EPTEnglish Composition Assignment at Fullsail
Inspiration: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
The upside of being called to clean up a mess on aisle 10 is that I am able to get away from this incredibly repetitive workflow of restocking groceries. Having this opportunity will allow my brain to wonder along my slow path passed aisles 1 through 9. My sanity is at stake in this hellhole – this zoo of a job is getting ridiculous. All that is about to change. I almost forgot I had eaten an eighth of shrooms 30 minutes ago – my trip was about to begin.
I had passed three aisles without spacing out completely. I then passed two Alligators picking up baby powder and other baby ‘gator accessories – I’m hoping they didn’t hear me say that out loud. At that point they appeared taken back by my species assumption; it was then that I realized they were actually Crocodiles. I quickly ran away from the marsh they inhabited.
Passing aisles 4 and 5 gave me chills. A very belligerent mushroom kept asking me where I could find Tom Atos while sitting anxiously in the baby-seat in a shopping cart. I kept telling the crazy old fungus that I’ve never met the acquaintance of such a man and vowed never to speak of him again. I figured that the fungus was going crazy seeing as it was imprisoned in a sealed package among other prisoners of war.
With a quick glance into the remaining 4 aisles, I kept being snapped at by Crocodiles asking for assistance. It didn’t help that I was slowly creeping aimlessly in and out of the Croc infested aisles – staring down the beasts as they gawked at me. I was not going to stay in their aura for long; nor answer their crazy questions.
The exit of aisle 9 showed me the way, or rather Curtis did, as I got in an argument with the last lobster in the tank of death. Luckily I have connections with the seafood department. That lobster will not get away with making fun of my job title. Now my mopping equipment is ready for use.
A giraffe had made the mess. It was disturbing though apologetic and cooperative, despite being caught spying on our seafood department. I think the shit-talking lobster caught its eye as well.
Right next to the tall creature was a lake of purple glowing goo – I didn’t even want to ask what it is. Nor does the long necked fool have much of an expression on his face either. As the commanding officer in the area my first priority was to quickly quarantine the area.
In light of the situation, the gentle beast had showed no threat to the crocodile population. Though it was fun to hold a diplomatic meeting with the outsider, it made me realize that I was only the peon in this fucked up kingdom of food.
As the giraffe offered his last apologies I shook my head and traveled towards my inevitable destiny. I quickly waltzed toward the back of the store ducking and dodging the crocs along the way. I started power walking once I caught sight of the troll in charge of this crazy operation. He quickly took a disliking to my presence. I then reminisced of the last 10 minutes and it made an impact on me. My journey allowed me to recollect my hate for this sloppily coordinated food source. Before he had opened his mouth I fed him a selection of words that would intrigue myself for the rest of the day - “I can’t work in this zoo.”
It’s funny, I remember working at a grocery store.
