• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 21:44
CEST 03:44
KST 10:44
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
[ASL19] Finals Recap: Standing Tall9HomeStory Cup 27 - Info & Preview18Classic wins Code S Season 2 (2025)16Code S RO4 & Finals Preview: herO, Rogue, Classic, GuMiho0TL Team Map Contest #5: Presented by Monster Energy6
Community News
Flash Announces Hiatus From ASL50Weekly Cups (June 23-29): Reynor in world title form?12FEL Cracov 2025 (July 27) - $8000 live event16Esports World Cup 2025 - Final Player Roster16Weekly Cups (June 16-22): Clem strikes back1
StarCraft 2
General
The GOAT ranking of GOAT rankings The SCII GOAT: A statistical Evaluation Statistics for vetoed/disliked maps Esports World Cup 2025 - Final Player Roster How does the number of casters affect your enjoyment of esports?
Tourneys
RSL: Revival, a new crowdfunded tournament series [GSL 2025] Code S: Season 2 - Semi Finals & Finals $5,100+ SEL Season 2 Championship (SC: Evo) FEL Cracov 2025 (July 27) - $8000 live event HomeStory Cup 27 (June 27-29)
Strategy
How did i lose this ZvP, whats the proper response Simple Questions Simple Answers
Custom Maps
[UMS] Zillion Zerglings
External Content
Mutation # 480 Moths to the Flame Mutation # 479 Worn Out Welcome Mutation # 478 Instant Karma Mutation # 477 Slow and Steady
Brood War
General
Help: rep cant save Flash Announces Hiatus From ASL BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ [ASL19] Finals Recap: Standing Tall Player “Jedi” cheat on CSL
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues Small VOD Thread 2.0 [BSL20] GosuLeague RO16 - Tue & Wed 20:00+CET The Casual Games of the Week Thread
Strategy
Simple Questions, Simple Answers I am doing this better than progamers do.
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread Path of Exile What do you want from future RTS games? Beyond All Reason
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Trading/Investing Thread The Games Industry And ATVI
Fan Clubs
SKT1 Classic Fan Club! Maru Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Anime Discussion Thread [Manga] One Piece [\m/] Heavy Metal Thread
Sports
2024 - 2025 Football Thread NBA General Discussion Formula 1 Discussion TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 NHL Playoffs 2024
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
Blogs
Culture Clash in Video Games…
TrAiDoS
from making sc maps to makin…
Husyelt
Blog #2
tankgirl
StarCraft improvement
iopq
Trip to the Zoo
micronesia
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 611 users

How do you make friends?

Blogs > Clazziquai10
Post a Reply
1 2 3 Next All
Clazziquai10
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
Singapore1949 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-20 15:23:49
May 20 2013 15:23 GMT
#1
And I actually don't mean those hi-bye friends that you see once in a while. What I mean are those good and close friends who you can hang out with everyday.

I'm frustrated. I simply don't get it. I don't know if it is just me, or if it is just because of where I'm from, but everyone I meet seem to already have their own fair share of close friends, or cliques, to hang out with (I'm now in university btw). Nobody wants to hang out with someone they've just met for a couple of minutes just a while ago, and I seriously mean nobody.

It also seems to me (at least) that people nowadays are really materialistic and only really want to be around people who are talented/funny/smart/good-looking in some way.

So, dear readers of this blog post, can someone kindly enlighten me on how the FUCK do I make some good friends, or at least, share some of your experience on how did you get to know some of your best friends.

P.S. Please don't tell me to do stuff like sit next to that hot girl in lecture and compliment her on how nice her hair looks, because that is downright creepy and has just about as much chance of working as a 2-rax against protoss (unless you are a hot guy, of course, which I'm unfortunately not).


Many thanks in advance, and sorry for the angry tone of this blog. Really sad and frustrated right now.

***
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24666 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-20 15:30:48
May 20 2013 15:30 GMT
#2
I think it's mostly attitude. If people enjoy your company you are more likely to make friends.

On May 21 2013 00:23 Clazziquai10 wrote:
can someone kindly enlighten me on how the FUCK do I make some good friends

This is not the ideal attitude, for example.

