I'd like to think that there are events and times in a person's life where he has the opportunity to grow up. Not just because he physically gets older over time, but because he matures mentally and socially as a reaction to a situation. Perhaps it's going to university, starting a new job, getting married, or dealing with the reality of a tragedy. After all, both good and bad experiences can lead to reflection and growth.
And that's not to say that one single phenomenon must be responsible for a huge surge in a person's development; it can surely be more subtle or take a long period of time. But I do think that someone can look back on an event- or even realize the change while it's still happening- and understand they've become wiser and stronger in response to that event occurring.
For me, it's this semester.
About a month ago, I got a job at NJIT teaching precalculus, and it was my first official job as any kind of classroom teacher (barring student teaching, which doesn't have a hiring- or salaried- aspect, and ignoring my old position as a teaching assistant). I've been tutoring mathematics for roughly ten years now (since high school), and I'd always been careful to describe my job as a "tutor" rather than a teacher. Because that's what I was, and being a tutor doesn't earn you the credit of being a teacher.
But as I've started this professorship, I realized that it wasn't just my job description that was changing (I still tutor on the side anyway). I was changing too. I am changing.
At the most basic level, I no longer call myself a PhD student who tutors math; I call myself a college professor who's also working on his PhD and tutoring math on the side. The very fact that you now describe yourself as something else, something more, surely means that there's been an event in your life that has modified you greatly. I can now identify as the occupation I've wanted for years; everything else comes second.
Obtaining this job has forced me to not only step up to the task of teaching college students four times per week, but also to take the rest of my weekly grind more seriously, and view it from a different perspective. Like the relationships I have with my colleagues at Rutgers. Many of my colleagues in my doctoral program are teachers; they were always the "real" adults who are twice my age and have a spouse and kids. I had just felt like the kid who never stopped going to school, who would probably be a professional student if that were possible. Even though I've been respected by my colleagues, I finally feel like I deserve that respect, that I can better relate to their jobs (despite them being twenty years my senior). Not perfectly relate, but better relate.
I'm finally able to start organizing my thoughts on my research as well. I can finally explain my interest as something along the lines of: "My doctoral research is related to educational practice. I'd like to analyze how students approach mathematical problem solving tasks, so that math educators can be better equipped to promote and build off these strategies." Or something like that. I want to discover strategies used by math students to solve complicated problems, so that teachers can have them in their arsenal and already know how to approach math problems in ways that students are more receptive to. Probably at the high school level, using a mostly qualitative study (presumably grounded theory). I want math education to get better, and the United States could certainly use all the help it can get.
I've always been good at organizing schedules (it's simply an optimization problem), but this semester has really forced me to step up my game. I need to make sure not to sacrifice quality for quantity. I'm teaching at NJIT four days per week. I'm at Rutgers for two days. I'm working at two tutoring centers. I currently have thirteen private tutoring clients that I see per week. I'm working on several research projects right now, including visiting a charter school, observing those teachers, and working with them to create solid, engaging lessons. Plus actually creating my lectures and grading assessments, as well as any assignments my PhD classes require. (And then there's the fact that I need to go to UPenn every once in a while to visit my girlfriend in vet school.) Most days I'm essentially working 9 AM - 9 PM, but it's doing the things I love. I'm often spread really thin, but things get easier over time, once you get the hang of it. And it's easy to keep going when you finally see the lightbulb go on above a struggling student's head, or when the mother of a student I tutor makes me dinner because I'm halfway through my marathon of private and public clients, and I haven't had a break for lunch.
I'd rather have too much opportunity than not enough. Each job I do, every part of my day, now has a purpose. Teaching at NJIT gives me a foot in the door for future college professorships, not to mention great experience and something I can put on my resume. By the time I'm done at Rutgers, I'll have a PhD and will have grown even more as an educator and researcher. (I will have spent about ten years there- combining my bachelor's, master's, and doctoral years.) As for tutoring, it's allowing me countless networking opportunities, and the pay is pretty good too. I hardly have to worry about procrastinating, because I don't even have time for wasting time.
Although I must admit, even with my head on straighter than ever before, I'm still nostalgic for the times when I could just fool around for hours on the N64, watch White-Ra's special tactics, and have less responsibility. I'm currently teasing myself by wondering whether I should change my EG team icon back to SKT- the team I used to favor above all others- because of coaches and players like iloveoov, Boxer, Parting, and Rain. (If iNcontroL leaves EG for some odd reason, I'm definitely changing back.) I'm also wondering when the next time I'll be able to spend time on SC2 is (winter vacation, between semesters?), and whether or not I'll even buy TL+ again (I have three days to figure this one out before it expires).
But right now, real life is kicking in again: my kids have an exam- my exam- next week, and it's time to start reviewing with them. Time to go teach. It's where I want to be.
At the most basic level, I no longer call myself a PhD student who tutors math; I call myself a college professor who's also working on his PhD and tutoring math on the side. The very fact that you now describe yourself as something else, something more, surely means that there's been an event in your life that has modified you greatly. I can now identify as the occupation I've wanted for years; everything else comes second.
