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First off, for those wondering, I'm posting this on TL for several reasons:
- This will be a long, rambling post, and TL has been my home forum for long enough that I can’t think of a better place to get this off my chest.
- I may or may not get a lot of abuse for this post, and while I probably deserve it, I trust the TL community’s judgment on something like this, mudslinging and all.
- While somewhat self-serving, I want this message to be heard here, and my status as a featured blogger helps achieve this. The story I’m about to tell may be negative, but there is a positive moral to be had.
That being said, if you read this post you will probably think less of me. If you know me well and would like to continue enjoying my company in the future, you may wish to close this thread. Truthfully, whether or not you take the time to read this is largely irrelevant; I just need a place to confess, and you, the collective TL, can choose to be my priest if you so desire.
Like I said above, the reason that I'm confessing this here is that while I have generally played along with an idea that is a lie, Team Liquid is one of the few sites where I've actively cultivated the lie. This is due to some interference from IRL friends (explained later), but that certainly doesn't excuse it. There are some folks on other sectors of the Internet who have, though one way or another, caught onto my clever ruse, but I've always settled the matter with them privately, and for the most part people seem to accept it. So… this is the first time I'm really disclosing it publicly. I've criticized others for lying about what they are, and I probably deserve the same criticism from all of you.
I made my first Internet debut, as a female, on GameFAQs nearly a decade ago. I didn't see anything wrong with it, and I wasn't adamant about the fact. In fact, the only thing I did to insinuate the idea that I was actually a girl was correcting people on pronoun usage. I'd always been a girl, and I didn't see why the Internet should be any different.
The one thing that I noticed was that as people discovered my gender, my threads got a lot more activity. I'd often have threads with several pages of replies from people who were eager to help me with in-game questions or toss around ideas. And every idea that I introduced to the table received ample support. I was encouraged by this; it surely meant that I had good ideas.
However, one such idea proved to be a flop. Pokemon Emerald Version had been released not too long before, and I was very interested in strategies for the Battle Frontier, a new addition in that game which presented various challenging gamemodes that were significantly more difficult than the standard game, and sharply favored the competitively-inclined. On the Emerald boards, I presented the idea of Toxic Exeggutor to disable one opponent with Stun Spore and Toxic another… and got plenty of positive feedback from the community. Everyone saw it as logical extension of double powders (a similar type of strategy favored mostly by Grass-type Pokemon that serve little use otherwise) and there was nothing wrong with it. Except, as I later found out, it sucked. I found that out after several days of playtesting it myself in the Frontier.
I was initially shocked by the idea. I was still young and immature at the time, and while I probably knew a hell of a lot more about Pokemon than other people my age, I also relied heavily on the GameFAQs Pokemon community to learn as much as I could about the game. So to discover that the community that had essentially comprised my view of Pokemon had been wrong, was confusing to me. I checked my thread (it wasn't dead) to see if there were any misgivings that anyone had had, but nothing surfaced. I made a new thread, talking about how my Toxic Exeggutor had failed and that it was probably not a good idea to begin with. Everyone agreed, and nobody managed to point out any of the merits that they had seen when I first introduced the idea.
I decided to see whether this applied to my other ideas as well. I registered a new account and reposted some of the old threads I had saved, and nearly all of them got negative feedback because they were coming from a newly-registered account with low karma, rather than a girl. Keep in mind, I had gotten the same positive feedback even when I was new on the boards; my gender was likely the cause of people's enthusiastic response to my ideas.
Finally, on my primary account I decided to perform one last test. I made a post on the Emerald boards about how Poliwhirl should be considered as an alternative to Poliwrath in the Battle Frontier, because it has more speed. I got four pages of replies, not a single one critical of the idea. After all, a faster Hypnosis is certainly worth losing Mind Reader and Fissure, as the collective board appraised. Near the end of the thread's life, however, one user stepped in with a rant. He began by dismissing the idea as a silly notion, as sacrificing a statistical advantage, typing, and movepool for the sake of a few speed points was a ludicrous concept. But then he brought up an entirely different discussion: the fact that people had been enthusiastically replying because I was established within the community as a girl.
