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This is Bullshit

Blogs > D4EMON
Post a Reply
p4ge
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada160 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-10-16 20:24:15
July 29 2009 04:57 GMT
#1


Dear Professor xxxxxx
Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat Bone Meat


paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-07-29 05:04:15
July 29 2009 05:03 GMT
#2
what an idiot professor for calling the final draft a rough draft

but wasn't it clear from the beginning you'd only get +4% more?
Hates Fun🤔
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24745 Posts
July 29 2009 05:05 GMT
#3
Jesus Christ Daemon. Put yourself in the shoes of your Professor.

Don't worry, I've had many professors that have done dumb things like this in the past.
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
SonuvBob
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Aiur21550 Posts
July 29 2009 05:07 GMT
#4
Please be more concise. That entire e-mail could've been a single short paragraph. If you must make it that long, separate it into multiple paragraphs.

I request that you give me the opportunity to make the choice to pass over the opportunity to adjust my essay with the feedback you have generously arranged for us to have, and to thereby accept the consequences of handing in an essay that I will have given my full effort towards—albeit an effort which has not had the benefit of your feedback—and to accept whatever mark I am given.

This is a ridiculous run-on sentence. Rewrite it.

Your initial statement (before the e-mail) is easy to follow, but the e-mail itself is seriously convoluted. I'd advise rewriting the entire e-mail from scratch, though I can't give you more than another 4% for it.

72%

-Professor SonuvBob
Administrator
p4ge
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada160 Posts
July 29 2009 05:08 GMT
#5
On July 29 2009 14:03 paper wrote:
what an idiot professor for calling the final draft a rough draft

but wasn't it clear from the beginning you'd only get +4% more?

it wasn't clear that we'd only get around 4-7% more.
Etherone
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States1898 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-07-29 05:15:22
July 29 2009 05:11 GMT
#6
I can't believe you thought this would in any way shape or form help your situation.

edit: out of curiosity, what was the topic of the essay you had to make a rough draft for?
Kennigit *
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Canada19447 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-07-29 05:14:49
July 29 2009 05:12 GMT
#7
Is your prof Moltke?
Kinky
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States4126 Posts
July 29 2009 05:15 GMT
#8
I found your letter extremely hard to follow, but I wish you luck in your efforts.
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24745 Posts
July 29 2009 05:16 GMT
#9
When the establishment is really pissing you off, remember that happiness and laughter lead to longevity! I refer you to my recent bowling blog.
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
p4ge
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada160 Posts
July 29 2009 05:20 GMT
#10
hm yeah. good point, i'm gonna change it to make it sound less contracty
p4ge
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada160 Posts
July 29 2009 05:23 GMT
#11
ok what about this

I talked to you earlier about my essay. I wanted to mention that I misunderstood how you were going to grade the essays. I didn’t know the rough draft essay was going to have a significant bearing on the final mark of my essay. I ended up submitting an essay that was more of a rough outline rather than something that I gave my fullest effort on. I thought the whole process was going to be more of a way to get some suggestions in order to give me a better direction on how to finish it up. I had the intention of revising a lot of it even by myself before any of your feedback. I didn’t know that what I submitted would contribute towards my final mark. I would really like the opportunity to get a good shot at a good mark, I didn’t feel that the essay I wrote was the best work I could have produced; again, I approached it like it was a rough outline rather than writing it as a final product, there are a lot of holes that I saw even before I submitted it, I just didn’t make the time to fill up those holes because I didn’t think it was going to be a problem. Is it alright if I submit an essay to you on Thursday for you to mark, I’m okay with not having the benefit of your feedback for my final essay, I just don’t want my mark to be limited by my initial lacklustre submission.
Thanks for your consideration,

how's that?
Jibba
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States22883 Posts
July 29 2009 05:25 GMT
#12
I hope your essay has more paragraphs than that letter. o.o

I agree that the professor's system is pretty dumb though. Usually rough drafts grades are tiny or non-existant (or just based on completion) and the weight goes on the final.
ModeratorNow I'm distant, dark in this anthrobeat
Etherone
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States1898 Posts
July 29 2009 05:26 GMT
#13
much better, although i am sure you could improve on it yourself, this is the right direction.
MannerMan
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
371 Posts
July 29 2009 05:34 GMT
#14
I don't go to school in Canada and I don't know how it is there, but here if it was a very large class (300-800 people) the Professor wouldn't change anything, but if it was small (<50) there would be a very good chance sending an email explaining the situation would at least have the Professor offer an average of the old grade and the new one or something.
p4ge
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada160 Posts
July 29 2009 05:35 GMT
#15
alright thanks guys. i'm gonna submit the revised version. the reason i submitted it here was becasue I sensed something might have been wrong in my initial letter, I just wanted to double check that, and it turns out there was.
ForTheSwarm
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States556 Posts
July 29 2009 05:36 GMT
#16
On July 29 2009 14:07 SonuvBob wrote:
Please be more concise. That entire e-mail could've been a single short paragraph. If you must make it that long, separate it into multiple paragraphs.

Show nested quote +
I request that you give me the opportunity to make the choice to pass over the opportunity to adjust my essay with the feedback you have generously arranged for us to have, and to thereby accept the consequences of handing in an essay that I will have given my full effort towards—albeit an effort which has not had the benefit of your feedback—and to accept whatever mark I am given.

This is a ridiculous run-on sentence. Rewrite it.

Your initial statement (before the e-mail) is easy to follow, but the e-mail itself is seriously convoluted. I'd advise rewriting the entire e-mail from scratch, though I can't give you more than another 4% for it.

72%

-Professor SonuvBob


I agree, shorten the email. You're trying to state that your essay could have been better, but if your email is a bunch of wordy convoluted sentences, I can't imagine he'll believe you on the essay.
Whenever I see a dropship, my asshole tingles, because it knows whats coming... - TheAntZ
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24745 Posts
July 29 2009 05:48 GMT
#17
If you haven't submitted yet, I suggest you try to shorten it a bit while getting the same meaning across. But the tone is definitely better.
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
benjammin
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States2728 Posts
July 29 2009 05:56 GMT
#18
i'd advise using the 'four sentence rule' for emails to professors, as they are likely much busier than you are


also LOL at this grading scheme, he should just make the revised essay the entire grade (i thought this was standard if you are allowing someone to write a draft?)
wash uffitizi, drive me to firenze
MiniRoman
Profile Blog Joined September 2003
Canada3953 Posts
July 29 2009 06:04 GMT
#19
COMMMMMMMAAAAA SPLICE PACHA!

I used to try to write in huge sentences with a bunch of hyphens and commas but its usually so sloppy and hard to elaborate on properly. Making shorter sentences the the introduction of an idea then an explanation can fill up more space when trying to hit a page number and can be much easier to follow. It's about the words~
Nak Allstar.
Physician *
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States4146 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-07-29 06:46:23
July 29 2009 06:45 GMT
#20
better still, with the letter, submit ur final version of ur best attempt
proof u tried, if he don't giv, u did ur best regardless
"I have beheld the births of negative-suns and borne witness to the entropy of entire realities...."
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