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Talking to girls - Page 2

Blogs > Mr.Bimbles
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Torte de Lini
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Germany38463 Posts
June 20 2013 16:12 GMT
#21
Don't you go to school?
https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)
Mr.Bimbles
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
Iceland457 Posts
June 20 2013 16:16 GMT
#22
@stratos_spear

Awesome name btw, but I don't think my age has anything to do with this. I mean I often talk to random guys at the gym, but that just never happens with girls, they're all so shy and I feel as if, I'm interrupting their gym routine and forcing them to talk to me. But when I walk up to and start talking to guys (not friends just acquaintances) we just talk about some random shit and stuff and have a normal conversation.
"If I was your wife I would poison your coffee" "Well If I was your husband I'd drink it"
ziggurat
Profile Joined October 2010
Canada847 Posts
June 20 2013 16:16 GMT
#23
I'll just add that the most important thing is not just what you say but how you say it. Always be confident, relaxed, sincerely interested but not desperate. If you feel awkward when you approach a girl she will as well. If you feel relaxed and natural that will shine through.

The other fact you will need to accept if you approach women randomly is that you will get shot down a lot. This is not a lot of fun but if you do it a lot you will not really care anymore. If rejection bothers you (and it bothers most guys) then you should probably stop approaching girls randomly and focus more on doing activities where you will meet them naturally.
Work and Play
Profile Blog Joined June 2013
12 Posts
June 20 2013 16:25 GMT
#24
1. Be confident. Even when you're really not. Fake it till you make it.

2. Don't start talking endlessly about yourself, but show genuine interest in her.

3. Look at #1 again, because that's really a deal-breaker. Also it helps to smile!

Just my two cents.
Mr.Bimbles
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
Iceland457 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-06-20 16:39:46
June 20 2013 16:27 GMT
#25
On June 21 2013 01:12 Torte de Lini wrote:
Don't you go to school?


I do

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/girls-in-other-schools-girls-in-my-school.jpg

Edit: Don't take this post srsly.
"If I was your wife I would poison your coffee" "Well If I was your husband I'd drink it"
solidbebe
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Netherlands4921 Posts
June 20 2013 16:36 GMT
#26
On June 21 2013 01:27 Mr.Bimbles wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 21 2013 01:12 Torte de Lini wrote:
Don't you go to school?


I do

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/girls-in-other-schools-girls-in-my-school.jpg


Either you go to school with 5 girls or you have unreasonably high standards.

Getting the feeling it's the second one.
That's the 2nd time in a week I've seen someone sig a quote from this GD and I have never witnessed a sig quote happen in my TL history ever before. -Najda
Mr.Bimbles
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
Iceland457 Posts
June 20 2013 16:39 GMT
#27
On June 21 2013 01:36 solidbebe wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 21 2013 01:27 Mr.Bimbles wrote:
On June 21 2013 01:12 Torte de Lini wrote:
Don't you go to school?


I do

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/girls-in-other-schools-girls-in-my-school.jpg


Either you go to school with 5 girls or you have unreasonably high standards.

Getting the feeling it's the second one.


I'm just joking, really it's the fact that there isn't a class system it's the other kind and I feel as if all the classes i've gone to I haven't been attracted to the girls there. I Got one girl that I kinda became friends with and I was attracted to but then I figured out she was already in a relationship but sure, there are a lot of cute girls there!
"If I was your wife I would poison your coffee" "Well If I was your husband I'd drink it"
matiK23
Profile Joined May 2011
United States963 Posts
June 20 2013 16:46 GMT
#28
So in this case, you'd want to answer your own question after she answers yours."Oh cool, I just joined the gym not too long ago. I really like it because it actually has squat racks. How do you like it?" and so on. You just need to be aware of your surroundings. If you have trouble being spontaneous about topics, I'd keep a journal. At first you probably won't have alot to say and your first entry might be one sentence but like training any muscle you'll get better at it.
Without a paddle up shit creek.
Clazziquai10
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
Singapore1949 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-06-20 17:12:58
June 20 2013 17:08 GMT
#29
Think about what you want to talk to her about before you approach her, not the other way round. Have a decent list of questions in your mind before you approach her, and think of how she might respond and how you will respond. Kind of like having a build order in your mind before you hit the "find match" button on ladder haha......

