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Hey TL. I took a short break from blogging because I was putting out absolute crap. I finally thought about blogging this when my friend brought it up. This isn't thought provoking like a political blog, but it's some food for thought from me after having a conversation with a friend of mine.
In the past I saw myself mainly as an introvert. Growing up, I was usually bubbly and effervescent, but only after being prodded out of my shy-shell. It seemed to me that I was a characteristic introvert, fun to be around and playful, but only around the select friends that I had. People who didn't jive with me just didn't get to see that. I was ok with that, but now I realize that was a product of my environment.
Later on I began to branch out, especially after I entered high school. I began to experience a multitude of new. I had my ups and downs as my blogs clearly indicate, but I of course survived. As I progressed, however, my shell began to fade. I still viewed myself as an introvert, but that label became less and less applicable. I was at a point where I could definitely call myself an extrovert, talking to 12 or more people constantly via text or facebook. Having 5 chats up most of the time on facebook while doing homework, etc. I was going as hard in the networking paint as I could it seemed. Then that phase ended. I got a girlfriend and spent almost all of my free time with her or my school friends.
Of course being in college now for about a month, I've realized that, like everyone, I fall into the gradient somewhere in between. I find that a lot of the time I really want to just play guitar and game while talking to friends doing the same, but that is so specific that I just tend to do that stuff alone. It's almost my meditation in a way. On the other hand, I'm definitely an extrovert, and I definitely lean heavily to that side of the gradient. Though the extremeness that I experienced in high school is kinda still present, just to a lesser degree.
So now that I've described that history, let me get to the point for you guys. What I'm getting at is not tooting my horn about talking to a bajillion and a half people (please don't take this blog that way, I don't mean it at all that way); my point is that I see a lot of people on here say things like, "I'm really shy," or "I'm an introvert," and I don't exactly know how to describe why I'm an extrovert or even how I could be only extroverted. I have these fluctuations where I could be trotting along the gradient on a given day, though I feel as if I'm more of an extrovert. Even more of what I'm trying to get across is that I see a lot of hostility on the forums to extroverts. I don't know why though.
It seems like a lot of the time I see the word extrovert have the connotation of something negative compared to the introvert which tends to either be connoted with positive or at least a pander to the majority population of TL commenters (even if that isn't necessarily true, I don't know you guys personally at all, just your forum personas). I feel a lot of the time being an extrovert isn't just described negatively, but seen negatively and I don't know why. I don't know about all extroverts, but I'm certainly not out to hurt introverts, though sometimes it seems the opposite way around.
I remember when Barrin did his "introverts awareness" blog. It was honestly a good blog, but the entire content of the blog was to describe being introverted in a way that, to me as I remember it, which in turn could be totally faulty, took a dump on being extroverted with the quotes he presented as words of wisdom. I could be reading way to far into this, into the words I see on the forums, as I regularly do. I don't feel slighted, I should make that clear, but I just don't comprehend what is so negative about being extroverted.
Thanks for reading guys.
 
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Possibly it is a reaction to constantly being asked things like "why are you so quiet?" "what's wrong?" "why are you so stuck up?" etc. In many places in this society it seems there is a tacit understanding that if you're not chatting loudly and asking everybody how they're doing, it means there's something wrong. Even the kindly and well meaning will often try to fix you so you're not so defectively quiet anymore. So, the embattled minority may vent their frustrations anonymously online, since they don't regularly chat with friends.
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I'm writing a book about (among other things) the current concept of personality (Big 5), and if I'm lucky, a few scientific articles as well. Look forward to reading from me in about 1-2 years. :o)
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You are what you do. If you never talk to anyone, of course you'll be 'introverted'.
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When I saw the title, I was sort of hoping for a battle royale between introverts and extroverts, TO THE DEATH.
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On October 04 2013 05:03 ninazerg wrote:
When I saw the title, I was sort of hoping for a battle royale between introverts and extroverts, TO THE DEATH.
haha I was tempted to say, "this isn't a nina blog" just to make sure no one thought I was being sarcastic about this. I literally thought this was right up your alley for a sarcastic version.
