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Hey guys; just wanna start by thanking the community for all your support and feedback from my past blogs. I went through some stuff over a girl and am still sorta going through it now but with better control I guess.
Well long story short; met a new girl at rehearsals for a theatre show. After our run ended, I told her I thought she was really cute and that if she's down for it, we should hang out and see where it goes from there.
She said yes and we're just waiting for our work schedules to comply with each other at this point.
To be honest; I'm still not over the first girl... and the reason why she isn't with me is because she wasn't over her ex.
I don't want to lead the new girl on so I feel like I should tell her where I stand, but people are telling me to not bring up an ex and just roll with the new one (Because it could be weird to be talking about past relationships so early on). I don't know; I just feel conflicted. Is it really ok to date a new person when you're not over your ex...?
Someone else just put me through the shitty end of that situation and I don't wanna put that upon someone else but I have to admit it does feel good to have this new girl in my life so far. In the back of my mind however, I do have thoughts often about the first girl...
I just dont know =(
  
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See where it goes, if you change your mind, the best thing you can do is just tell her you're not over your ex and you're sorry.
These things happen, life goes on.
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In most cases, you will always have remnants feelings for your ex, especially if you're not the one who broke it off.
Right now, you know you have interest for this new girl. You should find out if its just an interest or something more.
This isn't necessarily "rebound", but you seeking new people, relationships, interests. Follow-through on this and focus more on her rather than how different or similar she is to you ex.
In my opinion, just go with the flow, enjoy your time and when your first hangout is over, assess your feelings.
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I don't want to lead the new girl on so I feel like I should tell her where I stand, but people are telling me to not bring up an ex and just roll with the new one (Because it could be weird to be talking about past relationships so early on). I don't know; I just feel conflicted. Is it really ok to date a new person when you're not over your ex...?
And they're right.
As you say, you aren't with the first girl. Therefore, you should try to meet someone on your own. Start a relationship with this new one, see how it evolves from there.
Then, if one day your other girl ends it with her ex and suddenly fall madly in love with you you'll reassess the situation as to what girl you prefer (or if you're happy, I'd say stay with Girl 2 anyway).
Meanwhile, make it happen for you instead of thinking about a girl that doesn't think about you.
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Don't bring it up. If you do, you won't be with the girl. Simple as that.
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Just do like you said you'd do--hang out with her, see what happens. You won't get over your ex if you keep your brain dwelling on the issue.
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Don't worry, if things go well with this one the old one will suddenly not be as relevant anymore as she might seem to be at the moment. =)
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Do you enjoy spending time with her?
YES: be with her but be honest. You dont have to say it out of the blue but if you ever get to a serious talk just tell her.
NO: Break it off.
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Norway10161 Posts
Look at it this way:
Time spent with a great person is time well spent.
Don't mention the ex. I did it with a gf of mine and it seemed fine at first but after a few months it came up whenever she was in a bad mood. I of course didnt even remember saying it.
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Ye, do not bring up the ex under any circumstances, it is a terrible decision, and if you ever have an off day with the new girl, thats the first thing that will go through her mind
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Just run with it, if you fuck up, you've learned from it.
EDIT: and honestly, NEVER FUCKING MENTION YOUR EX GIRLFRIEND TO ANY CURRENT GIRLFRIEND OF YOURS. Seriously. She doesn't need to know and you don't need her to know.
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Best advice I have ever been given: Don't talk to girl's about other girls.
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On January 21 2013 21:31 iTzSnypah wrote:
Best advice I have ever been given: Don't talk to girl's about other girls.
And don't talk to guys about girls when other girls are in earshot.
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Same as above. Don't ever mention Firstgirl. See where it goes. I'm not sure how old you are, but sex with a fresh girl can often lead to you feeling more relieved and relaxed, letting you put Firstgirl behind easier.
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Dont ever. everrrr. eeevaaah. EVAA. EVVVARRR EVVAR EVVAR EVVVVVAR mention your ex to your current gf.
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Just go with it.
Edit:
Almost everyone has a backup/rebound/ex etc. etc. etc., what you are doing is perfectly normal, it's not even close to being unfair.
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If you're looking for a possible relationship with this new girl, don't mention the ex at all. It'll just scare her away, and there's a good chance that spending time with her will help you move on anyway.
If you're looking to just screw around and she doesn't really know what your true intentions are, you need to be straight with her and let her know what you're actually looking for with her (relationship, hook up, etc.). While you don't want to bring up ex-girlfriends and baggage, you also don't want to send anyone mixed messages and led them on.
You don't need to offer up your entire life's successes and failures with relationships, but give her the common courtesy of telling her what you're looking for with her if things start to heat up more than just as platonic friends.
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Don't bring it up, don't talk about it. Muse about it on your own time if you want, but don't do it with her. She will heal you in a way you cannot, if the relationship gets to that point. Have fun, don't forget that this is about having fun first, and then healing after, only time can heal you on your own, and only love can heal you together.
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United States1681 Posts
Why would you bring it up? Helps no one. Honesty is 100% overrated.
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EPT