On May 21 2013 00:23 Clazziquai10 wrote:
Please don't tell me to do stuff like sit next to that hot girl in lecture and compliment her on how nice her hair looks

Um, why did you think someone would tell you this??
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
Feartheguru
Profile Joined August 2011
Canada1334 Posts
May 20 2013 15:32 GMT
#3
On May 21 2013 00:23 Clazziquai10 wrote:


It also seems to me (at least) that people nowadays are really materialistic and only really want to be around people who are talented/funny/smart/good-looking in some way.



Well interpersonal relationships have their basis on mutual benefit. If you are somehow none of these things, I don't see why anyone would want to be more than hi, bye friends with you either. Chances are you have some traits that people would like, pick up some hobbies, play with random people at recreational clubs at uni and you'll hopefully find some friends that way.
Don't sweat the petty stuff, don't pet the sweaty stuff.
Harrad
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
1003 Posts
May 20 2013 15:33 GMT
#4
Inb4 tons of people saying the usual standard "go to new places, meet new ppl" etc: Some people just fall through the cracks of society. Some people get lucky, other don't. Nobody can give you a guide on how to become a popular person with many friends. In this society, you're either a winner or a loser, theres not many shades of grey in between.
Feartheguru
Profile Joined August 2011
Canada1334 Posts
May 20 2013 15:37 GMT
#5
On May 21 2013 00:33 Harrad wrote:
Inb4 tons of people saying the usual standard "go to new places, meet new ppl" etc: Some people just fall through the cracks of society. Some people get lucky, other don't. Nobody can give you a guide on how to become a popular person with many friends. In this society, you're either a winner or a loser, theres not many shades of grey in between.


Well, that's standard advise because that's what works, telling someone they're screwed by luck is way less helpful. (Probably counterproductive, there's very little luck involved)
Don't sweat the petty stuff, don't pet the sweaty stuff.
virpi
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Germany3598 Posts
May 20 2013 15:38 GMT
#6
I make friends by annoying people. Those who don't run away are most likely to become friends.
first we make expand, then we defense it.
Souma
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
2nd Worst City in CA8938 Posts
May 20 2013 15:45 GMT
#7
I make good friends by being a good friend. *shrug*
Writer
LosingID8
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
CA10827 Posts
May 20 2013 15:48 GMT
#8
On May 21 2013 00:23 Clazziquai10 wrote:
It also seems to me (at least) that people nowadays are really materialistic and only really want to be around people who are talented/funny/smart/good-looking in some way.

first of all, none of those are examples of materialism. secondly, would you rather hang out with someone who is talented or not? funny or boring? smart or dumb? good-looking or ugly?

and btw, looks are really not that high up on the list of traits that people look for in a friend. as long as you don't look like a slob it won't hinder you.
ModeratorResident K-POP Elitist
Torte de Lini
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Germany38463 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-20 16:02:29
May 20 2013 15:48 GMT
#9
[image loading]


I listened to this and Zig Ziglar in car rides for 7 years straight. I had to recite optimism papers in front of the mirror twice a day and do it with an ecstatic and enthused voice.

I had to walk with my arms cocked to my pecs and moving them swiftly back and forth in public with a smile to let others know I was going somewhere important and I was important.

Attitude is important and so is being optimistic with others and with yourself.


All I learned from the above were these three rules:

1. Always take interest in what other people have to say
2. A person's name is their favourite thing to say.
3. Take initiative.

Stop being a stubborn person and put yourself out there.
https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)
VerticalHorizon
Profile Joined September 2004
United States415 Posts
May 20 2013 15:50 GMT
#10
There's a passage which I think is from C.S. Lewis' "Four Loves" (not 100% sure) which says that if romantic love is two people gazing into each other's eyes, then friendship is two people facing the same direction side-by-side.

