EPTMy first order of buisness was to get togheter with some TLnetter to watch the Bisu vs Mind final (who happend to be Mind vs Bisu btw). We all met at Culture's place and it was a ball
{insert here some pictures of us playing 2v2 on a kitchen table on laptop, and of pizza, and of some starcraft on TV}
A month left on my stay in the USA, I subletted a room in an appartement in Williamsburg Brooklyn.
That paid, I found myself with very little money to spend in a month.
So I decided to do something stupid.
To gamble it.
I got myself a ticket to Atlantic City and headed to the poker table. To make a long story short, let's say I am not Rekrul. I felt more like the pal of Shrek out there.
So I lost it all.
Here I was, on the bus back to New York, with less than 200$ in my poket to survive a month.
{insert here a picture of a homeless under a bridge}
But I was not to give up the game. Bisu would have, not me, nono, I was to keep on fighting.
The next day, I met with my friend Ariel (we shared the NYC-Denver ride togeter) and I let him buy me dinner at a puertorican place (btw really good food, fried bananas, yay). I talked with him about my situation and asked him how hard it would be for me to get a job in New York. He told me I could wait table pretty easly (I do have experience doing that in Switzerland, being a waiter is a second job for comedians). So I just entered the 1st French restaurant I came across and asked strait up if they were hiring. I was stunned to hear they were.
I talked with the boss (a short italo-american, who I found out after is a real asshole, no really a bad bad person, with shit all over him). After answering 2 questions, with my best french accent I was hired.
"Come back tomorrow wearing black, you'll be training for 2 days"
Yay I tought... I got a job.
{Instert here pictures of Didier in black in the French restaurant}
So I spent some of my remaining money on a black shirt, black trousers and a pair of black shoes. And the next day I learned the job of a waiter in New York.
See, waiting table in the US is really different that the job in Europe.
In Europe, you have a salary, no matter how many clients you serve, you are paid the same.
In the US, you are paid by the customers who are supposed to leave 15 to 20% of the bill as a tip (Better learn that if you guys plan to go to the US and eat out a bit, cause tourist who leave 1$ tip on a 50$ bill are really really hurting the poor waiters).
In Europe, you also have to do everything, from taking the order to bringing the food to the table and cleaning up after the customer is gone.
In USA you have
So basicly, you only have to take the order and be funny, then make another joke or two and bring the check at the end. Then rake up the tip (that you share with the bus boys and the food runners.
Pretty easy! and since I am funny (other people told me that, I would never pretend to be funny if I did not have outside sources) I made pretty good tips. Actually I was kinda dissapointed when I had "only" 20% tips.
All was well. I aced the 2 days training and on my first day of actuall work I messaged (on my cellphone) my girlfriend to tell her the good news. When I got back to my coat 2 hours after to check if she had answered the message, I could not find my phone.... nor my camera.
My fucking phone and my fucking camera had been stolen.
{insert here a picture of a random black guy going through my poket in the employees locker and stealing my shit}
DAMN, you can call me unlucky.
I was so unlucky during that stay. I worked 3 nights and made about 8$ per night because we had no clients.
And I had to endure the boss.
{insert here a picture of a middle aged guy, about 1m50 tall and red with anger}
The boss, a midget who thinks he's smart because he's rich and will talk to you like you are some kind of shit. Actually, we the waiter were some sort of high quality shit, compared to the rest of the crew, the mexicans, to whom he did not speak at all. He would come to you and if no customers were within ear, he would shout like a mad cow about any thing. I just did the fist in my poket, knowing I only had to endure that for a month and then I would just never see him again. But I swear, I was close to go jiu jitsu on him.
I was his French guy, the one you put up front so the customers are happy, like the decoration. But mind you, all the personnel in the kitchen was born south of texas, and none of them would know what a Chateau Briant or a Poule-au-Pot is if they didn't have a cookbook in spanish to cheat on.
{insert here a picture of a guy in sombrero in a kitchen}
To end my bad luck streak was the death of my dog last week.
Just a few days before I got back home. Nothing much to say about that.
Well, all in all, I survived. And now my plane is waiting for me.
I will go back to Switzerland, see my girl friend whom I miss tremendously, my family and my friend. I won't see my dog anymore helas, but c'est la vie, as we say in french.
I had a ball in the USA during those 3 months here, and particularly with everyone I met. You guys.
I want to thank again, in no particular order of magnitude : Ariel, Jason, Monika, Ragnar, Culture, Nick, Andy, Klaire, Neil, SixSongs, Branden, Nicole, Sergei, FuDDx, Jim, Dennis, Susie, Michelle, Trevor, Justin, Rod, Jacory, Devan, Nika, Rajib, Jesse, Anouar and all the other that I forgot in the list for making my stay a wonderful one. You are all welcome in my house in Switzerland, just don't come all at once please.
