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A real knife fight - Page 4

Blogs > SamsungStar
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Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
January 19 2013 04:51 GMT
#61
If this is true, this is one of the best blog posts I've read on the internet in the past two years. The only post that even comes close on TL is Requiem for a July, and that story's been deleted off this website.

And I'm only at the Bamboo Gang part. You know who else came from a family associated with the Bamboo Union/Bamboo Gang? Jay Chou. Methinks you have talent as a writer just like he has as a musician. Keep it up.
Что?
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
January 19 2013 05:12 GMT
#62
On January 17 2013 12:38 Aerisky wrote:
Jesus fucking christ, that's ridiculous O_O

What a story....wow. Like... HOLY SHIT. Kind of awesome yet hilarious yet fucked up. That story is just straight-up crazy, definitely sounds like it came out of an insane movie or something lol. But the writing was actually quite interesting, I thought, and I was pretty enthralled the whole way through. Maybe this is Shady trying a narrative in disguise or something, I don't even.

Show nested quote +
On January 17 2013 11:43 phosphorylation wrote:
lol i cant believe i read the whole thing.
one of the most entertaining posts in teamliquid.
thanks for that and i hope you write more of these.

Yeah, this was more or less my response. Hot dayum.

I can confirm this is not me ><

I'm a prep debater from the burbs, and my dad was an artist
Что?
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
January 19 2013 08:06 GMT
#63
On January 19 2013 14:12 Shady Sands wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 17 2013 12:38 Aerisky wrote:
Jesus fucking christ, that's ridiculous O_O

What a story....wow. Like... HOLY SHIT. Kind of awesome yet hilarious yet fucked up. That story is just straight-up crazy, definitely sounds like it came out of an insane movie or something lol. But the writing was actually quite interesting, I thought, and I was pretty enthralled the whole way through. Maybe this is Shady trying a narrative in disguise or something, I don't even.

On January 17 2013 11:43 phosphorylation wrote:
lol i cant believe i read the whole thing.
one of the most entertaining posts in teamliquid.
thanks for that and i hope you write more of these.

Yeah, this was more or less my response. Hot dayum.

I can confirm this is not me ><

I'm a prep debater from the burbs, and my dad was an artist

Ah gotcha. But yeah this blog is....just whoaaa. I wonder who OP is, really seems like an alt or a PBU :/
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-19 08:32:24
January 19 2013 08:31 GMT
#64
On January 17 2013 16:30 SamsungStar wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 17 2013 15:09 ninazerg wrote:
On January 17 2013 13:06 Ettick wrote:
Thanks for sharing this story, I really liked reading it

Also, were you using a metal or wooden bat during the fight?


For a possible Zombie uprising, I believe you should keep an aluminum bat. Not only is it lighter, but it won't shatter when it makes contact with a zombie's skull. Most people like the idea of using firearms against zombies, stupidly assuming that their supply of ammunition will never run out. A blunt object is cheap, effective, and will last much longer than any firearm will. However, a machete or bladed weapon may be more effective at achieving one-hit kills. The downside is that bladed weapons may quickly become dull, and will require constant sharpening. My favorite weapon for anti-zombie defense is the crowbar, because it is easy to hold, has a blunt end for traumatic blows, and a sharp end for stabbing/ripping.

I know you're asking because you want advice on which weapon would be most effective against zombies.

On January 17 2013 14:29 SamsungStar wrote:
It doesn't matter how big you are, if you get punched in the throat or the point of the jaw or the nuts, you will go down. There are no exceptions.


Unless they are on meth. Meth users do not feel pain. The only way to stop them is to break their knees/shins, disabling their ability to run, or kill them. The same applies to zombies.


lol XD. You're right about the meth. There were some crazy bastards who smoked meth and popped PKs before they got in fights and they would just be savage beasts. Totally unstoppable. I watched some guy run through a bonfire once and beat another guy over the head with a burning log. Only much later did he notice the severe burns all over his hands. My advice if you run into a zombie or meth-head is throw the bat at his legs and run like hell. But even then, you have to pray he doesn't want you that bad, because ppl on meth run really damned fast.


