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Two rules to dating.
1. Don't talk about past girlfriends.
2. If they start talking about past boyfriends leave.
Past is in the past. People hung up on old significant others are probably far too much drama then they're worth. Its fine to be into another girl, you just don't act on it, unless its an open relationship. Dating doesn't become about marriage until it reaches a certain length and level of commitement. Its about finding the right partner, and getting hung up on that will ruin your dating experiences.
Have fun with the girl and don't think about it too much. If you come to a point where you think you guys are getting serious then you can broach the whole past relationship shit. Otherwise its actually not important.
You're not dating your ex so she shouldn't factor into anything you're doing with this girl.
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I've been married for almost 10 years ago. Sometimes I think back with fondness about good times I had with old girlfriends. My wife and I hang out with 2 of those girlfriends and their husbands. Her cousin is married to one, and we play Starcraft all the time. These women are not less pretty or fun to be around then they were 10-15 years ago. This does not mean that I don't love my wife more than anything.
The whole purpose of dating is to nurture developing feelings to determine if they should and will become more developed. You should not allow feelings for one good person who does not want anything to do with you prevent you from getting to know another good person. If you still like girl 1 more than girl 2 and girl 2 wants to get married, then you may want to consider scaling back your relationship, but since you don't HAVE a relationship, stop over-thinking this.
You should not bring this up at any time, for any reason. Nothing productive will come of it, you are just picking a fight for no benefit.
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Katowice25012 Posts
You're overthinking this. Go and hang out with her, see what happens. If it gets to the point where she wants to get serious with you and you don't like her and still want whoever this other girl is you can talk it over then.
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I'm just going to reinforce what everyone in this thread already said: don't mention your ex. Try to enjoy yourself on your date. If you aren't happy, only then can you start to contemplate what to do.
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dating =/= being in a serious committed relationship. just hang out with her ffs, dont think of it as a rebound or whatever. aka what heyoka said.
and yeah dont mention the past, or friendzone forever
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On January 22 2013 06:00 Juliette wrote:
dating =/= being in a serious committed relationship. just hang out with her ffs, dont think of it as a rebound or whatever. aka what heyoka said.
and yeah dont mention the past, or friendzone forever
It's funny because I tell people the opposite all the time. Why date someone if you don't want to see if it can go somewhere?
If you want a friend, make a friend. If you want someone to have sex with, meet someone at the bar. IMO dating is a waste of time as soon as you know it isn't going anywhere.
BUT, that being said, I know and accept that this is very much up to opinion. I'm happily married, and I broke up with people I couldn't live my life with before getting married, but that's what I was looking for.
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why is this even something that crossed your mind before you've actually gone on a date with her??
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On January 22 2013 04:02 U_G_L_Y wrote:
I've been married for almost 10 years ago. Sometimes I think back with fondness about good times I had with old girlfriends. My wife and I hang out with 2 of those girlfriends and their husbands. Her cousin is married to one, and we play Starcraft all the time. These women are not less pretty or fun to be around then they were 10-15 years ago. This does not mean that I don't love my wife more than anything.
The whole purpose of dating is to nurture developing feelings to determine if they should and will become more developed. You should not allow feelings for one good person who does not want anything to do with you prevent you from getting to know another good person. If you still like girl 1 more than girl 2 and girl 2 wants to get married, then you may want to consider scaling back your relationship, but since you don't HAVE a relationship, stop over-thinking this.
You should not bring this up at any time, for any reason. Nothing productive will come of it, you are just picking a fight for no benefit.
Sound advice, u've written what i've been thinking for the last 6 month!!!! Thanks
I find most people ( guys and girls) tend to over think things as in some sort of incredible scheme of things.
Relax and enjoy life
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On January 22 2013 07:11 Shai wrote:Show nested quote +On January 22 2013 06:00 Juliette wrote:
dating =/= being in a serious committed relationship. just hang out with her ffs, dont think of it as a rebound or whatever. aka what heyoka said.
and yeah dont mention the past, or friendzone forever It's funny because I tell people the opposite all the time. Why date someone if you don't want to see if it can go somewhere? If you want a friend, make a friend. If you want someone to have sex with, meet someone at the bar. IMO dating is a waste of time as soon as you know it isn't going anywhere. BUT, that being said, I know and accept that this is very much up to opinion. I'm happily married, and I broke up with people I couldn't live my life with before getting married, but that's what I was looking for.
i agree, the purpose of dating is to find a long term relationship. but i mean, just because you go out on a few dates doesnt mean you'll find one, so if you don't, you can move on, build a friendship, or hell just never talk again. regardless, just go and do it and have fun and dont overthink it.
^^ glad you found what you wanted
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5 F Principle
Find them.
Follow them.
Finger them.
Fuck them.
Forget them.
:p
+ Show Spoiler +Like others have said, go hang out and see how it goes, if its not going to work because of the other girl, tell her and say bye.
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My brother does this frequently as he changes GF's on a biweekly bases. From observing I'd evaluate this new girl and see if she would care and understand what your going through otherwise it could be mad awkward.
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EPT
