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On November 28 2015 03:39 B.I.G. wrote:
Who said anything about pills man. I agree that those should be last resort. Just go talk to someone who might be able to help you pin point what it is that's bothering you. You are making simple therapeutic conversation sound like the psychological equivalent of open heart surgery while it is more like going to the doctor to ask why your bum is itchy.
A psychiatrist is the kind of guy that might describe you meds, but people like psychologists and psychotherapists are people that have a deep understanding of the human psyche and are often quite apt at helping you realize what the problem is yourself.
So don't be scared and just go talk to someone. You're not going in to a straight jacket. Thank god that nowadays people are starting to understand and accept that you can be mental illness or any kind of discomfort is something that is real and can be treated. No need to take unhappiness for granted.
Good post. Those who have suggested that seeing a therapist is somehow something different from "solving your problems" are misinformed and likely entirely too enveloped in the facts of their own situation to be of any assistance. Seeking professional psychological help is an appropriate and effective means of solving problems for many people.
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I can offer my perspective I guess. I suffer from chronic depression and I have been dealing with it since about adolescence, I am now 24. If it is something that you recognize as being chronic (that you have had for a long time and that doesn't go away, or will come and go) then you should seek help.
It is pretty well established that the best way of combating depression is a mixture of both therapy and medication (for people that have serious depression anyways). As for your question about what good is therapy, that is a pretty broad question and there are many potential benefits. But first, not all therapy is the same nor are all therapists. For mental health issues (in general really, but especially for mental health) it is important to find a Dr and a therapist that you like and clique with, which may take a few tries.
I actually am not in therapy at the moment but I have been and am looking to get back into it. Some of the benefits are:
One of the things about depression is that one often won't think about things rationally and look at everything through a negative lens, therapy can be a good way to address the feelings, and work through realizing that a) you are being irrational when you do this and b) how to realize what you are doing and how to try to combat this.
Also, there doesn't have to be, but there often are underlying reasons for depression. Or at the very least some things that you are unhappy with that can be worked on, which is another thing that can be addressed.
A therapist is also someone to talk to, that over time will become more and more familiar with what you are dealing with and you as a person, which can be invaluable. Friends or family might not know everything you are dealing with and you might not want to tell them all the gritty details, but with a therapist it is their job and it can be good to have someone that is familiar with you and your situation and who also happens to be a trained professional with these sorts of issues.
I just want to point out that a good doctor is important as well, but my situation is may be different in that I have several medical conditions that had gone unnoticed until I got a good doctor who actually tried to help. (I have sever sleep apnea, extremely low testosterone, a pituitary adenoma (benign tumor in the brain), all of which undoubtedly contribute to my depression).
Also, ignore the people who's advice is along the lines of "suck it up" or "just deal with it". These people have no idea what they are talking about and are just perpetuating the negative stereotypes that mental health has (you will find many people who will do this to you, especially if you are younger).
Anyways, I've rambled enough. But the answer is that yes, therapy can be helpful. If you have more questions just ask.
EDIT:
I may have made things sound too serious or scary. A big boundary for many people getting help is that they don't want to think of themselves as needing to talk to a shrink or be on pills, but as people have already said, that isn't something that happens right away anyways. If you are able to somewhat cope, which seems to be the case, then your 'treatment' would likely be quite minimal and wouldn't involve all the big and scary things that people think of. Regardless, a trained professional will be able to help you more than strangers on the internet can. If you have a family doctor that is a good place to start, mention what is going on and then they will recommend things to do, probably set up a meeting with both a psychiatrist and a therapist, who will then just evaluate you and determine what they think is going on and what they recommend as a course of action. Note that at all times it is in your control and you can do as little or as much as you want with what is recommended.
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When I get depressed its a very specific kind of feeling, kind of just like, imagine having all of your bones hollowed out, every ounce of flesh and muscle and tendon just feels immense, the weight of gravity just slowly pulling you to the floor 'til you're face down in the dirt.
Maybe I'll go to the school counsellor thing tomorrow and try and set up an appointment, might as well use my access to health insurance while I have it, 'cause when I graduate I'm back to having no real way to afford medical care of any variety.
