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BLOG #5
Previous entries:
So I have a problem finishing projects. I'm told this is a common problem amongst DIY, crafty, idealist dreamer guys. They have a million ideas and no results. They self identify as an "idea man" thinking that makes up for it, but the problem with "idea men" is that ideas are inherintly useless. Everyone has ideas and everyone can set a project in motion.
It's like the path to the top of Mnt Everest. Any one can take the first steps along that path and begin that journey, but only a select few tough SOBs can actually reach the summit. Some people give up when they consider the enormity of the task. Some people give up when they get tired. Some people, like me, push through the fatigue for 90% of the way and get high enough to see the summit, think "that's close enough", take a selfie to post on twitter and then come back down.
But it's not an issue of fatigue it's more an issue of focus and motivation.
So that's where I am. I'm currently writting an AI from scratch for SC2. Why? Because it would be a challenge, Because I wasn't sure if it would work, Because I was curious.
When I didn't know if I could, I was motivated like a mad man. Now that I know that I can I don't care as much.
Does that even make sense? I know I'm not alone, but do others understand that mindset? Most people when they are in a race and see the finish line dig deep and get a last spurt of speed to finish the race. Why then do people like me see the finish line and think "eh", lose motivation and slow down?
Are others here the same way? How do you make sense of it and how do you stay on task later on in the development stage? Can it be overcome with structure/routine/journals/music/coffee/etc, Do you think it can be effected by other issues like depression, ADDHD etc or is it just a funcamental property of what makes up a person?
  
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I'm not sure, on one hand I sometimes spiral into endless perfectionist tweeks, trying to make it as functional as possible, but often far too early on such that it delays the more essential rest. But I haven't really had that, more just like got entrenched so deep into the mud that I just don't want to finish it.
So no not like you sorry.
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"X is never completed, only abandoned." This has been attributed to a couple of people and it largely true.
The lack of motivation is a normal thing. Once it becomes doable and the challenge of learning is replaced by the challenge of completion then it largely becomes a chore. How you find the motivation to come back is up to you. I find talking about the project that I'm doing and getting other people excited brings my own investment back into doing it.
I, too, want to write my own SC2 AI once I've got StarGraphed completed/abandoned. Having the AI pull from a huge resource of previous games would be awesome.
Unfortunately there's no diagnosis for ADHD or anything for it, it's perfectly standard. To be great you've got to beat it.
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<3Forever favorite turtle!
I sympathize and what you typed does make sense.
(I would have liked to type "i sympathize", (but I'm on a short leash) to emphasize how small and unimportant I think that "i" is (to you or anyone else reading this) !!!)
Everyone has ideas and everyone can set a project in motion
I totally disagree with that ! And please do allow yourself to feel a little better (a lot more special among all those unique snowflakes) by trusting me on this, "idea guys" do a vital huge part of the work, they go where others don't, they show that it was worth the work.
So for one to be in between these two (the idea guy with no courage who just has the idea and tells it to someone else, and the guy who goes further than others and becomes a "reference" by working her/his ass off "finishing") is the standard place.
90% .. 9% .. life is not made of such awkward and mean maths, success is only the unveiling of undiscovered territory, it leads to other challenges and so on.
The fall and fall from the high of
Now that I know that I can I don't care as much
is human and not as bad as all that. Just another challenge in itself.
Not everything needs to be finished to exist, to inspire others or even one's own future self...
The world is made by those who show up, that they show up again and again is the point!
Showing up for this glorious adventure is the hardest part, you will not succumb.
You show up! Feel good!
Now go .. do!
ps: i trust in turtles! <3
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I know the feeling. It is like when I did fansubs, it was fun to learn how to do it. Releasing a tiny bit of stuff. Then I just straight quit when I had learnt enough to feel like I could do it without help.
Same with scanlating.
Same with learning Japanese, I can watch anime without subs, check. Done.
Programming, I can write "Hello World" in a pop up. Check.
Learning VBA in Excel, figure out how to solve the current problem. Don't bother with making it pretty, hardly even bother with solving it. Just figure out how and test it.
Writing. Rough draft the made up language, the characters and world. Write chapter one. Done.
I have the same problem I think. But I don't see it as a problem. I more see it as wanting to test something, finding out it isn't for me and moving on to the next thing. I am fine with being that way my entire life, which makes work boring since it is iterating and improving on things you did yesterday and will do tomorrow.
