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My Date With Jenny

Blogs > Epishade
Post a Reply
Epishade
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United States2267 Posts
September 20 2013 16:48 GMT
#1
Admittedly I was quite excited when Jenny first asked me out last Monday. I can still remember it all so clearly - me, begging Jenny for her number...and Jenny...giving it to me. I can’t remember a time before where I’ve been so smooth with the ladies.

As dinner approached, I grabbed the keys and got in my mom’s minivan. We were riding in style today! Upon arriving at Jenny’s, she emerged from the front door, wearing a magnificent scarlet dress that glistened in the sun. Thankfully I had on my limited edition Power Rangers t-shirt to match that. Jenny never mentioned it when she got in though, so I could only assume she was unfamiliar with the show.

“Where are we going?” She inquired. Luckily due to a previous experience, I knew never to take a date to McDonald's.

“You like Burger King?” I asked. I could see her face light up with approval.

“How about Chez François instead?”

“An excellent choice, my dear,” I said. “Let me just make a quick stop at the bank in that case.”

Jenny sighed. “Very well…”

I pulled up to Henry’s house and got out. “Don’t go anywhere,” I told her as I went inside. Not half an hour later I returned with $5 and an old sock puppet named Gary.

“Today’s our lucky day.” I said to Jenny as I got back in the minivan. “Looks like you’ll have enough money to order something too!”

Jenny rolled her eyes in obvious praise of my money-conjuring abilities. “Can we just go already?”

“Of course, of course!”

As we made our way to Cheese Francis, I pointed out various local landmarks to Jenny as we drove past them. She must have been astounded by my knowledge of the area as she kept telling me to “please stop.” A gentleman such as myself could detect the flirtatious sarcasm in her voice though. She wanted to know more, and I was her teacher. She was absolutely mystified by my knowledge of the famous “faulty traffic-light” which was damaged in the great rainstorm of ‘97. We passed by Old Faithful, a stop-sign who’s seen more than its fair share of rolling-stoppers. Uncle Benny’s Farm was on the left, which was when I brought it up that Uncle Benny wasn’t actually an uncle. You can imagine the chaos that ensued when I mentioned this tidbit!

After a long journey, we arrived at the restaurant and went inside. The maître d' greeted us and asked for our reservations.

“I’ll handle this.” I said to Jenny as I pushed her aside. I stepped next to the maître d' and started a private conversation with him.

“Your finest table!” I said to him as I stuffed Gary the sock puppet down his front pocket, which he subsequently removed and handed back to me. “Such kindness!” I thought. He wanted no compensation for his duties!

“Follow me.” He said.

“Free table!” I whispered to Jenny as we were led to our booth. The maître d' placed us next to the bathrooms. “And quick bathroom access too! What luck!”

Our waiter came and handed us our menus a few minutes later. I noticed that Jenny wasn’t looking over her menu at all.

“So what are you going to eat?” I asked.

“I’ll just get a salad.” She replied. “I became a vegan to protest slaughterhouse conditions.”

“That’s so interesting!” I told her. I was glad that we were getting to know each other. After some time our waiter appeared and took our orders.

“I’ll have the veal.” I said. Jenny gave me a nasty look. She ordered her salad and started lecturing me on the awful treatment that slaughterhouse animals underwent. I apologized and called our waiter back.

“Can I get some ribs as well?”

Jenny blew a fuse and started yelling at me. I suppose that was pretty inconsiderate of me. I planned my elaborate apology during the ensuing silence that lasted until our meals came. I knew it couldn’t fail. When our meals were laid out before us, I asked Jenny that question that every girl dreams about.

“Want some ribs?”

Jenny adamantly refused to touch my ribs. She didn’t find it at all funny either when I was pretending to lob ribs at her and accidentally spilled her wine. She ate her salad in silence and motioned for the waiter to bring the check. I had just finished my veal by the time the check came and the waiter asked me about boxing my untouched ribs.

“Well, you know what they say about day-old ribs!” I laughed and had them throw the ribs away. Jenny sat there as I did this, speechless. I could tell she was sad that our date was coming to an end. I put on Gary the sock puppet to cheer her up but to no avail. I waited for Jenny to pick up the check only to notice she had made no movements toward it in the slightest.

“Maybe she forgot about it.” I thought, and I slid the checkbook toward her side of the table. Upon further inspection, I saw that she was in-fact looking right at the checkbook. I could tell she wanted me to handle it first so I took the checkbook and placed my $5 in it.