He was right. I knew it, and that thread was the last post I made on GameFAQs. I didn't want to start a new identity and became a lurker once again, browsing various fora and posting very infrequently, if at all. This went on for several years, as I willingly faded into distant memory and became yet another anonymous, faceless Internet-person.
Then I learned about the announcement of StarCraft II. This was mid-July, so it was quite close to being released and I had basically missed out on any involvement in the beta. I wanted to learn as much as I could about this promising new game, though, and my search led to me TeamLiquid.net, a much more personal, close-knit, and niche forum than GameFAQs could ever be. This was my chance!
I quickly registered, recognizing the opportunity for me to create a new identity while being able to partake in the next part of one of my favorite video game series of all time. One that had a (relatively) early registration date, a post count that would eventually be on par with the most senior members, and most importantly, a phallus. My male identity was accepted by the rapidly expanding community, and as time wore on I noticed that I received very few solicitations for my personal information or my MSN handle.
I was not entirely alone in this endeavor, (un)fortunately. Some of my IRL friends joined TL along with me during the initial onset of new users caused by the StarCraft II beta, and on more than one occasion I was called by my (unambiguously feminine) first name. One such friend corrected people on several occasions when they referred to me using masculine pronouns, and once I discovered what he'd done, I quickly reversed the damage through post editing, and made several posts intended to cultivate the impression that I was a guy. A sort of “damage control” ensued after that, where I compounded those posts with photographic evidence “confirming” my manhood. In reality, one of my RL friends on TL agreed to pose as me for the sake of the masquerade. While this user (who I shall not refer to by name out of respect for his privacy) has since departed from TL, he was a good friend who understood my little problem and deserves my thanks.
Given that I've provided evidence of my "male" IRL identity through photographic means, it's probably only fair that I provide the same for this claim as well. However, one thing that I've noticed is that generally, the mental picture that you paint of someone you like is quite optimistic. In my case, the picture may be a little too optimistic. Some of you may not realize it, but not all girls online are attractive. But if yo wish to retain a mental picture of me as such, feel free. Or picture me as a guy, if it helps you to take me more seriously. You're welcome to picture me any way you like. And viewing my picture would probably destroy your positive mental image. So if you know me intimately, I'd advise against it.
I hope I'm not scaring any of you; I'm not totally hideous. I don't use bacon as a pillow and I'm not horribly overweight (in fact several months ago I was actually underweight by a few points) but people generally set their expectations unreasonably high. So I'd advise against viewing these images if you often interact with me and would like to retain a more favorable mental image.
Of course, this story has a moral, orated through the signs I hold in a series of photographs, and those who don't view the photos as I suggest should get a chance to view them. So here they are.
Picture 1
Although girls are a minority in these sectors of the Internet, we do exist.
Picture 2
Skepticism is indeed well-placed, and I certainly don't blame you for it. But as hard as it may be to believe...
Picture 3
...there are girls on the Internet who enjoy playing video games.
Sincerely,
Archas, of TeamLiquid.
Nearly every time someone has "come out of the closet”, whatever forum it might have taken place on, I’ve voiced my criticism, and I did remark at one point that this was hypocritical of me. I'm really sorry, folks. I had my reasons, and while they certainly don't justify my deception, I hope that you understand. But if you want to give me flak about it, go ahead. I deserve it.
Here are the pictures. They're only here as evidence; those of you who don't want to view them can confirm with those who do that I exist. And I'd really recommend that you get the story from someone else, but I can't stop you from viewing.
+ Show Spoiler [Picture 1] +
+ Show Spoiler [Picture 2] +
+ Show Spoiler [Picture 3] +
  
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so you pretended to be a girl? big deal im sure everyone has done it on the internet a time or two
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Sup babydoll. let me get ur MSN handle 
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Pretty confident it's a bit early for that.
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On April 01 2014 00:22 TheFish7 wrote:Sup babydoll. let me get ur MSN handle
sure bby check ur pms
On April 01 2014 00:24 Gowerly wrote:
Pretty confident it's a bit early for that.
