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Most girls attempt to portray some facade of innocence/sweetness. There are the genuine ones (most of the time less attractive), but ignore them for now.
I met a girl and I feel completely tricked. Usually it's pretty easy to tell when a girl starts putting on the fakeness mask, but this one passed right over my head for few months, before I realized.
Please don't misunderstand me - this isn't a my heart is broken, help me thread. This is a have you been bamboozled by a girl into thinking she's somebody she isn't.
PLease don't reply and say 'all girls are fake..duh'.
Obviously, the above statement applies to most girls. But what I want to know is your personal experience with this.
Poll: Have you been bamboozled
(Vote): y
(Vote): n
 
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i think everybody does it(pretending). its just human nature. probably they don't want to go out of their comfort zone
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of course it happened to you, you thought heartbreak was supposed to be heatbreak
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On August 02 2009 12:56 hcliff454 wrote:
of course it happened to you, you thought heartbreak was supposed to be heatbreak
dang. good one
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On August 02 2009 12:56 hcliff454 wrote:
of course it happened to you, you thought heartbreak was supposed to be heatbreak
Winner.
My answer to thread -> Yes.
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2 heatbreak threads in a row
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Currently being bamboozled, and as you mentioned, she is ridiculously hot T_T.
FML
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On August 02 2009 12:58 anderoo wrote:
2 heatbreak threads in a row
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
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No. This has never happened to another human being in the history of humanity. How could it?
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On August 02 2009 12:58 anderoo wrote:
2 heatbreak threads in a row
LMAO
thanks for the orange juice all over my monitor now
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On August 02 2009 12:48 kdog3683 wrote:
Please don't misunderstand me - this isn't a my heart is broken, help me thread.
Of course not, that would be impossible, as hearts don't break
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United States4796 Posts
I was once bamboozled.
On a ridge of some sort.
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On August 02 2009 13:22 Purind wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2009 12:48 kdog3683 wrote:
Please don't misunderstand me - this isn't a my heart is broken, help me thread.
Of course not, that would be impossible, as hearts don't break
the point of a metaphor is to not take it literally
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On August 02 2009 13:30 hcliff454 wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2009 13:22 Purind wrote:On August 02 2009 12:48 kdog3683 wrote:
Please don't misunderstand me - this isn't a my heart is broken, help me thread.
Of course not, that would be impossible, as hearts don't break the point of a metaphor is to not take it literally
so out of the loop. nice try though.
Edit: Back on topic, Just b/c girls don't know what they are saying, and have their terminologies wrapped around kdramas, should not be a reason for you to call them fake.
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NeverGG
United Kingdom5399 Posts
Wow - way to make massive generalizations about women. *Some* men are just as bad in other ways when it comes to putting on a facade and pretending they're something they're not. Not all of them though - it's ridiculous to label 'most' women as fake (or genuine and yet less attractive.) It kind of makes you sound very judge-mental.
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This is beyond stupid, I expected something like this from clasic, not from any other human being.
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kdog will never be able to post another blog without heatbreak jokes..poor guy.
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I ended up clicking on this post so ultimately, yes I have been bamboozled.
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ITS A TRAP
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On August 02 2009 14:03 NeverGG wrote:
Wow - way to make massive generalizations about women. *Some* men are just as bad in other ways when it comes to putting on a facade and pretending they're something they're not. Not all of them though - it's ridiculous to label 'most' women as fake (or genuine and yet less attractive.) It kind of makes you sound very judge-mental.
we rather state the truth and sound judgemental than state "most" women are "real"
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On August 02 2009 14:21 Forgottenfrog wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2009 14:03 NeverGG wrote:
Wow - way to make massive generalizations about women. *Some* men are just as bad in other ways when it comes to putting on a facade and pretending they're something they're not. Not all of them though - it's ridiculous to label 'most' women as fake (or genuine and yet less attractive.) It kind of makes you sound very judge-mental. we rather state the truth and sound judgemental than state "most" women are "real"
Waits for never response.
