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+ Show Spoiler +On June 23 2009 23:06 LaLuSh wrote:
Tell her your favorite book is Brothers Karamazov by Dostoevsky.
Ask her to read it. Make sure she finishes it.
If she still hasn't softened up and/or reevaluated her position... you wouldn't wanna be with her anyway. She's a fundamentalist nut. It'd never work out.
I'm serious. If there's one book aside from the bible that could do the trick, I'd place my bets with that one. Thats a pretty good idea, never thought on dostoevsky before when into this problem, thanks.
Let me talk about my experience on this.
I am a complete atheist activist. I believe that religion is a way to control primitive people in a primitive culture. I think that art should make us free from the boundaries of any religion. There are some religion that are insane on the level of control. And i think we should get free of it.
My first close girlfriend was a really christian girl. She was from some congregation, catecumenos in spanish, so we can tell she was a real fanatic. We didnt stop from doing anything anyway. We were together for a long time, and i was really happy. We actually lived together for something like 1 year. But finally she dump me, for "my lack of faith". Thats completely a lie, actually she started to fuck again with me (she was maried for 1 year like 4 years before i met her, she got maried when she was 18 and divorced on 19, when i met her she was 23,i was 21) and she was hot for some guy in her congregation... but, then i understood. She couldnt have any projection with me. I wouldnt accept ever she taking our kids to church, she wouldnt accept my talking about pedofiles priest in front of them. I discover after some years that we could never have a family together. And i really want to have that in my life. But i loved here much, and i am sure, she loved me back. Sometimes we talk, and we are good friends. She is still alone, cuse she is SOOO religious... hope some day she found a guy in here way.
My actual girlfriend is lutheran... she is from northern europe and that is really common there. But after something like a year together she is much more open to everything than before. She started to question things like authority and order, is just because she is younger and inexperienced. I think that if she never came to latinamerica she would be such a different person that the one she is. Now she have own thoughts and own ideas, and more important, now she reads and get her own opinion. We still have some issues to talk about on that, most of them are about what do we expect when raising childs...
What i am trying to say... is that finally the decision is on you, but be aware that most of the cases u can still have a really good time. To lose someone just because of that is primitive, ignorant and really stupid, but to fight the rest of your live for what to tell or not to tell to your children isnt smart at all. Things never are black and white.
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It just depends on how devout of a Christian she is. Sometimes it'll end up being a huge problem, but it also can end up not being too much of an issue as well.
For example, my current gf is a Christian, yet we are still together despite the fact that I only mention religion to make fun of it. (Not in front of her of course)
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fag :p
off course i never lose a chance to make fun of religion in front of my gf, in front of the first too, i need to wake her up, she need to realize that religion IS NOT IMPORTANT in life.
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On June 24 2009 04:25 coltrane wrote:
fag :p
off course i never lose a chance to make fun of religion in front of my gf, in front of the first too, i need to wake her up, she need to realize that religion IS NOT IMPORTANT in life.
This is pretty much a post I don't think you should listen to if you decide to stay with her. It seems to me that recently I've met just as many intolerant atheists as I have Christians. I'm really frustrated with both of the intolerant portions of these groups. (I guess you could say I'm intolerant of intolerance  )
Some people think differently than you. If she can respect that you think differently than her and wants to work on the relationship, then perhaps you should try to work it out by respecting her differences as well.
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Here's a win-win situation for you.
First you tell her you converted to Christianity.
Then just fuck her and move on.
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A person's belief shouldn't be a deciding factor in a relationship or friendship. Ever saw the South Park episode "All About the Mormons?"? Here's a quote from it: + Show Spoiler +"All I ever did was try to be your friend, Stan, but you're so high and mighty you couldn't look past my religion and just be my friend back. You've got a lot of growing up to do, buddy. Suck my balls."
On June 23 2009 23:04 duckett wrote:
I mean, I'm an undecided as well and while I believe in God, I don't believe in a lot of associated aspects. However, my parents are devout Christians, and pretty old. I really don't want to make a violent break from the Church because my faith is so undecided and all I would be doing is making my parents hate me. Perhaps this reflects a flaw in my parents but hey, people have flaws, and sometimes you have to live with them (and enjoy it for other reasons).