This is a healthy attitude, because who would want to be called an adjunct?
Teaching at NJIT gives me a foot in the door for future college professorships, not to mention great experience and something I can put on my resume.
All they care in my field is how good your phd program was and how much you publish in good journals. If I score low on both, I'll slave away as an adjunct for 12 years on minimum wage and no job security at all until they ban me forever from teaching entirely (It's a german thing - if you don't get TT within a certain amount of time, you have to leave academia forever; hilarious but true).
Teaching at NJIT gives me a foot in the door for future college professorships, not to mention great experience and something I can put on my resume.
All they care in my field is how good your phd program was and how much you publish in good journals. If I score low on both, I'll slave away as an adjunct for 12 years on minimum wage and no job security at all until they ban me forever from teaching entirely (It's a german thing - if you don't get TT within a certain amount of time, you have to leave academia forever; hilarious but true).
That's really too bad! We have plenty of research-focused universities (Rutgers New Brunswick campus is one of them), but I've also wanted to be an educator first and a researcher second. If I have the opportunity to do more research when I become a professor, I'd be more than happy to do so... but first and foremost, I wish to teach.
On September 19 2013 22:45 needcomputer wrote: Hey I always thought you needed a Phd first to be a professor?
anyways, I really liked this blog because I was interested in this career path. I will re-read more closely when I have the time thanks!
You need a phd for tenure, but they are ok giving you short-term contracts without one; check http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Professors_in_the_United_States#Adjunct_Professor for more info. We don't actually have an equivalent in Germany and the positions most similar to the US adjuncts are not even called professorships over here.
I'm pretty sure that some teaching colleges (rather than the big universities) here in the United States are even okay with you just having a master's degree. Most places do require a doctorate, but some don't.
On September 19 2013 20:54 Erraa93 wrote: good read sir.
this was an amazing read! I have to say that I agree with everything you wrote. I too have felt the change at certain points in my life. Going through university, landing a job etc... with every change, I feel like I've gained something and I think that is the reason that in the end, we 'obtain' the title. If you are going through university, whether you are in your first or last year, you would never say I'm a mathematician but rather I'm a university student studying math. Once you graduated, calling yourself a mathematician feels more right and it feels better and even more authentic the more you work in the field.
I have to say though, you are loaded with work. I understand your view and how having so much work leaves little time to procrastinate and have to say that I agree completely. A couple of years ago, I was doing several jobs and volunteering at the same time. I had no time for anything else. By the time you get back to your home, you have to leave soon enough. As tiresome as it was, there was something about working so much. Makes you feel so alive, hard to describe to anyone who hasn't had such a busy schedule lol. Hope to see more blogs in the near future!
You don't need a PhD to be a professor, I'm in architecture school and majority of my professors have 5-year bachelors or masters. A PhD in architecture is pointless. I find many of the professors that have a PhD are more focused on research and seminars rather than teaching students, absolutely monotone lecturing robots.
On September 20 2013 06:56 BigFan wrote: I have to say though, you are loaded with work. I understand your view and how having so much work leaves little time to procrastinate and have to say that I agree completely. A couple of years ago, I was doing several jobs and volunteering at the same time. I had no time for anything else. By the time you get back to your home, you have to leave soon enough. As tiresome as it was, there was something about working so much. Makes you feel so alive, hard to describe to anyone who hasn't had such a busy schedule lol. Hope to see more blogs in the near future!
I agree with you; when you're busy all the time doing things that you love, it becomes far easier to deal with all the running around. This is much more satisfying than having more free time at the expense of taking classes I don't find interesting, or doing some menial task on a daily basis.
On September 20 2013 06:56 BigFan wrote: I have to say though, you are loaded with work. I understand your view and how having so much work leaves little time to procrastinate and have to say that I agree completely. A couple of years ago, I was doing several jobs and volunteering at the same time. I had no time for anything else. By the time you get back to your home, you have to leave soon enough. As tiresome as it was, there was something about working so much. Makes you feel so alive, hard to describe to anyone who hasn't had such a busy schedule lol. Hope to see more blogs in the near future!
I agree with you; when you're busy all the time doing things that you love, it becomes far easier to deal with all the running around. This is much more satisfying than having more free time at the expense of taking classes I don't find interesting, or doing some menial task on a daily basis.
Thanks for your support
np. yes exactly Good to hear that you found your calling ^^
I think professor means something else up in UK, dat culture. I think when I'm in Canada ill tell peeps I'm an Associate Professor of Medicine or something.
Anyways, it's awesome you found something you love, going to work definately doesn't such if it gets you even a bit (or in your case, a lot) stoked
On September 21 2013 09:23 Burrfoot wrote: Just work your way into a tenure position and then you'll be all set! Even if its a less prestigious school (girls are hotter to balance)
Haha while I'm certainly aiming towards a tenure position eventually, I don't think I'll be permitted to do anything with those hotter girls (because I'd probably get fired by both my boss and my girlfriend).
EPT
