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I'm done with this game

Blogs > TwiggyWan
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TwiggyWan
Profile Blog Joined December 2013
France330 Posts
August 03 2014 02:15 GMT
#1
I just uninstalled Starcraft 2.

After 4 years in, plus 2 years of broodwar, the anger i feel when playing is too much now.

Can anybody become good if they spend enough time at something?

I used to think yes.

But then I'm exactly at the same level I was 6 months ago. and 2 years ago. and when I started playing on a decent computer.

It's like everything that happens in that game reminds me how much I'm bad at anything and that i will never be the best at something.

With this game gone i will litterally have nothing to do on nights i dont have TF2 scrims. If only i enjoyed social life that wouldnt be such an issue.

I really want to kill stuff to let the anger out now and writing this isnt helping at all fuck my life

*
No bad days
deathly rat
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United Kingdom911 Posts
August 03 2014 02:22 GMT
#2
If playing SC2 really makes you this sad and angry then uninstalling it was probably a good idea.

No logo (logo)
SetGuitarsToKill
Profile Blog Joined December 2013
Canada28396 Posts
August 03 2014 02:25 GMT
#3
I very much know this feeling... I mean today especially I've been struggling with it, but you'll calm down I think. It's frustrating, I know for sure, but when you finally do make that improvement it'll be all that much more satisfying!
Community News"As long as you have a warp prism you can't be bad at harassment" - Maru | @SetGuitars2Kill
NerZhuL
Profile Joined November 2010
United States57 Posts
August 03 2014 02:27 GMT
#4
quit gaming, and move on with your life. You made the right decision
Impossible is nothing
vult
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
United States9400 Posts
August 03 2014 02:37 GMT
#5
Play non-competitive, single player games for story and entertainment. Or watch movies and TV shows. Read a book. Write songs or poetry. There is a lot of stuff to distract you from reality and pass the time.
I used to play random, but for you I play very specifically.
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
August 03 2014 02:47 GMT
#6
What if I told you that it was the game's fault that you were losing, and not your own?
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
ThomasjServo
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
15244 Posts
August 03 2014 03:13 GMT
#7
Sometimes it helps to take a step back for perspective.
CakeSauc3
Profile Joined February 2011
United States1437 Posts
August 03 2014 04:19 GMT
#8
Don't take it so hard. Not everyone was born to play Starcraft like a god. Only Flash.

If the game isn't fun anymore, find something else you enjoy. I took a break from SC2 for about a year, and now it's fun again. Live life to the fullest, yo.
Nebuchad
Profile Blog Joined December 2012
Switzerland12262 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-08-03 04:51:59
August 03 2014 04:50 GMT
#9
Usually when I get frustrated with SC2, I open pokerstars. Then I start losing a lot of money and I'm like, hey, I'm on tilt, I should probably play SC2 instead so that I don't lose money while tilting. The feeling of getting frustrated in a way that you KNOW won't have any impact on your life is actually more satisfying than you would expect.

Circle of life!
No will to live, no wish to die
BigFan
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
TLADT24920 Posts
August 03 2014 04:57 GMT
#10
OP, I think the best thing you could've done was take a break from it all. I think the mindset of wanting to be the best isn't a bad one per se but you should focus on improving with that idea being in the back of your mind. If you want to be the best, focusing on what mistakes you've made, how to improve and dedicating a lot of time to the game are your best options. Having said that, I think at this point, stepping away from SCII and finding another hobby that you can enjoy is the best option

On August 03 2014 13:50 Nebuchad wrote:
Usually when I get frustrated with SC2, I open pokerstars. Then I start losing a lot of money and I'm like, hey, I'm on tilt, I should probably play SC2 instead so that I don't lose money while tilting.

Circle of life!