Approaching making friends with a mentality of "what do I need to do to gain/hold this other person's attention?" is flawed and makes the whole thing a lot more difficult than it has to be. It causes your interactions to be strained from the get-go. Instead

The simplest and quickest way to create fast bonds and a sense of familiarity with someone/people is by shared activities/interests. And really, focus on that activity (or in Lewis' words, that vision/direction) first. It should be something you truly enjoy. An easy example might be heading out to join your university's gaming club or CSL (if they have one). You can hit up a meeting, play some SC2 matches with people, and then trading BNet info/FB info/messenger info comes very naturally. Progress from there.

The key is finding activities you genuinely enjoy and are passionate about. People will trust you more when they realize that you are not some creeper trying to find "friends" - instead, you are a dedicated fan/athlete/gamer/artist/whatever who is open to meeting people with similar interests. Your passion and, hopefully, your skill/dedication will make you very attractive in that context.

Hope this helps. I can't say I've been in your shoes, but I have a few friends who have and I've thought critically about it a lot.
Call it the greatest sin to prefer existence over honor and, for the sake of life, to lose the reasons for living. - Juvenal, Satires
Linwelin
Profile Joined March 2011
Ireland7554 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-20 15:51:55
May 20 2013 15:50 GMT
#11
Sitting next to that hot girl in class and telling her that she looks nice can work but anyway!

You say you are in university. This is usually a place where you can easily make friends. Does your university have sport clubs? Cinema? Board games? Get involved in activities like that and you will meet new people.
After a while, you will recognize the people you would like to hang out with. Propose them to go out for drinks/pick up girls(or guys)/play football/play video games/watch paint dry. Do that a few times --> congratulations you have new friends

Your university doesn't have any activities like that? (which I doubt but let's assume it doesn't). Start talking with some classmates you find cool (complain about that very annoying professor / that very difficult coursework/exam for example) and slowly talk to them more and more about their interests (Do they like sports? Video games? Sleeping?). Propose them to go do some activity they enjoy doing. Do that a few times --> congratulations you have new friends

Edit:
On May 21 2013 00:33 Harrad wrote:
Inb4 tons of people saying the usual standard "go to new places, meet new ppl" etc: Some people just fall through the cracks of society. Some people get lucky, other don't. Nobody can give you a guide on how to become a popular person with many friends. In this society, you're either a winner or a loser, theres not many shades of grey in between.


That's wrong
Fuck Razor and Death Prophet
Torte de Lini
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Germany38463 Posts
May 20 2013 15:55 GMT
#12
On May 21 2013 00:23 Clazziquai10 wrote:
And I actually don't mean those hi-bye friends that you see once in a while. What I mean are those good and close friends who you can hang out with everyday.

I'm frustrated. I simply don't get it. I don't know if it is just me, or if it is just because of where I'm from, but everyone I meet seem to already have their own fair share of close friends, or cliques, to hang out with (I'm now in university btw). Nobody wants to hang out with someone they've just met for a couple of minutes just a while ago, and I seriously mean nobody.

It also seems to me (at least) that people nowadays are really materialistic and only really want to be around people who are talented/funny/smart/good-looking in some way.

So, dear readers of this blog post, can someone kindly enlighten me on how the FUCK do I make some good friends, or at least, share some of your experience on how did you get to know some of your best friends.

P.S. Please don't tell me to do stuff like sit next to that hot girl in lecture and compliment her on how nice her hair looks, because that is downright creepy and has just about as much chance of working as a 2-rax against protoss (unless you are a hot guy, of course, which I'm unfortunately not).


Many thanks in advance, and sorry for the angry tone of this blog. Really sad and frustrated right now.


You have no friends because your attitude is wrong. You're stubborn, secluded and completely narrow-minded. If you're entering the public sphere with misconceptions, assumptions without investigation and dismissal, you're going to be alone for very long.

During high-school I dismissed everyone as being primitive in thought and obsessed with the superficiality of things, that's why I got through all of it with some friends and the acceptance that somehow, and stupidly, everyone was below me. I was completely delusional in protecting myself from people who were genuine, nice and just being young.

