Sweet Freedom - Page 2

On May 17 2013 18:35 Visage814 wrote:
<3

Not sure if it's what you were going for, but this was a very moving read.
Definitely made me think.

On May 17 2013 23:02 BigFan wrote:
Such an amazing writeup and really insightful. I read it from start to finish trying to take everything in. It's really well done and I'm surprised that you don't plan on writing more or becoming a writer for that matter. Honestly, what I learned in life is the following:
- Be yourself because why else would you want to be someone else?
- Stop taking on other people's expectations and changing yourself as a result(screw societies' expectations)
- Take on a career that you will enjoy and be proud of it
- Do what you want and never have regrets(don't hurt people in the process of course)
- Friends come and go, sad as it may be but there are some that will stay by your side as well
- Family is always around and can help make you out greatly(depending on their views as well)

If you can follow these, then you will have no regrets, live life to the fullest and never have to walk down that dark road by yourself. You will never have to worry about medications to help you cope and you will enjoy doing everything you wanted and more. Your middle school friend's comment were also pretty good to follow. I think thinking and overthinking things will only make things worse as well because you get down to the nitty gritty details, the what if and what about etc... and there is a chance those will never happen anyways. As for "usually my parents threatening to charge rent over the summer if I don't get a job", I think your parents are just trying to push you to work so that you use your time wisely and while it's true that you shouldn't live for money, you still need it to a degree to live. I wish you the best of luck with your journey!

On May 18 2013 00:19 Race is Terran wrote:
god damn. you made my tablet crash because your post was so long.

Have you considered smoking weed? It's a far healthier alternative to SSRI's and prescription pills to give a healthier aspect to life.

Anyways, you are gay, but why do you have a problem telling like your friends that you are gay? If they are your friends, then that shouldn't be a reason not to tell them. Good friends who you can tell anything to can make you a better person while bad friends whom you feel the need to suppress things from them will only make you feel shitty about yourself.

On May 18 2013 14:51 Qwyn wrote:
You need to find a hobby. A creative hobby. Writing? Writing works. And you need to sit your ass in the chair and do it. I always thought that I wanted to be a writer - and by god did I make myself write. 2000 - 3000 words a day back in highschool, sometimes deep into the night.

I always "knew I wanted to write." The thing is, people are creatures of habit. No matter the dream you might have, if you don't force yourself to do it and establish a routine, you're not going to get anywhere. For the month, it's not going to be about fun. It's going to be about force. And as you get going, that is when the real ideas begin to flow - when you break free from your preconceptions of the craft, of yourself, your ideas and your dreams - everything.

To be able to think, to examine, to venture deep inside yourself is a wonderful and amazing thing. It is a gift I embrace and value above all others. But it is at its strongest when you turn it OUTWARDS. If you continue to sink inside yourself, separate yourself from others and from the real, if you continue to fall, then the depression only gets worse.

The thing is, you have to accept your creation, your vision, your existence for its own sake. Nothing is hinging on it. Yours is a chance to express something that is purely you, to meld the cognitive and express it physically, and to leave a lasting imprint of yourself upon the earth. NOT in the vain hopes that others will see it. But simply because you want to. Because that's a simple, and beautiful pleasure. Knowing you, that's not something you're going to pass up.

So embrace it.

On May 19 2013 00:49 r.Evo wrote:
God, you write incredibly well.

Now stop being a victim and start being a survivor. =)

On May 19 2013 01:59 LazyFailKid wrote:
Can't say I understood why people link themselves to words like "I'm gay". There are a lot of people that call themselves gay, are you exactly like them? What does saying "I'm gay" even mean? Does it mean you've had sex with a guy or are just interested in guys?

On May 19 2013 02:31 packrat386 wrote:
First off this is really excellent writing. If you decide that that's something that you want to pursue further it seems like you could be quite successful.

I hope I'm not prying too much but I was intrigued by a couple of passages in which you mention thinking


Is this because you don't feel comfortable in your relationships as a male? A lot of this isn't explicitly stated so I hope I'm not making faulty assumptions, but it seems like you identify as either homosexual or bisexual as well as a cis-male. However you seem somewhat unhappy with your own sexuality as evinced by your conversation with "L" as well as your semi-internalization of your friends slight and perhaps unwitting homophobia. I was wondering whether your thinking that your your "nuances and personality" fit better with the female gender is coming from frustration with difficulty being homosexual in modern society, or if perhaps you're experiencing gender dysphoria.

Once again, I hope I'm not prying too much, but I struggled with gender/sexuality questions of my own a while back, and I find other peoples stories about it really interesting. I hope I haven't misinterpreted anything, and good luck with your future endeavors

On May 19 2013 14:49 BroodKingEXE wrote:
Beautiful writing. The disorganization is a perfect analogy about the wandering and questioning mind.

On May 19 2013 15:26 Just_a_Moth wrote:
Also, if you want incentive to write go to book stores and look at all the bad books there, then realize that if you worked hard you're definitely creative and skilled enough to write something better than them.

On May 21 2013 01:50 LaLuSh wrote:
I recently finished reading The Fall from Camus and Notes from the Underground by Dostoevsky. Both of those books touch very much on the thematics of your post.

As for advice I don't really have any. People "afflicted" with such an unforgiving disposition are hard to change. To me it seems the ones of them who've led the happiest and most content lives are the ones who've truly managed to master something -- regardless of whether the subject of their mastering brought them any enjoyment. Possessing actual expertise gives them the freedom and ease of mind to seek out the intruiging facets of life without excessive worry and constant contemplation.

There's a real danger in the combination of isolation, a lack of willpower and a lack of perceived meaning in life, when irrespective of all this you still nurture the need for human intimacy, for acknowledgement, for personal achievement. I have yet to decode the secrets to living comfortably with such a disposition, but putting in the effort to get really good at something seems to help keep the darkness at bay.

On May 21 2013 07:01 Darkren wrote:
I think from reading this that you have every tool to get out of your situation, the fact is that you are just scared of using them.

Look at the length of your post you have thought deeply about this subject and now the alternative to every problem u have faced.

It is time you start applying those to your everyday life

Keep smiling ))))))))))