It's the 1st in KST, which is how I time holidays and events for TL. I'm too used to it to change. 
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The wall of text was a let-down, but you get bonus stars for posting this a day early and including a realistically stupid story.
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Well after eading it all (and before that never having a genderized idea of you), picturing you as a guy definitly won't help me take you seriously :D
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On April 01 2014 00:37 Iplaythings wrote:
Well after eading it all (and before that never having a genderized idea of you), picturing you as a guy definitly won't help me take you seriously :D
If you're taking me seriously, you're doing it wrong.
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The post was such a BS whine wall that I thought it was legit.
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As a rule of thumb, if it doesn't get you orange items or better it's not worth pretending to be a girl.
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Netherlands6181 Posts
I remember when Archas told me she was black. Very disappointed 1/5.
+ Show Spoiler +
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Ah damn. You got me. I actually know a girl who likes to play Dota 2 and other games and prefers to just not tell anyone on the internet that she is female because of how differently people write to and about her if they know. So to me this story sounded totally legit Oo
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Magic Woods9326 Posts
dave is still a guy to me
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On April 01 2014 00:17 arb wrote:
so you pretended to be a girl? big deal im sure everyone has done it on the internet a time or two
Why would I ever need or want to do that?
On the other hand tho, I always obey rule 30 and encourage everyone to do the same.
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I did a lot of times even when i still in elementary school especially playing MMORPG's .Got a lot of benefits out of it. Never tried doing that on forums though.
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I read it all, saw the pictures.
I still don't know if the person is a guy or a girl. Legit. Lol.
Not sure what the april's fool joke is - the pictures, or the text. I suck I guess haha
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TLADT24920 Posts
wow, quite the revelation. You should be ashamed of yourself! Stringing along poor forum GameFAQ members to get extra benefits. Who would've thought a featured poster would've pulled such a stunt back in the day. I demand he be unfeatured as a precautionary measure. I can also assure you that this will follow you for the rest of your TL life
On April 01 2014 01:39 goody153 wrote:
I did a lot of times even when i still in elementary school especially playing MMORPG's .Got a lot of benefits out of it. Never tried doing that on forums though.
:O
On April 01 2014 01:41 Nuf wrote:
I read it all, saw the pictures.
I still don't know if the person is a guy or a girl. Legit. Lol.
Not sure what the april's fool joke is - the pictures, or the text. I suck I guess haha
+ Show Spoiler +he's a guy lol. Text is, pictures are legit I presume.
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On April 01 2014 01:41 Nuf wrote:
I read it all, saw the pictures.
I still don't know if the person is a guy or a girl. Legit. Lol.
Not sure what the april's fool joke is - the pictures, or the text. I suck I guess haha
TL;DR: + Show Spoiler +I'm a guy, wrote a blog for April Fools about actually being a girl and pretending to be a guy.
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Actually, photo 1 left me kind of confused, because the text said something about lying, but I was not able to tell on first sight whether the person holding the sign is male or female.
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Canada1122 Posts
Well, you look like a lesbian so... it all evens out in the end?
wait...
April fool's is fucking dumb -.-
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On April 01 2014 01:49 ii.blitzkrieg wrote:
Well, you look like a lesbian so... it all evens out in the end?
hot
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United Kingdom14103 Posts
Rofl this felt weird from the start cause I always thought you were a guy.
Nice April fools
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On April 01 2014 01:48 Archas wrote:Show nested quote +On April 01 2014 01:41 Nuf wrote:
I read it all, saw the pictures.
I still don't know if the person is a guy or a girl. Legit. Lol.
Not sure what the april's fool joke is - the pictures, or the text. I suck I guess haha TL;DR: + Show Spoiler +I'm a guy, wrote a blog for April Fools about actually being a girl and pretending to be a guy.