Everyone has their own cliques of friends because that's how it works. I made my real group of English-speaking friends by taking initiative. I got off the couch, I stopped eating hot pockets (all real things I did in college for 2 years straight), I loosened up and started my own StarCraft 2 club at Concordia:

Concordia Starcraft Community? [Montreal, Quebec]

I just spent the last hour looking at the different clubs and groups here at Concordia University, it's my first semester and I honestly expected a video-gaming club or something [I mean... there's a freakin' dodgeball club in this university!]. My sister was the president or something for ECA a year or so back and they had a few video-gaming parties and I think one LAN night within the school that consisted of Brood War and Quake.

This was awhile back, so I'm a bit fuzzy on the details since I wasn't attending university at the time and honestly just tagged along.

Now that I am in university, I look around and I see nothing remotely close to video-gaming or specifically: Starcraft here at Concordia, is there any reason?

I was told that McGill was the place for Starcraft players/university students, I hope not however since they didn't accept me (Manchester in England did however...)

Anyways... uh... the point of this topic is: 1. to see if I'm not alone here in Montreal and 2. to hope that there is a group of students who host LAN Parties at Concordia or something.

Not sure. It's late, etc. etc.

Cheers,
Torte de Lini


This is real and that happened literally 3 years ago. I literally made all my real-life friends through Team Liquid's community hub. I ended up starting the club, taking in members and stood in as treasurer, co-founder, political constitutional writer and more. I did a bunch of events for the club and eventually raked in 120 local members.

The club's been inactive for a bit and I am graduating with at least 30 to 50 people I can call friends, each varying in degree of closeness.

Take initiative. University does everything in its power to allow you to meet people. you just have to get out there
https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)
Torte de Lini
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Germany38463 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-20 15:58:43
May 20 2013 15:58 GMT
#13
Here's where I made some more friends:

LANs
Electronic bar lounge where people played Street Fighter/Arcade
Events I was hosting and met some really cool developers
Other university clubs and club fairs

No one is going to talk to you, you need to talk to them, you need to organize things with them at their convenience and you need to reach out.

You can do it and soon after, it'll just be a thing of the past, just break your shell and reach out! It's really easy once you get the hang of it and people will soon accept you for who you are.
https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
May 20 2013 15:58 GMT
#14
Go do something. Rock climb. Swim. Play paintball. Nothing binds friends together like shared pain or euphoria upon climbing that sheer rock face or finishing that four hundred meter set or double-tapping that arrogant dick from Blue Team in the 'nads.

Or, if you're not an ADD-afflicted squirrel, try doing more sedate activities - use meetup.com, find writers, musicians, artists, meet people and get mixed up in things they love and things you love.

Or even chill with your work buddies.
Что?
Hyde
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
Australia14568 Posts
May 20 2013 15:59 GMT
#15
Seems like there's already a few good posts in this thread that nail it. I have a genuine question though, would you want to hang out with you? If so why? I don't mean anything by it, I'd just like to know.
Because when you left, Brood War was all spotlights and titans. Now, with the death of the big leagues, Brood War has moved to the basements and carparks. Now, Brood War is unlicensed brawls, lost teeth, and bloody fights for fistfulls of money - SirJolt
Torte de Lini
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Germany38463 Posts
May 20 2013 16:04 GMT
#16
On May 21 2013 00:33 Harrad wrote:
Inb4 tons of people saying the usual standard "go to new places, meet new ppl" etc: Some people just fall through the cracks of society. Some people get lucky, other don't. Nobody can give you a guide on how to become a popular person with many friends. In this society, you're either a winner or a loser, theres not many shades of grey in between.


No, there are no cracks of social gathering and interaction, just people unwilling to make a decision if they prefer to be with themselves or others.

If you have a general desire to meet people and have friends, then he's not in the crack, he's jut preparing his leap. There is a guide to making friends and influencing people, it's been around for many decades by Dale Carnegie.

Inform yourself before you spout bullshit.

There are no losers, just winners and people who want to win.
https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)
Disregard
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
China10252 Posts
May 20 2013 16:06 GMT
#17
I start a valid argument, it begins from there. Actually you don't do it for the sake of making friends, it just naturally ends up that way. I don't think it works if you start with the purpose of aggressively trying to befriend this person, it has to be a... subconscious process(Is this a valid term to use)? If you will. Unless this person you meet has similar traits and hobbies that is pretty self-explanatory.

