|
Wow, what a difference a couple of years can make.
Looking back, it would be hard to predict my current state of affairs. I definitely needed some more time to grow up, and hard times really help you see what you are made of. While I was finishing up my master's degree, I had to serve tables as a way to make ends meet. They didn't meet very well, but I made it work the best I could.
Certain events transpired over a year and a half ago that really changed the path I was going in life. I had become a person who wouldn't stand up for himself, and I didn't have a very good support structure. I partially blame this on myself, since I had let people into my life who didn't need to be there. A certain person left on their own accord, and it devastated me.
Unbeknownst to me, it would be the best thing that could have happened. I began the process of healing, and I had to determine what it was that I wanted to be in life. I had figured out what career I wanted to start, but nothing else was certain. Being single has its ups and downs. On the upside, you can really figure out what you want to do and how you want to do it. On the downside, you can get very lonely and start to lose hope. I figured that if I worked diligently to improve myself, then maybe, eventually, other people would start to notice.
And they did. I started to become more outgoing and (somewhat) more mature. I stopped letting fear control my actions. After that, real change began to take place.
Now, I am finally at a place in my life where I can really help people. I have always wanted to do that, but I had to help myself first. Some people may call it selfish, but I don't really think it is. Once people who you think love you abandon you, all you really have is yourself. Luckily, I reconnected with my family, and started to understand the slippery slope I was heading down. I caught myself on the edge of the cliff. I even looked down into the abyss.
I'm just glad I found the strength to pull myself back up. I will never go down that path again. Never.
 
|
Now, I am finally at a place in my life where I can really help people. I have always wanted to do that, but I had to help myself first. Some people may call it selfish, but I don't really think it is. Once people who you think love you abandon you, all you really have is yourself. Luckily, I reconnected with my family, and started to understand the slippery slope I was heading down. I caught myself on the edge of the cliff. I even looked down into the abyss.
This is a very good paragraph and I agree with what you say: it's important to find the balance between being completely selfless and completely selfish; neither extreme is ever good.
Sounds like you're now a solid person. I'm glad for you and wish you all the best of luck for wherever life takes you! 
|
that's a really good attitude to have. sometimes terrible shit happens, and it's unavoidable. so the best thing you can do is to see it as "the best thing that could have happened." and it really is, because you learn to deal with it, and overall your life improves.
|
On August 13 2013 04:52 sorrowptoss wrote:Show nested quote +Now, I am finally at a place in my life where I can really help people. I have always wanted to do that, but I had to help myself first. Some people may call it selfish, but I don't really think it is. Once people who you think love you abandon you, all you really have is yourself. Luckily, I reconnected with my family, and started to understand the slippery slope I was heading down. I caught myself on the edge of the cliff. I even looked down into the abyss. This is a very good paragraph and I agree with what you say: it's important to find the balance between being completely selfless and completely selfish; neither extreme is ever good. Sounds like you're now a solid person. I'm glad for you and wish you all the best of luck for wherever life takes you!
Thanks! Things have definitely gotten better and continue to do so. I made the mistake of keeping someone in my life who said they loved me but didn't show it with her actions. It was conditional love, with the condition being her version that she wanted of me.
|
On August 13 2013 04:54 ieatkids5 wrote:
that's a really good attitude to have. sometimes terrible shit happens, and it's unavoidable. so the best thing you can do is to see it as "the best thing that could have happened." and it really is, because you learn to deal with it, and overall your life improves.
In a nutshell, yes. It was very difficult for me at first to see the silver lining. Life has its way of humbling you. I'm just glad it happened before things got too out of hand.
Its just a different mindset that you have to have, and it wasn't the knee jerk reaction that I had. I needed and received some therapy, and a professional's opinion really helped me understand what I needed to understand.
|
good post. glad you're happier with yourself now.
something i definitely need in my life...but easier said than done
|
|
|
I think it would be even better with a natural home rug. 
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