I was confused as hell until I read this. >.<
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East Gorteau22261 Posts
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Don't worry Archas I can't think any less of you. Well played tho
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Is that a fedora?
e. It's not. Thank god
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We all know girl= guy in real life anyway. But seriously how hard is it to get someone to hold a sign for you? Archas is really Osama posting from an underground fortress. Happy April fools!
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I legit thought you were a lesbian in the first pic lol
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I feel bad for archas the lesbian...
But lets be real, how are you supposed to deal with mega staples if you had the physique of a girl?
Please don't hurt me white knights
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this was more confusing than anything else
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On April 01 2014 03:56 insectoceanx wrote:
We all know girl= guy in real life anyway. But seriously how hard is it to get someone to hold a sign for you? Archas is really Osama posting from an underground fortress. Happy April fools!
I'm home alone. ._.
On April 01 2014 04:06 ffadicted wrote:
I legit thought you were a lesbian in the first pic lol
Is it the smile? I was just trying to get weird faces for every shot...
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Requesting my username be changed to Lesbian. Thanks.
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On April 01 2014 04:36 Archas wrote:
Requesting my username be changed to Lesbian. Thanks.
PLEASE BASE GOD, Grant this man his wish! At least for a day
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United Kingdom38205 Posts
The key is using a girl's name in the first place.
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it's not even april 1st wtf
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It was a good read and commentary on a real issue on the internet and in life alike.
I (hopefully) learned my lesson and know I shouldn't get mixed up in these discussions when they are serious. Perhaps even this comment is a mistake.
Happy April Fools!
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This was cringe-inducing.
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United States10328 Posts
;_; how do you have so much time
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Haha! I knew what was coming! <3 Archas nice read!
+ Show Spoiler +You are one handsome nerd and I feel like after seeing what you look like I want to meet you in person even more.
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While I was reading I was actually just wondering why I should care if you're a girl or not. Are you important?
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Got me good. Can't believe anything you read on the internet for the next 24 hours or so lol. On another note this was fantasticallly well-written and articulate. Great job!
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Bro you look like Lionel Messi
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Strange, yet remarkably satisfying for an April Fool's joke.
Well done.
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i thought, it was going to be an april fools but end a bit differently, so u would blog about how u were a guy trying to be a girl on a pokemon forum, but than u decide its better to stick to ur own gender and be a guy, and than at the very end u would post pics of urself but you would be a girl. (which would also explain why u go so quiet when i ask do u have a gf, when are getting a gf, why dont u have a gf T_T archaaaas)
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Super pro April Fools. I think you may have overdone the whole "don't look at the pics" thing, though. People may be calling you a girl for years to come.
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I fucking hate when internet people are misleading about their identity.
SCREW YOU, OP
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Hong Kong9153 Posts
i expected this blog to be way different
and involve WC3 progamers.
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Germany25657 Posts
You still suck at portal.
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I only wish I could apply this much effort to an early April Fool's blog like I do to my schoolwork.
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I was mindfucked at first cause I recall hearing your voice via game chat on Pokemon and I recall it being way too deep to be a girl's voice.
Then I realized what date it was today.
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On April 01 2014 09:25 itsjustatank wrote:
i expected this blog to be way different
and involve WC3 progamers.
The passion is gone.
On April 01 2014 09:38 KadaverBB wrote:
You still suck at portal.
Quiet, before I squish you with more blocks or continue to bonk into you in midair over an acid pool. 
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1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
I didn't read a thing jokes on you
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You're not a very pretty girl  , also Epoxide, your new icon is awesome :O.
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Fiddler's Green42661 Posts
More importantly are you a follower of Democracy or Anarchy?
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What was your old TL name? I remember when you changed it, but I can't remember what it was :/.
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On April 01 2014 13:28 Rollin wrote:
What was your old TL name? I remember when you changed it, but I can't remember what it was :/.
Aeres.
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Netherlands6181 Posts
On April 01 2014 13:39 Archas wrote:Show nested quote +On April 01 2014 13:28 Rollin wrote:
What was your old TL name? I remember when you changed it, but I can't remember what it was :/. Aeres.
I liked Aeres. He was a cool poster.
