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This is my first time to write a blog ever so please excuse my writing skills and grammar. I just need an outlet for all my frustrations.
Recently, I've lost my interest in finishing my studies. When a professor humiliated me in front of so many people because of my "6th grade drawing and design", I told my self, this is it...I quit. I am already 21 years old and in my 3rd year taking up BS Architecture(a 5-year course) in the most prestigious Catholic university in the Philippines(clue: founded 1611). But architecture is actually not the first course I've enrolled. After high school I enrolled in a pre-med course but after 3 years I shifted to archi because I've realized that I have no intentions in taking up medicine and I also thought that archi is an easier course, but I was dead wrong. They were right about "the college that never sleeps" slogan. And now I'm already 6 YEARS IN THIS UNIVERSITY never finishing anything. Yeah wtf.
Concerning my lost of interest in my studies, I think my insecurities are to blame. I don't have any real friends in my classes because I feel like I don't belong to them anymore. They are at least 2-3 years younger than me. I also never had confidence in talking in front of class or defending/explaining my designs in front of so many people(I swear they can hear my heart beating louder than my trembling voice) because of my inborn stage fright. I'm also insecure about my height at 173-175cm, which is not so bad, but in my class it happened that I'm one of the shortest guys. I'm not a particularly a bad looking guy, some friends say I resemble taiwanese actor wu chun, and I can say my mathematical skills are above average(we have a lot of subjects that requires math in architecture), but the problem is that I tend to magnify all the negative sides of my personality. It seems like I can never boost my confidence whatever I do or achieve. I guess finishing college was never really meant to happen for me.
So here I am right now sitting in front of my computer 12+ hours a day, playing iccup on a negative win rate, stalking my high school friends' facebook accounts checking on how well they are doing at their office jobs, med school or taking up masters degree. And yeah. I've already incurred more than 2 weeks of absences so there's no coming back to school for me. I'm so ggéd.
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On December 19 2008 14:41 Lamborsche wrote:
So here I am right now sitting in front of my computer 12+ hours a day, playing iccup on a negative win rate, stalking my high school friends' facebook accounts checking on how well they are doing at their office jobs, med school or taking up masters degree. And yeah. I've already incurred more than 2 weeks of absences so there's no coming back to school for me. I'm so ggéd.
Welcome !
I also failed hard my two last college semesters and i'm not really interested in my studies too. I will just try to get a degree ( hope i will have it next year T-T ) then gg studies !
This semester i missed like 50% of my classes ...lololol
Hopefully it is cheap here ( 400euros /year haha ).
Life is awesome
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No point in giving up
unless you think a career in fast food is appealing
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become a professional house cleaner, thats what filipinos are known for :D
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On December 19 2008 15:00 TheFlashyOne wrote:
become a professional house cleaner, thats what filipinos are known for :D
wow? that's a bit harsh
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I suspect you're from a fairly well off family, because to get to UST and switching majors 2 years prior to graduating is a grand luxury most Filipinos don't have. You likely have too many options, and no one kicking your ass to finish so I'll do it for you: man the fuck up and accomplish something because life doesn't get any easier, you whiny, emotional tool and if you were at UP you would have already slit your writs and nailclipped your testicles off.
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On December 19 2008 15:00 TheFlashyOne wrote:
become a professional house cleaner, thats what filipinos are known for :D
we're actually more known for nursing, sailors, overseas workers, adobo, and slaying mexican boxers.
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you have obviously been through quite a bit of pain. you can do two things: continue you to fight against it (which is getting you no where), or embrace whats fucked up about yourself and your life.
pain is required for growth. if you are not growing, you are dying.
you know what you need to do. realize that your highly emotional thinking is not serving you.
you've got to become a man and take responsibility for yourself.
im sort of on a soap box here. but i come from a fucked up background as well. you will come out a better person for it in the long run, but you have to take care of your shit.
i was stuck in the fuck the world/etcetc/listen to coldplay for 10 hours/woe is me stage for a long, long time. i knew it was happening, i couldnt do much to solve it. in fact, when i tried to solve it, it usually backfired.
how i got over it? time, experience. there will never be a moment where you go: ok now im better! wee! it will be a progression over time. it is slow, it is painful. i regressed about a thousand times.
but i dont really feel the same anymore. shit that used to bother me doesnt. and i know shit that bothers me right now probably wont in the next 6 months or a year.
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i dont know what to say!
i felt like giving up doing my 3rd year in Uni, then i went elsewhere, now i dream about going back to school
but back then i felt so rebellious, like i wasnt going to need all the garbage they fed me
and in all honesty, its not the self-improvement that makes people study in most cases, its the opportunity
in our fucked up world its sometimes hard to make a living without these 5 years of studying. Its good if you like it, not so good if you dont
I felt that i had so much to do back in a day and school was always a burden
years after i realized that you have to digest what you can and while you can. This is something that defines you, knowledge is priceless. What can be better then improving yourself
i dont know man, good luck to you. Ive been through this and i still dont have a degree. Look around, see what happens, maybe you will find your hapiness
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you need to reevaluate your life: stop sitting in front of your computer for twelve hours a day, stop envying your friends, and start going to classes.
find something you love to do and do it. All people have insecurities, it's how we deal with them that matters.