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On October 04 2013 04:13 Dagobert wrote:
I'm writing a book about (among other things) the current concept of personality (Big 5), and if I'm lucky, a few scientific articles as well. Look forward to reading from me in about 1-2 years. :o)
haha show me it when you finish it all, I'll be sure to read it  .
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On the contrary, I find that introversion is often seen in a negative light while extroverts are seen as "gifted" social butterflies. The only negativity I've ever heard directed towards extroverts concern a specific (smaller) population of extroverts (which are seen as fake or noisy), in the same way that a (greater) population of introverts is often painted as antisocial nerds.
I love hanging around extroverts. I don't need to talk nearly as much. With introverts, you have a greater risk of running into the situation of "oh, I can't really make good conversation, but neither can you, so we shall just sit here being awkward," which you almost never encounter while talking to extroverts (who either know how to carry on a conversation or can make a hasty but non-awkward exit).
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Welcome to the internet, where people have different opinions about topics.
More specific to your question though, I think the people you are referring to are probably insecure to some degree. I think a lot of introverts wish they could be 'the life of the party', meet girls and make friends easily.
Conversely, I think some extroverts are intimidated by people who are more stoic.
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On October 04 2013 05:40 docvoc wrote:Show nested quote +On October 04 2013 05:03 ninazerg wrote:
When I saw the title, I was sort of hoping for a battle royale between introverts and extroverts, TO THE DEATH. haha I was tempted to say, "this isn't a nina blog" just to make sure no one thought I was being sarcastic about this. I literally thought this was right up your alley for a sarcastic version.
lololololol.
I'll play for team introverts!
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I agree with Mothra - people usually conflate shyness and introversion and misinterpret introverted behavior for arrogance or other generally negative traits. Since the majority of TL is introverted, the dynamic is reversed, with extroverts often being spoken of as thoughtless or superficial.
Essentially a problem of neither "side" understanding each other. Most people don't know that sensitivity to stimuli is the root cause of how extroverted or introverted someone is.
There are many factors that play into how you wish to spend your time, but general sensitivity to stimuli is almost entirely biological and does not change much over the lifespan.You can tell whether a baby is an extrovert or an introvert, and in the absence of any interfering psychological problems, their behavior in adulthood will reflect that.
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Hm? I'm an extrovert and I didn't read anything you wrote.
tbh, I really didn't read carefully. I think you're in the same situation I was in a few months back. I use to think I was introverted then I realized I was just limiting myself.
I don't know, I'm still really smart, and I still do consider I could be more introverted in some wonky way. But I remember a dude posted that these things about introversion and extroversion creates too much of expectations from ourselves and takes away from actually doing what we want to do when we take the time to think about what we should be doing.
It's nice to know but don't get caught up in it
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On October 04 2013 08:50 Kenpachi wrote:Hm? I'm an extrovert and I didn't read anything you wrote. tbh, I really didn't read carefully. I think you're in the same situation I was in a few months back. I use to think I was introverted then I realized I was just limiting myself. I don't know, I'm still really smart, and I still do consider I could be more introverted in some wonky way. But I remember a dude posted that these things about introversion and extroversion creates too much of expectations from ourselves and takes away from actually doing what we want to do when we take the time to think about what we should be doing. It's nice to know but don't get caught up in it
That honestly makes a lot of sense. IMO, it goes with what Babylon said. Also even if you didn't read it, you pretty much have the gist of what I was talking about haha.
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i have never seen any hate directed towards extroverts. why would anyone hate on an extrovert, or an introvert for that matter? they are just different personality types.
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The thing about being introverted is that it is to a large degree not based on some inner, pre-set condition that cannot be changed. It is not a coincidence that the people we consider attractive, fun, and cool are almost overwhelmingly extroverted. People that get positive feedback from social experiences will be more confident socially and seek to continue the positive feedback, becoming extroverted. The kind of people most likely to get positive feedback are people that look good, are funny, and are just interesting. The opposite occurs for introverts. Negative feedback loop causes people to dislike socialization more, and that feedback can be caused by awkwardness, unattractiveness (not horrible if you have a strong personality), weirdness, obvious insecurity, etc.