LOL. Well, I guess that's a good way of looking at it
Former BW EiC"Watch Bakemonogatari or I will kill you." -Toad, April 18th, 2017
Ty2
Profile Blog Joined March 2013
United States1434 Posts
August 03 2014 05:08 GMT
#11
--- Nuked ---
Writer
endy
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Switzerland8970 Posts
August 03 2014 05:14 GMT
#12
On August 03 2014 11:15 TwiggyWan wrote:
Can anybody become good if they spend enough time at something?


I don't know about SC2, but you don't need to be good to enjoy the game.
ॐ
falconfan02
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United States231 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-08-03 05:29:53
August 03 2014 05:27 GMT
#13
On August 03 2014 11:15 TwiggyWan wrote:
Can anybody become good if they spend enough time at something?


The desire to be the absolute best that you can be at something is actually quite interesting. It is a necessary drive to have if you want to succeed, but it can very easily be one of the greatest obstacles to your success if not controlled and used correctly. I have the same problem as you do, and I know quite a few others that have it as well. After all these years you feel like you should be better than you are. After each game, you feel like you should have played better than you did. Believe me, I understand how easy it is to have these thoughts and how discouraging they can be. In my opinion, your anger and frustration boils down to this perception of that you think "should be." You are what you are, in one year you will be what you will be, and so on. Your drive to be the best creates this imaginary, ideal version of yourself, and comparing yourself to this nonexistent person will get you absolutely nowhere and just lead to frustration and lowered self esteem. All you can do is live your life to the best of your ability (or practice sc2 for as many hours as you see fit, etc.), and what happens, happens. In Starcraft and in the rest of your life. Accept what you are, enjoy your progress, and look forward to what you will become.

I apologize if I completely missed the mark here, I've just had these thoughts simmering for a while and this seemed like an okay place to let them out. In the end, if you don't enjoy Starcraft anymore, there's no one making you play it. There are plenty of other, probably more productive, activities out there to fill your time. Best of luck!
EsportsJohn
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4883 Posts
August 03 2014 05:42 GMT
#14
On August 03 2014 11:47 ninazerg wrote:
What if I told you that it was the game's fault that you were losing, and not your own?


I love you nina. Literally.

I love you.
StrategyAllyssa Grey <3<3
BigFan
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
TLADT24920 Posts
August 03 2014 05:42 GMT
#15
On August 03 2014 14:27 falconfan02 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 03 2014 11:15 TwiggyWan wrote:
Can anybody become good if they spend enough time at something?


The desire to be the absolute best that you can be at something is actually quite interesting. It is a necessary drive to have if you want to succeed, but it can very easily be one of the greatest obstacles to your success if not controlled and used correctly. I have the same problem as you do, and I know quite a few others that have it as well. After all these years you feel like you should be better than you are. After each game, you feel like you should have played better than you did. Believe me, I understand how easy it is to have these thoughts and how discouraging they can be. In my opinion, your anger and frustration boils down to this perception of that you think "should be." You are what you are, in one year you will be what you will be, and so on. Your drive to be the best creates this imaginary, ideal version of yourself, and comparing yourself to this nonexistent person will get you absolutely nowhere and just lead to frustration and lowered self esteem. All you can do is live your life to the best of your ability (or practice sc2 for as many hours as you see fit, etc.), and what happens, happens. In Starcraft and in the rest of your life. Accept what you are, enjoy your progress, and look forward to what you will become.

I apologize if I completely missed the mark here, I've just had these thoughts simmering for a while and this seemed like an okay place to let them out. In the end, if you don't enjoy Starcraft anymore, there's no one making you play it. There are plenty of other, probably more productive, activities out there to fill your time. Best of luck!

Well written post imo and I think many people including myself have thought about this a lot. What you write is definitely true and in line with what I wrote as well (in another blog I believe).
Former BW EiC"Watch Bakemonogatari or I will kill you." -Toad, April 18th, 2017
iamho
Profile Joined June 2009
United States3347 Posts
August 03 2014 05:47 GMT
#16
You just got to stop viewing things with such a competitive mindset. I've been playing BW for 6 years now, still have not made it past C- on iCCup, but I still play for fun on the weekends. If you really don't know how to have fun while losing, then maybe its for the best that you don't play anymore.
Peeano
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Netherlands5120 Posts
August 03 2014 06:25 GMT
#17
Can anybody become good if they spend enough time at something?


