Edit: holy shit the blog I posted 2 years ago is basically about the exact same thing. I had completely forgotten I wrote that. I guess in two years I've journeyed and found nothing
I'm posting this here because I don't really know another community that I would trust to give any advice that I would take seriously. But I also have a few questions for anybody who decides to read this.
I just got back from blizzcon with my roommate, and blizzcon was fucking amazing but I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of emptiness the entire time. I've been feeling like this for a couple months now and I thought maybe it was because I had nothing to look forward to and that going to blizzcon would improve my mood.
I feel these very deep lows and I just can't quite figure out why. My roommate and I are good friends and he's an awesome roommate. I have a decent amount of friends who invite me to do things from time to time. I'm about to graduate with a masters in computer science and I basically have a job lined up with the company that I interned for over the summer. When I take a look at my life I don't see a reason why I should feel empty, but I can't help but feeling that way anyways.
I find that I don't really feel like doing anything, and things that should be enjoyable aren't.
For a while I thought I wanted a significant other, but that didn't seem to be the issue, and I realized that I had to be okay with my own life individually before I could even think about having a girlfriend as well
So my question is, does anybody else feel empty? And if you don't, what do you look forward to each day? Or each week? Do you come home and feel fulfilled and knowing that you're working towards something?
Are there some major life concepts that I'm missing out on or anything?
Textbook Depression dude. There's quite a few routes you could take to try and help alleviate what you are (or, I suppose, aren't) feeling. Therapy or councilling can help, finding a new passsion (very hard to do sadly), or if nothing else possible meds (not for everyone).
Seriously though, 2014 has been the best year of my life and it's 90% due to the fact that I went travelling (you can read more about it here and here). Maybe it doesn't affect everyone as positively as it did with me and my brother, but it was honestly the best time of my life. Prior to that, I felt very similar to how you currently do.
I guess maybe you don't have the finances for it considering you're about to finishing schooling for your masters, but that's what did it for me.
I don't think you're depressed. You're motivated enough to do well in school, get a job, be in a relationship, etc.. You probably just lack that "meaning of life" idea. Sounds like you're not so much going down but stagnating at some baseline level.
You're not going to get that meaning you're looking for here. Go explore and figure it out on your own. Tis a phase in everyone's life.
I doubt this is depression. OP, I think you just need to set some goals for yourself so that you feel like you're striving for something. As it stands, you're just going along with the flow of life which is fine but I think by having a goal to work towards, you'll gain motivation and the energy as well.
For the goal, make sure it's not something that can done so fast. Basically, a future goal. Since you're in comp sci, maybe something like building x game or software and putting it up on the app store or selling it on steam as an indie developer. Since it's a goal that won't be reached anytime soon, you can work at your own pace planning things, thinking of how to approach problems etc... Eventually, you'll reach it but after so much time and effort that you'll be satisfied with the end result. Of course, you can always set a different goal unrelated to your program. Volunteering also helps a lot so can try looking for opportunities around where you live. Best of luck!
i am looking for a way to fullfill my body everyday, by eating, drinking, doing sports and enjoying nature, my mind, by learning new things, studying old ones, and using the information i gather, and my soul, by making music, which means the most for me. I have some micro and macro things i look foward to by doing music. what makes it worth while is the act of doing it in itself. The moment i am there doing the music. It leaves me a sense of satisfaction and fullfillness later, when i am doing it how i intended too. You have to figure out yourself why you feel these deep lows, why you feel this sense of emptiness. You see, friends and family, people on the internet can give you their stories and a professional therapist , hopefully, tools and methods for you to use to be able to understand why you feel this way. But only you can live trought it, cause deep inside, you have the answers, you just need to find them, like a bug in a code, and then work to fix it, to make things work properly again i guess
On November 10 2014 11:17 PassionFruit wrote: I don't think you're depressed. You're motivated enough to do well in school, get a job, be in a relationship, etc.. You probably just lack that "meaning of life" idea. Sounds like you're not so much going down but stagnating at some baseline level.
You're not going to get that meaning you're looking for here. Go explore and figure it out on your own. Tis a phase in everyone's life.
Hi, what exactly do you mean by explore? Like go out and meet new people and just do things I wouldn't normally do? I feel like thats what i've been doing for the past 2 years and its yielded nothing for me.
Someone else in this thread mentioned that I needed to make goals for myself and try and reach them but i can't really think of anything i want to accomplish. so I guess I need to set some goals for myself and figure out what it is I want to do in life. I don't think i've had any real "Goals" in life recently except hitting grandmaster league a couple years ago and thats barely a goal with respect to life as a whole. but so many goals seem so... pointless
you do things to get money and live comfortably, and I have plenty of money and I live very comfortably so yeah.. Maybe I just haven't found anything that I'm passionate about yet. I'll constantly be on the lookout for that
On November 10 2014 11:17 PassionFruit wrote: I don't think you're depressed. You're motivated enough to do well in school, get a job, be in a relationship, etc.. You probably just lack that "meaning of life" idea. Sounds like you're not so much going down but stagnating at some baseline level.
You're not going to get that meaning you're looking for here. Go explore and figure it out on your own. Tis a phase in everyone's life.
Hi, what exactly do you mean by explore? Like go out and meet new people and just do things I wouldn't normally do? I feel like thats what i've been doing for the past 2 years and its yielded nothing for me.
Someone else in this thread mentioned that I needed to make goals for myself and try and reach them but i can't really think of anything i want to accomplish. so I guess I need to set some goals for myself and figure out what it is I want to do in life. I don't think i've had any real "Goals" in life recently except hitting grandmaster league a couple years ago and thats barely a goal with respect to life as a whole. but so many goals seem so... pointless
you do things to get money and live comfortably, and I have plenty of money and I live very comfortably so yeah.. Maybe I just haven't found anything that I'm passionate about yet. I'll constantly be on the lookout for that
Explore is different for everyone. Some people go out and meet new people. Some people travel all over the world. Some people hit the philosophy books. Some people try new hobbies. Some people set some career goal or go back to school.
The key is to never stop looking. If you stop looking, you'll be stuck by default. Keep exposing yourself to new thoughts, ideas, people, perspectives, etc... and eventually something will stick. That's the hope you've got to ride. Sure there is a chance you won't find anything and die, but then that's not really anything worse than how you're living right now anyway. I decided that it's best to just ride the hope train and did hella shit for 5 years. Now I fucking love my life.
It's not going to come to you. If you want it, then go get it. It's not easy. If you want easy, then just exist and die a pointless life.
On November 10 2014 10:39 SetGuitarsToKill wrote: Textbook Depression dude. There's quite a few routes you could take to try and help alleviate what you are (or, I suppose, aren't) feeling. Therapy or councilling can help, finding a new passsion (very hard to do sadly), or if nothing else possible meds (not for everyone).
This is controversial, especially on these boards, but many hardcore gamers are actually addicts, and the reason why is because they have an underlying depression. Cue shitstorm.
EPT