I'm in the same boat as you except my parents are devoted Catholics. I'm glad I don't have to deal with this during the fall and spring semester; winter and summer breaks is a different story.
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maybe its just cause i'm a christian -sound of mouse wheels scrolling to next post-, but i feel like there's a middle ground here between "move on, its not worth it" and "convert to keep her"
you call yourself a 'tentative' deist, why not explore christianity? at my uni there are TONNES of oppurtunities for people to meet christians, ask questions and generally learn what it's all about (as most people don't know as much as they'd think about it!)
if you're even considering converting for her, she clearly means enough to you that you could make this effort, which doesn't involve lieing to anyone, agreeing to anything you don't want to or making rash decisions.
btw, i think from this thread so far we can see that christian+non-christian relationships are a bad idea!
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Am I the only one who doesn't quite believe the story?
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On June 24 2009 04:57 kerpal wrote:
maybe its just cause i'm a christian -sound of mouse wheels scrolling to next post-, but i feel like there's a middle ground here between "move on, its not worth it" and "convert to keep her"
you call yourself a 'tentative' deist, why not explore christianity? at my uni there are TONNES of oppurtunities for people to meet christians, ask questions and generally learn what it's all about (as most people don't know as much as they'd think about it!)
if you're even considering converting for her, she clearly means enough to you that you could make this effort, which doesn't involve lieing to anyone, agreeing to anything you don't want to or making rash decisions.
btw, i think from this thread so far we can see that christian+non-christian relationships are a bad idea!
I like this post.
Going to church with her does not mean you've "Accepted" Christianity. It's not a yes or no decision. You can explain to her that you're willing to be open minded towards it and attend church with her and see things for yourself, but that you can't promise you'll convert. She'll respect your open mindedness aswell as your own self-loyalty.
Seriously, it's not scary. You just keep an open mind. Also, it would give you a lot of insight into what she believes and who she is, just by listening to the service.
Problem solved? You don't _have_ to be on either extreme side. There's no weakness on having not yet formed a solid decision on what you believe. I think if anything, keeping an open mind and hearing things out gives you perspective that others may lack.
edit:
On June 24 2009 05:02 MoltkeWarding wrote:
Am I the only one who doesn't quite believe the story?
I've considered that aswell. Especially with an opening line like that.
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On June 23 2009 23:40 searcher wrote:
If she's not going to have a relationship because she can't accept your religious views, she's not worth it.
Agreed. This falls in the category of " I really like this guy/girl, but I don't want to be with him becouse he/she <insert stupidity here>.". -_-
If you can't accept each other's different views and values on something, it's pretty hard to have a good relationship.
I mean, that's what relationships are about, accepting each other's "defects" - accepting them for who they are, not trying to skew them to your view of how things should be (at least not by force or intentionally). Love/relationships are about enjoying/emphasizing on the "good" in people, not concentrating and bitching on the "bad sides".
Ofc, it's good to show some understanding to the other side, have an open mind, but not going totally against your principles.
Bad way of trying to convince her (imo) - quasi-logic: "God gave men Reasoning and the teachings. It is we who, with our god-given Reason, accept or refuse believing. And it is you who must understand that if God did not want to impose either, why should you? Who are you to impose what God himself did not want to impose! Then again, it is your free will to impose it, by the same principle - as is mine to not believe." QED.
Better way:
Try to ask her why does she really like it so much and see if you can find an analogy in your Deist/Atheist view to connect to that - if anything, it will either help you two better understand each other's view and maybe accept it to some bearable level, or make you understand better that you're not fit for each other, easing the breakup. (Although I assume you already did this... but try it with a little more opened mind, and try to open her mind too, but non-invasively.)
You could even tell her you would want to go to the church to see how it is, and then decide if you like it or not - I mean it's not so bad to, from time to time, do something that makes the other happy, or at least trying to see if it works for you at some level.
Edit: Hahaha by the time I was writing this, someone already posted similar things. I love it.