“I think that should about cover it!” I said as I got up to leave.

“That hardly covers the meal at all!” She complained. Indeed, perhaps I was being a bit selfish. I should help pay for her meal too. It is the gentlemanly thing to do after all. I pulled my wallet back out and gave her a few dollars.

“That should be enough to cover it.” I said. Jenny stormed out of the restaurant in a hurry. “She must want to beat the night traffic.” I thought.

As we got back in the minivan and I drove Jenny home, I couldn’t help but think about the lovely time we both had. I had a blast! Eventually I pulled up to Jenny’s house whereupon she got out of the minivan and ran for the front door. She turned around when she got there and gave me the finger. “What a sense of humor she has!” I thought as I pulled out of the driveway. “I think she’s the one.”

***
Pinhead Larry in the streets, Dirty Dan in the sheets.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States44114 Posts
September 20 2013 17:09 GMT
#2
Very cute... is this satire based off a true story, or just completely fabricated?
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
doubleupgradeobbies!
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Australia1187 Posts
September 20 2013 17:10 GMT
#3
Heh, quite amusing, would read again.
MSL, 2003-2011, RIP. OSL, 2000-2012, RIP. Proleague, 2003-2012, RIP. And then there was none... Even good things must come to an end.
ne0lith
Profile Joined August 2011
537 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-09-20 17:16:29
September 20 2013 17:14 GMT
#4
I usually like your stuff and this one had its moments but I feel like the stories that you write are all too similar (you had another one just like this, with a guy going on a first date, I enjoyed that more as it was something fresh back then). I'm quite sure you can step away from the idea of an unclassy protagonist who is oblivious to how he is perceived by others and still do something good. But that's just like, my opinion, man. If you feel like it's part of your style, don't mind me.
Epishade
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United States2267 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-09-20 17:34:54
September 20 2013 17:33 GMT
#5
On September 21 2013 02:14 ne0lith wrote:
I usually like your stuff and this one had its moments but I feel like the stories that you write are all too similar (you had another one just like this, with a guy going on a first date, I enjoyed that more as it was something fresh back then). I'm quite sure you can step away from the idea of an unclassy protagonist who is oblivious to how he is perceived by others and still do something good. But that's just like, my opinion, man. If you feel like it's part of your style, don't mind me.


Thank you for your feedback. I too felt that this was a little rehashed because I had already done an awkward date story before. I had ideas before I started writing that I didn't feel would fit in anywhere else other than another awkward date. Heck I'm surprised anyone even remembered that My First Date story (which I consider to be my best, along with Rock and AH) because I posted it so long ago.

I know a lot of my stories use completely oblivious protagonists as well. In a lot of cases where I plan on "messing up something badly" in a story, the best way I know to do it and make it funny is by making the protagonist unaware he's even screwing up. Every so often I'll have ideas that I want to use that just don't work without making people oblivious. But I do see what you mean and thanks for telling me.

On September 21 2013 02:09 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Very cute... is this satire based off a true story, or just completely fabricated?


All of my stories are completely fabricated except for Rock and Asshopper.
Pinhead Larry in the streets, Dirty Dan in the sheets.
IronManSC
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States2119 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-09-20 18:14:49
September 20 2013 18:14 GMT
#6
Humorous, would read again.
SC2 Mapmaker || twitter: @ironmansc || Ohana & Mech Depot || 3x TLMC finalist || www.twitch.tv/sc2mapstream
jrkirby
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States1510 Posts
September 20 2013 18:26 GMT
#7
5/5 Girl Blog so good
Qwyn
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States2779 Posts
September 20 2013 22:51 GMT
#8
Once again, very weird.
"Think of the hysteria following the realization that they consciously consume babies and raise the dead people from their graves" - N0
Chairman Ray
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States11903 Posts
September 21 2013 00:10 GMT
#9
Finally a happy and successful girl blog!
obesechicken13
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States10467 Posts
September 21 2013 01:33 GMT
#10
Sounds like you lucked out. Vegan who won't stop talking about it and expects you to pay and eat at super fancy restaurants? Wallet can't handle that.
I think in our modern age technology has evolved to become more addictive. The things that don't give us pleasure aren't used as much. Work was never meant to be fun, but doing it makes us happier in the long run.
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