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On December 19 2008 15:00 TheFlashyOne wrote:
become a professional house cleaner, thats what filipinos are known for :D
someone ban this faggot piece of shit finally.
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Dude get fucking to it.
I was in architecture too, but I switched out. The difference between me and you? I busted my ass doing it. After that, I was able to the switch out knowing that I gave it my best go and get on with life. I have no regrets about trying architecture, it was a great experience and I was and will always be interested in the field. Just not as a career.
Your response to your to your professor wasn't "alright fine, I gotta buckle down and improve my skills and show this guy what's up" but instead "I quit". How are you going to get anywhere like that? Now look at your response to college in general. Is it college that is a problem or is it your defeatist attitude? You take the easy way out and say "College just isn't for me!"
Half of last year I spent trying to figure out what I wanted to stick around in architecture or make the switch. I spoke to many, many advisers both within architecture as well as advisers for programs I found interesting. You have to plan you can't just laze around and skip class. During that whole period I completed every architecture project and assignment. My grades weren't stellar and aren't anything as good as the grades I have in my present program, but I was still pulling B level grades or above.
Sit down with some advisers and sit down with yourself and make a plan.
Get serious dude.
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I've been through this (well, am going through this). Unfortunately for you, you're enrolled in a highly specific degree (for instance, a degree in economics grants much more flexibility than a degree in nursing).
I would consider taking some time off and doing something else, perhaps taking on studies again later. Fact of the matter is that if you want any sort of credibility, you need a college degree. There are many "what ifs" in life, but, really, getting a college degree isn't one of them.
For instance there're a bunch of programs in the United States such as Americorps that allow you to do community service for six-month to year-long terms. They pay for your housing, meals (okay, some do) and give you a small stipend. In other words, they give you time to think about things and sort things out. It wasn't until a did a cross-country bicycle tour for affordable housing that some things really settled in my life. If you do something for a long time, oftentimes you get in a rut; taking some time off might be exactly what you need (and you can resume your studies later!)
I wouldn't get discouraged. Life's long. Also you might want to destroy your computer/stop playing so much StarCraft/get rid of your Facebook because plain, my experience with these things, when I'm stuck in something, is that they just delay/numb what's there and prolong problems.
Good luck to you man. Remember that you have a ton of options, even if you see it that way. Consider some of them, because things sure as hell aren't as black and white as they may seem =)
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Come on dude you got this one precious chance some people would kill for...
just don't quit school and regret it 10 years down the road. otherwise good luCk yo!
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On December 19 2008 15:00 TheFlashyOne wrote:
become a professional house cleaner, thats what filipinos are known for :D
Also please ban this kid. Ty.
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I have one thing to say but I'll draw it out to make a solid point.
Pride is the downfall of man, some great , some not. I started going to college when I was 15 years old. I did not have one teacher at my pathetic junior college that liked me. My essays were compared to the top students, my social graces, my wording- more or less everything- was put under constant ridicule and I fucked hated it. Every day I would drip with sweat from the anxiety of having to go to a certain english class and I hated my life. I was lucky enough to be a chess player, so everyday before each classes I was early with my board out and one of silmans books on my lap studying midgame position ect.. so....
One day a thin dark man stopped and said "would you like to play". After playing a few games he asked me all the usual, how old I was, my major, blah blah blah. I opened up to him about my self doubts and the problems with my teacher. After I was done talking, he introduced himself as Prof. Amir, a philos. prof, he more or less said I am in a unique situation and that I am being pushed harder then others because more is expected from me and he gave me two choices.
Fail -> and find an easier way threw life.
Win -> Say fuck em, and burn them down with silence and hard work and know that they had no part in making me who I would be.
I choose win. I was happier.
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On December 19 2008 15:13 drone wrote:
you need to reevaluate your life: stop sitting in front of your computer for twelve hours a day, stop envying your friends, and start going to classes.
find something you love to do and do it. All people have insecurities, it's how we deal with them that matters.
this
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and find a new field of study. There are so many options out there.
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your name is an abomination unto us all.
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Dude, don't even worry about being short. I have never been in a class of any size where there was a guy shorter than me. But I never let that affect me. I went out and got what I wanted and life is good. Just pick something in college, finish it, then move on.
Otherwise you may regret not finishing for the rest of your life.
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Don't listen to your professor dude, that guy is fucked up.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://pix.nofrag.com/e/5/d/ba39040bc150e36f53769916782f0.gif)
