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I feel so lost. There's a pain inside me that feels like it's squeezing my heart. I have a moral code that I honestly try my hardest to follow, and now I suddenly feel like I am purposely breaking it. I could stop myself, but I'm not.. it feels like I'm weak-hearted, or that have I have a weak willpower, allowing me to give in and break my own code.
Loyalty is part of this moral code and it's the very one I constantly find myself breaking. At heart, I'm a loyal person. At least I try to be.
My girlfriend really means a lot to me and I do love her. I'm also the first guy who she's loved and I don't want to be the guy who breaks her heart.
She's amazing and she played a big part in bringing me in a closer relationship to God. However, I'm starting to catch feelings for another girl that I've been hanging out with a lot. My girlfriend has her suspicions and I told her it was nothing. But I can't keep lying to her and betraying her like this. She's been so perfect to me, it isn't fair to her.
I just don't know what to do. This is causing a lot of stress, it's starting to distract me from school.
By the way, I'm in college and my girlfriend is in high school.
 
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On September 05 2013 13:52 PaqMan wrote:
By the way, I'm in college and my girlfriend is in high school.
Be honest. Break up. Enjoy the other girl.
Repeat once bored again
But honestly, its the best + Show Spoiler + thing you can do for her if your not into the relationship anymore. She'll come to respect you for it and it will fuck her up alot less long and short term if you break up cleanly rather then giggigiding someone other girls gashmoigan behind her back (giggity.).
Once knew a girl who completely changed her personality after having some guy take her virginity after 6 months of a relationship and dump her a few days later. She's still pretty screwed up now. Not the same thing but it goes to show how vulnerable girls are of that age really.
Do it clean.
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Cthsazsa, work on your will if you think it is important. Is the other girl into you? You can be left with nothing, so at least be sure what you can have.
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just be honest with her
also once you hit college, it's probably best to break up with any high school girls
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If you are in a long-lasting relationship you have to be aware that you may develop a crush on some other girl.
This is pure brain chemistry and oftentimes there is little we can do about it. The question is what to do with it...
You can simply dump your girl and your dreams of loyalty into the dumpster and enjoy some good time with your new gf / whatever.
Or you can decide that you want to dedicate yourself to your current relationship and simply ignore the crush.
I think that this is a horrible misconception ("I have a crush on sb so my current relationship has to end").
I can't tell if your current gf is the right one for you. I'm only saying that the fact that you're developing some feelings for another should not be a deciding factor while making these kind of decisions.
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Hey OP, did you know that the wisdom which will allow you to get through it is in this video.
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Whichever one will let you do anal first!
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On September 05 2013 14:03 Capped wrote:Show nested quote +On September 05 2013 13:52 PaqMan wrote:
By the way, I'm in college and my girlfriend is in high school. Be honest. Break up. Enjoy the other girl. Repeat once bored again But honestly, its the best + Show Spoiler + thing you can do for her if your not into the relationship anymore. She'll come to respect you for it and it will fuck her up alot less long and short term if you break up cleanly rather then giggigiding someone other girls gashmoigan behind her back (giggity.). Once knew a girl who completely changed her personality after having some guy take her virginity after 6 months of a relationship and dump her a few days later. She's still pretty screwed up now. Not the same thing but it goes to show how vulnerable girls are of that age really. Do it clean.
Listen to this guy. He's telling the truth. Been through similar circumstances, made this same call. Gotta say, it won't hurt 2 weeks later.
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You're young so to be honest you don't have any real responsibility to this girl, you don't have children, she doesn't depend on you financially etc
Let's face facts, almost everyone breaks someones heart at some stage in their life. The key is to not be a dick about it, you're in a good relationship but you think you're getting feelings for someone else. It's really not that unusual, especially at your age. It would be nice if you could be honest and talk it but people, even adults, are hardly rational about these things and teenage girls are a special kind of crazy.
You have to decide which girl you want to be with most, don't guilt trip yourself into staying with somebody you'd rather not be with, that will just end badly for both of you, but don't throw away something good for a bit on the side, that isn't worth it either.
It's a judgement call that you have to make and yes you may well make the wrong decision but you won't look back and regret things if you weren't a huge asshole about it. So just make your decision and try to be as civil as possible, if your current gf goes ape shit at you, take it like a man, it's not nice hurting someone and they are likely to lash out but know that she'll get over it sooner rather than later (most young people get over it pretty quickly).