Honestly Kickstart, I feel like I have some medical issues that may contribute, Im like 99% sure I have a deviated septum that gets to be pretty ungodly, when I was younger it would obstruct my breathing so badly that I would go to bed wondering if I would suffocate in my sleep. It still obstructs my breathing badly, it generally leads me to toss and turn every 2 - 3 minutes as the obstruction clears to whatever side of my head is facing the bed. Really miserable. Sleeping is hard.
And I have this weird visual thing, I googled it out of boredom once and it's called visual snow, kind of imagine TV static set to a low opacity overlying my vision a fair amount of the time. I think it has to do with the miserable migraine experiences I sometimes have (that I'm pretty sure are connected to my depression in some way or another.)
One thing that I worry about therapist wise is that they're not gonna tell me anything I don't already know or that their solutions are going to be not-feasible, ie. work less or some shit, like I KNOW that working less hard would be good for my fucking mental health but THATS THE ONLY WAY TO SUCCEED so what do I do?! Just give up on 4 miserable god forsaken years at this fucking shit hole art college? Just have every waking moment here go to waste? Embrace years of debt for nothing?
Like, I'm already poor, my household income is 25K p/year (from my single mom working two jobs) supporting a 20 year old sibling who will not/is not capable of work, and a 30 year old sibling who is/was a drunk/drug addict, plus me, the only "stable" kid who goes to expensive ass fuckin' art college.
One of the serious things that fucks me up depression wise is this whole life situation, like WTF do I do about this? I wrack my brain and theres just no fuckin' solution to it.
I could run with my education and try my damnedest to become a working artist, but where that lands me sends me into horrible depression and requires me to spend fucking time AFTER college continuing to fucking train when I'll have to be working all the fuckin' time to support myself.
God I just think about the people here who have to try and worry so much less because they're a bunch of rich fucks who have all the time and resources in the world to pursue any whim or dream they have and it just pisses me off.
"Oh, yeah, my dad is friends with management in Pixar, so I'm gonna intern there over the summer" FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU
"Oh yeah, I'm gonna go to Nintendo's special vacation home over spring break cause my dad is friends with the president of Nintendo" FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate being poor, I have knowing the solution to not being poor and I hate that I have to fight through depression to pursue the solution, I hate my classmates, I hate my life situation, I hate my time at this school, I wish I had pursued something simple and practical with good job prospects so that I could actually graduate college WITH job prospects instead of the awesomeness of having to wait years to hone my fuckin' skills in my own fucking time while working to pay back my student debt and making a living.
What I hate so much about this whole situation is the progression is clear and in front of me but it feels like no matter what I do I'm destined to be fucked.
Boy was that cathartic.
My depression often manifests angrily. I'm proud to say that I'm really good at anger management though.
Oh, and what are the costs therapy wise? Its one of the primary reasons I haven't really considered it too much is that I just don't imagine I can afford it once I leave school.
Its been 8 years since I've been to the dentist, and if it wasn't for the required school medical check ups it'd have been 12 years since I had been to the doctor, and that last time would've been an emergency room visit where I got my head cracked open. (Its cool though, it left a scar on my forehead which means I got to be Harry Potter when we played Harry Potter in Elementary School.)
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Sounds like life dealt you a shitty hand of cards and I'm sorry to hear that.. I don't know how to fix your life so I'm not going to say anything about that, except that I think fixing your sleep apnea can already be a huge relief because then at least you will have peace when you sleep..
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On November 30 2015 13:30 B.I.G. wrote:
Sounds like life dealt you a shitty hand of cards and I'm sorry to hear that.. I don't know how to fix your life so I'm not going to say anything about that, except that I think fixing your sleep apnea can already be a huge relief because then at least you will have peace when you sleep..
I always try and keep in mind that its not as bad as it could be, and to be honest Im kinda (like the slightest tiniest sliver) glad that I've grown up with a series of cautionary tales about what happens when you fall to,
1. drug use
2. alcoholism
3. lazy piece of shittitude
Like, my family life is a black hole of depressing shit, but I try and think of it all as a lesson to avoid the fate of the miserable wretches to whom I am related.
I think thats a large part of the mortally wounding fear I have, winding up like the wretches while I live with the wretches after school.