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NeverGG
United Kingdom5399 Posts
On August 02 2009 14:24 PanN wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2009 14:21 Forgottenfrog wrote:On August 02 2009 14:03 NeverGG wrote:
Wow - way to make massive generalizations about women. *Some* men are just as bad in other ways when it comes to putting on a facade and pretending they're something they're not. Not all of them though - it's ridiculous to label 'most' women as fake (or genuine and yet less attractive.) It kind of makes you sound very judge-mental. we rather state the truth and sound judgemental than state "most" women are "real" Waits for never response.
I'm still trying to figure out what the hell that sentence actually meant. Trying to be pretentious doesn't really work if you don't even remember to capitalize your words. I'm not planning to discuss this at length (because I'm actually meant to be working right now.) but I stand by my opinion that the op is a bit of a generalization about women. He is entitled to his opinion though, of course.
[EDIT]
In regards to the slightly cryptic message that I've now figured out - Why would you do that? It seems pretty cowardly to state the so-called 'truth' and end up looking like a douche than to acknowledge that you cannot judge 'most' women until you have met them. Sometimes looking at TL girl blogs makes me honestly believe some posters think women are an alien species/some kind of game or puzzle. I never thought men considered these issues as much as some of the ones on here seem to O.o
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On August 02 2009 14:03 NeverGG wrote:
Wow - way to make massive generalizations about women. *Some* men are just as bad in other ways when it comes to putting on a facade and pretending they're something they're not. Not all of them though - it's ridiculous to label 'most' women as fake (or genuine and yet less attractive.) It kind of makes you sound very judge-mental. Well I have two sisters and have therefore met many of their friends, and gotten close to them, and by *all* of their admissions, women put up twice the facade men do. Because of this, I think im a pretty good judge of character. So no I've never been bamboozled. I know when someone is putting on a fake voice to pretend their interested when their not, fake smiles, blah blah blah. Women are just like that. ESPECIALLY with other women.
Edit: To clarify, I think everyone regardless of gender acts fake at least 50% of the time. When someone is of a more genuine character, they are usually characterized as assholes. Just how life is. But as I said...women do it more, especially with other women. I think its just that their more emotional than guys so they have [or feel they have to] to watch what they say more.
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On August 02 2009 14:29 NeverGG wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2009 14:24 PanN wrote:On August 02 2009 14:21 Forgottenfrog wrote:On August 02 2009 14:03 NeverGG wrote:
Wow - way to make massive generalizations about women. *Some* men are just as bad in other ways when it comes to putting on a facade and pretending they're something they're not. Not all of them though - it's ridiculous to label 'most' women as fake (or genuine and yet less attractive.) It kind of makes you sound very judge-mental. we rather state the truth and sound judgemental than state "most" women are "real" Waits for never response. I'm still trying to figure out what the hell that sentence actually meant. Trying to be pretentious doesn't really work if you don't even remember to capitalize your words. I'm not planning to discuss this at length (because I'm actually meant to be working right now.) but I stand by my opinion that the op is a bit of a generalization about women. He is entitled to his opinion though, of course.
I agree completely.
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NeverGG
United Kingdom5399 Posts
On August 02 2009 14:30 Dazed_Spy wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2009 14:03 NeverGG wrote:
Wow - way to make massive generalizations about women. *Some* men are just as bad in other ways when it comes to putting on a facade and pretending they're something they're not. Not all of them though - it's ridiculous to label 'most' women as fake (or genuine and yet less attractive.) It kind of makes you sound very judge-mental. Well I have two sisters and have therefore met many of their friends, and gotten close to them, and by *all* of their admissions, women put up twice the facade men do. Because of this, I think im a pretty good judge of character. So no I've never been bamboozled. I know when someone is putting on a fake voice to pretend their interested when their not, fake smiles, blah blah blah. Women are just like that. ESPECIALLY with other women. Edit: To clarify, I think everyone regardless of gender acts fake at least 50% of the time. When someone is of a more genuine character, they are usually characterized as assholes. Just how life is. But as I said...women do it more, especially with other women. I think its just that their more emotional than guys so they have [or feel they have to] to watch what they say more.
'Women are just like that.' There we go with the generalizations again. I know that there are actually unconscious elements to the way in which people change their behavior based upon social situations. For example 'code-switching' dictates the style of language, accent and formality certain people will use when speaking to others (often dependent upon their relative status in relation to the other people/person or their nationality etc.)