And go to new places, right?
"If I had to take a drug in order to be free, I'm screwed. Freedom exists in the mind, otherwise it doesn't exist."
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
May 20 2013 16:06 GMT
#18
Use this website:

http://www.meetup.com/

Loads of social activities by interest and location
Что?
HwangjaeTerran
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Finland5967 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-20 16:11:38
May 20 2013 16:08 GMT
#19
Having had a few bad experiences with friends I try to steer clear from them most of the time. Nowadays I have like 2 friends, one I see 1-2 times a year, the other maybe 5. After I'm done with my studies I'm moving out of the country and that'll probably drop to zero.

The problem (one of them at least) with friends is, you never know if they like you or their image of you. So usually you have to keep playing some kind of part for them. Like your job is to stroke someone's cock for them.
https://steamcommunity.com/id/*tlusernamehere*/
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
May 20 2013 16:11 GMT
#20
On May 21 2013 01:08 HwangjaeTerran wrote:
Having had a few bad experiences with friends I try to steer clear from them most of the time. Nowadays I have like 2 friends, one I see 1-2 times a year, the other maybe 5. After I'm done with my studies I'm moving out of the country and that'll probably drop to zero.

The problem (one of them at least) with friends is, you never know if they like you or their image of you. So usually you have to keep playing somekind of part for them. Like your job is to stroke someone's cock for them.

Ehhh... had this sort of feeling in college, but once work starts and the bullshit drops you find out fast who your real friends are
Что?
1 2 3 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Replay Cast
00:00
HSC 27: Groups C
CranKy Ducklings119
Liquipedia
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
Nina 248
NeuroSwarm 151
CosmosSc2 78
StarCraft: Brood War
Aegong 73
NaDa 27
Icarus 8
League of Legends
JimRising 822
Counter-Strike
taco 1159
Super Smash Bros
hungrybox621
Other Games
summit1g9127
shahzam1404
Day[9].tv908
Artosis595
ViBE251
Mew2King88
Organizations
Other Games
BasetradeTV139
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 15 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• Azhi_Dahaki5
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Doublelift5537
• Jankos1593
• masondota2744
Other Games
• Day9tv908
Upcoming Events
RSL Revival
8h 16m
herO vs SHIN
Reynor vs Cure
OSC
11h 16m
WardiTV European League
14h 16m
Scarlett vs Percival
Jumy vs ArT
YoungYakov vs Shameless
uThermal vs Fjant
Nicoract vs goblin
Harstem vs Gerald
FEL
14h 16m
Korean StarCraft League
1d 1h
CranKy Ducklings
1d 8h
RSL Revival
1d 8h
FEL
1d 14h
RSL Revival
2 days
FEL
2 days
[ Show More ]
BSL: ProLeague
2 days
Dewalt vs Bonyth
Replay Cast
3 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
4 days
The PondCast
5 days
Replay Cast
5 days
RSL Revival
6 days
Replay Cast
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2025-06-28
HSC XXVII
Heroes 10 EU

Ongoing

JPL Season 2
BSL 2v2 Season 3
BSL Season 20
Acropolis #3
KCM Race Survival 2025 Season 2
CSL 17: 2025 SUMMER
Copa Latinoamericana 4
Championship of Russia 2025
RSL Revival: Season 1
Murky Cup #2
BLAST.tv Austin Major 2025
ESL Impact League Season 7
IEM Dallas 2025
PGL Astana 2025
Asian Champions League '25
BLAST Rivals Spring 2025
MESA Nomadic Masters
CCT Season 2 Global Finals
IEM Melbourne 2025

Upcoming

2025 ACS Season 2: Qualifier
CSLPRO Last Chance 2025
2025 ACS Season 2
CSLPRO Chat StarLAN 3
K-Championship
uThermal 2v2 Main Event
SEL Season 2 Championship
FEL Cracov 2025
Esports World Cup 2025
StarSeries Fall 2025
FISSURE Playground #2
BLAST Open Fall 2025
BLAST Open Fall Qual
Esports World Cup 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall Qual
IEM Cologne 2025
FISSURE Playground #1
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.