I used to think yes.

Ever heard of the 10,000 hours rule? Practice plays a major role in success.
You could definitely become a great player. Flash has surpassed the 10,000 hours easily. How about you?
If you have enough drive/motivation you could excel at multiple disciplines in your life time.

It's like everything that happens in that game reminds me how much I'm bad at anything and that i will never be the best at something.

Maybe it helps to realise that even the best will suffer defeats.
But then again:
"Not everyone was born to play Starcraft like a god. Only Flash."

I think you're near/at a tipping point where time investment doesn't - noticeably - reward you as much anymore in terms of skill gain.
Note: the following graph is a rough example to visualise my previous mentioned thoughts.

Every skill/sport/discipline needs a continuous time investment, maintenance, to prevent you from dropping down in skill level, especially if you're already beyond the 10,000 hours mark.
(I'm not looking to discuss routine, age, coach, gear, practice partners, etc. Obviously you can make time spent more valuable in numerous ways.)
FBH #1!
Luepert
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States1933 Posts
August 03 2014 06:46 GMT
#18
Try LOL. I had major anger issues with SC2 but I find League super fun and actually stress relieving.
esports
Sikian
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
Spain177 Posts
August 03 2014 07:58 GMT
#19
You could give Starbow a try. The community is very friendly and there's healthy competitiveness

Be it as it may, maybe the best is to take a break from the SC world overall.
(I took it very hard as well to know that I'd never reach nowhere in the gaming scene )
Helping Starbow :: a.k.a. SoaH
Zbass
Profile Joined May 2012
10 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-08-03 09:21:50
August 03 2014 09:21 GMT
#20
With your departure, golden league will lose one hell of a player
Resistance is futile
TwiggyWan
Profile Blog Joined December 2013
France330 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-08-03 11:54:40
August 03 2014 11:50 GMT
#21
Thanks for your thoughts buddies. By "being the best" maybe it wasn't as clear to you as it was to me. I meant something more in the lines of "feeling I'm playing well" or "feeling I'm succeeding in my games", whatever level said games are played.

you don't need to be good to enjoy the game.

I just realized you are absolutely right. The activity should feel fun to do at first before the mere fact of "being good" is thrown into the mix.

I think the best thing you could've done was take a break from it all

Thanks, I will do this. Right now I feel like starcraft causes me frustration but my mind is still tied to it, I dont really know if drug addicted people feel the same, like doing something you know that won't be good for you but doing it nonetheless..

Also Peeano your graph made my day, thank you D:
No bad days
vOdToasT
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Sweden2870 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-08-03 12:45:21
August 03 2014 12:44 GMT
#22
You can always learn a skill that isn't competitive or real time, like programming.

Or a musical instrument. It's very fulfilling, but losing isn't as frustrating. You can just try again.
If it's stupid but it works, then it's not stupid* (*Or: You are stupid for losing to it, and gotta git gud)
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-08-03 14:16:35
August 03 2014 14:16 GMT
#23
On August 03 2014 14:42 SC2John wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 03 2014 11:47 ninazerg wrote:
What if I told you that it was the game's fault that you were losing, and not your own?


I love you nina. Literally.

I love you.


:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
PanN
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States2828 Posts
August 03 2014 14:57 GMT
#24
On August 03 2014 18:21 Zbass wrote:
With your departure, golden league will lose one hell of a player


People like you suck. I'm sure you're aware though.

Good luck man, if gaming isn't fun for you anymore, then dont play, easy easy!
We have multiple brackets generated in advance. Relax . (Kennigit) I just simply do not understand how it can be the time to play can be 22nd at 9:30 pm PST / midnight the 23rd at the same time. (GGzerg)
wongfeihung
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States763 Posts
August 03 2014 16:31 GMT
#25
On August 03 2014 11:47 ninazerg wrote:
What if I told you that it was the game's fault that you were losing, and not your own?