For some people it is a conscious decision to put on a front, but to say things like 'Women are just like that.' makes me feel quite sad that *some* TL posters would judge a whole gender just because they know a small cross-section of the planet's female population.
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On August 02 2009 14:36 NeverGG wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2009 14:30 Dazed_Spy wrote:On August 02 2009 14:03 NeverGG wrote:
Wow - way to make massive generalizations about women. *Some* men are just as bad in other ways when it comes to putting on a facade and pretending they're something they're not. Not all of them though - it's ridiculous to label 'most' women as fake (or genuine and yet less attractive.) It kind of makes you sound very judge-mental. Well I have two sisters and have therefore met many of their friends, and gotten close to them, and by *all* of their admissions, women put up twice the facade men do. Because of this, I think im a pretty good judge of character. So no I've never been bamboozled. I know when someone is putting on a fake voice to pretend their interested when their not, fake smiles, blah blah blah. Women are just like that. ESPECIALLY with other women. Edit: To clarify, I think everyone regardless of gender acts fake at least 50% of the time. When someone is of a more genuine character, they are usually characterized as assholes. Just how life is. But as I said...women do it more, especially with other women. I think its just that their more emotional than guys so they have [or feel they have to] to watch what they say more. 'Women are just like that.' There we go with the generalizations again. I know that there are actually unconscious elements to the way in which people change their behavior based upon social situations. For example 'code-switching' dictates the style of language, accent and formality certain people will use when speaking to others (often dependent upon their relative status in relation to the other people/person or their nationality etc.) For some people it is a conscious decision to put on a front, but to say things like 'Women are just like that.' makes me feel quite sad that *some* TL posters would judge a whole gender just because they know a small cross-section of the planet's female population. Well I also judged the entirety of humanity in my 2nd paragraph, and I don't see you jumping to defend us, do I? And I'm sorry, generalizations are often accurate. For example, one generalization> cat fights are brutal. You fucking bet they are. I havent seen one cat fight in my school where a girls face was not bashed against the ground several times, before more girls came to kick her head in for a few minutes straight. You CAN judge accurately a large cross section of the population by looking at a few. Thats what statistics are about. Obviously I cant do it, I don't have the means at my disposal [or the technical know how] but I'm sure theres been studies done on gender differences that happen to touch on the social aspect within the brain, which could accurately answer this. Hell theres probably been statistical analysis done.
All I'm saying is, generalizations are a requirement with the way you gauge human behaviour, for good or ill, and more often than not have a firm foundation in fact.
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Korea (South)11601 Posts
In today's world, since you we were all kids, if you were a boy you were told "stop crying, act like a man." or else you were made fun of, by being called either a pussy, a coward etc... Whereas women were never told to "stop crying and act like a woman". Instead it is a lot more open, where if a girl is crying everyone wants to make sure she's ok. If a boy is crying they think he needs to grow up.
Therefore, men have unconsciously masked their emotional side, and tried to act tough, where if you get punched in the face, you fight back, you don't cry. Women it's an entirely different story. This is a generalization, of course you will find manly women, and womenly men, however in the majority (95%+) men are raised to be tough, and women are allowed to be emotional.
Women rely a lot more on emotions and thus they are better at being empathetic. NeverGG I don't understand why you seem to argue against this.
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can we have some pics of hot bamboozley women to nudge this thread back on track before it becomes philosophical debate about validity of generalities?
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konadora
Singapore66365 Posts
Is there such a word called bamboozled?
Because I find the word funny and cute
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There is indeed such a word, kona.
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Women do put up fronts, but each front is varied and usually situational and thus, hard to make concrete generalizations about. For example, I have friends who:
1.) pretend to be properly disinterested in front of guys they like (hard-to-get front)
2.) act friendly in front of boys who they're disgusted by (I-just-want-to-be-nice front)
3.) act friendly in front of girls they despise (I-just-want-to-be-nice front again, adapted)
4.) flirt with guys they're disinterested in (l-want-to-know-I'm-wanted front)
5.) act innocent/pure when they secretly have needs like everyone else (societal-pressure front)
You'd probably think all of these pretenses are morally reprehensible, but it's a necessity in the girl world. You can't just come out and say as a girl to another girl, "I find your voice, hairstyle, and personality utterly repulsive," and you can't just admit your feelings to a guy. Everything has to be indirect.