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FREEAGLELAND26781 Posts
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Huh Aeres was a mega shit poster. I was so happy when that guy disappeared from tl.
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Archas your TL-Mega-Santa icon SPINS!
Yes but yours was the first one I noticed, therefore all the glory and merit is thine!
Also, might as well: if you want a really really in-depth website to get lost in, I strongly recommend tvtropes.org , say, this:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThereAreNoGirlsOnTheInternet
I particularly enjoy it because it deconstructs and analyzes elements of popular culture, but in an insightful and critical way. It can make you sound smart, but moreso, reading through, identifying, and learning about tropes helps develop critical analytical skills.
Plus it has lots of entries for my favorite computer games.
I very strongly recommend
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InsaneTrollLogic
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On April 01 2014 07:50 Shock710 wrote:
i thought, it was going to be an april fools but end a bit differently, so u would blog about how u were a guy trying to be a girl on a pokemon forum, but than u decide its better to stick to ur own gender and be a guy, and than at the very end u would post pics of urself but you would be a girl. (which would also explain why u go so quiet when i ask do u have a gf, when are getting a gf, why dont u have a gf T_T archaaaas)
HAHAHHA
well played, the dramatic, self-absorbed intro was convincing up till the "don't look at the pictures, i'm hideous" bit.
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you're even cuter than I had imagined.
I can't lie, the beginning had had me worried.
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On April 01 2014 13:46 dravernor wrote:Show nested quote +On April 01 2014 13:39 Archas wrote:On April 01 2014 13:28 Rollin wrote:
What was your old TL name? I remember when you changed it, but I can't remember what it was :/. Aeres. I liked Aeres. He was a cool poster.
right? RIP
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Lalalaland34490 Posts
Aeres reminds me of Gene.
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dunno, but picture 1 sure looks like a girl holding up a note that says there are no girls on the internet...confusing stuff...
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You know, in retrospect, I would have chosen a different facial expression for that first picture if I had know how much of a raging lesbian I apparently look like. I apologize profusely for any confusion/mistakenly aroused boys out there that I may have caused/had penises erect because of me.
Just sayin'.
On April 02 2014 04:17 Saechiis wrote:
Attention whore.
Definitely. I agree.
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Are you over 18.
If yes pm me i have an interesting proposal for you
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On April 02 2014 08:13 Darkren wrote:
Are you over 18.
If yes pm me i have an interesting proposal for you
wat
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United States22154 Posts
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Canada11349 Posts
I got taken in yesterday until the pictures. But only because it was a full day before April 1st (at least for me.) My BS radar is pretty high today, but not in March. Archas. You are wicked and should feel shame. You don't even live on the other side of the International Date Line. But in reality, well played indeed.
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Im gonna post in this thread even though its 4/1 because of my username..,
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Does it bother anyone else that while this is a funny parody of sorts (and well crafted), the only reason it works is because of gender issues?
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no. it works because he lied and got one over on everyone.
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Well this was interesting lol.
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On April 03 2014 05:04 EatThePath wrote:
Does it bother anyone else that while this is a funny parody of sorts (and well crafted), the only reason it works is because of gender issues?
it does not bother anyone else we had a meeting
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are you a girl or a guy? that story was confusing and pictures lie i say they liiiiiieeeeeeeee
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Netherlands6181 Posts
On April 03 2014 23:00 marttorn wrote:Show nested quote +On April 03 2014 05:04 EatThePath wrote:
Does it bother anyone else that while this is a funny parody of sorts (and well crafted), the only reason it works is because of gender issues? it does not bother anyone else we had a meeting
Where was I for this meeting?
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you didn't have electricity iirc
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On April 04 2014 05:15 DeepElemBlues wrote:
are you a girl or a guy? that story was confusing and pictures lie i say they liiiiiieeeeeeeee
A guy.
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Haha thanks for clarifying! :D
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man, that april fools joke lol. cleaver one.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/lBHz9cY.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/wCjSRGt.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/9k4vNH2.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://www.teamliquid.net/saro/flymonkeys/monkeyl.gif)
