EPTThere are many pros and cons to being a female gamer on bnet. I think it is safe to say that a female gamer will generally get treated a lot differently than male gamers, in several different ways.
I must admit that I have tried in the past to keep my gender unkown to avoid having to deal with some of those issues, but I found it deceptive and difficult to have a close relationship with people on my friend list, having to avoid discussing various aspects about myself and my life. There was definately a noticeable difference in how I was treated, though, when I was assumed to be a guy.
I must admit that more than not, I do enjoy being a female gamer, even welcoming some of the negative attention I get a lot. I have learned to ignore the things that bother me, and laugh at most of the various things people say.
The most common response I get is disbelief. There are a lot of people who think that females who play Starcraft simply do not exist. I think that people are more likely to accept girls playing MMO's or even FPS games, but to think that a girl would have any enjoyment playing an RTS game just seems to be beyond a lot of people. Congratulations, I have now just become an object of hate, disgust, and a target for ridicule and various name calling from people I have only just met upon stating my gender. The insults ensue: shim, shemale, etc. The fact that almost everyone on bnet has known at least one male who has posed as a female either personally or through popular news floating around on websites such as TL does not help the situation. I can especially remember, right before I went on my internet hiatus, the 'Zia scandal'. The disbelief of my fellow gamers became even more frequent and harsh during that time, and I was often called a 'Zia wannabe', one of the few insults that really bothered me.
Afterwards, people want to see "proof". It does no benefit to either parties, this "trying to prove yourself", but it can be very bothersome when people continue to give you trouble and make you out to be dishonest. I oftentimes find myself wanting to just prove it and get it over with so we can move on to something else. Half the time the accuser rejects any kind of proof you attempt to provide. A picture can be taken from anywhere off the internet. I have even found myself responding to the "if you are really a girl, then call me and let me hear your voice." This happened on two occasions. The first person responded with "Oh sh*t, you really are a girl!" and the second with "Dude, I still don't believe you, that was your little sister." There really is no winning in the latter situation and I have learned that it is a futile waste of my time to try to prove myself. Yet I still find myself trying to do so, wishing people would believe me and accept me for who I am. I have often found myself wanting to respond with "prove to me you are a guy". It makes me think of how unnecessary it is.
Another type of person is the kind who believes you are a female, or pretends to just for humors sake. They oftentimes ramble with endless insults such as "b*tch, whore, cunt" and remarks such as "f*ck you," "go make me a sandwhich," "get in the kitchen and wash my dishes," "get over here and suck my cock," or "hey babe, wanna cyber?" Before there was any mention of my gender, I would be treated like everyone else, but I immediately become a target of unmerited hatred.
My response to those two types of people? I never retaliate. I "
" and "lol". I will often start talking about the game (if we are obbing) or ask them questions about themselves, or ignore them and make unrelated comments as if they never said anything. I think that for me this is the easiest way to deal with it. I believe being bm back will just egg them on. I do not like having enemies. I refuse to be bm to anyone for any reason. The result is usually the same. If I continue to have contact with the person, they have usually added me to their friend list within a few days or hours. I like it this way.But sometimes I wonder if this is weird. Why would I want to have any kind of relationship with anyone who was so degrading to me at one point? I sometimes wonder if it is best to defend myself, rather than trying to charm my way into being treated like a human being. I become aware of these questions mostly when my boyfriend or younger brother witness the name calling. I will become aware of what is actually being said and how terrible it is. I realize that I am letting it happen and merely just smiling back at their remarks and even trying to be their friends. I don't usually realize that they are doing anything wrong because it is so common that I have just accepted it as normal. My boyfriend gets VERY angry when he sees how people treat me on bnet and also gets angry at me for not doing anything about it. He will ask me questions like, "Why are you still in this game?", "Why are you hanging around with these people?" I oftentimes feel like I really don't have a choice. I might as well not play the game, or ever go on bnet, because it happens everywhere I go.
The thing that bothers me the most, is when people say I only got something I wanted because I'm a girl. Comments like "You only got into that team because you're a girl" really make me angry. Of course I will adamently deny any such thing, but in my mind I begin to think, "What if he's right? What if they only let me in because I'm a girl?" I cannot stand the thought of that. That and people going easy or letting me win because I am a girl. It it the most insulting thing you could do or say to me.
It isn't all bad though, and for me the good points outweigh the bad, because I try not to let things bother me. If people aren't cussing me out for no reason, they are usually very friendly with me. I hate to admit that I enjoy the positive attention I oftentimes get. I stand out because I am different from everyone else. People notice me and remember me and want to get to know me. People seem more likely to want to give me tips when I ask or even train me, and I definately need all the help I can get. When I am in a team I am usually loved and am treated slightly special. People want to stick up for me. Of course, that is because I am usually the only girl among all those guys. I also like to think that a lot of it is due to my personality, but it would be too much to hope that they only treated me that way because of my pleasant personality.
Probably the best thing about being a girl on bnet for me is the very fact that people do not expect me to know how to play the game. They do not usually expect me to be especially good, so when I lose I can at least have the consolation that I didn't go below anyones expectations of me. But even better is when I do win, and people realize that they have just been beaten at their own game by a girl. It is very devastating to many people and I relish in the "I can't believe I just lost to a girl." On the opposite end, I sometimes feel pressure to prove myself as being just as capable to play regardless of my gender, and to "represent" female gamers. It can also be slightly annoying when the "omg I lost to a girl" comments go on and on. Just last night, I went on vent for the first time with a team I am planning on joining. I was playing on of their members, and everyone was obbing, and there was lots of, "Dude, if you lose to a girl I am going to laugh so hard." What's the big deal?
I admit that I am guilty to some of the things I have mentioned above when I meet someone on bnet who claims to be a girl. I can also be very skeptical, though I would never voice that opinion because I would be doing the exact same thing that people do to me. I also feel that if they really are a girl, they must not be very good, and that I should be able to beat them. When I lose to a girl, I am very surprised and angry. I feel like I should not lose to girls, even though I am one. Perhaps that is a reason why I am so forgiving with people, because I can't help but be affected by those same stigmas and can relate to some of the feelings they have. I also tend to want to protect and help along other girls as long as they seem good mannered.
I am sorry for being so long winded, but thanks for bearing with me till the end. I hope you found it somewhat interesting. Feel free to ask me any questions or discuss the topic.
Are there any other girls out there who feel differently than I do? Or the same?
And of course to guys who have had experience posing as a girl. I know there are a lot of you. ;]
Ever lost to a girl?
Ever met a girl on bnet?
Discuss discuss anything related!
or ums 
