A few days ago my mom and brother came over to my house to stay a while. I am a clean person in general, but pandemic made me extra careful about washing my hands often and other cleaning stuff.
First incident was, my wife went to the bathroom after he did and when she came out, she told me that my brother left the toilet with poop stains. I didn't want to embarrass him by warning him face to face, so instead I wrote a text message and told him that we have a toilet brush behind the toilet that he can use after using the bathroom. It's a bit hidden so I thought he might not have seen it.
A day later I noticed a spray of yellow stains on the toilet seat so I called and politely told him that he should lift the lid if he pees standing up. He told me he doesn't so I cleaned it and let it go.
On another day he sat next to me at the dinner table and he was very smelly. My mom and I had to tell him that he should shower a few times before he did.
He doesn't wash his hands often in general but there's a specific thing that disgusts me the most. He usually stays up until sunrise playing computer games and every day around 5AM he goes into the bathroom, immediately flushes and goes back to his room all in a couple of seconds. My bedroom is next to the bathroom and our tap makes a loud noise when used which is easily heard from the room. As a guy it's not hard to guess what he does, he probably waits until that hour to make sure everyone is asleep, masturbates and throws the tissue into the toilet, but he never washes his hands afterwards.
My mom says she's tired of nagging him all the time about all the issues (sitting at the computer all night, not showering, not eating regularly etc.) and that he doesn't listen to her anymore. I can make him do things easier than my mom but I also don't want to nag him like all the other adults around. But the masturbate-not-wash thing is making me super angry and disgusted and I don't want to explode at him and ruin the little time we have together.
Few days ago I woke up at 5AM again to his flush and bathroom door noise and I couldn't sleep because of anger and thinking how should I tell him . Today the same thing happened, I got up, went to his room, sat there angrily a little. He thought that I was angry at him because he stays up late, so he turned off the computer and went to sleep, but the real issue was different. I couldn't say anything because if I started talking I felt that I might lose my temper then went to the other room to just cool off. And I also wiped the bathroom and door handles he touched....
I thought of telling my mom not to bring him along anymore until he learns basic hygiene but I'm also sad for her. She's very caretaking and tries to do her best but she seems given up...