

Awesome blackmail material


you can blackmail someone with jizz tissues? =/
HEY MEYT
1 2 3 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
RSL Revival
10:00
Season 5: Playoffs Day 2
Clem vs RogueLIVE!
Tasteless1178
IntoTheiNu 1155
Ryung 498
RotterdaM397
TKL 324
Rex97
3DClanTV 67
CranKy Ducklings59
CranKy Ducklings SOOP8
LiquipediaDiscussion
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
Tasteless 1178
Ryung 498
RotterdaM 397
TKL 324
Lowko273
ProTech150
Rex 97
MindelVK 25
StarCraft: Brood War
Britney 28959
Sea 6042
Mini 449
firebathero 320
ZerO 225
ggaemo 217
Zeus 188
Last 183
Soulkey 126
Rush 126
[ Show more ]
Pusan 93
Bonyth 67
hero 62
Hm[arnc] 51
Sea.KH 46
Liquid`Ret 40
Sacsri 25
Backho 24
Nal_rA 21
Barracks 18
soO 17
Noble 8
Dota 2
Gorgc5137
League of Legends
Reynor24
Heroes of the Storm
Trikslyr30
Other Games
gofns25171
Grubby2659
singsing1860
B2W.Neo525
byalli409
crisheroes269
DeMusliM229
Sick168
mouzStarbuck138
monkeys_forever92
KnowMe69
ZerO(Twitch)11
Organizations
Counter-Strike
PGL22713
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
[ Show 16 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Adnapsc2 29
• iHatsuTV 9
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• iopq 2
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Nemesis1822
• Jankos1429
• Stunt419
Upcoming Events
IPSL
4h 3m
Dewalt vs nOmaD
Ret vs Cross
BSL
4h 3m
Artosis vs Sterling
eOnzErG vs TBD
BSL
7h 3m
Bonyth vs Doodle
Dewalt vs TerrOr
Patches Events
10h 48m
GSL
20h 3m
Cure vs herO
SHIN vs Maru
IPSL
1d 4h
Bonyth vs Napoleon
G5 vs JDConan
BSL
1d 7h
OyAji vs JDConan
DragOn vs TBD
Replay Cast
1d 21h
Monday Night Weeklies
2 days
Replay Cast
2 days
[ Show More ]
The PondCast
2 days
GSL
3 days
Replay Cast
4 days
GSL
4 days
Replay Cast
5 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
5 days
Replay Cast
6 days
RSL Revival
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Escore Tournament S2: W7
WardiTV TLMC #16
Nations Cup 2026

Ongoing

BSL Season 22
ASL Season 21
IPSL Spring 2026
KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 2
Acropolis #4
KK 2v2 League Season 1
BSL 22 Non-Korean Championship
SCTL 2026 Spring
RSL Revival: Season 5
2026 GSL S1
Heroes Pulsing #1
Asian Champions League 2026
IEM Atlanta 2026
PGL Astana 2026
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026
IEM Rio 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League S23 Finals
ESL Pro League S23 Stage 1&2

Upcoming

YSL S3
Escore Tournament S2: W8
CSLAN 4
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
HSC XXIX
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
Maestros of the Game 2
WardiTV Spring 2026
2026 GSL S2
BLAST Bounty Summer Qual
Stake Ranked Episode 3
XSE Pro League 2026
IEM Cologne Major 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 2
CS Asia Championships 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.