EPTI'd bet most of us have heard phrase this as children, but didn't fully understand the weight of those words until we slowly experienced instances that we felt time just slip away from us, live in action as we got older. I've probably said it myself hundreds of times now since then, it just took a little growing up to understand exactly what everyone had always been referring to.
With time in mind, the concept of actually forgetting little details about one's past first became apparent when I was a child, and I would ask my parents a random question pertaining to something that happened when they were kids. They would sometimes reply, "Oh, I can't remember...It was so long ago now..."
Growing up, I thought I wouldn't forget little details about things that had happened like they had. Fast forward a couple decades to the present day, and my previous theories about my brain's ability to retain information have been long thrown out the door. We all have memories as children, but I've come to learn that when I try to access something super specific or place certain people's faces from my childhood, I at times end up drawing a blank. On top of that, I've also learned not only can I forget little things from a long time ago, but it's also possible to forget something that happened the week prior, or even yesterday! In turn, it has become apparent to me almost as if time and our brains together have a funny way of brisking away our memories for when we want to remember them. In some cases they seem to be just tucked away, just out of reach for when some sensual reminder appears in our lives, whether it be a smell, sound, or even just a certain feeling which holds no true name.
However, even with fuzzy memories and lost details, I would also bet that we all still remember the center, or underlying power of those memories that actually shapes our childhood, and will hopefully always have access to the roads that led us to where we're now standing.
NOW BACK UP AGAIN...
I should let you know that I'm not from around here. My journey started on the Planet Arakkis, my House was Atreides...
Most hardcore Sci-Fi buffs would probably now be attentive, but questioning where I was going with this. I suppose I can thank my father for not only being very into computers, but also being a Frank Herbert fan, for enabling me to delve into the world of real-time strategy games at a very young age by purchasing Dune II: The Building Of A Dynasty, disputably coined as the very first RTS game by today's standard of the term.
At that age, it didn't seem "special" or "out of the ordinary" for me to be playing Dune II. I remember going down to basement where my dad had a computer set up for me using old Windows 3.0 with a bunch of old games loaded on it, and starting my explorations in the world of PC gaming. The original Dune was also a favorite, but at such a young age it wasn't easy to get very far, as there is a lot of text to read, and I wasn't going to stand for it! Haha....Get it?
Okay, I could probably stand by then considering I was able to sit on a PC, but hey.
As I got older, my dad bought WarCraft: Orcs And Humans and WarCraft II: Tides Of Darkness and I remember spending a little more time playing both of those games. I enjoyed other games at this time period as well, and at this age there was little sense of commitment to any one game, or even any one thing in general...Oh the freedom!
I can still recall when my father got Command And Conquer for his birthday, and I was so excited when he opened it that I ran downstairs, put the CD in and installed it, and started playing before he even got a chance. If someone today took my birthday gift and went to use it before I did, I'd probably at least feel a certain way about it, but I can only imagine it's a little different feeling when it's your child. I can still picture the first level, where the guy dressed up in a snazzy military suit tells you your mission on the high-tech HD 1080p (or it seemed at the time) cutscene, and you end up getting plopped out on a beach somewhere in enemy territory. I can't recall what the mission was, but I assure you,shit was going down.
Back then, I didn't really realize how much I loved RTS games. It was not love at first sight, but one that became apparent over my entire life of gaming, and more specifically from the time I've spent playing one series of titles...
En Taro Adun!
I first laid my eyes on her in a dirty magazine! What? I suppose StarCraft doesn't really fit a gender, but I'm pretty sure there's a good chance the magazine I first saw the screen shots of the game play in was a little dirty, I mean, I was 5 or 6 then; I know for a fact I was still playing around on the floor at that age.
It might not seem like it if you go by today's games, but I remember being a kid and looking at SC in some edition of PC Gamer magazine or one of the others, and just being completely mind blown with how cool it looked. All I had to do was let my imagination soar from there. I mean, I had already played WarCraft games, so they got me on the "sounds-alike" factor alone. I expressed my interest to my father, and at one point he had installed a StarCraft demo for me to play. I recall being super happy and full of excitement, and I remember how awesome the sounds of the menus were, and how dark the theme was; it almost really made me feel like I was in orbit outside some distant world.
Getting to control space marines and shoot little alien dogs...I mean if I knew how to tell you, "This was the best day of my life!" at that age, I would have told you.
If you love something, let it go.
It's funny how many little sayings and phrases the English language has developed into common word, but in this particular case, the above saying couldn't be any more true.
I definitely wasn't letting go on purpose, I mean, at that age--and with my brain--keeping my attention on one thing wasn't really a constructed idea yet. I forgot about poor SC for awhile. I ventured on to Age Of Empires, Red Alert, and others..still chasing the next best thing, as most kids tend to do. However, my interest in RTS games was just lying dormant as I would find out a few years later.
