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I was an hour late to work today. I just moved to North County San Diego, "Oceanside", and I already hate this place. The commute, I expected, but this...
I was in line at Washington Mutual this afternoon. There was an elderly woman behind me, and some guy who I would physically describe as a tall, black version of inControl, but also semi-obese.
As the line moves up, we all move forward but the black guy moves too far with each step, forcing the old lady out of the way, and eventually getting too close to me (his shirt is touching me). When the person in front of me dequeued, I didn't even move forward, or else he'd move too, and probably step on me. He steps forward anyways, to the point where he's literally pressing up against me with his keg-stomach. He begins to fill out a deposit slip like it's nothing, bumping me with his pen and elbows repeatedly. I turned to him really nicely, "Hey man, can I get some space?"
He doesn't budge, looks me square in the eye and says, "Why you gotta be making it something it's not? You trippin like I'm on your shit, hewmie. Yo, you bein ig'nant, hewmie."
"No man, it's just that you keep bumping me..."
"You dun even let me 'pologize homie, you ig'nrant homie, making me out like I'm in your shit, I'll beat your ass right here in this bank, homie."
...almost verbatim. Fucking psychopath. I face forward again, but I hear him breathing hard and muttering, psyching himself up, and my instincts tell me he's going to swing. I decide to placate him a bit. I turn and say, "Hey listen man. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend. I understand you were about to apologize, and I don't want you to get the wrong idea. It's not a big deal."
"homie, you ig'nant. I'll kick beat your ass down right here (etc etc)."
OK, so now everyone in the bank is wise to this situation. I dequeue.
"How are you, sir?"
"Getting assaulted at the bank and shit, but besides that, I'm terrific. Can I get a money order too, please?"
"Oh... sure."
As I do my business with the teller, he takes off his "Oceanside City School" (elementary school) polo shirt to show me his Raiders colors underneath... What a champion. I'm maximally pissed off about getting punked in line, and this Raiders bullshit is the icing. As I leave and he approaches a teller, I think, He's a fat bastard, and I have a head-start, so I indulge:
"You should be ashamed of yourself, working with children and acting like that."
Of course, as I leave the bank, I check behind me continuously and sure enough, he comes bounding out the door after me. I sprint to my vehicle across the parking lot. As I scramble for my keys, I can see him catching up in the window's reflection. I'm trying to get the keys in the door but I can't. My adrenaline is flowing and my hands are shaking so badly I can't get my fucking keys in the door, and I'm seriously about to take to foot.
*Click* Finally I get in.
*Slam-Click* Door locked.
I jam the keys in, throw it in reverse, and parking break still on, pull out and point my truck at him just as he catches up. Rationality kicked back in and I turned the wheel rather than dent my truck, pulling away. I called the police and he started to walk away, so I followed him in my truck, but he lost me in an alley, and I certainly wasn't going to follow. Cops showed up 10 seconds later, and I'm like, "HE'S OVER THAR. GO GET!" But they were indifferent and just wanted a statement.
SO EXCITING!
  
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WTF
same thing happened to me the other day
except i flipped the guy off and almost hit him with my car
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so i guess it's not exactly the same thign
like there's some technical differences
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Damnit, you sound cool in your story, whereas I'm the scared slinky white boy in mine.
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Snet
United States3573 Posts
It's sad to know some people are at that point in their life where they are an asshole to everyone.
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why'd he show you his raider colors wtf
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You should have let him beat you up, you probably could have gotten a lot of money and also looked like a skinny Indian + Show Spoiler + instead of a skinny white kid.
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On October 08 2008 11:11 HeadBangaa wrote:
Damnit, you sound cool in your story, whereas I'm the scared slinky white boy in mine.
ya, i think you're confused. im referring to my blog
Second bad thing: I nearly get fucking assaulted. On the way to the supermarket to pick up some prescriptions, I was driving more aggressively than usual and I don't let this guy (pedestrian) coming out of the parking lot cross the street. I was probably going pretty fast for a supermarket parking lot coz he throws a fit and starts makign all these gestures at me. I'm in no fuckign mood and I flip him off (probably not the smartest thing to do, in retrospect). This REALLY sets him off and he comes after my car. I park, lock my fuckign doors and get in a yelling match at him and he's threatening to beat the shit out of me. He's standing RIGHT in front of my car so I can't get out without backing out. After a while I've had enough and pick up my phone pretending I'm calling 911 and he runs off.
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^ oic, missed that, reading now
On October 08 2008 11:16 Yogurt wrote:
why'd he show you his raider colors wtf
To demonstrate how hard he is. It's part of this delusion that Raiders fans have. Swingint eh arms and puckering the lips, mmmm so hard.
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United States24753 Posts
If that shit has to happen to you, a good place is a bank. If you are gonna rile him up (even if you do nothing wrong and he shouldn't get riled up) as soon as you detect him getting pissed, go towards the nearest off-limits swinging door or security guard. If he makes an advance you just retreat to where he looks very guilty and is on camera. Using a teller as a shield gets double points and makes the bank get really really pissed at the chaser.
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Should have let him stomp your ass. The securityguard would have shot him.
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On October 08 2008 11:05 HeadBangaa wrote:
some guy who I would physically describe as a tall, black version of inControl, but also semi-obese.
redundancy there
jk jk no ban plz incontrol is my HERO
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what a dumbass, not only is he an obese fuck and touching you with it, but he also saids hewmie. anyone that says ignant and hewmie deserve whatever happens to them, even if that means getting schooled in a bank
i dont get the whole working with children crack?
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Hahahaha, you had me laughing so hard in the library. 
Find a new bank, so you don't have to deal with this again.
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this was a helluva lot better than i thought it would be. Good read
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lol at people calling police in everything -____-
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United States20661 Posts
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On October 08 2008 12:27 XCetron wrote:
lol at people calling police in everything -____- dat's what they fo homie, dont be all ignant
ps awesome story!
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On October 08 2008 12:27 XCetron wrote:
lol at people calling police in everything -____-
if i thought some large black man was gonna beat me up i'd call them too
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EPT
