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Okay, so I was just talking to my friend about this, and I think it's really interesting, maybe no one else will. Should I ask my ex-gf if she cheated on me? As of now, there is little reason to ask her. She broke up with me a few days after Valentine's day (after dating for seven months, or so), and I think this weekend I'm going to get my stuff back from her (fucking finally).
It was a semi-long distance relationship (40 miles, approx). And she had a lot of male friends. Now, if there's something I know about men, it's that we hang out with women to have sex, not because they're fun to be with (because they generally aren't, imo). And there was some other things I found suspicious a few times. I mean, she claimed she loved me, etc, etc (why'd she break up with me then, right?)
Whatever. Long story short, I think I'm getting my shit back next weekend, and I'm considering asking her if she ever cheated on me (because I had a slight suspicion that she did). I really want to know, just for the sake of the knowledge, but--and this is why I'm asking here, because this is what makes this interesting to me--she's never said no in my head. I've played out the scenario, and asked in about a hundred different ways, and she always says no, and gets kind of mad at me for even suggesting it. BUT, what if she said yes? Would that knowledge be worth the potential pain it would cause (i.e. the relationship never meant anything to her, and I really wasted my time)? Would it hurt at all to know this?
Maybe this is a lame blog, but if you could answer the poll, and if anyone has experience with this, chime in, that'd be fantastic.
Poll: Should I ask her?
(Vote): Yes
(Vote): No
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On April 13 2009 14:14 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:
Now, if there's something I know about men, it's that we hang out with women to have sex, not because they're fun to be with (because they generally aren't, imo).
hahaha love it. qft
i would say ignorance is bliss for this situation. unless you think you can handle the possibility of her saying yes
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On April 13 2009 14:18 TommyG wrote:Show nested quote +On April 13 2009 14:14 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:
Now, if there's something I know about men, it's that we hang out with women to have sex, not because they're fun to be with (because they generally aren't, imo).
hahaha love it. qft i would say ignorance is bliss for this situation. unless you think you can handle the possibility of her saying yes
I think I can. But even if I can't. I'm really interested in what knowing that way after the relationship has ended might do to the psychology of a person. Idk if this has been studied already or not, but I'm really just interested in this in a somewhat scientific way.
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is awesome32282 Posts
If you want to forget her and move on, asking her this is a step in the wrong direction. By the looks of it, it would only make you angry.
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On April 13 2009 14:19 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:Show nested quote +On April 13 2009 14:18 TommyG wrote:On April 13 2009 14:14 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:
Now, if there's something I know about men, it's that we hang out with women to have sex, not because they're fun to be with (because they generally aren't, imo).
hahaha love it. qft i would say ignorance is bliss for this situation. unless you think you can handle the possibility of her saying yes I think I can. But even if I can't. I'm really interested in what knowing that way after the relationship has ended might do to the psychology of a person. Idk if this has been studied already or not, but I'm really just interested in this in a somewhat scientific way.
I wouldn't try to stay objective or pretend to be objective.
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On April 13 2009 14:22 fight_or_flight wrote:Show nested quote +On April 13 2009 14:19 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:On April 13 2009 14:18 TommyG wrote:On April 13 2009 14:14 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:
Now, if there's something I know about men, it's that we hang out with women to have sex, not because they're fun to be with (because they generally aren't, imo).
hahaha love it. qft i would say ignorance is bliss for this situation. unless you think you can handle the possibility of her saying yes I think I can. But even if I can't. I'm really interested in what knowing that way after the relationship has ended might do to the psychology of a person. Idk if this has been studied already or not, but I'm really just interested in this in a somewhat scientific way. I wouldn't try to stay objective or pretend to be objective.
Look, honestly, I'm really just interested in getting my book/clothes back at this point.
Idk, from the looks of it, it was stupid to consider this at all, but I never even considered that she may say yes before my friend brought that possibility up.
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well just make sure you have your stuff in your possession before you ask her anything
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you'll find your answer in a few weeks anyway when you find out she's in a new relationship
just wait it out ;s
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I went thrrough this a after my birthday ( two days after v-day lol). I would not ask, because my ex hooked up with her best friend, a guy. But what i dont get is that she dated him before and he basically used her, then she goes around and gets with after me :O. ok ok all in all i would nto ask her, because you want to know right now but if she does say yes then it will tear you apart formthe inside..... NO!
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On April 13 2009 14:14 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:
(i.e. the relationship never meant anything to her, and I really wasted my time)?
Man.. if girls are driven by anything, it's their emotions, a girl will never give you the time of day or go out with you unless she's attracted to you. But that does't mean she won't lose attraction and start liking someone else if you don't put in the effort. Even if she didn't cheat on you she probably had someone else in mind. I'd say it was the long distance thing.
Anyway think about this if you're going to ask, maybe you turned her into a lesbian and she now prefers to munch rug, that is something you self esteem will be able to take? lol.
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It'll probably start a fight and you will most likely end up pissed off somehow. Girls will say something to piss you off if you ask them a thing like that. Either they did and they say ya or they didn't and get bitchy cause you asked.
I didn't vote but I guess you could. I wouldn't unless you really needed to know.
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United States4991 Posts
I guess I'll be in the minority here, but I'll say do ask her. I've been in a similar situation and lost the opportunity to ask, and now I always wonder. Just satiate your curiosity.
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Don't ask her, If you love her and she loves you then you don't want to know if she cheated on you.
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At first I was going to say yes, but I decided to vote no because if she says yes then you might lose your trust in woman. If she fucked another man, why wont your next gf??
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dont be obsessive. just move on with your life.
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United States4991 Posts
On April 13 2009 15:46 nttea wrote:
Don't ask her, If you love her and she loves you then you don't want to know if she cheated on you.
??? They broke up, lol.
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EPT
