EPTI tried so hard to play it cool, to not look too desperate. You saw right through me, but you did not push me away, you did not judge, you showed no fear. I would go so far as to say you still to this day don't reveal your emotions all that well. You're like a cold slab of steel at times. But when I'm inside of you, I feel your love, your warmth.
Though like any duo, we've certainly had our trials. On a cold rainy night leaving a bar, we were headed home, but seemed a little jittery. I wondered what was wrong, but did not ask, due to your rigid demeanor. Then something snapped. You broke down on me, and as I tried to console you, having to pull over even just to control you. I began to panic, again you would not talk to me. How often is it when you need to speak you remain silent? Then in the blink of an eye, you warmed right up to me again. It seems like that only thing that gives you power is the touch on my hands. After that, I resolved to improve our relationship, and our communication. Not only to take care of myself, but to strengthen you as well.
You're cold as ice because of how everyone else treats you. I don't blame you for the way you are.Our own neighbors called you ugly to your face. When I gently caress you, my friends snicker. My coworkers have mocked the sound of your voice, even. To make fun of you for your perpetual hoarse cough is the work of scumbags. You have some city miles on you, but your imperfections only seem to add character and allure to me. I know you trust me with your life, and you know I think that you're the most beautiful thing out there.
And I feel guilty for all of it. Everyday, I'm out on the road, babe, I'm always looking. I think to myself, "Wow, why I can't a have that?" I've even answered ads that I've read online. Far too many times than I'd care to admit. I've actually met up with some of them before. Yet when I'm face to face with them, it makes me appreciate you all the more. I once felt so guilty that I tried to offer you to my best friend. Needless to say, he was quite shocked by my proposition. Two wrongs don't make a right, and I shouldn't have tried to treat you like a piece of property.
You are a diamond in the rough. But you know I'm not faithful... I've been inside another. Quite frequently, as of late. I know you'll never call me out on it, you just remain silent. You do all that I ask you, you protect me, you keep me going, you put up with so much. Perhaps us putting up with the others' flaws is the only thing keeping us together? Some may call this an abusive or dysfunctional relationship, but just like no one understands you but me, it's become obvious that no one understands us.
So maybe what I feel for you isn't real love, but a dependability and compatibility I've never found before. Is this what love is supposed to be? One day, we will depart, this in my heart I know. And on that day, maybe I'll have found that I may have loved...
As we accelerate towards your destruction: here's to the first two years, and hoping for a few more to come...
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+ Show Spoiler [The other woman] +
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