EPTWhat I really want to make this thing about today is about a feeling of emptiness that I have recently noticed. I recently got back from college and I’ve been back home for a bit; I’m bored. I’ve been playing a half decent amount of DOTA 2 and playing around with unity and linear algebra. All of it is interesting but not fulfilling in that with unity I’m still getting the basics down so right now I’m just grinding out the work; I feel like once I get past that stage things will be a lot more fun but it will be a while till I have the whole thing down to the point where I can start doing some cool stuff. I’m using a guide that I found on a game developers Facebook page and it is really good so if you want to learn here it is: http://walkerboystudio.com/html/unity_training___free__.html. But besides the academics I’ve been hanging out with my friends and having fun but there has always been this lingering feeling of dissatisfaction behind the interactions.
It could be that I’m unhappy with what my friends are doing in terms of drugs and cigarettes but I think its more because I don’t like the path they are going down. I’m not going to say whether or not the path I’m taking is right or wrong because I can’t be non-biased about such a thing. What I think I’m actually unhappy about is the way they making their choices, not the actual choice. I fee like they haven’t really though past what will be the best time in the present and I would like to see more long term thinking from them.
Moving past my friends I also just think it’s because I’m missing something. Part of me want to say it’s a just a lack of a girlfriend but I think its more just that I haven’t really expressed myself to someone in a while. Granted I have in this blog, but it is a different ballpark when you express yourself to someone in person. This blog has been something that I have been able to use to practice writing and express feelings in quite literally the safest environment possible, and for that I’m extremely grateful.
I don’t know what exactly is the cause of these feelings but I’m going to try and figure it out and keep writing about it. As a side note I will be working on a brief story like the ones I have posted before this time centered on love. Probably going to be extremely difficult to write just because there is a lot of cliché stuff that I want to avoid. Hopefully it works out :D As a side note here is a song I recently found and really like:
