Diablo 2 Lord Of Destruction Battle Report 4

I started off on my vacation in Lut Gholein by taking some sight-seeing tours through the sewers. Meghan, my sidekick (and date), was not too pleased. I decided to sneak in through the backdoor, and Meghan was not too pleased about that either. She usually isn't when I pull that kind of stuff on her.


On our way through the sewers, Meghan and I came across some katana-wielding ninja mutants, who were eager to show us their skills. As they stepped closer though, Megan's irrational fear of tall people kicked-in, and suddenly DEAD MUTANTS!!!

Where have I seen sewer mutants before?

I scolded Meghan for her hasty actions, but I couldn't keep that up for long against such a pretty looking face. We continued our sightseeing and stumbled across a Monster shrine, which, upon activation, filled my belt with the popular energy drink.


This picture was taken moments after handing Meghan an energy drink.

Unfortunately, I misjudged Meghan's tolerance to the drink. The power of the Monster surged through her veins, making her believe she was invincible. She ran headfirst into a group of skeletons and was promptly slashed into pieces. She died a noble death.

Meghan nooooo!

I knew then that it could not be. No amount of reviving would bring her back. She was just not suited for this world (Act 2, normal mode). I cried for Meghan as I did for Annor. Both had saved me numerous times, and I was grateful. But I knew that this was the full extant of their worth. I slumped back to the town slave-merchant, Greiz, sad that I would never see Meghan again.

"Perhaps some shopping shall cure my sorrows." I thought. And indeed it did. I purchased Emilio and all my sadness was washed away.


I knew just from looking at him that Emilio and I would be best buds. He had that sort of quality that you don’t see very often: high health, doesn’t die easily, Latin descent. If there were food in this game, I’m sure he’d cook it spicy!

Emilio and I got along well together. He told me stories of his past, of how he was sold into slavery as a child after his parents were brutally murdered. I cracked jokes. Things between us just seemed to mesh. Though it wasn’t long before I was reminded of my mission to clear out the sewers. I knew Emilio stood no chance naked though. I was the only one with that capability/stupidity. I ordered him one of Fara’s finest voulges to equip.

Why does this weapon cost more than Emilio?

Emilio happily accepted my invitation to accompany me down into the sewers, eager to quench his thirst for blood. I informed him that reanimated skeletons often didn't have blood, but he refused to listen. With such enthusiasm, we went down there and kicked ass.


Unfortunately, the ass-kicking got a little rough for Emilio, and we had to tone it down a bit after he died to an undead ambush. I quickly went back to town, and paid Greiz to revive Emilio. I don't trust Greiz though. His knowledge of magic revival practice is nonexistent, and I think he just has multiple Emilio clones that he resells me every time my current Emilio dies.


After taking Emilio back into the sewer, I found him a better weapon too, forged by the ghosts of blacksmiths-past. It’s durability could not be repaired, so I told Emilio to be extra careful wielding it.


We spent many minutes searching through the sewers, until we finally came across some black skeletons. I had no idea these sewers were so culturally diverse!


We crushed them in the name of the Lord and Savior, Me, and ran past to the next room.

“There’s the boss!” I pointed out to Emilio. “Go kill it!”

Emilio squealed with delight at this opportunity and decided to take advantage of it by ignoring the boss, Radament, completely, and attacking the skeletons that were being continuously revived. I knew then that Emilio didn't have the foresight to see that attacking the guy that revives things is the correct move.


I attempted to stop the reviving by punching Radament in the face, but he only breathed poison on me and forced me back into town. I was losing health far too quickly to risk taking a picture. Playing naked on hardcore mode really drills it into you just how valuable your life is (in-game I mean. Not real life).


We went back in after healing and restocking on pots (and gambling away my life savings) and cornered ol’ Radament and started wailing on him. He fell after a good minute or so of constant attack.



Just a few...more...dozen hits.

With Radament’s death, lightning struck down through the ceiling and purified the air around us. I quickly took a pic and got out, not knowing if this light was good or communism.


With the sewers taken care of and the people of Lut Gholein able to unclog their toilets without fear, my job was done, and my quest to collect some quest items and then blend them inside of a cube could begin.