• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 16:39
CET 22:39
KST 06:39
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
RSL Revival - 2025 Season Finals Preview8RSL Season 3 - Playoffs Preview0RSL Season 3 - RO16 Groups C & D Preview0RSL Season 3 - RO16 Groups A & B Preview2TL.net Map Contest #21: Winners12
Community News
Weekly Cups (Dec 29-Jan 4): Protoss rolls, 2v2 returns6[BSL21] Non-Korean Championship - Starts Jan 103SC2 All-Star Invitational: Jan 17-1822Weekly Cups (Dec 22-28): Classic & MaxPax win, Percival surprises3Weekly Cups (Dec 15-21): Classic wins big, MaxPax & Clem take weeklies3
StarCraft 2
General
Weekly Cups (Dec 29-Jan 4): Protoss rolls, 2v2 returns SC2 All-Star Invitational: Jan 17-18 Weekly Cups (Dec 22-28): Classic & MaxPax win, Percival surprises Chinese SC2 server to reopen; live all-star event in Hangzhou Starcraft 2 Zerg Coach
Tourneys
SC2 AI Tournament 2026 WardiTV Winter Cup OSC Season 13 World Championship uThermal 2v2 Circuit WardiTV Mondays
Strategy
Simple Questions Simple Answers
Custom Maps
Map Editor closed ?
External Content
Mutation # 507 Well Trained Mutation # 506 Warp Zone Mutation # 505 Rise From Ashes Mutation # 504 Retribution
Brood War
General
I would like to say something about StarCraft BW General Discussion StarCraft & BroodWar Campaign Speedrun Quest BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ Data analysis on 70 million replays
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues [BSL21] Grand Finals - Sunday 21:00 CET [BSL21] Non-Korean Championship - Starts Jan 10 SLON Grand Finals – Season 2
Strategy
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Game Theory for Starcraft Current Meta [G] How to get started on ladder as a new Z player
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread General RTS Discussion Thread Awesome Games Done Quick 2026! Should offensive tower rushing be viable in RTS games?
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Vanilla Mini Mafia Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas Survivor II: The Amazon Sengoku Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Trading/Investing Thread The Big Programming Thread Canadian Politics Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
White-Ra Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Anime Discussion Thread [Manga] One Piece
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List TL+ Announced
Blogs
How do archons sleep?
8882
Psychological Factors That D…
TrAiDoS
James Bond movies ranking - pa…
Topin
StarCraft improvement
iopq
GOAT of Goats list
BisuDagger
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 2064 users

There's something about life...

Blogs > Chef
Post a Reply
1 2 3 Next All
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
August 12 2009 07:15 GMT
#1
So I was playing Risk, the board game of global domination with 4 of my friends. We're all sitting on the floor on opposite sides of the board and one of my friend's feet hit a soda can causing it to spill on the carpet. Yesterday this happened too. The guy who's room it is, a friend of a friend who I've met 3 or 4 times before, was looking for a tissue. He couldn't really find one, so he's asking everyone to look around them for a paper towel or something to clean it up. No one is saying anything and I'm looking around and I see on his nightstand a couple used tissues. I figure since shit is always being spilt on his floor, that must be what they're there for. I pick one up one or two and hand them to him. Yup. They were his jizz tissues. His fucking dried up used old jizz tissues that he left on his nightstand. Jizz. Tissues.

I put them back and went to the washroom to clean my hands. I stepped in the spilt soda. "Fuck, you might as well use my sock to clean it up." I take off my sock and throw it to him. Jizz tissues.

+ Show Spoiler +
Seriously, old jizz tissues. Gross. Who does that? Why? Could be a little more sanitary, please.


*****
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
Lemonwalrus
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States5465 Posts
August 12 2009 07:17 GMT
#2
Jizz tissues.
Fontong
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States6454 Posts
August 12 2009 07:17 GMT
#3
Oh mannnnnnnnnnn

LOL
[ＳＥＣＲＥＴ ＦＯＮＴ] "Dragoon bunker"
Torenhire
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States11681 Posts
August 12 2009 07:22 GMT
#4
... Jizz tissues.
SirJolt: Well maybe if you weren't so big and stupid, it wouldn't have hit you.
ghermination
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
United States2851 Posts
August 12 2009 07:23 GMT
#5
if he had a girlfriend he wouldn't need a tissue. Therefore set your friend up on a blind date.
U Gotta Skate.
paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
August 12 2009 07:29 GMT
#6
jizzues imo
Hates Fun🤔
Deleted User 31060
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
3788 Posts
August 12 2009 07:36 GMT
#7
what?