Lifes a bitch. :D
Is curing sleep apnea simple/easy? Its like a surgery thing right? To right the deviated septum? It'd be nice to find the time to get that done while I have my last few months of health insurance
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Lol counselling services are booked for weeks, fuck me I guess, huh
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I don't know, go ahead and see if you can gain anything from it.
Not quite sure what to say. The situation you're in is a breeding ground for depression, it seems to me. And depression would make it hard to see beyond your current situation. Maybe therapy will help you see the other side... That said, treating the medical condition without finding a way out of a toxic living situation will only get you so far.
Sometimes I myself wish I had gone into engineering despite the hurdles that were in my way. Shit would be easier now.
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The living situation is probably the most psychologically damning aspect for me, the number of bloody fights/screaming matchs I've had to physically break up has me at the point where Im about to call the police myself.
At least when I'm there. I'm sheltered in the isolationary hell of school for now. 
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On December 01 2015 01:30 Zambrah wrote:
Lol counselling services are booked for weeks, fuck me I guess, huh
It is not going to be a short-term thing anyways, so a few weeks to start it shouldn't hold you back.....
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Yeah you got a lot going on Zambrah, sorry to hear that. It is difficult to not worry so much about things outside of your control but it is something everyone should work on. The medical conditions you described need to be addressed immediately, as things like the sleep issues you've described will always make you feel worse than you normally would and are a relatively easy 'fix'. If you are on health insurance get it all sorted now while you only have to pay copays.
My home life is also a huge factor as me and my step father don't get along at all, and what makes it worse is the feeling of being stuck and not being able to get out. I am unable to work and my doctors have advised applying for disability which I have, but it has been almost 2 years since applying and I haven't had a hearing yet (denied 3 times because I am so young). If I didn't have an amazing mother I would be on the streets presumably.
You just have to do what you can to improve your own situation and to improve the things you can. As I said the physical problems are a good place to start as those will have sure fixes for the most part.
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Im maybe hopeful I can get something done over winter break or during the wintersession of school. Getting anything done during school is usually unlikely though just because all of the classes are pretty high demand.
I would feel better overall if I thought my situation was more easily improvable, my chosen career path is so not conducive to social mobility. ;_;
On a brighter note; cheers to caring mothers! 
EDIT: And random stream of consciousness things, does anyone else ever do stuff sheerly for the theatricality of it? Like not even if people are around. Like when I'm down, I tend to drink, but not because I like it, in fact I HATE the taste of alcohol, but I do it for some weird theatricality like, I'm sad, thusly I should be drinking" like I'm some weird actor in a movie or something.
I dunno, it's weird, I do it a lot and I think it helps me in social situations, but like, feels weird sometimes when I'm doing something for no reason.
I like to think of it like I'm an actor and my life is a movie and god's watching so why not give him a good show.
I dunno. Weird. Random thought.
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Lol, my senior show group got picked apart and poached.
Welp, I give up. Entirely. If I can not do commencement I'm not going to do commencement, and I'm not going to do a senior show.
Whatever enthusiasm or hope left in me about anything about school here is sapped and gone. 0%.
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On December 02 2015 11:38 Zambrah wrote:Im maybe hopeful I can get something done over winter break or during the wintersession of school. Getting anything done during school is usually unlikely though just because all of the classes are pretty high demand. I would feel better overall if I thought my situation was more easily improvable, my chosen career path is so not conducive to social mobility. ;_; On a brighter note; cheers to caring mothers! EDIT: And random stream of consciousness things, does anyone else ever do stuff sheerly for the theatricality of it? Like not even if people are around. Like when I'm down, I tend to drink, but not because I like it, in fact I HATE the taste of alcohol, but I do it for some weird theatricality like, I'm sad, thusly I should be drinking" like I'm some weird actor in a movie or something. I dunno, it's weird, I do it a lot and I think it helps me in social situations, but like, feels weird sometimes when I'm doing something for no reason. I like to think of it like I'm an actor and my life is a movie and god's watching so why not give him a good show. I dunno. Weird. Random thought.
