EPTI was trying to be someone else.
Someone who rebelled against the system
for the sake of nonconformity.
When you're confronted with the tough choice
standing at the top of the bridge,
whether to jump or take 5 more minutes to think.
Maybe it's already too late,
you're on the verge of gambling your life away
but you already showed everyone your cards.
There are never any guarantees in life.
There is no voice in your head promising you that if you return
to society,
to the real world,
that you won't continue indulging in your self-destructive fantasies
and living your life like a lie.
As a child you place great importance upon yourself.
Maybe you think,
"someday someone will write a book about me,
or maybe I'll write it,
maybe it will be a great autobiography".
Even now all I'm doing is walking,
right leg,
left leg,
I think I'll put this in my book too.
Everyone has dreams of flying.
Flying way above your house at night,
on the chilly cold breeze as it drifts you along like a bird,
and you swear you can kiss the moon and touch the stars.
If there is anything I've learned in life,
it can be summed up like this:
It doesn't get any easier.
My parents forced me to visit a psychiatrist when I was in high school.
They were worried about me,
my grades were slipping,
I had stopped speaking to people.
He asked me one question:
"What do you want in life?"
I answered
"not much...a bed and a computer,
enough to get by,
and enough money to pay the rent and groceries."
He smiled,
knowing how innocent I was.
How simple I thought life was going to be.
What I thought was,
I could do nothing and get lucky when the right opportunity presented itself,
came knocking on my door.
But I never thought I would ever have to do anything more
than be in the right place at the right time.
What I meant was,
I was content with meddling in mediocrity,
not distinguishing myself in any way.
And I've reflected upon this.
The competition is fierce.
Struggles are tough.
Sometimes you're tired of fighting.
Sometimes life feels like a rat race,
Where in the end everyone loses.
These questions don't completely go away,
the answers never become any clearer.
You just learn to tolerate the insecurity a little better.
But that is merely tolerance,
which is different from acceptance.
This life is all we know.
Why should we settle for anything less than the best?
Why should I ever have to compromise my happiness
and what I truly believe is right in my heart?
Sometimes people choose to drift through life,
like a leaf floating in the wind,
or a seashell being guided by the ocean currents.
And this way of thinking is not totally misguided.
Sometimes it is important to take a step back
and think things through.
If you spend time thinking and planning your journey,
you will get there faster and have less headaches.
You will spend less time asking for directions
and more time enjoying the beach.
Life is not about analyzing everything.
but if you always jump in before thinking,
it won't be a smooth ride.
The thing that separates people from robots
is that we naturally have emotions and empathy and courage
we exercise our judgment and intuition.
These things don't make us weaker,
they make us stronger.
If you don't like where you're at,
do something about it today.
If you don't like where you're going,
change directions.
If you don't like the people around you,
find new people that will respect you
and treat you like a human being.
Because you deserve better than this.