"Do you gym regularly?"
"How do you usually work out?"
"You should try out XXX machine, it's really good for working out your abs/legs/arms etc"
"Are you a member at this gym?"
"You look like a sporty person. Do you play sports?"
"Oh you do? Which sport do you play?"
"Oh you don't? Thats surprising. You should try out XXX sport. I do, and it's pretty fun!"

yadayadayada.....
Japhybaby
Profile Blog Joined February 2013
Canada301 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-06-20 17:29:27
June 20 2013 17:24 GMT
#30
it's not what you say, it's how you make her feel. So something like "what do you do?" is fine if you want information, but it's bad if you want to make someone feel good because it makes them feel judged. Your goal is to seem approachable. It's stuff like remembering to smile, staying out of her space if thats what she wants, not making it strictly flirting but also remembering that she is an individual with her own day.

You ask how do you avoid this.. i don't think you really can avoid it, part of getting honey is being near the honey bees. that said, i agree with micronesia. I think it's kind of like telling a joke; you don't want to tell a joke at a funeral so you pass on it. Opportunities aren't always apparent thus one must be seeking them and ready to take advantage.

just be your self!

edit @ziggurat sorry i accidentally said the same thing. great minds think alike
hold on! i'm callin' you back to the pool, and we'll dazzle them all!
Torte de Lini
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Germany38463 Posts
June 20 2013 17:46 GMT
#31
You should be using the school setting to meet and befriend women. The girls in high-school don't matter, you just need to practice talking to them to mature enough when you reach college.
https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)
Stratos_speAr
Profile Joined May 2009
United States6959 Posts
June 20 2013 17:58 GMT
#32
On June 21 2013 01:16 Mr.Bimbles wrote:
@stratos_spear

Awesome name btw, but I don't think my age has anything to do with this. I mean I often talk to random guys at the gym, but that just never happens with girls, they're all so shy and I feel as if, I'm interrupting their gym routine and forcing them to talk to me. But when I walk up to and start talking to guys (not friends just acquaintances) we just talk about some random shit and stuff and have a normal conversation.


I merely meant that the only time in life that genders are socially segregated to the point where it is difficult for them to interact is early childhood.

Unfortunately, some of that may be due to the stigma of, "He's talking to me in a gym, so he's hitting on me." As others have said, it may be that the gym isn't the best place to meet women.

However, don't just completely ignore opportunities as they come. If there is an opportunity for you to be nice and strike up a conversation with this gal at the gym, take it. Just don't force it to happen. This is a fine line that people have a really hard time walking. Those that find themselves in awkward situations and turning women off tend to try to force situations to happen, whereas those that constantly get friend-zoned or pegged as the "nice guy" usually fail to take opportunities. Never fail to take an opportunity, but don't force those opportunities to become a reality; let them happen in a natural way.

The last thing on this topic is that this doesn't mean sit back and do nothing. Your actions can be totally natural and not obnoxiously forcing an interaction to take place. Another of my examples; with my current girlfriend, I didn't ever think I'd see her again after I talked to her in the book store. This is how I was able to talk to her again and invite her to swing dance; I just happened to walk by the library (which I very rarely did in college) and I saw that she was working there. I was going to eventually get a book from there that I needed for class, but I decided to make it now (instead of later that night or on another day), because hey, why not? I'll get to talk to her again, and maybe we'll continue to hit it off. It was slightly out of my way and I was taking deliberate actions to make the opportunity flourish, but at the same time, I wasn't wandering in there with absolutely nothing to do and just creeping on her. I simply opened the door for conversation because she was the one that was checking out my book.

Another random thought on that topic, is that with my girlfriend, I didn't go straight for the number or the date. In today's world, women are kind of cautious of "that guy" that's just after them for the romantic/sexual aspect. Get them in a social situation (hanging out with a group of people, dancing, etc.), and then see if you can get a date/number if you're still interested. Waiting for one significant social interaction is hardly enough time to be called a wuss or to open yourself up to getting friend-zoned.