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I have the same problem for sure... I usually deal with it by getting really mad at myself, honestly. I hate it when something I was really into doesn't see the light of day because I couldn't put out the last 10%. As long as I keep that in mind once that feeling starts to creep in, I can usually keep it out for long enough to finish what I'm working on, because I know I'll hate myself even more if I don't.
It generally works too - I've let enough awesome ideas fall apart in my life, I have no shortage of fuel for my rage :D And it makes finishing whatever you're working on twice as satisfying when you're finished.
I don't know why I never want to finish things, but I can't do it by convincing myself - I usually have to do it by abusing myself 
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It's pretty easy to lose the ambition to take on a project when so much time is consumed by things like work and school. I think sometimes we get so used to working because we have to that we forget how to work because we want to. Although, you say you usually get most of the way through a project before losing motivation so maybe that isn't the case with you.
I'm more of the type of person that tries to figure out everything before I even start a project and then I end up doing nothing because I get tired of planning it. As I get older I get better about turning my ideas into actions but I still haven't really followed through with a big project that I can say I'm proud of.
Part of the reason for that is that I am busy with things like work where I am making progress and being successful so that makes up for it a little bit. But it is way more satisfying to do something for yourself, by yourself, and come out of it with something that you are proud of. Sometime soon I hope to make myself an awesome new computer desk; something like this
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I understand you man.
Sometimes on starcraft I get demotivated when I win too much against well ranked players.
As if it gets boring when you achieve a part of your work/self-improvement.
Like, you work to achieve something and when you realise you almost did it, the goal is not motivating anymore, well, I don't know.
Maybe the goal was to see if you could do it, and now that you know you can, you stop.
I'm working on my issues, I hope you will be able to fix yours.
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I think a lot of times people just realise their idea was bad / dumb / a waste of time, and cut their losses. Which is good. The human compulsion is that once you've invested in something enough, you keep investing in it even though it is garbage. Thankfully 2 days screwing around doesn't usually count as an investment in our heads. More like 2 weeks worth of salary after living expenses feels like an investment.
I tend to decide if something is a waste of time in the planning stage, so the projects I start I tend to see through because I'm good at knowing what I don't have patience for. I also tend to choose projects which I think have transferable skills to learn, so the product of the project isn't the only goal.
Goal setting is a skill, and it can be learned. It requires understanding of yourself and how much time you can commit, as well as a fair amount of resistance to allowing people to set goals for you (especially if people admire you and think you can do more than you can).
I advise you try to set smaller goals and see what you can get done, where your limits are etc. Start with things that are likely to be successes. Or be satisfied that you like to muck about without actually completing things, that's not inherently bad when it comes to hobbies.
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When I didn't know if I could, I was motivated like a mad man. Now that I know that I can I don't care as much.
Does that even make sense? I know I'm not alone, but do others understand that mindset?
Yes, that completely makes sense, I've felt the same way often.
I've found that it's worth pursuing these things even if you leave them half-finished; you still learned something along the way and the process itself was enjoyable. Think of it like going for a walk in a park you've never been to -- you don't need to walk every inch of the park to get a sense of it, but never having gone to the park would be far poorer than enriching yourself by visiting it once.
Another comment: the things you're really passionate about will keep drawing you back in. Even so, sometimes you need a rotation, to take a break, make sure you have a balance, etc. It's different for everyone. Part of working on projects bigger than the individual human scale where instant gratification is available is that you need to meter your own drive and attentiveness to it. At some point you have to pack up your motivation into bundles and allot yourself the right amount to make it to the end. If that makes sense. It diminishes the rush of enthusiasm but the sense of achievement can be worth it.
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Setting strict deadlines helps a lot, especially when creativity is involved. Waiting for "inspiration" is bullshit, it's more about getting shit done and constant improvement. There's also no such thing as "perfection". The maximum amount of time and effort put in equals to the maximum amount of perceived quality. If the final result kind of sucks, get over it and start over. At least you've finished something.
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great perspectives everyone. EatThePath I like your garden anolagy to discovery. I'm not sure I've been able to draw any conclussions yet but I'll be thinking it over and you've all given me new angles to look at the issue. Thank you for your thoughtful responses 
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EPT