With guys, the commonly accepted view is that males = more direct = say what's on their mind. While that's cool and straightforward and everything, it's not necessarily better or worse than the female mentality. Some things should be left unsaid or at most said indirectly. I'm pretty sure most of you have subconsciously discovered this while talking to your girlfriends like guyfriends and getting slaps or tears.
Being upset that a girl's not actually "innocent/sweet," however, is one of my pet peeves. It's almost like guys just want personality-less, virtuous dolls -_-;; which is why most girls act that way in the first place.
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South Africa4316 Posts
On August 02 2009 14:30 Dazed_Spy wrote:
Edit: To clarify, I think everyone regardless of gender acts fake at least 50% of the time. When someone is of a more genuine character, they are usually characterized as assholes. Just how life is. But as I said...women do it more, especially with other women. I think its just that their more emotional than guys so they have [or feel they have to] to watch what they say more.
I really hate this view, and I see it popping up everywhere. People who are genuine characters and assholes are portrayed as assholes. People who are nice and genuine characters, are generally seen as nice people. Maybe it's something on the internet, where we get to do with assholes so often that we believe that everyone must be an asshole, or maybe it's a US/Canada thing, I don't know.
But seriously, I know lots of people very well (meaning I know their genuine character), and almost all of them are good people. In fact, the only two people who I know that are assholes, the asshole is only a facade, and they are actually damn nice people trying to look tough or cool. Like I said, it might be different in the US or Canada (I don't even mean this as an insult, different cultures train people to behave differently), where people distrust each other more often, and are less likely to be helpful or friendly to those they don't know. For example, there are times and places in South Africa where you can definitely find people faking it more often. College parties, clubs, even among younger students at university, where people feel forced to present themselves as something they aren't to be appealing. However, generally, if you get to know those people, they are also nice people, so even they aren't assholes putting on a face.
Seriously, when did people get so cynical?
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I want to be able to be myself around women, if they don't like the real me, f* them, that's why I want them to do the same, but you can never tell if they are "real or fake" from the beginning.
At least you found out and you're not fooled any longer. Luckily something like this has never happened to me. /keepingfingerscrossed
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I put on a different facade depending on who I'm talking to. There are times when you need to be calm and respectful, times when it would serve you better to be arrogant and condescending. It is human nature to modify your behavior depending on the situation.
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On August 02 2009 14:12 KP_CollectoR wrote:
I ended up clicking on this post so ultimately, yes I have been bamboozled.
Hahaha, very good.
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check out the effort put into the OP, trying to make a hardcore impression with strong Qs and punctuations, way to go
wash away the shame
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On August 02 2009 17:08 konadora wrote:
Is there such a word called bamboozled?
Because I find the word funny and cute
Indeed my friend, it means like "confused" or "tricked".
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5/5 cause I loved the word "bamboozled"
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On August 02 2009 18:50 Daigomi wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2009 14:30 Dazed_Spy wrote:
Edit: To clarify, I think everyone regardless of gender acts fake at least 50% of the time. When someone is of a more genuine character, they are usually characterized as assholes. Just how life is. But as I said...women do it more, especially with other women. I think its just that their more emotional than guys so they have [or feel they have to] to watch what they say more.
I really hate this view, and I see it popping up everywhere. People who are genuine characters and assholes are portrayed as assholes. People who are nice and genuine characters, are generally seen as nice people. Maybe it's something on the internet, where we get to do with assholes so often that we believe that everyone must be an asshole, or maybe it's a US/Canada thing, I don't know. But seriously, I know lots of people very well (meaning I know their genuine character), and almost all of them are good people. In fact, the only two people who I know that are assholes, the asshole is only a facade, and they are actually damn nice people trying to look tough or cool. Like I said, it might be different in the US or Canada (I don't even mean this as an insult, different cultures train people to behave differently), where people distrust each other more often, and are less likely to be helpful or friendly to those they don't know. For example, there are times and places in South Africa where you can definitely find people faking it more often. College parties, clubs, even among younger students at university, where people feel forced to present themselves as something they aren't to be appealing. However, generally, if you get to know those people, they are also nice people, so even they aren't assholes putting on a face. Seriously, when did people get so cynical? Well I don't mean it like that. I mean if someone is to be completely honest, they can come off as rude. Obviously if you get to know someone you will realize they aren't trying to be rude, or you have some people who can be tactful with their honesty. But generally yea, if someone made a poor joke and you get the honest response "that is not funny", and you don't know the person well, most people will take that harshly. In polite society you will be seen as an asshole because you aren't being fake in order to appear polite. In a more comfortable setting I don't think the same applies. But even then, everyone holds back some opinions on people.
