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On May 28 2013 03:18 shirtman wrote:You probably won't like this... (no advice) + Show Spoiler +I don't think that you are 100% honest in your post. I have lots of sympathy for you if you really just wanted to take breaks because you were stressed for all the right reasons. But no matter what words you used (I'm interested), this couldn't be the right thing to do, which you now realize. Was there really no other girl? You can't possibly messed up that badly just because of stress?!
How long did you think about these kind of decisions? Didn't you ask somebody for a second opinion?
Also I don't like you claiming that you know her feelings when you didn't (don't?) know yourself.
I agree, you're making a lot of convenient leaps and I'm sure these inconsistencies certainly played a role in why she doesn't want to be with you anymore.
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On May 28 2013 01:49 Jerubaal wrote:Show nested quote +On May 28 2013 01:32 Kuni wrote:
Tell her what's up, without any bullshit and if she's positive towards you, take her back. If she's negative towards you, move on, so you don't have to waste the next 8 years of your life.
And those other guys, maybe they are just better friends with her, than with you. Just because you get fucked by advice doesn't mean they are evil people. Maybe their advice is really really good? Maybe in their eyes, you really are a weak choice for her, for whatever reason? Most people in this generation will tell you to cut and run at the first sign of trouble.
Straight up. Because we all know the solution to relationship problems is to either take a break and forget about it rather than resolving it, or to end it altogether.
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I can understand a little. Stress from life can hit really hard especially when it is family related and come in a short notice.
I know several people who broke up due to similar situation.
The only thing you should do is to get yourself back on your feet and see if you can go back to the one that made her fall in love before something happens.
The length of relationship really don't mean too much to be honest, it is all about whether you have made good use of those time
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I don't understand how being stressed no matter how much would be a good enough reason to take a "break" after 8 years of being together. There has to be more to this story.
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Honestly, get a new group of friends and show her this blog.
Seriously though, if you're going to take this much time to articulate how you feel, just show her the damn thing
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On May 28 2013 12:48 teamsolid wrote:
I don't understand how being stressed no matter how much would be a good enough reason to take a "break" after 8 years of being together. There has to be more to this story.
This.
No one is going to be able to help you if you don't tell us the whole story.
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On May 28 2013 12:48 teamsolid wrote:
I don't understand how being stressed no matter how much would be a good enough reason to take a "break" after 8 years of being together. There has to be more to this story.
I reacted strongly to this too. If you're stressed, your partner since 8 years should be the primary cure to getting through that stress, not someone you wanna take a break from.
The other thing I reacted too was the part where your friends supposedly adviced her to leave you for their own purposes (trying to make a move on her). Now, Im not saying stuff like that doesnt happen, but 9 times out of 10 when someone says that its because they have a skewed view on things. Real friends dont do that. There is no way a normal person who considers himself a good friend of a together-since-8-year-couple would advice one of them to break up from the other to take advantage of it himself. That has to be a very special (in a bad way) person in that case, and certainly not someone you should consider a friend. But anyway, thats the 1 out of 10 case. Much more likely, however, is that either A) They truly adviced her to leave you, but for good reasons. What those reasons are we cannot know, but you should think about what they could be. Or B) They never adviced her to leave you at all and you're just making that up to have someone/something to blame for her sudden will to not be together with you anymore.
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if my friend came to me and said her boyfriend was spitting out some mopey bullshit about how he was stressed and upset and needed a break to think about what he wanted (for the 2nd time in 8 years no less) id tell her you're a selfish idiot (as I am sure her friends did) and she deserves better.
people in good relationships draw off of each other in times of personal stress.
selfish assholes do what you did: bail, and then have the audacity to get pissy when the person comes to their senses and realizes how ridiculous it is to sit there and wait while you jerk them around. because it's really reassuring for the future when your fiance says 'hey i need a break' before you've even got a ring. what happens when you've got two kids and your stressed?
also, you sound incredibly immature about relationships overall, which i guess isnt surprising since you have had one girl for 8 years since high school. you sound really insecure and not trusting of your ex. i am not sure why eithe of you would allow yourself to be put in a position where someoen else is competitng for you, enabling it by talking to them. it sounds like some kinda security jealousy thing.
you also dont seem to trust that she's incapable of thinking on her own. you give absolutely not a second of thought that she might have realized on her own that you're a dick for bailing to reevaluate your feelings and expecting her to stay. you know shes lying, you can read her like a book, all these other people are influencing her, she gets erratic (but never broke it off because she's pissed)—do you not realize how 1950s bitches be crazy condescending this sounds???
leave the girl alone, and learn from your mistakes. you fucked up
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EPT
