• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 23:52
CEST 05:52
KST 12:52
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
[ASL22] Ro16 Preview: Rough Waters9[ASL22] Ro24 Preview: Siren's Call8[ASL22] Ro24 Preview: Summer's End9Serral wins HomeStory Cup 2915Serral wins Maestros of the Game 244
Community News
Weekly Cups (Aug 30-Sep 7): herO thrives amid growing schism4Official StarCraft website teases new content ahead of BlizzCon?117Stellar Fest TWO the Moon (Dec 16-20)9Weekly Cups (August 24-30): Patches' balance mod takes over3New 3v3 BGH Ladder (and more) on ShieldBattery!46
StarCraft 2
General
Weekly Cups (Aug 30-Sep 7): herO thrives amid growing schism Nexon wins bid to develop StarCraft IP content, distribute Overwatch mobile game Balance hotfix patch 5.0.16b (July 16) SC4ALL: II Winner Will Earn a Spot at HSC 30! Weekly Cups (August 24-30): Patches' balance mod takes over
Tourneys
Sea Duckling Open (Global, Bronze-Diamond) 2026 GSTL Announcement Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament Stellar Fest TWO the Moon (Dec 16-20) IntoTheTV X SOOP SC2 League : Weekly & Monthly
Strategy
[G] Having the right mentality to improve
Custom Maps
Nexus Wars 2021 GUIDE [M] (2) Industrial Park
External Content
Mutation # 542 The Ascended Mutation # 541 Binary Choice The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 540 Dodge This
Brood War
General
[ASL22] Ro16 Preview: Rough Waters ASL22 General Discussion Official StarCraft website teases new content ahead of BlizzCon? Pros React To: Calm's Big Brain Play Vs Mini New 3v3 BGH Ladder (and more) on ShieldBattery!
Tourneys
[ASL22] Ro16 Group B [Megathread] Daily Proleagues 2v2v2v2 Tournament [ASL22] Ro16 Group A
Strategy
Replay Review Process - What do you do? Simple Questions, Simple Answers Odyssey Mineral Stack Saturation Game Theory for Starcraft
Other Games
General Games
Nintendo Switch Thread EVE Corporation Diablo IV [Maplestory Hardcore] Let's Play~!! General RTS Discussion Thread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
[TL LoL EUW IHs] Teemo shall perish TSM pausing esports and CLG Dead
Heroes of the Storm
Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Power Rank TL Mafia Community Thread NeO.D_StephenKing vs This Guy From 1 Million Dance
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Trading/Investing Thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Russo-Ukrainian War Thread UK Politics Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
MarineLorD Fan Club The Creator Fan Club The ShoWTimE Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Movie Discussion! Anime Discussion Thread
Sports
Football (Soccer) Thread TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 MLB/Baseball 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List Northern Ireland Global Starcraft
Blogs
F* the Children and Get Off …
TrAiDoS
Dreaming of BW patches (mod…
c3rberUs
Regacy Esports: The Bh…
regacyesports
LOCKPICKING NOOB
LUCKY_NOOB
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 6102 users

There's something about life...

Blogs > Chef
Post a Reply
1 2 3 Next All
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
August 12 2009 07:15 GMT
#1
So I was playing Risk, the board game of global domination with 4 of my friends. We're all sitting on the floor on opposite sides of the board and one of my friend's feet hit a soda can causing it to spill on the carpet. Yesterday this happened too. The guy who's room it is, a friend of a friend who I've met 3 or 4 times before, was looking for a tissue. He couldn't really find one, so he's asking everyone to look around them for a paper towel or something to clean it up. No one is saying anything and I'm looking around and I see on his nightstand a couple used tissues. I figure since shit is always being spilt on his floor, that must be what they're there for. I pick one up one or two and hand them to him. Yup. They were his jizz tissues. His fucking dried up used old jizz tissues that he left on his nightstand. Jizz. Tissues.

I put them back and went to the washroom to clean my hands. I stepped in the spilt soda. "Fuck, you might as well use my sock to clean it up." I take off my sock and throw it to him. Jizz tissues.

+ Show Spoiler +
Seriously, old jizz tissues. Gross. Who does that? Why? Could be a little more sanitary, please.


*****
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
Lemonwalrus
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States5465 Posts
August 12 2009 07:17 GMT
#2
Jizz tissues.
Fontong
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States6454 Posts
August 12 2009 07:17 GMT
#3
Oh mannnnnnnnnnn

LOL
[SECRET FONT] "Dragoon bunker"
Torenhire
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States11681 Posts
August 12 2009 07:22 GMT
#4
... Jizz tissues.
SirJolt: Well maybe if you weren't so big and stupid, it wouldn't have hit you.
ghermination
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
United States2851 Posts
August 12 2009 07:23 GMT
#5
if he had a girlfriend he wouldn't need a tissue. Therefore set your friend up on a blind date.
U Gotta Skate.
paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
August 12 2009 07:29 GMT
#6
jizzues imo
Hates Fun🤔
Deleted User 31060
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
3788 Posts
August 12 2009 07:36 GMT
#7
what?