Then you would be kidding yourself, as well as the person you said it to.
Jan1997
Profile Blog Joined April 2013
Norway671 Posts
August 03 2014 17:14 GMT
#26
My advice: Play something else. You don't have to good at what you're playing in order to have fun. Just think that nothing really matters and just play for fun.
Do something today that your future self will be thankful for.
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
August 03 2014 17:36 GMT
#27
On August 04 2014 01:31 wongfeihung wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 03 2014 11:47 ninazerg wrote:
What if I told you that it was the game's fault that you were losing, and not your own?

Then you would be kidding yourself, as well as the person you said it to.


Why?
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
radscorpion9
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Canada2252 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-08-03 21:45:15
August 03 2014 21:42 GMT
#28
Hey Twiggy I support your decision 100%. I used to feel the same way, I'd play so much and try so hard and still lose to multiple all-ins that I did my best to scout. Then when I watched pro tournaments I see pro-gamers winning with extremely cheesy strats, most infamously with SoS and his 2-gate attacks in Blizzard's World Championship. I just figure screw this game, its got too much luck and its too anger inducing. Uninstalled it, haven't looked back, been happy ever since . Beyond that my fingers just don't move fast enough so there's that too

Now I just relax and play some other strategy games that have less luck involved, but recently for multiplayer I'm just playing hearthstone. I'm thinking soon I might try that hawken game...who knows. The world is your oyster now
Deleted User 97295
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
1137 Posts
August 03 2014 23:48 GMT
#29
--- Nuked ---
KingAlphard
Profile Blog Joined August 2012
Italy1705 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-08-04 01:40:27
August 04 2014 01:40 GMT
#30
I feel the same as you, although I haven't uninstalled. I see players I used to play against on the ladder and even beat, that now are top 100 gm EU while I'm still a random mid master scrub. Some people just won't improve past a certain point, even if they try so hard, while others do it really quickly without much effort, There isn't an explanation to that.
KingAlphard
Profile Blog Joined August 2012
Italy1705 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-08-04 02:00:07
August 04 2014 01:58 GMT
#31
On August 03 2014 14:27 falconfan02 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 03 2014 11:15 TwiggyWan wrote:
Can anybody become good if they spend enough time at something?


The desire to be the absolute best that you can be at something is actually quite interesting. It is a necessary drive to have if you want to succeed, but it can very easily be one of the greatest obstacles to your success if not controlled and used correctly. I have the same problem as you do, and I know quite a few others that have it as well. After all these years you feel like you should be better than you are. After each game, you feel like you should have played better than you did. Believe me, I understand how easy it is to have these thoughts and how discouraging they can be. In my opinion, your anger and frustration boils down to this perception of that you think "should be." You are what you are, in one year you will be what you will be, and so on. Your drive to be the best creates this imaginary, ideal version of yourself, and comparing yourself to this nonexistent person will get you absolutely nowhere and just lead to frustration and lowered self esteem. All you can do is live your life to the best of your ability (or practice sc2 for as many hours as you see fit, etc.), and what happens, happens. In Starcraft and in the rest of your life. Accept what you are, enjoy your progress, and look forward to what you will become.

I apologize if I completely missed the mark here, I've just had these thoughts simmering for a while and this seemed like an okay place to let them out. In the end, if you don't enjoy Starcraft anymore, there's no one making you play it. There are plenty of other, probably more productive, activities out there to fill your time. Best of luck!


I agree with your analysis. Ambition is degenerative because it builds up an idea of happiness that is impossible to reach, and everytime you get closer to it, it brings it even further away. But when I think that I should give up with all my ambitions, I feel like I would have nothing to stimulate me afterwards and it would feel even worse. So it's really hard to get rid of it.
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