For my birthday in 1999, my dad got me the StarCraft Battle Chest. I had forgotten about SC a bit, but it was freshly released which must have been what peaked his interest in it as a gift. When I got to play it, I initially went to play single player, as I didn't really know of the vast world we ended up with today. Again, I had forgotten about SC for awhile even though I really enjoyed playing, and also finding out all the cheat codes.
A year or two passed, and I eventually found out about Battle.net from a classmate in school. He told me about his brother and the "clan" he had. TuSF...The Unstoppable Force. I got my discs back out and found the multiplayer tab, and created my first account. I couldn't tell you what it was....See what I mean about the details getting lost but the core remains?
They were money map players, and also map hackers. Fight fire with fire. Here's another we've all heard! I had a stint of map hacking and rolling in mad minerals, but I'll never forget the day that I ended up in channel clan X17 and played some guy on Challenger. I couldn't tell you who it was, but from that game on I was told that low-money is real StarCraft. Of course, I kinda believed him, but only because of how bad he beat me. Thus, the competitive nature of the beast is born!
StarCraft has brought me an entire spectrum of emotions and countless hours of frustration and satisfaction combined. That one day in Clan X17 that changed my life....Might as well be the name of my autobiography.
The first VOD I saw was of ChoJJa. Holy shit was he fast. Like, why is he clicking so god damn fast? I can't remember how I found out about the video, it might have been a random link, or it might have been someone who told me to check it out. Either way, the very next game I played I tried as hard as I could to do like he did and play super fast. It was a game on Lost Temple, just like in the VOD. I remember doing 2 hatch mutalisk and winning vs a protoss. I checked after the game, and I had 160+ apm! BWChart was just a baby back then
I couldn't believe the VODs of the Korean Pro Scene at the time. Around the same time, I learned about `SlayerS`_BoxeR, and [NC]..YellOw, and all the other pros at the time. Also, a couple foreignors who were ravaging the scene, PlayGrrrr... (That's 4 r's and 3 .'s!) and ElkY.
I still recall daydreaming at school about the pro scene, and thinking about builds and strategies. Obviously, as anyone who has played knows, it's a very slow process for some.
I spent hours and hours staying up later and later playing StarCraft. There's always something to improve on, always something to work on. I felt like it made me faster and better at multitasking not only in the game, but in the real world as well. I played CounterStrike as well but never stopped playing SC.
Towards the end of High School, I took a little break from BW and gaming for the most part. I had kinda gave up on the "progamer serious BW" ideal, and lived my life a bit. Before I quit, I was able to get C+/B- on WGTour, PGTour, but I just didn't have the drive to play hard and practice hard. I had a good amount of APM and experience, but I didn't analyze myself or push myself as hard as I could have.
If you love something, let it go...
Love Found
I had beta access to StarCraft II, which was acquired by preordering SCII on Amazon, then realizing I didn't have the money and canceled my order before release, but still got the beta key up front though. I had terrible management of my money back then.
I was still a member of TeamLiquid, and I was here for the great divide of the SC:BW hardcore fanatics who would never switch, and all of the people who were eager to try the new game. I felt for both sides, and it kinda made me feel like a traitor, but at that point in my life I didn't care too much. With new life in SC2, I also witnessed the beginning of end for the SC:BW proscene. It was sad to see it all slowly go away piece by piece, but I suppose I had hope in change.
Since everyone started on a clean slate with a new game, I felt a little more inclined to improve myself this time around. A lot of my old mental habits were still there, but being slightly older and having a new outlook, it seemed like a better process. From 2010 to 2014 I had spent countless hours playing, and had thousands of games. Towards the end, I was streaming a good amount and was top masters on NA and mid master on KR. Again, I kinda stepped away.
Legacy Of The Void came out, but I didn't purchase it right away. I had been playing Magic The Gathering and playing some CS:GO here and there, so my focus was elsewhere. On September 1st, 2016 it hit me out of the blue that I wanted to play SC again. I bought LoTV and playing again felt great.
I also installed SCBW and actually have spent the past 6+ months playing again. News of the remaster and 1.18 is just icing on the sweet, sweet cake.
TeamLiquid has been a staple website for me for years and years, I've read countless blogs on TL, thousands of threads and posts, and have become a wiser person because of it all. 1,000 posts isn't really shit for some, but I don't always have a lot to say.
This time around, there's ultimate appreciation for the game I love. I realized that almost my entire life, no matter what's going on around me, SC has always been there. Like true love. Maybe even tough love...Like I had to figure it all out on my own. It wasn't begging me to come back, it didn't even have to say a word.
Onward.
