Again, i had a bloody dream about my ex-gf (not lilah, the one before). It kinda drives me insane because i just cant let her go, even if its like 2 years since we broke up.
Anyway, i had a dream i'd like to share it with you, maybe i'll help myself writing it as well:
I dont know where the dream starts but i recall some parts of it.
I remember a part where we were in an auditorium at school i believe, it was when we were graduating from high school. I remember the subject of my dreams (Nora) was sitting just right beside me. She was telling me things but i was like "LEAVE ME ALONE". Even then i switched chairs, but she followed me. I switched again, but with no success, she kept following me. Finally i started yelling at her and the whole auditorium was looking at me. I dont quite remember but i think she was telling me she loves me or something, but i even yelled on purpouse to get banned from the auditorium to escape from her.
Another part is that we were in the pool, she, her current bf (an ex-friend of mine) and me. Again, she started following me in the pool, and i still tried to get away, but with no success. Even then, i warned her that i would kiss her if she didnt stop following me. She didnt and i grab her by the waist, turn her around and kiss her passionately. Even when i knew it would bring me LOOOOTS of trouble after. She didnt even care though.
Another part we were in my high school, i was walking through and i see her and her bf coming in my direction (this must've happened after the dream, because i remember i was sensing rage against me). I and them walked by but i sensed a huge rage feeling towards me, obviously from the bf. And i felt indifference from her. It was so confusing.
anyway i think i have made some links in the dream though; the pool thing and that she's following me everywhere i think it is somehow related to the prom trip, i remember a good friend of mine liked her a lot, but she dismissed him often and follow me elsewhere, this often happened in the pool.
Nora obviously represents herself, my "need" to have her (twisted huh)
The kiss i think it represent a really strong wish of mine to be with her again, i guess i must have released tons of endorphines around her lol.
the bf, let's call him aldo, represents the barrier and obstacles for me to reach her again, like it's impossible.
Me trying to make her go away might represent two things: first, im trying to avoid any problem i might run into if i try to win her back. but it might also represent a strong fear of rejection from her.
i still dont know what the auditorium and my highschool mean yet, but maybe ill find out soon enough.
I hope you enjoyed the blog, might do a joke or two no problem, i think this was more to help myself. Anyway people, WOMAN ARE A BLOODY MESS.