Of course that is just my opinion, but I think extroverted people are by and large just better to be around and better-looking as well. I obviously think that being an extrovert is much better than an introvert, all things considered. I know plenty of incredibly intelligent people who are extroverted, and of course intelligent introverts as well, but I think people on TL discount all the benefits of having good social skills.
I've actually found myself becoming more extroverted recently though so what do I know. I do know that I am at least happier and that it is mostly due to being more self-confident and making an effort to socialize and be connected.
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On October 04 2013 09:31 dAPhREAk wrote:
i have never seen any hate directed towards extroverts. why would anyone hate on an extrovert, or an introvert for that matter? they are just different personality types.
Why do people hate on sports teams and worse yet, esports teams? no reason!
I've seen/heard plenty of hate directed to intro/extro - verts from extro/intro verts when I was little. I think that kind of mentality wanes off when you grow up, but there is probably a little piece of it there in the back of your brain when you see that kind of stuff. I know I do. I used to be much quieter and such around most people -- except those w/ whom I got along with already and then I'd be extroverted sometimes. But as I got older, I've been more extroverted and I typically can spot the introvert in the crowd and make his life horrible for the time being by trying to get him to talk, lol. I WAS LIKE HIM!
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On October 04 2013 09:40 Chocolate wrote:
The thing about being introverted is that it is to a large degree not based on some inner, pre-set condition that cannot be changed. It is not a coincidence that the people we consider attractive, fun, and cool are almost overwhelmingly extroverted. People that get positive feedback from social experiences will be more confident socially and seek to continue the positive feedback, becoming extroverted. The kind of people most likely to get positive feedback are people that look good, are funny, and are just interesting. The opposite occurs for introverts. Negative feedback loop causes people to dislike socialization more, and that feedback can be caused by awkwardness, unattractiveness (not horrible if you have a strong personality), weirdness, obvious insecurity, etc.
Of course that is just my opinion, but I think extroverted people are by and large just better to be around and better-looking as well. I obviously think that being an extrovert is much better than an introvert, all things considered. I know plenty of incredibly intelligent people who are extroverted, and of course intelligent introverts as well, but I think people on TL discount all the benefits of having good social skills.
I've actually found myself becoming more extroverted recently though so what do I know. I do know that I am at least happier and that it is mostly due to being more self-confident and making an effort to socialize and be connected.
Case in point. Extroverts = interesting, attractive, funny. Introverts = weird, unattractive, insecure. Favoring time alone is seen as an unfortunate defect, sometimes even a mental disorder. Doing things alone isn't seen as a choice but rather evidence of a lack of social skills or perhaps unsavory character.
From what I understand, intro/extroversion is merely indicative of how people recharge/spend energy. Introvert recharges while alone and expends energy while with others because they have to put on a socially acceptable mask (otherwise be judged as weird). Extrovert gains energy interacting with people then gets lost and bored when alone. But people seem to mean many different things when they use the terms so discussion tends to get meaningless and not constructive. That seems true with almost everything though except the least abstract concepts.
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Too many people confuse being introverted with being afraid of social interaction (because you suck at it). Also too many people confuse being extroverted with being afraid of being ignored and similar things.
Learn social skills, build confidence. Figure out what you really enjoy.
If you're only afraid of water because you can't swim, you're not afraid of water - you're afraid of drowning.
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I've come to the conclusion that extroversion and introversion is completely genetic or based on your brain chemistry.
If I'm on "various substances" I will happily say hi and talk to almost every random stranger I meet on the street and I really enjoy it, hot babes, old people, whoever. This will last about a week after heavy usage.
Once I've stopped for a few weeks, I lose the joy in casual conversation, and I don't want to talk to anyone unless I really have to or I'm close to them. Even with all the lessons I've learned from being my "other self", eventually the forces preventing me from doing that is enough to make me stop.
Its just the way your born. Sure you can change it, but you shouldn't feel like there's something wrong with being yourself, don't take it personally if someone thinks its bad.
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EPT
