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I hate dating. I never liked it, going through the hoops of changing up your attire, focusing on your positive attributes, lining up memorable experiences in the past week, and foregoing the temptation to disclose all the shit that’s been bothering you in recent memory. But unfortunately, it’s the ritual every man has to go through until they find something useful out of it. Some are natural at it, some are stuck in perpetual limbo. I’m the latter and it’s been quite the experience. I try to fix myself up. Filter for social purposes, but after today’s 0/24 speed dating session, I think it’s time I reconsider how I am actually.
What’s fun, is that I’m just generally not a happy person. I enjoy other peoples’ company and good stories, and I’m reasonably confident in the activities I pursue, but that’s not enough to woe anyone once they take a good look at my tired eyes and disorganized style of conversation. Sometimes I feel trapped in my body and mind, inescapably a broken series of tapestries of ruminations and heartache, telling me all these unkind adjectives of who I am, making me forget the ones that matter. So let them be pricks I say. I shouldn’t turn into a bitter asshole cause of it. No, I’ll be charitable, because if I am not, I let someone else take over, and control me. There is an art in forgiving yourself, a difficult one, but one should always strive for.
I tell myself, I should avoid it, until I get my life sorted out. You know, get a real job, get fit, work on your aesthetics and find non-sexual adventures that fulfill your niches. They’re reasonable goals, and worth pursuing. But I felt good once. She stands out, and I can’t seem to get rid of her. I’ve burnt every picture, closed off all social media, but I know she’s happy. She’s fucking someone else, and there’s nothing there for me. And that’s enough to keep me tormented and sleepless. It’s pathetic I tell myself. Get over it, I tell myself. There’s better, there’s plenty of brilliant, sweet, good looking women out there. But not right now. Not this version of me. Right now, I just need to cry, I need to let go. I need to be pathetic, just for a few minutes, so I can get back up and put on that mask. No one is entitled to give a shit about you, nor love you. You carry on with that in mind, and get the fuck back up. It’s conditional, competitive, and filled with uncertainty, but it’s the natural order of things and there’s no way out of it, but its zero if you don’t try at all.
But above else, please be kind to those “losers”, sexless men, and misfits. I have learned from being many of those people and surrounded by those who have struggled, of the kind of wretched sociopathy that comes from it. I have known people at my university who have killed themselves, one guy I knew particularly in the esports club, who did it impulsively. So please, whether it’s the internet or the people walking next to you on the streets, be charitable.
 
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That sucks. I was pretty unhappy for a while. Then I moved to Korea and my life became awesome. At least, I'm satisfied with it. I no longer live there, but I always think back to it and have some inclinations to return forever.
No cure but time, probably.
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United Kingdom10443 Posts
I thought this was going to be a totally different way more awesome blog
but despite that I do feel sorry for the OP. My advice is just to make yourself happy and the best version of yourself regardless of another person, and if a woman happens to fit into that, then that's great.
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What’s fun, is that I’m just generally not a happy person.
Yeah that doesn't appeal to potential dates I think  But quite frankly, if someone isn't going to like you for who you are, then a relationship with them isn't feasible anyway. Don't worry 
This thread might be helpful if you're looking for dating advice: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/general/273445-dating-hows-your-luck
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Have you considered monkhood?
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Even those with good aesthetics are frustrated with dating. It's more about personality. And being 100% confident in the eyes of a female.
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On May 29 2015 02:12 Doodsmack wrote:
Even those with good aesthetics are frustrated with dating. It's more about personality. And being 100% confident in the eyes of a female.
If women care more about personality than looks, then that's amazing Superficial, shallow men (and women) deserve to be more frustrated with dating than their good-intentioned, well-substanced counterparts. Confidence (but not arrogance) is always appealing too.
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I know how you feel man, because I felt the same once. If you want to talk just PM me.
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On May 29 2015 02:41 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On May 29 2015 02:12 Doodsmack wrote:
Even those with good aesthetics are frustrated with dating. It's more about personality. And being 100% confident in the eyes of a female. If women care more about personality than looks, then that's amazing Superficial, shallow men (and women) deserve to be more frustrated with dating than their good-intentioned, well-substanced counterparts. Confidence (but not arrogance) is always appealing too.
For the most part, I like who I am and if I talked extensively about my circumstances, most people agree it's not a happy place or condition to be. But that doesn't translate well into dating, sometimes someone can relate to the struggles and there's a connection, but most cases it makes someone uncomfortable especially if you're just getting to get to know them. I don't have a problem with it, but people are looking to have fun, and that's something I forget about since I've been in dark places for such a long time.
Overall, I'm glad I tried, but it really reminded me the importance of preparation and social expectations. And in all honesty, I'm just a bit heartbroken from my previous one, but I know it'll pass someday. Was hoping dating could catalyze the process, but I still think I'm growing from the experience, even if humiliation and rejection is the price to pay.
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On May 29 2015 08:37 QuietIdiot wrote:Show nested quote +On May 29 2015 02:41 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On May 29 2015 02:12 Doodsmack wrote:
Even those with good aesthetics are frustrated with dating. It's more about personality. And being 100% confident in the eyes of a female. If women care more about personality than looks, then that's amazing Superficial, shallow men (and women) deserve to be more frustrated with dating than their good-intentioned, well-substanced counterparts. Confidence (but not arrogance) is always appealing too. For the most part, I like who I am and if I talked extensively about my circumstances, most people agree it's not a happy place or condition to be. But that doesn't translate well into dating, sometimes someone can relate to the struggles and there's a connection, but most cases it makes someone uncomfortable especially if you're just getting to get to know them. I don't have a problem with it, but people are looking to have fun, and that's something I forget about since I've been in dark places for such a long time. Overall, I'm glad I tried, but it really reminded me the importance of preparation and social expectations. And in all honesty, I'm just a bit heartbroken from my previous one, but I know it'll pass someday. Was hoping dating could catalyze the process, but I still think I'm growing from the experience, even if humiliation and rejection is the price to pay.
Gotcha. Best of luck man  it'll get easier!
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You have someone to get over. Sometimes it takes longer... If you keep focusing on relationships of course it's going to do nothing but remind you of the one you no longer have. You need to find something else that brings you joy and purpose. Only once you know yourself can you attempt to become part of a pair.
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EPT
