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Preface:
- 20 years old
- going into my junior year of college studying software engineering
- living at home / commuting to college (30min away)
Let's get to the point:
So right now I'm on summer break, classes start up again in September. My younger brother who just graduated from high school is moving out to go to his university since it's too far away to commute. During this, my parents have been taking light-hearted (maybe?) jabs at me saying "Look at him, he's moving out before you! Are you going to be here forever?  "
While I'm sure they're just joking, there has to be some truth behind it. I tried getting a place with 2 of my friends but 1 of them backed out and the other couldn't squeeze the money with just the 2 of us living there. I absolutely don't want to live at college in a dorm, that kind of life is hell to me. I'm pretty sure if I find a place to live out on my own, my parents will pay the rent. I just don't know if I should leave home yet.
What do you guys think? I feel like I can live on my own after I learn to cook a little bit more, that's all I'm really dependent on right now besides rent. So yeah...thoughts?
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Why do you want to move out?
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On June 18 2013 06:35 babylon wrote:
Why do you want to move out?
Just for some more independence and to get out of my parents' hair. I feel like I don't annoy them that much but if I were them I would certainly want to be alone with each other like before they had kids.
edit: plus it's going to be weird not having my brother around anymore since he's moving out to college
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It saddens me to hear you don't want to experience dorm life.
I dont know what prejudices you could hold against it to make you say something like "I absolutely don't want to live at college in a dorm, that kind of life is hell to me"
dorm life can be what ever you want it to be; from the focus group levels surrounded by class mates that can't be loud after 10pm, to the constant shit show evenings that provide overwhelming distraction, sex, and fun, that I had the oportunity to experience in first year. It really grew me as a person and I graduated with my degree in systems and computer engineering.
I don't mean to judge you too hard im just wondering what you think "that kind of life" is and why you would describe that as hell.
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On June 18 2013 06:44 ComaDose wrote:
It saddens me to hear you don't want to experience dorm life.
I dont know what prejudices you could hold against it to make you say something like "I absolutely don't want to live at college in a dorm, that kind of life is hell to me"
dorm life can be what ever you want it to be; from the focus group levels surrounded by class mates that can't be loud after 10pm, to the constant shit show evenings that provide overwhelming distraction, sex, and fun, that I had the oportunity to experience in first year. It really grew me as a person and I graduated with my degree in systems and computer engineering.
I don't mean to judge you too hard im just wondering what you think "that kind of life" is and why you would describe that as hell.
The school I go to has a lot of commuters. It's a relatively small school. I live a super healthy lifestyle where I have to always eat homemade food that usually consists of rice, potatoes and chicken, fish, etc that I weigh on a food scale. The university I go to does not exactly have the healthiest of all food choices in their somewhat mediocre dining hall.
Besides that, the dorms in my school are extremely small, and many are not even air conditioned. There are very few perks to living at the university that I go to, most people that want to live away from home rent a place around the university rather than living there. It's also pretty dead there on the weekends because everyone is doing things off campus rather than having fun there.
Also, for the amount of money i would be paying to live on campus, I can find a much better house to rent for the same price, including most utilities.
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Your parents will pay the rent? Pay? I'd suggest for you to move out. The biggest deterrent would be if it's too hard financially while you're still attending school but if your parents are willing to help with/cover rent, you should def go.
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On June 18 2013 06:48 shizaep wrote:
Your parents will pay the rent? Pay? I'd suggest for you to move out. The biggest deterrent would be if it's too hard financially while you're still attending school but if your parents are willing to help with/cover rent, you should def go.
Yep they'd cover it until I finish college.
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well you answered why you didn't want to live in that specific dorm (which were very good reasons) but it sounded like you hated the "dorm lifestyle"
Also i think if you cant cook for yourself, pay your own rent, and you see no advantage to living in the town where you go to school, then you should not move out by yourself to the town where you go to school. plus living by yourself can suck, id say try to live with friends, especially for your first place, and take advantage of your parents willing to help you.
I lived with my parents every summer till i was 23 lol. i was a poor student.