Just do everything in moderation, man. This is literally the best advice you will find anywhere about anything ever.

Man, I feel like I could make a dating advice blog with all of this wisdom comin' outta nowhere.
A sound mind in a sound body, is a short, but full description of a happy state in this World: he that has these two, has little more to wish for; and he that wants either of them, will be little the better for anything else.
Race is Terran
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
United States382 Posts
June 20 2013 18:08 GMT
#33
if you think she is cute, you should tell her she is cute, boom now you guys both got something in common, both you and her agree that her looks are attractive
LaSt)ChAnCe
Profile Blog Joined June 2005
United States2179 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-06-20 18:16:34
June 20 2013 18:15 GMT
#34
disclaimer:
do not try to pick up chicks at the gym



with that said, i accidentally had luck with a pretty hot chick at my gym because i was checking out her ass while she was doing squats.. noticed her form was pretty good. i went over and told her that her form was good and asked her to do a form check for me to make sure i hit below parallel.

she chatted me up for a while and since then occasionally stops by and jokes around.

but seriously don't try to pick up chicks at the gym
kollin
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United Kingdom8380 Posts
June 20 2013 18:16 GMT
#35
On June 21 2013 03:15 LaSt)ChAnCe wrote:
disclaimer:
do not try to pick up chicks at the gym



with that said, i accidentally had luck with a pretty hot chick at my gym because i was checking out her ass while she was doing squats.. noticed her form was pretty good. i went over and told her that her form was good and asked her to do a form check for me to make sure i hit below parallel.

she chatted me up for a while and since then occasionally stops by and jokes around.

but seriously don't try to pick up chicks at the gym

Lift weights not chicks
Clazziquai10
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
Singapore1949 Posts
June 20 2013 18:19 GMT
#36
On June 21 2013 03:08 Race is Terran wrote:
if you think she is cute, you should tell her she is cute, boom now you guys both got something in common, both you and her agree that her looks are attractive


LOL I actually second this, if you objectively think you're cute, or you've had friends telling you that you look good, and you thus feel that there is a good chance of the girl finding you cute, go for it man
hp.Shell
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2527 Posts
June 20 2013 18:35 GMT
#37
Golden Mouthpiece (say anything, don't give a shit about what you're saying, keep the vibe good)
Avoid Interrogations. (don't be an interviewer)
Please PM me with any songs you like that you think I haven't heard before!
a176
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada6688 Posts
June 20 2013 21:29 GMT
#38
started talking about gym
-> keep talking about gym, fitness, etc
starleague forever
ZERG_RUSSIAN
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
10417 Posts
June 20 2013 22:58 GMT
#39
Don't pick up girls at the gym

They're not there to be picked up and if they are then... well, I have reservations about that personally, but if you don't more power to you.

Also, the trick to conversations is actually being an interesting person. The more interesting things you do, the less pressured you feel about directing a conversation because A) you'll be able to say something interesting about almost anything that comes up (Oh cool! I taught English in that country for a few years! or Right on, I'm the guitarist in a band that plays there sometimes!) and B) you'll know what to ask about when you do want to direct a conversation.

Conversation alone isn't enough to pick up a girl, though, because essentially you're convincing HER that SHE wants to hang out with you. That's something that only she can decide, no matter what you do. There's no formula or special tactic that always works. It's just a matter of circumstances.
I'm on GOLD CHAIN
AxUU
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
Finland162 Posts
June 20 2013 23:28 GMT
#40
Mainly be yourself, don't think about the situation and just let the convo flow. I usually strike spontaneous discussions up from occurences in the surroundings, such as if I'm waiting for a bus and I see a girl I don't go all "Gah.. This bus is always late" because that would be too obvious, but I take something else from the surroundings, say "They've been repairing that building/road/[insert repairable object] for ages, do you live around here?" or something like that. Just throw your first line and keep chatting for a while and eventually you'll notice if she's interested or just wants to get away.

Also, if you get her number or something go on a date... Be sure you know her name before you do, I learned that the hard way.
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
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