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Active: 5049 users

I have a rat problem

Blogs > Chocolate
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
Chocolate
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States2350 Posts
February 18 2015 02:52 GMT
#1
I can't really tell how to deal with this rat.

My friend and I enjoy eating cheese and crackers in our room. Occasionally the cheese and crackers are very stinky and loud, and the smell wafts into the hall outside our room. Normally this wouldn't be a problem due to the way we consume these cheese and crackers, as the smell is supposed to be very faint by design. We also occasionally invite no more than a dozen friends over to drink bread-water, grape-water, grain-water, potato-water, etc. and put on some fine tunes for a few hours. Again, usually the sound and smell are detectable from the hallway, but not in other people's places of residence.

We have a resident advisor that lives on our hallway. He is a very good resident advisor, and if he ever smells any cheese and crackers or hears celebrations toasting bread-water, he doesn't care and also let's us know when to look out for other resident advisors.

The problem is this rat that lives directly across from me. This rat reports any smell of these cheese and crackers directly to my resident advisor, and due to the RA's inaction has (unconfirmed) threatened to go to others. It also has complained several times about our consumption of bread-water, which while technically unallowed in this dorm, is given a blind eye by RAs. The rat somehow got a bid to a fraternity, the same one my RA is in, which complicates things.

A little about this rat. The rat works out quite a lot (but only its upper body) and has a 4" knife. It is very "country" and really into traditionally macho things like guns, cars, etc. It has absolutely zero friends and invites itself into things. It is very dominant in social situations and very bossy. Its roommate heavily dislikes him. It sometimes comes into my room to ask to use our printer. People joke about it being autistic.Personally I think it has some sort of personality disorder or is at the very least a combination of massive insecurity and an autism spectrum disorder.

Recently, the rat's complaining has caused the RA to reach his breaking point, and threatened probation if any other incident occurs.

I obviously can't do anything to hurt the rat, because that could get me in trouble. That said, I still need to figure out a way to get the rat under control, and I can't think of one. One boon is that the rat has also got another person in trouble on our hallway for smelly cheese and crackers, and that person has a decent amount of influence.

I'd appreciate if you gave me ideas on how to get the rat to shut up, because it's really bothering me. Right now the only valid response I can think of is to yell at it

**
Probemicro
Profile Joined February 2014
3708 Posts
February 18 2015 02:58 GMT
#2
maybe you should stop calling yourself chocolate and the "rat" will go away
Zambrah
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States7393 Posts
February 18 2015 03:19 GMT
#3
I would call Pest Control.
Incremental change is the Democrat version of Trickle Down economics.
Coagulation
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States9633 Posts
February 18 2015 03:24 GMT
#4
rats urinate on each other to show dominance.
HaRuHi
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
1220 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-02-18 03:29:39
February 18 2015 03:29 GMT
#5
We have a saying, that goes, you catch rats with bacon.
So your cheese and crackers are obviously useless,
so here is what you do:
Make a track of Bacon to lure it out of the house,
then you gotta be quick, also you need person that lives with rat.
Now crumble the crackers in the hallway and smear the cheese on the walls.

Now when the Rat returns, full of bacon, it will go nuts.
When they search your room, you will have no crackers, or empty crackerboxes to be found anywhere,
in the meantime, the person living with rat will have hidden itself under the rats bed,
when it goes to sleep that person has to knife the rat.

Problem solved.
TelecoM
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States10787 Posts
February 18 2015 04:40 GMT
#6
On February 18 2015 12:29 HaRuHi wrote:
We have a saying, that goes, you catch rats with bacon.
So your cheese and crackers are obviously useless,
so here is what you do:
Make a track of Bacon to lure it out of the house,
then you gotta be quick, also you need person that lives with rat.
Now crumble the crackers in the hallway and smear the cheese on the walls.

Now when the Rat returns, full of bacon, it will go nuts.
When they search your room, you will have no crackers, or empty crackerboxes to be found anywhere,
in the meantime, the person living with rat will have hidden itself under the rats bed,
when it goes to sleep that person has to knife the rat.

Problem solved.


LOL
AKA: TelecoM[WHITE] Protoss fighting
Chocolate
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States2350 Posts
February 18 2015 05:07 GMT
#7
On February 18 2015 12:29 HaRuHi wrote:
We have a saying, that goes, you catch rats with bacon.
So your cheese and crackers are obviously useless,
so here is what you do:
Make a track of Bacon to lure it out of the house,
then you gotta be quick, also you need person that lives with rat.
Now crumble the crackers in the hallway and smear the cheese on the walls.

Now when the Rat returns, full of bacon, it will go nuts.
When they search your room, you will have no crackers, or empty crackerboxes to be found anywhere,
in the meantime, the person living with rat will have hidden itself under the rats bed,
when it goes to sleep that person has to knife the rat.

Problem solved.

As much as I love your answer, I don't think I want to get the rat killed
Cascade
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
Australia5405 Posts
February 18 2015 05:58 GMT
#8
Why the conflict? Invite your neighbour to the party. That's the standard solution in general when you want to party but are afraid of disturbing the neighbours. At the very least they get the warning, and if they decline the invitation you can invite them to come and knock on the door if they are disturbed by the noise (they probably won't but being encouraged to it helps the neighbour relations).

And no, referring to getting drunk as bread-water doesn't make it any more civilised + Show Spoiler +
very likely you make more noise than you think, only that the other neighbours are too nice/timid/conflict avoiding tell you, specially as that would involve siding with your unpopular neighbour that doesn't have many friends
, and no, referring to your neighbour as a socially disabled autistic rat will not improve the relationship with him, and is frankly quite insulting.

So as he doesn't have many friends, invite him to join and with some luck he'll enjoy (or at least enjoy being invited) and problem is solved. Try to get on friendlier terms with him in general.

If the problem persists and your neighbour continues to be disturbed by your parties, then it seems like he has the rules on his side, and you just have to quiet down the parties a bit, or go to one of your many friends that you invite over.

glgl
Liquid`Nazgul
Profile Blog Joined September 2002
22427 Posts
February 18 2015 07:22 GMT
#9
lol this is great
Administrator
Grumbels
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Netherlands7032 Posts
February 18 2015 10:56 GMT
#10
Why drag rats into this? They're innocent and lovable creatures that don't deserve to be pawns in your scheme to insult your neighbor for being bothered by your disruptive parties.
Well, now I tell you, I never seen good come o' goodness yet. Him as strikes first is my fancy; dead men don't bite; them's my views--amen, so be it.
ahswtini
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Northern Ireland22212 Posts
February 18 2015 11:04 GMT
#11
maybe its just an acronym for Resident Advisor Tattle-tail
"As I've said, balance isn't about strategies or counters, it's about probability and statistics." - paralleluniverse
PowderedWater
Profile Blog Joined July 2013
15 Posts
February 18 2015 18:39 GMT
#12
This made me fucking giggle. Buy a vaporizer for your cheese and crackers. Smells more like popcorn than cheese and crackers. At least to me, someone who doesn't eat cheese and crackers. Beat them to death with the long dick of kindness though. If someone has a problem with you, or what you do. Let them have it. Just, be as cordial to them as possible. They probably have views of cheesers (those who eat cheese and crackers) that make them feel hostile to you. Just show then you aren't a shitty person, and that you got your shit tight. Eventually they will stop messing with you.




Or you could go other places to smoke your weed.
Your daily reminder that DotA 2 is also free to uninstall. (I really should.)
Chocolate
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States2350 Posts
February 18 2015 22:50 GMT
#13
On February 18 2015 14:58 Cascade wrote:
Why the conflict? Invite your neighbour to the party. That's the standard solution in general when you want to party but are afraid of disturbing the neighbours. At the very least they get the warning, and if they decline the invitation you can invite them to come and knock on the door if they are disturbed by the noise (they probably won't but being encouraged to it helps the neighbour relations).

And no, referring to getting drunk as bread-water doesn't make it any more civilised + Show Spoiler +
very likely you make more noise than you think, only that the other neighbours are too nice/timid/conflict avoiding tell you, specially as that would involve siding with your unpopular neighbour that doesn't have many friends
, and no, referring to your neighbour as a socially disabled autistic rat will not improve the relationship with him, and is frankly quite insulting.

So as he doesn't have many friends, invite him to join and with some luck he'll enjoy (or at least enjoy being invited) and problem is solved. Try to get on friendlier terms with him in general.

