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Here's my story about regarding gaming addiction.
I believe my addiction really started in grade. 6 when I was introduced to game X. I played it a few times at my friend's house and it interested me enough for a download. Even though my memory is hazy of those early years, I recall that I never played that much and I still spent most of my time hanging out with friends or playing sports.
Well, these peaceful times wouldn't last of course. I moved the next year to a different city and to a different social environment. The leap from a happy, close-knit gr.6 class to the social jungle that was middle school was quite overwhelming for my naturally introverted self. I believe I used game X as an escape mechanism from the hardships of reality - the lack of close friends and the feelings of inferiority.
In high school, things did get better although I still felt burdened by the desire to fit in, to be "cool" as it were. By this point, game X was becoming a sedative and I played because... that's all I remembered enjoying the past few years, I never bothered thinking about other activities. Once you're in a cycle it's very hard to break out especially without exterior motivation. Anyways, I made some friends who introduced me to yet another game, let's call it Y. I began playing this game a lot because I liked my friends and I viewed it as a way of having an activity to enjoy together. So this was another reason to game: to develop friendships with people who you would normally have nothing in common with.
Eventually, I left game Y and I entered university. I think this time was when I really started understanding the problems I had. I was finally mature enough to look inside myself without drawing back in fear of what I might uncover. Without a game to be addicted to and a clearer perspective on life, I thought I would be safe for a while. Unfortunately, due to processes I can't explain, I reverted back to game X, or a random game of the week, or just browsing the internet to avoid doing work. I couldn't control myself. I justified my choices too - "I can write the paper tomorrow", "I deserve to relax!", "I'm learning stuff from this youtube clip!", "isn't life about having fun?" etc.
Nonetheless, I was still doing alright. My life wasn't in shambles, I wasn't failing school, and I wasn't isolated from my peers. From the outside, I was a mellow guy who treated everyone nicely. However, my insides were always torn up by what I believe to be the worst part of my addiction: guilt. The cycle goes like this: 1) plan to finish a lab report today, 2) turn on computer, 3) waste time on games/youtube, 4) feel guilty and depressed. It's really the loss of self control that creates the guilt, the feeling that you have no say in the matter and it's just your addiction acting on your behalf.
I apologize for the lack of structure in this post. I just sort of wrote it to let people in the same boat see they aren't alone. I also wrote it to avoid studying for an exam. See what I mean? 
 
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stop rationalizing your actions and grind it out? :3
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are you looking for attention?
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Wait, you procrastinate? Wow, thats uncommon  Seriously, you don't really have an uncommon problem at all, and it has very little to do with any game. Just don't study by your computer, push yourself a bit and you'll be fine.
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Don't feel guilty for wanting to have fun. Just recognise what you need to do, and make sure you're proud of your priorities. TBH, I don't really know why you made that post. You already know this.
PS: I hope you're really fuckin good at game X by now. Also, if it's WarCraft III you can just leave these forums right now 
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It's really the loss of self control that creates the guilt, the feeling that you have no say in the matter and it's just your addiction acting on your behalf
if you have no say in the matter then you have nothing to feel guilty about.
The fact that you feel guilty is an acknowledgement (whether conscious or subconcious) that you're a victim of your own bad decision making. Your calling it an 'addiction' is you trying to rationalize your lack of willpower.
I'm not trying to be a dick or be hard on you - i often find myself in similar situations. However, it's been my experience that only when i become fully aware of my responsiblity in the matter (or even the responsibility i can choose to take on), that i have any control over changing it.
i wish you the best of luck. guilt is a super shitty emotion; i don't very often experience it and when i do i go to great lengths to solve it.
edit - instead of learning to always be in control, could you perhaps learn to just enjoy not acting responsibility? The world doesn't give a fuck if you do you're homework or not, is it really worth your time to make it as important as you do? And from the sounds of it it's not like you don't get your shit done; but rather you're just unhappy with the order you get it done in? learn2happy.
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United States20170 Posts
Preaching to the choir son.
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Damn, upon re-reading this, I'm awed by the amount of emo-ness this post is exuding. I've finally become my nightmare. The prophecy has come true. On a related note, I will start proof-reading my entries and remove any delusions of grandeur.
I didn't write this to seek approval or attention. Seriously! I actually thought it was an honest excerpt from the heart. An objective look into my problems. Only thing is that I don't really have problems, it appears that these are all normal feelings.
As for the guilt, it comes from lack of control. If I plan to play Starcraft for 15 hours one day and I do, that's fine with me. If I wanted to practice my basketweaving only to play Starcraft for 15 hours instead, then that causes me guilt. Of course, I'm making a mountain out of a molehill here and I'm going to quietly slink away now. God, so fucking emo.
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United States22883 Posts
edit - instead of learning to always be in control, could you perhaps learn to just enjoy not acting responsibility? The world doesn't give a fuck if you do you're homework or not, is it really worth your time to make it as important as you do?
That is absolutely retarded. There are overachievers who freak out about unimportant details, but I don't think that describes anyone on TL. In our case, doing that would mean us brushing off important details and potentially fucking ourselves further.
To the OP: if you can skip turning on the computer or just not open a web browser, do that. You can avoid the feeling guilty part entirely.
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it's not an addiction man.
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i dont think a forum dedicated to an online game is where you should look for help for a gaming addiciton
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for years of my life there has always had some game i've been playing.
is it a hobby or an addiction?
i don't know.
i do enjoy it, though, despite the consequences on my social life (what's left it, at least).
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This seems pretty normal for teenagers/young adults. Stop beating yourself up about it. As long as you graduate who gives a fuck.
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United States22883 Posts
On April 22 2008 05:50 jimminy_kriket wrote:
This seems pretty normal for teenagers/young adults. Stop beating yourself up about it. As long as you graduate who gives a fuck.
Graduate schools?
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On April 22 2008 05:04 Jibba wrote:Show nested quote +edit - instead of learning to always be in control, could you perhaps learn to just enjoy not acting responsibility? The world doesn't give a fuck if you do you're homework or not, is it really worth your time to make it as important as you do? That is absolutely retarded. There are overachievers who freak out about unimportant details, but I don't think that describes anyone on TL. In our case, doing that would mean us brushing off important details and potentially fucking ourselves further.
i guess that's fair. i just can't relate to it.
i personally think 'guilt' is alot more retarded than learning to be happy with yourself. but hey, it wouldn't be the first time that i haven't seen eye to eye with someone.
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care to tell us what games X and Y are??? XD
i do the same thing, im doing alright, i have friends at school, however i do procrastinate a lot(im doing so right now) but its ok, as long as the work gets done, then everything is fine
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On April 22 2008 07:07 killanator wrote:
care to tell us what games X and Y are??? XD
i do the same thing, im doing alright, i have friends at school, however i do procrastinate a lot(im doing so right now) but its ok, as long as the work gets done, then everything is fine
probably wow and wc3
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EPT
