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I felt compelled to write something, so here is that something
I think some of my friends may know that I recently banned myself from IRC as I thought that it was a distraction, and that my distractions should be eliminated since I'm taking an important exam this year. Thus far, it seems like I have made the right choice. The cool evenings where I'd spend my time laughing at Cow's insanity and marttorn's trademark vanity are now spent in front of a worksheet or textbook. I'm not going to lie, it's not fun. But still, I enjoy it. I enjoy it not because it brings me joy, but because I know that it's good for me.
One habit I have yet to let go off is Reddit-ing. I know it's a time-waster, but there are those days where I come back from school, sit before the computer, where I'm too tired to even change out of my uniform, and just browse Reddit. I put on some music and relax. It's calming. I think I'll keep doing this.
School has been quite taxing. Not that I particularly mind how demanding school is now given that I have my O Levels this year, but I wish that it was somehow less laborious. I know that things will start picking up soon as the days pass, and I know that I can weather the storm. I believe I can do it. That's what I've begun doing. I've started to believe that I can do things and learn things, and I've been trying to stop thinking that I was somehow born without the intellectual capability to learn certain things. Mathematics, Science, Trigonometry, Stoichiometry, all of those things, I know that I have it in me to do it.
It feels good. It feels marvellous. I'm trudging. It's a relishable walk. All is well.
There's one thing that's been bothering me. I recently started re-reading Hemingway's A Farewell to Arms. I read half of Virginia Woolf's Mr. Bennet and Mrs. Brown - I couldn't take it, I couldn't read any further. The prose of everything seems impenetrable. The language is swirly and loopy. I'm worried that something is going wrong, and confident that something is wrong.
School requires me to write in a formal register, and it seems like I have forgotten how to do that. Everything I write is so messy, sentences and paragraphs are just strewn here and there. I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe I'm over-thinking it, and everything is fine and dandy.
My English teacher tells me that I'm a pedant when I write. She tells me that I give the wrong answers to comprehension exercises. There's this little stapled stack of papers that teachers are given, and it tells them the correct interpretation of the given text. She tells me that when I'm giving a speech in class, my hands quiver ever so slightly. I never knew that I got nervous tics.
My birthday is coming up soon, it's on the 29th. I'm going to be 16. I'm going to be 16. I'm going to be 16, and I'm going to be taking my O Levels this year. I'm going to be 16 and I'll have to make choices and be an adult soon.
My name is Yon Yonson,
I come from Wisconsin
I work in a lumber mill there
All the people I meet
As I walk down the street
Ask me how in the hell I got there
So I tell them: My name is Yon Yonson...
What's going to happen to me? What happens if I do well for my O Levels? What happens if I don't? Life goes on, so it goes, right?
I forgot to mention something, and now I'll do so briefly - I attempted to read Slaughterhouse 5 a couple of weeks ago. I didn't finish it, I didn't get past the first 50 pages or so. I was not compelled to read. I felt that I had more urgent things to tend to, like Math and whatnot. It's okay though, I enjoy it.
 
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Belgium8305 Posts
Hey man,
Nice to hear you're doing well. You're certainly smart enough to do well at your O-levels, and it sounds like you're putting in the necessary time, so try not to worry too much about it.
Don't feel guilty about visiting Reddit. It's a time-waster, sure, but that doesn't mean it's not useful. It's important to give yourself time to relax. Your mind and your body need it. It's like an engine - if you keep revving it to the max, it's going to blow out sooner or later. Take your foot off the gas every once in a while and enjoy the surroundings. It's much better for you in the long run.
For what it's worth, I think your writing's fine. In fact, I think it's excellent for someone who isn't even freaking sixteen yet. There are certain people who get a little nervous when speaking in front of crowds: they're called everyone.
Tell your English teacher that Cow From The Internet said that she's a dumb poopy bitch with a stupid face and that I bet she has an awful, terrible vagina.
It's natural that you're anxious about your future, especially with this big turning point getting near. Like you say, though: life goes on. It always saddens me to read about school kids committing suicide over bad grades. They're pushed so hard to do well on these exams (especially, it seems, in Asian cultures) that it seems like there's just no alternative to excelling, other than death. It's tragic, because there's always an alternative. You don't have to be the richest or most successful or most academically accomplished person in order to be happy. Life is what you make of it.
By all means, you should give the O-levels your very best shot, but please, keep a healthy perspective about it. Happiness will never be out of reach, regardless of the results.
Slaughterhouse 5 is one of the few books I've read (I read way, way less than I should), and I really enjoyed it. Perhaps you should pick it up again when you find the time.
Anyway, good luck, man. I know you're going to do great. Don't sweat it.
ok bye
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School requires me to write in a formal register, and it seems like I have forgotten how to do that. Everything I write is so messy, sentences and paragraphs are just strewn here and there. I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe I'm over-thinking it, and everything is fine and dandy.
My English teacher tells me that I'm a pedant when I write. She tells me that I give the wrong answers to comprehension exercises. There's this little stapled stack of papers that teachers are given, and it tells them the correct interpretation of the given text. She tells me that when I'm giving a speech in class, my hands quiver ever so slightly. I never knew that I got nervous tics.
Haha. Your writing is great. I had to write an English formal letter as well for my exam. How I am supposed to show off my English writing skills when I have a 230 word limit and I have instructions about the content, for every single sentence? In short, you aren't writing a letter, you are translating one. Another example: My Dutch argument writing test also has to follow certain guidlines. In preparation for the test I read some newspapers and none of those did any of the things we were taught.
Many schools have these dumb rules on what constitutes ''good'' writing. For your exam, conform to those rules. For everything else, find out what works for yourself.
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I struggle to write as well and as often as you, and I'm six years older. Don't sweat it. When I was your age I tried reading The Hobbit and ended up skipping half the book because it was too dense. But I came back to it years later and finished it with fluency. The same thing happened with Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, ironically I found the part in diagon alley too confusing.
Right now I'm struggling to read Ulysses (James Joyce) and War and Peace (Leo Tolstoy) but I'm sure some years down the road I'll be able to say I made it through the book and have some grasp of its rhetoric. Taking stabs at more advanced writers like Vonnegut when you're young is a good thing to do. You may not have mastered their writing the first time, but it will impact you for the rest of your life and give you a certain edge. Lots of adult scholars have trouble with certain books such as Ulysses, so don't feel as though age keeps you back.
correct interpretation of the given text is probably a wrong idea to begin with, any literary-minded person knows there isn't one right way of reading a book. Typical of high school.
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It's impossible to give up Reddit ^_^
As Recognizable said, you just have to get through school by conforming with its rules. It doesn't mean you have to become a grade-winning robot that churns out generic A+ papers. It's more of a test of will where you have to suppress your creative energies. You can unfold your wings and let imagination fly on stuff that doesn't affect your grades.
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I hope you can come back on IRC once your O levels are done. You're good company. I hope you'll do well.
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Thanks for the well wishes and reassurances everybody. Thanks for the advice too.
On January 18 2013 00:27 marttorn wrote:
I hope you can come back on IRC once your O levels are done. You're good company. I hope you'll do well.
Depends on motbob.
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EPT