If the problem persists and your neighbour continues to be disturbed by your parties, then it seems like he has the rules on his side, and you just have to quiet down the parties a bit, or go to one of your many friends that you invite over.

glgl

Well firstly it's pledging a fraternity right now so it isn't allowed to just go to some party and drink, secondly I've been in social situations with it before and it's just unbearable. Since normally our gatherings don't exceed twelve, it would ruin the gathering for everyone. It also doesn't drink much in general because it's very health-conscious. So it would probably decline, or come and be the only one not partaking in festivities, which would be bad.

It definitely does have the rules on its side, but I think most people know what constitutes a decent way to treat a fellow creature is not at all determined by the law. And I'm not mean to it, I've gone to a place to eat just with it for two fucking hours before, we took each others' pictures for a scholarship, etc. It's the fact that it thinks like a 65 year old man does and tries to impose that upon us youngins
On February 19 2015 03:39 PowderedWater wrote:
This made me fucking giggle. Buy a vaporizer for your cheese and crackers. Smells more like popcorn than cheese and crackers. At least to me, someone who doesn't eat cheese and crackers. Beat them to death with the long dick of kindness though. If someone has a problem with you, or what you do. Let them have it. Just, be as cordial to them as possible. They probably have views of cheesers (those who eat cheese and crackers) that make them feel hostile to you. Just show then you aren't a shitty person, and that you got your shit tight. Eventually they will stop messing with you.




Or you could go other places to smoke your weed.

I was vaporizing my cheese and crackers, that's the problem, nothing could have smelled loud or been obnoxious unless it was fucking breathing in my own breath.

Think I'm just gonna wait it out for a week and talk to it once it's done pledging, I don't feel so vindictive.
Jerubaal
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States7684 Posts
February 19 2015 00:59 GMT
#14
I love how people talk about how reasonable and unprejudiced they are and then characterize their enemies as subhumans. Like that slide on imgur where the person describes the people who make a joke about his friend as "rednecks". Ok, making a joke about a slight accent is a human rights abuse but insulting their cultural make up is fine.
I'm not stupid, a marauder just shot my brain.
Djzapz
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada10681 Posts
February 19 2015 01:44 GMT
#15
On February 19 2015 09:59 Jerubaal wrote:
I love how people talk about how reasonable and unprejudiced they are and then characterize their enemies as subhumans. Like that slide on imgur where the person describes the people who make a joke about his friend as "rednecks". Ok, making a joke about a slight accent is a human rights abuse but insulting their cultural make up is fine.

Did you actively try to get offended here, buddy? We can make your stay on the Internet more comfortable if you'd like!

Also rats are not subhuman, you racist.
"My incompetence with power tools had been increasing exponentially over the course of 20 years spent inhaling experimental oven cleaners"
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32157 Posts
February 19 2015 15:10 GMT
#16
let the frat he's pledging know he's a narc
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
Kazahk
Profile Blog Joined April 2012
United States385 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-02-19 18:00:55
February 19 2015 17:52 GMT
#17
My sister does invasive surgery for endocrinology on rats so I suggest donating your rat to science!
EDIT: this mostly involves castration and induced strokes.
Rngesus blessed me with a tooth half, then shunned me with a spinach roll.
Chocolate
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States2350 Posts
February 19 2015 18:04 GMT
#18
On February 19 2015 09:59 Jerubaal wrote:
I love how people talk about how reasonable and unprejudiced they are and then characterize their enemies as subhumans. Like that slide on imgur where the person describes the people who make a joke about his friend as "rednecks". Ok, making a joke about a slight accent is a human rights abuse but insulting their cultural make up is fine.

It's obviously a joke you dope. I thought it was funny to say that the rat smelled my cheese and crackers

And letting the frat he's pledging know won't do shit, I'm pretty sure most of them hate him too and it's a really lame goody-goody frat so some might even be fucking proud of him. A lot of those motherfuckers are afraid of cheese and crackers for some reason
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
February 19 2015 18:07 GMT
#19
If I would be just trying to mind my health and my studies I would also get pissed if 4 nights a week I can't sleep because my asshole neighbour is either getting high or drunk.
Chairman Ray
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States11903 Posts
February 19 2015 21:23 GMT
#20
Put some estrogen in the rat's protein powder
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