Rhapsody in Blue - Page 2

On May 08 2013 14:36 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
gogogogo. ShadySands the master of euphemisms.

Pics or it didn't happen brah!

On May 08 2013 14:47 Shady Sands wrote:

So I spent the entire night holding the major idiot ball in my hands. Like if normal me is maybe a 5 or 6 on the a 1-10 of idiot vs suave I was playing around 2 the entire evening. Near the end I'm literally just droning on about my private philosophy towards life, the universe, and everything, and some private part of me is screaming 'WHY ARE YOU FUCKING THIS UP LIKE THIS'.

Then we went up to her place and made out and everything was okay. And she offered Friday night too, the midnight screening of the Great Gatsby, and asked me if I could walk her back to her place afterwards.

And the great thing is she was actually talking to me about life philosophies. You know, that deep conversation about value systems that you usually only have with good friends while six beers deep while playing Halo - except this is a dinner date where you're supposed to talk about suave shit to impress each other.

Instead we're talking about things that... you know, cut to the bone and actually matter but you aren't supposed to touch on until three months into the relationship - or maybe not ever.

And she liked it.

Haven't been this pumped over a date in years.

On May 08 2013 15:18 babylon wrote:

See, this is what happens when you aren't posturing all the time. When all you do is start off with all the "suave shit to impress each other," then when you drop the "suave shit" people aren't going to be impressed. Cliche, it might seem, but "be yourself" is the better way to go if you're trying to form a relationship (as opposed to posturing which is perhaps only better if all you're trying to do is put your dick into a vagina, which I guess if that is how you're going to measure your worth in life, go for it?). If you want to form a connection, you need to give a reason for the other person to open up to you. This means that you yourself need to be extremely forthcoming and honest, and show, even for a second, some vulnerability so that they know they can do the same with you, and that helps build meaningful relationships, whether romantic or otherwise.

Anyways, good luck, and try not to fuck it up.

On May 09 2013 02:11 Shady Sands wrote:

Yep. This is kind of funny because for the past few months I tried the slick approach and got more play than I've received in ages, but I felt like shit doing it.

TG and I were literally just joking around the entire night - nothing was off limits... my professional and romantic insecurities, my inner psyche... etc. Only downside was that I feel she's still being pretty reserved about herself but we've only known each other like 2 weeks so it's no big deal.

On May 09 2013 02:50 babylon wrote:

If you're a talkative kind of guy who actually listens to people and responds accordingly, then her reservedness shouldn't be a problem, imo, and as you've said, it's only been two weeks.

There's a very delicate "power balance" at work in most good relationships. I think in general people try to "play" relationships by the rule that "the one who shows the least interest holds the most power" (see: everyone who says, "Show less interest, and she'll come running after you!") I find this incredibly destructive for most relationships (again, romantic or otherwise), but it's conditioned how people interact with each other, and it's not uncommon for people to be afraid of opening up lest they show too much of themselves and get burned for it when the other person doesn't respect that offering of vulnerability or, possibly even worse, doesn't acknowledge it.

In the end, it's really about giving and hoping that the other person treats that gift with care. I often find that, in good relationships, the one who starts off with seemingly more power (define that as you will) is the one who often has to give more of themselves to compensate. It readjusts the power balance to something more or less equal, which is of course healthier for both people.

On May 09 2013 02:57 Shady Sands wrote:

TBH, I don't even care about this 'power balance'. Have found that worrying too much about it only tends to fuck shit up. I just want to settle down and make a life together. Hopefully she has the same zero-BS mentality...

On May 09 2013 02:59 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
This is getting me in the mood to write my update for my GB.

I need some pics shady. Pm gogogogo


Also I'm glad you found someone that you can talk to about serious stuff and not have to pretend to be someone else. Its quite liberating.

On May 09 2013 03:11 Shady Sands wrote:

I'd have to ask her if she'd be fine with her pics ending up on TL. Maybe in a month, once we know each other better?

On May 09 2013 03:52 solidbebe wrote:
Lol, date her for 2 weeks

"Hey are you okay with me sending pictures of you to people on some starcraft2 forum?"

On May 08 2013 14:47 Shady Sands wrote:
Instead we're talking about things that... you know, cut to the bone and actually matter but you aren't supposed to touch on until three months into the relationship - or maybe not ever.

And she liked it.

Haven't been this pumped over a date in years.

On May 09 2013 04:30 sc4k wrote:


I bring that shit up on the first date. That's my 'opener' lol.

On May 09 2013 11:03 ]343[ wrote:
Nice story; good luck :D

(I skipped whatever funny algebraic expressions you wrote though...)

On May 08 2013 15:18 babylon wrote:

See, this is what happens when you aren't posturing all the time. When all you do is start off with all the "suave shit to impress each other," then when you drop the "suave shit" people aren't going to be impressed. Cliche, it might seem, but "be yourself" is the better way to go if you're trying to form a relationship (as opposed to posturing which is perhaps only better if all you're trying to do is put your dick into a vagina, which I guess if that is how you're going to measure your worth in life, go for it?). If you want to form a connection, you need to give a reason for the other person to open up to you. This means that you yourself need to be extremely forthcoming and honest, and show, even for a second, some vulnerability so that they know they can do the same with you, and that helps build meaningful relationships, whether romantic or otherwise.

Anyways, good luck, and try not to fuck it up.