ask her, its over anyways, you already wasted your time, either you get a yes and move on completely, or she says no and you ask her why the hell she broke up with you

cgrinker

United States3824 Posts

April 13 2009 07:18 GMT

#25

Do it and report back

Also, pics or it didn't happen

{CC}StealthBlue

United States41117 Posts

April 13 2009 07:19 GMT

#26

On April 13 2009 14:17 yubee wrote:
not worth it

PriitM

Algeria181 Posts

April 13 2009 07:20 GMT

#27

--- Nuked ---

thunk

United States6233 Posts

April 13 2009 07:27 GMT

#28

I've played out the scenario, and asked in about a hundred different ways, and she always says no, and gets kind of mad at me for even suggesting it.

If you can't imagine her ever saying yes with no negative repercussions, regardless of what the truth is, you're right. You're probably better off not asking.

Railxp

Hong Kong1313 Posts

April 13 2009 08:02 GMT

#29

HOW you ask is much more important question. considering you're posting about it, i'd guess that you already want to ask. since its a touchy question and potentially explosive/flamebait, you would have to do a lot of prepping and tiptoeing @_@

Geo.Rion

7377 Posts

April 13 2009 08:07 GMT

#30

On April 13 2009 14:14 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:
And she had a lot of male friends. Now, if there's something I know about men, it's that we hang out with women to have sex, not because they're fun to be with (because they generally aren't, imo).

I'm really sorry for you if you think/feel like this, i have some female friends and i wouldnt have sex with them, no matter what, and yes, it's fun to be with them.

about the poll, if you want to make her feel bad, than yes, if you dont care, dont want to hurt her than no. regardeless of the possbile answer, in my opinion.

iSCOUT4u

United States327 Posts

April 13 2009 08:14 GMT

#31

Ask her...

trade kobe

Brett

Australia3822 Posts

April 13 2009 08:29 GMT

#32

Let me save you the trouble: The answer is yes, she bounced on someone else's pogo stick.

Now get the fuck over it.

Grobyc

Canada18410 Posts

April 13 2009 08:51 GMT

#33

I would ask her, but not to find a reason to hate her more or anything, to try to find out why. If she just did it because of the thrill or something, then sure she is a bitch, but if he was doing it because she actually liked another guy more of something I would want to know what I did wrong.

It's just like SC! Watch your replays to fix your mistakes and learn!

Brett

Australia3822 Posts

April 13 2009 09:13 GMT

#34

Oh awesome, more fucking BW analogies. Brilliant.

Gryffindor_us

United States5606 Posts

April 13 2009 09:25 GMT

#35

Well, the problem with this is that if she confirms your suspicion it will set a bad precedent for future relationships. Imagine down the line you're in a relationship with someone who's worth it and they do something suspicious and because you were correct in this situation you decide your intuition is 100% and say or do something stupid when you've got a keeper. Every time you have any suspicion (regardless of logic) you will unconsciously harken back to the emotions surrounding this event and it will not help. I guess being confident in your intuition isn't a bad thing but this just does not seem to have any positive outcome.

Also, you've admitted in the past that you get pretty angry so I really doubt you're going to come out of this with a cheery attitude if she does admit to cheating but holy shit that's a whole lot of wasted emotion. I really doubt it would have the cathartic effect you'd need for it to be worth it and it would probably end up hurting you more than helping.

And to the idea of asking her what you did wrong that's a mixed bag. If you actually trust this woman (it doesn't seem like it) and value her opinion (hard to value the opinion of someone you mistrust) then sure ask what you did wrong. Really though if she were important enough in the scheme of things then she would have been much more open to discussing why she was breaking up with you in the first place. So in this case I wouldn't ask her where you "went wrong" because you don't trust her and it doesn't seem like her opinion would be that helpful especially considering if she prefaced it by saying that she didn't cheat because you'd almost certainly still doubt her.

Also, I know two people who were in a similar situation. One believed the other cheated and confronted them. The other said no and vehemently denies it to this day but the first doesn't believe it. It will probably never be resolved because no matter what the first person will never quell their suspicion. It will do you no good because you will get absolutely no closure even if she admits it! So in summary: Why the fuck should you care if someone who is unimportant in the grand scheme of your life cheated on you?

hymn

Bulgaria832 Posts

April 13 2009 09:29 GMT

#36

On April 13 2009 14:14 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:
Maybe this is a lame blog, but if you could answer the poll, and if anyone has experience with this, chime in, that'd be fantastic.

I've had similar experience. When me and and my ex broke up it was after a period of time where things gradually went downhill in a time span of 3 months. We met and we talked and we decided that it's best to quit it. In the last three months I was sure she was having sex with some guy. I know this because when you're with a girl for three years you get to know her preferences. From what she told me about this other guy I could see myself at the beginning of our relationship. Having read her phone messages one night didn't hurt either, lol. But I never brought it up, I never asked. I had my reasons:
1 - I wanted to keep her as a friend cause she is a very nice human being.
2 - I didn't want to ashame her if she admitted and I was sure she'd admit cause she hated lying openly.
3 - I learned that's it's best for my mentality not to ask questions whose answers I might not like. That was such a question.
4 - As I was banging with another girl too and I was sure she suspects I didn't want to explain too.

funkie

Venezuela9376 Posts

April 13 2009 10:13 GMT

#37

If you don't give a fuck, then yes ask her hahaha :D

SweeTLemonS[TPR]

11739 Posts

April 14 2009 07:30 GMT

#38

I don't know if anyone actually cares or not. I haven't gotten my shit back, but I'm nearly 100% sure she was fucking someone behind my back at this point. She just went to visit her friend in another state, left her baby (yeah, she had a kid, I don't think I mentioned that in the OP. That made this a lot harder, but whatever), and she went with the guy that I thought she may have been messing around on me with. I'm gonna ask her now, because I'm so sure of it, and it really can't make anything worse. Btw, it did make things worse.