Neet's BG Adventures #4 - Fiendly Hand Bandit

Stratos

Czech Republic6104 Posts

October 19 2014 19:48 GMT

I'm keeping a semi-RP journal of my BG adventures on android (plz just take more of money). I'm playing on insane (core rules + double damage) with a half-horse barbarian Neet, Imoen and Neera. Making Neera pregnant is top priority. Spreading the word about the android version is close second. Works great for me on Nexus 7, much recommended.

+ Show Spoiler [Neet di Uqil] +

+ Show Spoiler [Iumoen] +

+ Show Spoiler [Neera v2] +

Dear Journal,

Witch say she want to find magic senior a doy to help her control wild body. I agree but cannut map read so we travel long first. In halfling town we slay ogre, we battle bandit, kobold, wolf, and neer Doolak tower slay forceful warrior with firesaber. Up in tower, lonely female give us most tasty hay.

Sauron really like this place but we can only spend one night.

On saturday we find friendly goblin settlement and spend few day.

When we go trip to cave we find fatman wizard senior a doy too but we are in ambush from red wizard and goblin captain.

We win big fight and a doy gives witch belt and turn into squirrel. So we leave. Witch is excited with new belt so we hug and all most kiss.

Dear Journal,

We leave goblin city as for few week now Sauron keep talking to me and sent me on holy mission. I tell my friend and witch so we venture to preach word of the Sauron. In deep bush we build cult from elves but one day during ritual someone may be bring in rotten vegetable or furt. I only know not me. Maybe. I do not know much then.

Dear Neet,

In case you ever learn to read, unlikely as that is with your strategy of one letter each year, I am leaving this message behind in hopes you live to know the truth. Seeing you with Sauron, we felt we needed to take a step back and give you the space you two needed. Also, last night, something happened between me and your childhood friend. We will be leaving together but should you ever want to see us again, hit us up at the Friendly Arm Inn.

Hugs and kisses,

Your witch

P.S. Sauron is dead! I'm so sorry.

Dear Journal,

Next morning over ritual I wake up and witch and friend and cult is all gone. Sauron do not understand too.

Dear Journal,

I look in forest for months and find nothing. One long night man goes by named Halizurex and seeing my drowning in tears and hungry he offer me and Sauron refreshement beverage and ask me what is wrong friend? I am too cold to speak so I gift him my journal. He grab my shoulder firm and tell me your witch is captured from bandits in Fiendly Hand. But they are too powerful for you to rescue alone he say.

Good I have Sauron with me I respond and leave him to venture to slay all Fiendly Hand bandit. But learning more about Fiendly Hand fortress in Nashkel it has too many forceful bandit. I go drink heavy and in night find nice wizard Ed Win.

Ed hear my tales and say he a student of Halizurex and we can do this, we travel up and Ed spend evening drawing ambush plan with sand by fire. Ed has a nice dog and liking Sauron, he travel with us. Also on way we are joined with blue little man friend from the village. We grow in number and spirits.

Last night before Fiendly Hand we defeat mighty ogre and find pretty belt. I know witches love belt so I insist Ed take it but he say no. So at night I put belt on him while he sleep. May be belt magical, in morning he look more strong in chest. He whine bit but don't take belt off.

We finally arrive to Fiendly Hand covered in night, we set up ambush by Ed plans. First we pay nearby hopgoblin gang to help, then we drop ded body in front of bandit gate, and wait for bandit to jump bait.

I dress to bandit, jump out of tree and say bandit buddy help!!! Gang hunters me!! (Ed stand on rock to tell me when I forget) Then we slaughter bandits.

Now we can enter fortress unseen. We evade all eyes but then cow see us so we slaughter all cow. Happily bandit don't see.

We hide in cart, redress and look as noble victim. We can sneak in victim room and free my witch!

We free my witch but now Ed say we need to make attention. We drop ded body in one room and little blue frend and his buddy go scare nobler bandits. The moment we escape and run out the fortress.

In way out we are ambushed with Iumeon from shadow. We join with her too.

We success! Now we only need pay the gang. We let wizard of Ed handle it.

To hide from bandit we run into nearby forest. At last I unite with my witch and Iumoen! Sauron is most happy too.

Inspired by: http://forum.baldursgate.com/discussion/34725/halizurex-the-pacifist-mass-murderer/p1

Just_a_Moth

Canada1950 Posts

October 20 2014 06:03 GMT

0_o

What is this?

Edit: Regardless, 5 stars.

Stratos

Czech Republic6104 Posts

October 20 2014 15:26 GMT

It only makes sense if you know the game inside-out, at least story and content wise. For example, the "most tasty hay" my hero received in Durlag's tower was actually a flock of hair the chick gave him to carty over to someone else to rid her of her curse. Welp.

The belt we got from the ogre and I forced it on Edwin in his sleep actually turns you into opposite gender and you can't take it off.

I can only imagine the confusion if you're reading that without the knowledge ^^ I'll make my next playthrough more outsider friendly, be it still BG1, or BG2 or IWD if they're available on android.

Just_a_Moth

Canada1950 Posts

October 21 2014 05:53 GMT

Oh it was still interesting and amusing even thought I have absolutely no knowledge of the game. But yeah that belt thing just seemed strange before, but now it is pretty funny.

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