So you weigh your meals on food scales then give em to your mum to cook up? >.< good deal. i wish i lived a healthy life style so i "have" to eat homecooked meals all the time.
EDIT: oh i see you do like the offcampus area i misread. yeah thats sounds better than dorm. with friends is better too.
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On June 18 2013 06:58 ComaDose wrote:
well you answered why you didn't want to live in that specific dorm (which were very good reasons) but it sounded like you hated the "dorm lifestyle"
Also i think if you cant cook for yourself, pay your own rent, and you see no advantage to living in the town where you go to school, then you should not move out by yourself to the town where you go to school. plus living by yourself can suck, id say try to live with friends, especially for your first place, and take advantage of your parents willing to help you.
I lived with my parents every summer till i was 23 lol. i was a poor student.
So you weigh your meals on food scales then give em to your mum to cook up? >.< good deal. i wish i lived a healthy life style so i "have" to eat homecooked meals all the time.
EDIT: oh i see you do like the offcampus area i misread. yeah thats sounds better than dorm. with friends is better too.
I can cook most things but I should probably learn some more advanced meals. That being said, living at home is nice as well lol. I'll probably stay home at least another semester so I can figure everything out and see what I want to do. If I can get my friends to want to move in, then I'd definitely do that, but that fell through once before sadly.
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Yes it is time to go.
Look, your school is 30 mins from your home, you aren't moving so far away. Its time to test your responsibility see if you can keep yourself on track as a grown ass man. If you're having problems, I am sure your parents would either a) let you move back or better yet, b) be there for you if you need to visit.
I understand you have a family you care for and who care for you, but its time to stop being a child and grow up. you are your own man, only responsible for yourself. Stop burdening your parents more than you need to, and go see what life can/ should be like. This sounds pretty rough, but seriously, you are 20. When my children are 20, of course they will still be able to live with me, but at that age, they should try, just try, to see what life is like on their own, let them go out with the full knowledge I will be around to provide support when needed, but that they should experience life under their own guidance, not tied to their mother's apron strings.
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Seems like it's a good time for you to move out, what with summer break and all. You might take a little while adjusting to having to do all the household chores by yourself, and it's good to do that during a time where you don't have to worry about anything else. Besides, having your own place during a holiday has all kinds of perks. :p
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Can you be REALLY independent? I mean cook for yourself, pay your rent, and take care of house stuff? If you answered no to any of this, then do not move out. It seems like you just like the idea of independence without understanding the responsibility. Think about it some more.
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Don't listen to the people telling you to think about it. Make a list of the things you need to be taking care of when you're on your own and get out there. You aren't going to learn how to live on your own by reading these responses.
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On June 18 2013 06:36 Fingerboom wrote:Just for some more independence and to get out of my parents' hair. I feel like I don't annoy them that much but if I were them I would certainly want to be alone with each other like before they had kids. edit: plus it's going to be weird not having my brother around anymore since he's moving out to college
I suppose if your parents think paying the rent is less annoying than having you around the house all the time, go ahead ... I personally wouldn't unless I could contribute to at least half of each month's rent, but it depends on your parents' means.
Have you spoken about this to them at all?
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I'm 23 with full time job and I still live at home.. I have 2 brothers and a younger sis who also live there (all younger).
I do it because I'm saving money to buy a property, and they're happy to support it.
I think this is a bit more common in Australia than the u.s tho
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On June 18 2013 13:48 babylon wrote:Show nested quote +On June 18 2013 06:36 Fingerboom wrote:On June 18 2013 06:35 babylon wrote:
Why do you want to move out? Just for some more independence and to get out of my parents' hair. I feel like I don't annoy them that much but if I were them I would certainly want to be alone with each other like before they had kids. edit: plus it's going to be weird not having my brother around anymore since he's moving out to college I suppose if your parents think paying the rent is less annoying than having you around the house all the time, go ahead ... I personally wouldn't unless I could contribute to at least half of each month's rent, but it depends on your parents' means. Have you spoken about this to them at all?
My mom gets all paranoid and says living alone off campus is "dangerous." The reason they would pay the rent is because they want me to focus on my studies while I'm at school and not have to worry about paying bills/rent.
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EPT