Hi. Don't do that. It's a really bad habit and it will make your life worse in every way. Drinking alone / drinking when you're sad, I mean. No you're not the only person who has taken cues from movies and phrases like 'drowning your sadness' and it's basically the seeds of alcoholism.
I'm sorry a thing you had your hopes up for did not work out. Try to diversify your hopes so that it's not as devastating when something doesn't go according to plan. Sometimes you need to go with the flow a little and do what there is opportunity to do, without lamenting what seems to be shut out for now. In StarCraft and in life, the more complicated a strategy and the more things it depends on to succeed, the more likely it is to fail. Simple goals with simple requirements are usually the most successful.
But seriously, life's tough. Hang in there and don't give in to bad habits.
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I don't make enough to support alcoholism, usually when I drink its pretty much entirely symbolic, like a shot of whiskey mixed with coke. Luckily I grew up in a house of alcoholics/drug users, so I'm very cautious about developing actual drug/alcohol habits.
Unfortunately it seems my hopes exist almost purely to be dashed. I dunno what joy I'm supposed to find in life because whenever I glimpse hope for a great day its summarily annihilated.
Like, at this point I've accepted that its just in my nature, I plan and hope and its destroyed and I'm miserable.
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On December 09 2015 08:58 Zambrah wrote:
I don't make enough to support alcoholism, usually when I drink its pretty much entirely symbolic, like a shot of whiskey mixed with coke. Luckily I grew up in a house of alcoholics/drug users, so I'm very cautious about developing actual drug/alcohol habits.
Unfortunately it seems my hopes exist almost purely to be dashed. I dunno what joy I'm supposed to find in life because whenever I glimpse hope for a great day its summarily annihilated.
Like, at this point I've accepted that its just in my nature, I plan and hope and its destroyed and I'm miserable.
That which does not kill me makes me stronger #Nietzsche
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On December 09 2015 09:12 imgbaby wrote:Show nested quote +On December 09 2015 08:58 Zambrah wrote:
I don't make enough to support alcoholism, usually when I drink its pretty much entirely symbolic, like a shot of whiskey mixed with coke. Luckily I grew up in a house of alcoholics/drug users, so I'm very cautious about developing actual drug/alcohol habits.
Unfortunately it seems my hopes exist almost purely to be dashed. I dunno what joy I'm supposed to find in life because whenever I glimpse hope for a great day its summarily annihilated.
Like, at this point I've accepted that its just in my nature, I plan and hope and its destroyed and I'm miserable. That which does not kill me makes me stronger #Nietzsche
Are you saying I should become a philosopher?
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On December 09 2015 09:28 Zambrah wrote:Show nested quote +On December 09 2015 09:12 imgbaby wrote:On December 09 2015 08:58 Zambrah wrote:
I don't make enough to support alcoholism, usually when I drink its pretty much entirely symbolic, like a shot of whiskey mixed with coke. Luckily I grew up in a house of alcoholics/drug users, so I'm very cautious about developing actual drug/alcohol habits.
Unfortunately it seems my hopes exist almost purely to be dashed. I dunno what joy I'm supposed to find in life because whenever I glimpse hope for a great day its summarily annihilated.
Like, at this point I've accepted that its just in my nature, I plan and hope and its destroyed and I'm miserable. That which does not kill me makes me stronger #Nietzsche Are you saying I should become a philosopher?
Maybe.
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On December 09 2015 09:48 imgbaby wrote:Show nested quote +On December 09 2015 09:28 Zambrah wrote:On December 09 2015 09:12 imgbaby wrote:On December 09 2015 08:58 Zambrah wrote:
I don't make enough to support alcoholism, usually when I drink its pretty much entirely symbolic, like a shot of whiskey mixed with coke. Luckily I grew up in a house of alcoholics/drug users, so I'm very cautious about developing actual drug/alcohol habits.
Unfortunately it seems my hopes exist almost purely to be dashed. I dunno what joy I'm supposed to find in life because whenever I glimpse hope for a great day its summarily annihilated.
Like, at this point I've accepted that its just in my nature, I plan and hope and its destroyed and I'm miserable. That which does not kill me makes me stronger #Nietzsche Are you saying I should become a philosopher? Maybe.
What does not kill me makes me a philosopher.
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EPT