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On June 24 2009 04:14 coltrane wrote:[spoiler] Show nested quote +On June 23 2009 23:06 LaLuSh wrote:
Tell her your favorite book is Brothers Karamazov by Dostoevsky.
Ask her to read it. Make sure she finishes it.
If she still hasn't softened up and/or reevaluated her position... you wouldn't wanna be with her anyway. She's a fundamentalist nut. It'd never work out.
I'm serious. If there's one book aside from the bible that could do the trick, I'd place my bets with that one. I wouldnt accept ever she taking our kids to church, she wouldnt accept my talking about pedofiles priest in front of them.
Why would you care if she took your kids to church? And it's not like all priests are pedophiles.
There's nothing wrong with taking kids to church. There's FAR worse things they could be doing. The vast majority of the things you learn in church are good.
I am totally non-religion. I understand it's nonsense. But I also understand that it helps the human mind cope with problems and if you can accept it can enhance your life.
All humans hold delusions that aren't true, mostly about their importance and their abilities. If not you're usually depressed.
So your kids will end up with the good moral values and the community of Church. In current society there isn't much of an alternative to that.
I'd rather my kids went to church than solve their problems through drugs and other dangerous things like I did.
In time the human race will realise religion is bullshit but it's going to take a long time. If you spend your life trying to change everything you just end up pissed off.
Edit: On that note i'm a motherfucking mutalisk YEAH BABY!
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Why not try out going to her church first...?
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On June 24 2009 05:26 BanZu wrote:
Why not try out going to her church first...?
Trust me, there's nothing worse than Church if you're strongly against religion. It's horribly painful.
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Uh, what denomination is she?
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On June 24 2009 05:32 Klive5ive wrote:Show nested quote +On June 24 2009 05:26 BanZu wrote:
Why not try out going to her church first...? Trust me, there's nothing worse than Church if you're strongly against religion. It's horribly painful.
It depends on the service. I could easily listen to a preacher talk about the Bible for an hour, but I can't fucking stand the new age evangelical service that is just one big shitty Christian-rock singalong.
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On June 24 2009 05:45 Mindcrime wrote:Show nested quote +On June 24 2009 05:32 Klive5ive wrote:On June 24 2009 05:26 BanZu wrote:
Why not try out going to her church first...? Trust me, there's nothing worse than Church if you're strongly against religion. It's horribly painful. It depends on the service. I could easily listen to a preacher talk about the Bible for an hour, but I can't fucking stand the new age evangelical service that is just one big shitty Christian-rock singalong.
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On June 24 2009 05:45 Mindcrime wrote:Show nested quote +On June 24 2009 05:32 Klive5ive wrote:On June 24 2009 05:26 BanZu wrote:
Why not try out going to her church first...? Trust me, there's nothing worse than Church if you're strongly against religion. It's horribly painful. It depends on the service. I could easily listen to a preacher talk about the Bible for an hour, but I can't fucking stand the new age evangelical service that is just one big shitty Christian-rock singalong.
I have found 95% of services to be just horrible to stand in.
My Grandfather died and as much as I got along with the guy I found the entire church service they had for his funeral just about down right appaling. These priests talking about a guy they didn't even know.
It pissed me off frankly.
Now of course a regular church service won't be a FUNERAL but if you have any doubts on religion a lot of what you hear in a service will just make you go "WTF"
OP... you don't fall in love in 8 days. You are either lusting hard core or you have lead a particularly lonely life before hand. If you convert for her, you will be a very sad man in about a year.
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I never really understood the whole converting for someone else business. Sure, you can force yourself to go through all the motions, but if you don't actually believe any of the underlying material, what's the point?
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If you can accept that she thinks you're going to hell, I say go for it!
On June 24 2009 05:02 MoltkeWarding wrote:
Am I the only one who doesn't quite believe the story?
Nope. The facts don't add up. "I'm not a naive teenager, but I'm totally in love with this girl I met last week; but she's Christian!" It's just contradictory.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c54/always_loyal_to_enrique/faith1.jpg)