COMPLETE truth in character and opinion just can not be done. I've been watching a lot of scrubs lately, and there was a character who kept reappearing who was sent to the hospital for being too frank. He wasnt doing it out of malicious intent, he was just being really, really brutally honest and he was getting his ass kicked for it. Thats probably a pretty accurate depiction if someone were to go that far lol.
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South Africa4316 Posts
On August 03 2009 04:28 Dazed_Spy wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2009 18:50 Daigomi wrote:On August 02 2009 14:30 Dazed_Spy wrote:
Edit: To clarify, I think everyone regardless of gender acts fake at least 50% of the time. When someone is of a more genuine character, they are usually characterized as assholes. Just how life is. But as I said...women do it more, especially with other women. I think its just that their more emotional than guys so they have [or feel they have to] to watch what they say more.
I really hate this view, and I see it popping up everywhere. People who are genuine characters and assholes are portrayed as assholes. People who are nice and genuine characters, are generally seen as nice people. Maybe it's something on the internet, where we get to do with assholes so often that we believe that everyone must be an asshole, or maybe it's a US/Canada thing, I don't know. But seriously, I know lots of people very well (meaning I know their genuine character), and almost all of them are good people. In fact, the only two people who I know that are assholes, the asshole is only a facade, and they are actually damn nice people trying to look tough or cool. Like I said, it might be different in the US or Canada (I don't even mean this as an insult, different cultures train people to behave differently), where people distrust each other more often, and are less likely to be helpful or friendly to those they don't know. For example, there are times and places in South Africa where you can definitely find people faking it more often. College parties, clubs, even among younger students at university, where people feel forced to present themselves as something they aren't to be appealing. However, generally, if you get to know those people, they are also nice people, so even they aren't assholes putting on a face. Seriously, when did people get so cynical? Well I don't mean it like that. I mean if someone is to be completely honest, they can come off as rude. Obviously if you get to know someone you will realize they aren't trying to be rude, or you have some people who can be tactful with their honesty. But generally yea, if someone made a poor joke and you get the honest response "that is not funny", and you don't know the person well, most people will take that harshly. In polite society you will be seen as an asshole because you aren't being fake in order to appear polite. In a more comfortable setting I don't think the same applies. But even then, everyone holds back some opinions on people. COMPLETE truth in character and opinion just can not be done. I've been watching a lot of scrubs lately, and there was a character who kept reappearing who was sent to the hospital for being too frank. He wasnt doing it out of malicious intent, he was just being really, really brutally honest and he was getting his ass kicked for it. Thats probably a pretty accurate depiction if someone were to go that far lol.
Well, holding back an opinion isn't quite the same as being fake. Even lying isn't the same as being fake. Perhaps it's just me, but I think fake people are people that try to present themselves as something they are not. Laughing at a joke that you don't think is that funny could still be a representation of yourself, if you are the kind of guy that prefers to spare other people's feelings. It's when you laugh at a joke that you don't think is funny just so that other people will like you, and you constantly do things like that to impress other people, that you start becoming fake.
So basically, I think you can have complete truth in character, or something very close to it at least. In fact, I hate those people that say "I don't mean to be an ass, I just like saying things the way they are." Never mincing your words and saying things the way they are "simply because" is pretty much the definition of an asshole. Sometimes it's good to be brutally honest, but most of the time, most people should hold back unnecessarily hurtful opinions, and doing so doesn't make them fake, it just makes them considerate.
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I can sum up all I know about women in 3 words:
not always so.
Let it sink in for a min or two.
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EPT
