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Near Death Experience

Blogs > MysteryMeat1
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MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-14 19:19:28
April 14 2014 19:15 GMT
#1





Last Night i ended up going food shopping at my local Safeway, i hadn't eaten dinner and being midnight i ended up just getting some manager discounted hot burritos, 2 for a dollar, practically a steal.

So i wake up this morning, and i'm in a bit of a rush, i turn on the shower, and while im waiting for the water to warm up, i start taking off all of my clothes. First my shorts, then my shirt, and then my left sock, and then my underwear. As i hop into the shower, i'm doing my usual thing. It must of been the bean burritos with hot sauce or something but i let a huge one rip. Now if I was sitting in my chair where i usually fart, I wouldn't even notice. However, while i was scratching myself to look like tony the tiger, i took in a deep whiff of the putrid fumes.

As i started gagging, i couldn't get in any air and almost fainted in the shower. After my near death experience, I ended up googling why shower farts smell soo bad.

I'm too lazy to reword it so here is a copy and paste of an official wiki answer

oddly, but true enough, this is actually a good question? H2O, in the form of water vapor, easily attaches to methane molecules by the chlorine atom, or the sulfur released from bacteria, making the foul smell more readily attach to the nostril lining, subsequently sustaining the odor longer than in a dry climate. In addition, warm vapors will cause any crusted mucus to soften and disengage, providing more surface area within the sinuses. And lastly, (if you are male) the qualitive factor of "worse" is a perception of foreign gases - as to our own emissions, the qualitive factor is "better."


The moral of the story, is that after you fart in the shower, remember to take a break from scratching, and hold your breath for approximately 5 seconds in order to let the shower fart dissapate.

***
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
vult
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
United States9400 Posts
April 14 2014 19:26 GMT
#2
Well that was definitely not what I was expecting. Funny, nonetheless!
I used to play random, but for you I play very specifically.
ggofthejungle
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Romania392 Posts
April 14 2014 20:35 GMT
#3
Wow 5/5
Jaaaaasper
Profile Blog Joined April 2012
United States10225 Posts
April 14 2014 20:40 GMT
#4
1/5 I hate you
Hey do you want to hear a joke? Chinese production value. | I thought he had a aegis- Ayesee | When did 7ing mad last have a good game, 2012?
Chairman Ray
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States11903 Posts
April 14 2014 20:57 GMT
#5
I had that happen before, so when I need to fart in the shower, I stick my butt out the shower curtain and fart.
Epishade
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United States2267 Posts
April 14 2014 22:33 GMT
#6
A new competitor emerges in the fiercely competitive TL bathroom humor blogs scene.
Pinhead Larry in the streets, Dirty Dan in the sheets.
prplhz
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Denmark8045 Posts
April 14 2014 23:01 GMT
#7
i'm glad you're alright
http://i.imgur.com/M7t7egx.png
krndandaman
Profile Joined August 2009
Mozambique16569 Posts
April 15 2014 01:02 GMT
#8
--- Nuked ---
Mothra
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States1448 Posts
April 15 2014 01:53 GMT
#9
On April 15 2014 07:33 Epishade wrote:
A new competitor emerges in the fiercely competitive TL bathroom humor blogs scene.


Think I'll stick with you and UONSentinel... this was just gross.
Release
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States4397 Posts
April 15 2014 02:38 GMT
#10
5/5 would read another
☺
Alakaslam
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
United States17336 Posts
April 15 2014 03:37 GMT
#11
"Ven der fuhrer says, he is der master rrace,
zen ve heil!" -BARP- "hei-higgh, higgh, -COUGH- hijole man <hack> <Wheeze> Ah Got -COUGH-"

+ Show Spoiler +


and


WHAT DO U NOT SEEEENG IN THE SHOWER?!?
If you think Elon Musk is a Nazi, it is because YOU radicalized him!
goiflin
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Canada1218 Posts
April 15 2014 04:39 GMT
#12
5/5 made my night (not even exaggerating).
radscorpion9
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Canada2252 Posts
April 15 2014 04:48 GMT
#13
Well..that was fascinating. Now I know what not to do in the shower
NeuroticPsychosis
Profile Blog Joined September 2013
United States322 Posts
April 15 2014 06:47 GMT
#14
This is amazing.
intricate, elaborate, articulate, crystallize, conceptualize, synthesize
Gowerly
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United Kingdom916 Posts
April 15 2014 11:56 GMT
#15
Water vapour makes all smells stronger. It's the reason for "the smell of rain". The soil is distrubed by the rain, and all the water in the air carries the smell to you.
I will reduce you to a series of numbers.
29 fps
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States5724 Posts
April 15 2014 13:59 GMT
#16
lol i didnt know that people scratched their asses when farting. or maybe it's just one person
4v4 is a battle of who has the better computer.
ThomasjServo
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
15244 Posts
April 15 2014 14:25 GMT
#17
On April 15 2014 22:59 29 fps wrote:
lol i didnt know that people scratched their asses when farting. or maybe it's just one person

I suppose it is like the standing vs sitting for wiping.
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-15 19:07:05
April 15 2014 19:06 GMT
#18
On April 15 2014 22:59 29 fps wrote:
lol i didnt know that people scratched their asses when farting. or maybe it's just one person


I scratch my stomach to make the red stripes. I was really into it and forgot about my fart until i wafted it.

On April 15 2014 23:25 ThomasjServo wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 15 2014 22:59 29 fps wrote:
lol i didnt know that people scratched their asses when farting. or maybe it's just one person

I suppose it is like the standing vs sitting for wiping.


I always wipe sitting down

On April 15 2014 10:53 Mothra wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 15 2014 07:33 Epishade wrote:
A new competitor emerges in the fiercely competitive TL bathroom humor blogs scene.


Think I'll stick with you and UONSentinel... this was just gross.


Lol, mine is gross but you can read epishades?
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
CreatorGX
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States121 Posts
April 15 2014 19:26 GMT
#19
I'm mad at myself for expecting anything less ridiculous.
http://creatorgx.blogspot.com/
Mothra
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States1448 Posts
April 16 2014 00:52 GMT
#20
On April 16 2014 04:06 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
Lol, mine is gross but you can read epishades?


Hmm... looking at it now, maybe questionable lol.
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