"I'll tell you what Reality is." Was the reply of the great Hound, Baskin Robbins. The Hound named Baskin Robbins usually spoke to Stanislovski in a slightly guttural rumble.
"Well, then was it?" Mumbled Stanislovski, mussing his greybeard with the fingertips of his left hand. "What is Reality, O Great Baskin Robbins, who I defer to in all such matters as though they were matters of life and death. Tell me, you grueling mutt, whose time has come in these matters of higher philosophy."
"Reality is nothing more or less than the perception of the thing itself." Replied Baskin Robbins, a proud and sturdy Hound dog. "And the thing itself is nothing less than the Object-Which-Is-Perceived."
"Oh, really?" Replied Stanislovski, who regarded the Hound steadily, turning a full half-turn or 180.° Finally Stanislovski's countenance no longer regarded the Hound but fell heavily upon a fireplace and chimney on the far wall.
"Actually I do it reliably." Said the Hound whose name was Baskin Robbins. "When it comes to a regular and fairly stable reality in which no identity at all could be mistaken for another under any circumstance, it is me and myself alone who presents the broadest target. The scope of here and now falls upon my profile with the sight of a man upon a deer or even a buck."
"Oh, really?" Said Stanislovski. "It is beyond shocking to me, and this is me speaking purely for myself. When I say that I truly cannot believe any correspondence or relation whatever between you and the Reality we call the world."
"Why is that?" Replied the Hound who now in its turn imitated the 180° turn of Stanislovski (who had made the turn in the first place). "Tell me what you mean by that you damn Hound!" Exclaimed Stanislovski struggling to find himself. "Surely you don't mean to imply that you of all people understand the world around you. It would be to the chagrin of all mankind if the model known as the dog, or even the Hound--which is worse--should prove to state of its principles that there is something or another Real? For it is certainly not the case that the Hound would have any pretense of knowledge to the convincing state of the Real World."
"And it is as much certain to be the case that, for instance, the World of Hounds would resist the pre-eminence of a Human--to the extent." Replied Baskin Robbins, who now having completed the second 180° of his about-face, stood forward smilingly.
"What I can tell you with certainly, Baskin Robbins, you lovable old Hound--is that with increasing certainty, what you Perceive-to-be-Reality is something Other Than."
"I am afraid I don't understand you." Replied Baskin Robbins in his guttural growl.
"Well, what is there to understand?" Said Stanislovski.
"Quite a bit of nonsense." Said Baskin Robbins.