he doesn't jizz in his pants like the rest of us?
Peaked at C- on ICCUP and proud of it! @Sunyveil
BanZu
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States3329 Posts
August 12 2009 07:37 GMT
#8
That is all bad...
Sun Tzu once said, "Defiler becomes useless at the presences of a vessel."
Hyde
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
Australia14568 Posts
August 12 2009 07:45 GMT
#9
LOL ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Imagine if it wasn't dried up haha
Because when you left, Brood War was all spotlights and titans. Now, with the death of the big leagues, Brood War has moved to the basements and carparks. Now, Brood War is unlicensed brawls, lost teeth, and bloody fights for fistfulls of money - SirJolt
OmgIRok
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Taiwan2699 Posts
August 12 2009 07:49 GMT
#10
how can you tell? please teach me
"Wanna join my [combo] clan?" "We play turret d competitively"
EvilTeletubby
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Baltimore, USA22261 Posts
August 12 2009 07:50 GMT
#11
Well, that's life man, it jizz what it jizz.
Moderatorhttp://carbonleaf.yuku.com/topic/408/t/So-I-proposed-at-a-Carbon-Leaf-concert.html ***** RIP Geoff
Cambium
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
United States16368 Posts
August 12 2009 07:51 GMT
#12
more pun plz ett
When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
jello_biafra
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
United Kingdom6642 Posts
August 12 2009 07:52 GMT
#13
lol ETT

Eww bad luck man...did he actually use your sock to clean the stuff up? :O
The road to hell is paved with good intentions | aka Probert[PaiN] @ iccup / godlikeparagon @ twitch | my BW stream: http://www.teamliquid.net/video/streams/jello_biafra
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
August 12 2009 07:55 GMT
#14
Yes. I brought him back toilet paper in case he didn't, but when I saw that he did, I just handed it to him and said "Here, some for next time."
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
29 fps
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States5725 Posts
August 12 2009 07:57 GMT
#15
you gave him a sock. now he has a jizz sock instead.
4v4 is a battle of who has the better computer.
Mah Buckit!
Profile Joined April 2009
Finland474 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-08-12 08:07:03
August 12 2009 07:57 GMT
#16
Were they Wank Wipes *tm?

[image loading]
Starcraft? Epic Grimness.
saritenite
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Singapore1680 Posts
August 12 2009 07:59 GMT
#17
Makes an interesting story to tell your friend's kids/girlfriend/wife.

Awesome blackmail material
fnaticNoname
Profile Joined January 2008
India858 Posts
August 12 2009 08:02 GMT
#18
Haha, what the heck...
KurtistheTurtle
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States1966 Posts
August 12 2009 08:34 GMT
#19
those jizzues were to clean up his spills
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."
JohnColtrane
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Australia4813 Posts
August 12 2009 08:37 GMT
#20
On August 12 2009 16:59 sArite_nite wrote:
Makes an interesting story to tell your friend's kids/girlfriend/wife.

Awesome blackmail material


you can blackmail someone with jizz tissues? =/
HEY MEYT
1 2 3 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
PiGosaur Cup
00:00
#98
PiGStarcraft425
davetesta34
Liquipedia
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
PiGStarcraft425
RuFF_SC2 178
StarCraft: Brood War
Rain 2605
910 110
sSak 48
Noble 8
Dota 2
monkeys_forever343
LuMiX1
League of Legends
JimRising 596
Counter-Strike
m0e_tv454
Other Games
summit1g10193
C9.Mang0391
WinterStarcraft375
hungrybox242
Maynarde89
ViBE73
[ Show 11 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Berry_CruncH309
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• Migwel
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Dota 2
• masondota21187
League of Legends
• Lourlo1035
Upcoming Events
Kung Fu Cup
7h 8m
Replay Cast
20h 8m
The PondCast
1d 6h
KCM Race Survival
1d 6h
Escore
2 days
IntoTheTV X SOOP
2 days
CranKy Ducklings
3 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
4 days
Shopify Rebellion Sundays
4 days
Spirit vs Mixu
Clem vs TBD
RSL Revival
4 days
[ Show More ]
BlizzCon
4 days
Replay Cast
4 days
Afreeca Starleague
5 days
WardiTV Weekly
5 days
Afreeca Starleague
6 days
GSL
6 days
PiGosaur Cup
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-09-08
PiG Sty Festival 8.0
Big Dog Cup 2026 Div 1

Ongoing

KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 3
K-JUNGMAN
ASL Season 22
Super Anchor Qualifying S3
CSL 2026 AUTUMN (S22)
Acropolis #5
Acropolis #5 - TRS
RSL Revival: Season 6
Calamity Invitational
FISSURE Playground #3
BLAST Open Fall 2026
Esports World Cup 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer Qual
Stake Ranked Episode 3
XSE Pro League 2026

Upcoming

Escore Tournament S3: King of Kings
Acropolis #5 - GSA
Blizzard Classic Cup 2026
Acropolis #5 - GSB
Acropolis #5 - GSC
SC4ALL II: Brood War
HSC XXX
Stellar Fest 2: Lunar Cup
SC4ALL II: StarCraft II
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
RSL Offline Finals
Blizzard Classic Cup 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 6
BLAST Rivals Fall 2026
IEM Beijing 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 5
PGL Masters Bucharest 2026
1win Private Club #2
Thunderpick World Champ. '26
ESL Pro League Season 24
Stake Ranked Episode 4
1win Private Club #1
Logitech G Play Connect 2026
SL StarSeries Fall 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.