he doesn't jizz in his pants like the rest of us?
Peaked at C- on ICCUP and proud of it! @Sunyveil
BanZu
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States3329 Posts
August 12 2009 07:37 GMT
#8
That is all bad...
Sun Tzu once said, "Defiler becomes useless at the presences of a vessel."
Hyde
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
Australia14568 Posts
August 12 2009 07:45 GMT
#9
LOL ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Imagine if it wasn't dried up haha
Because when you left, Brood War was all spotlights and titans. Now, with the death of the big leagues, Brood War has moved to the basements and carparks. Now, Brood War is unlicensed brawls, lost teeth, and bloody fights for fistfulls of money - SirJolt
OmgIRok
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Taiwan2699 Posts
August 12 2009 07:49 GMT
#10
how can you tell? please teach me
"Wanna join my [combo] clan?" "We play turret d competitively"
EvilTeletubby
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Baltimore, USA22258 Posts
August 12 2009 07:50 GMT
#11
Well, that's life man, it jizz what it jizz.
Moderatorhttp://carbonleaf.yuku.com/topic/408/t/So-I-proposed-at-a-Carbon-Leaf-concert.html ***** RIP Geoff
Cambium
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
United States16368 Posts
August 12 2009 07:51 GMT
#12
more pun plz ett
When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
jello_biafra
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
United Kingdom6639 Posts
August 12 2009 07:52 GMT
#13
lol ETT

Eww bad luck man...did he actually use your sock to clean the stuff up? :O
The road to hell is paved with good intentions | aka Probert[PaiN] @ iccup / godlikeparagon @ twitch | my BW stream: http://www.teamliquid.net/video/streams/jello_biafra
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
August 12 2009 07:55 GMT
#14
Yes. I brought him back toilet paper in case he didn't, but when I saw that he did, I just handed it to him and said "Here, some for next time."
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
29 fps
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States5725 Posts
August 12 2009 07:57 GMT
#15
you gave him a sock. now he has a jizz sock instead.
4v4 is a battle of who has the better computer.
Mah Buckit!
Profile Joined April 2009
Finland474 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-08-12 08:07:03
August 12 2009 07:57 GMT
#16
Were they Wank Wipes *tm?

[image loading]
Starcraft? Epic Grimness.
saritenite
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Singapore1680 Posts
August 12 2009 07:59 GMT
#17
Makes an interesting story to tell your friend's kids/girlfriend/wife.

Awesome blackmail material
fnaticNoname
Profile Joined January 2008
India858 Posts
August 12 2009 08:02 GMT
#18
Haha, what the heck...
KurtistheTurtle
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States1966 Posts
August 12 2009 08:34 GMT
#19
those jizzues were to clean up his spills
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."
JohnColtrane
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Australia4813 Posts
August 12 2009 08:37 GMT
#20
On August 12 2009 16:59 sArite_nite wrote:
Makes an interesting story to tell your friend's kids/girlfriend/wife.

Awesome blackmail material


you can blackmail someone with jizz tissues? =/
HEY MEYT
1 2 3 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 16h 21m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
UpATreeSC 162
JuggernautJason156
Livibee 34
StarCraft: Brood War
Britney 16913
Shuttle 582
NaDa 10
Dota 2
syndereN453
LuMiX1
League of Legends
C9.Mang0730
JimRising 508
Counter-Strike
fl0m1745
shoxiejesuss1081
Heroes of the Storm
Liquid`Hasu571
Other Games
FrodaN4256
Grubby3666
Liquid`RaSZi2431
Beastyqt760
Pyrionflax340
RotterdaM275
DeMusliM271
ToD199
B2W.Neo187
ArmadaUGS128
Fuzer 112
ZombieGrub32
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick43017
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 17 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• HeavenSC 34
• Reevou 26
• musti20045 19
• Hupsaiya 15
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• sooper7s
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
StarCraft: Brood War
• FirePhoenix5
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
• BSLYoutube
Other Games
• imaqtpie2707
• Shiphtur353
Upcoming Events
OSC
16h 21m
SOOP
2 days
SHIN vs GuMiho
Cure vs Creator
The PondCast
2 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
3 days
IPSL
3 days
DragOn vs Sziky
Replay Cast
4 days
Wardi Open
4 days
Monday Night Weeklies
4 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-01-06
WardiTV 2025
META Madness #9

Ongoing

C-Race Season 1
IPSL Winter 2025-26
OSC Championship Season 13
eXTREMESLAND 2025
SL Budapest Major 2025
ESL Impact League Season 8
BLAST Rivals Fall 2025
IEM Chengdu 2025
PGL Masters Bucharest 2025

Upcoming

Escore Tournament S1: W3
BSL 21 Non-Korean Championship
CSL 2025 WINTER (S19)
Acropolis #4
IPSL Spring 2026
Bellum Gens Elite Stara Zagora 2026
HSC XXVIII
Thunderfire SC2 All-star 2025
Big Gabe Cup #3
Nations Cup 2026
Underdog Cup #3
NA Kuram Kup
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League Season 23
ESL Pro League Season 23
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter Qual
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.