Good luck.
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Stop hanging out with the other girl. Be faithfull. Stuff like this happens, you have a choise. Feelings are not always to be trusted! Also, be wise if you are going to be honest with your girlfriend
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On September 05 2013 19:11 mdb wrote:
bang them both
Invite them for a 3FFA!
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loyal? it's not loyal to do what is emotionally easy in the moment. It is loyal to be honest to people so that they can evaluate the real information.
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I feel like it sounds like you have no problems with your current gf, it sounds like a good relationship. If you love her and she loves you why break that? ALthough she is still in HS and that kinda sucks.
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Idk if I should give advice on this or not. Here's general advice. I won't tell you to break up or not, but I will say that so long as you and your gf are apart, you will develop feelings for other girls at a faster rate and with more powerful attraction than you will if your girlfriend is in closer proximity to you. If you're in town with her, you can most likely make it work. If you went far away from home, the effort to stay together is not just significantly harder, but also harder for her to stay with you. The choice is yours now.
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This is way too dramatic.
You know what to do - get it done.
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Seems like there's a lot of unnecessary guilt here. You dated a girl younger than you – nothing wrong there. You decided to continue dating her into college – still fine. While in college, you met a girl that you're starting to have feelings for – can't be helped. Your girlfriend asked about it, and you told her it was nothing – probably best, until you figure out how you feel about it.
If you cheat on her, then you've done something wrong. Otherwise, either break up with her or don't, and either way, don't look back.
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On September 05 2013 13:52 PaqMan wrote:
I feel so lost. There's a pain inside me that feels like it's squeezing my heart. I have a moral code that I honestly try my hardest to follow, and now I suddenly feel like I am purposely breaking it. I could stop myself, but I'm not.. it feels like I'm weak-hearted, or that have I have a weak willpower, allowing me to give in and break my own code.
Loyalty is part of this moral code and it's the very one I constantly find myself breaking. At heart, I'm a loyal person. At least I try to be.
My girlfriend really means a lot to me and I do love her. I'm also the first guy who she's loved and I don't want to be the guy who breaks her heart.
She's amazing and she played a big part in bringing me in a closer relationship to God. However, I'm starting to catch feelings for another girl that I've been hanging out with a lot. My girlfriend has her suspicions and I told her it was nothing. But I can't keep lying to her and betraying her like this. She's been so perfect to me, it isn't fair to her.
I just don't know what to do. This is causing a lot of stress, it's starting to distract me from school.
By the way, I'm in college and my girlfriend is in high school.
How long have you been dating?
It is almost inevitable to feel like you are developing romantic feelings for another girl after you've dated one for a long time. It happens to most people once they get out of the "new/shiny" phase of a relationship. This is exacerbated by long-distance relationships. What you need to do is a couple things.
1) Evaluate. Is this other girl REALLY worth it? Is she everything that your current girlfriend is to you and more? Is there anything missing from your current relationship (besides distance)?
2) Do you really want to give up your current relationship just for excitement? Countless men have been dumb enough to do that.
3) What do you actually want? Do you want a relationship, or just casual dating?
4) Do you really want to try to sustain a relationship between you (a college student) and your girlfriend (a high school student)? This is almost never a good idea.
You need to find out what you really want and just be straight up honest with your girlfriend. Dragging her along because you're afraid of breaking up or any other bullshit will just get you bitch slapped, and rightfully so.
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Ouch dude you really need to figure out what you want. Relationships, if for the long term, are about wanting what's best for the other (despite yourself), and having a willingness to work through problems. Do you want a long-term relationship, or do you want to just be selfish and continue mentally cheating while lying to your girlfriend about it?
Either way you better man up and decide what you want!
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Deny till you die. Honesty is dumb as fuck. It's better to break up with someone then to tell them you're cheating on them. Serves no purpose at all. If you easily fall for girls you hang out with and you like your gf then stop hanging out with women. Know yo' self.
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Hey , i went throught the EXACT same thing ,only difference is she was not in highschool but in another Uni 12 hours away. Broke up 5 days ago. It has nothing to do with loyalty... you are both extremely young. If you want another girl so bad , then it means this one has to go.. DO IT.
P.S. OP says he didn't cheat, he just developed feelings.
P.S. you do not tell her it is somebody else ofc
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EPT