When thrown, bats aren't nearly as effective, I find the heavier end tends to cause them to spin while in flight, which sometimes leads to the skinny end of the bat hitting stuff/people. This is simply not practical. For meth-heads, I think it might help to thrust the bat straight into their stomach and knock them backwards before running, but otherwise, I highly recommend hanging onto the bat, especially against zombies, because if you drop the bat in a battle against one zombie, you'll be leaving yourself defenseless against the other zombies, because there will be a lot of them. The only weapons I approve of throwing are javelins and shuriken stars.
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
Djeez
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
543 Posts
January 19 2013 10:32 GMT
#65
Funny how I came here expecting him to set people straight about how unglamorous, frenzied, aimless and bloody real knife fights are, and by the end I actually got the most glamorous fight story ever.
''Watching steppes of war in the gsl would be like watching the dreamhack 1.6 finals start out on fy_iceworld. '' -red_b
SamsungStar
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
United States912 Posts
January 20 2013 00:14 GMT
#66
On January 19 2013 17:31 ninazerg wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 17 2013 16:30 SamsungStar wrote:
On January 17 2013 15:09 ninazerg wrote:
On January 17 2013 13:06 Ettick wrote:
Thanks for sharing this story, I really liked reading it

Also, were you using a metal or wooden bat during the fight?


For a possible Zombie uprising, I believe you should keep an aluminum bat. Not only is it lighter, but it won't shatter when it makes contact with a zombie's skull. Most people like the idea of using firearms against zombies, stupidly assuming that their supply of ammunition will never run out. A blunt object is cheap, effective, and will last much longer than any firearm will. However, a machete or bladed weapon may be more effective at achieving one-hit kills. The downside is that bladed weapons may quickly become dull, and will require constant sharpening. My favorite weapon for anti-zombie defense is the crowbar, because it is easy to hold, has a blunt end for traumatic blows, and a sharp end for stabbing/ripping.

I know you're asking because you want advice on which weapon would be most effective against zombies.

On January 17 2013 14:29 SamsungStar wrote:
It doesn't matter how big you are, if you get punched in the throat or the point of the jaw or the nuts, you will go down. There are no exceptions.


Unless they are on meth. Meth users do not feel pain. The only way to stop them is to break their knees/shins, disabling their ability to run, or kill them. The same applies to zombies.


lol XD. You're right about the meth. There were some crazy bastards who smoked meth and popped PKs before they got in fights and they would just be savage beasts. Totally unstoppable. I watched some guy run through a bonfire once and beat another guy over the head with a burning log. Only much later did he notice the severe burns all over his hands. My advice if you run into a zombie or meth-head is throw the bat at his legs and run like hell. But even then, you have to pray he doesn't want you that bad, because ppl on meth run really damned fast.


When thrown, bats aren't nearly as effective, I find the heavier end tends to cause them to spin while in flight, which sometimes leads to the skinny end of the bat hitting stuff/people. This is simply not practical. For meth-heads, I think it might help to thrust the bat straight into their stomach and knock them backwards before running, but otherwise, I highly recommend hanging onto the bat, especially against zombies, because if you drop the bat in a battle against one zombie, you'll be leaving yourself defenseless against the other zombies, because there will be a lot of them. The only weapons I approve of throwing are javelins and shuriken stars.


lol what about throwing the poor man's bolo? It's really handy when you're being chased by a mob of angry crackheads. You take your kicks off, tie the shoelaces together, and then try to pack the insides with anything heavy close at hand. Then you toss it at their legs while screaming "eightballs in the shoes!!"

SamsungStar
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
United States912 Posts
January 20 2013 00:27 GMT
#67
On January 19 2013 13:51 Shady Sands wrote:
If this is true, this is one of the best blog posts I've read on the internet in the past two years. The only post that even comes close on TL is Requiem for a July, and that story's been deleted off this website.

And I'm only at the Bamboo Gang part. You know who else came from a family associated with the Bamboo Union/Bamboo Gang? Jay Chou. Methinks you have talent as a writer just like he has as a musician. Keep it up.


Haha yeah, I know a number of ppl who had dad's/uncles etc in Bamboo. Especially in entertainment industry. Although Jay and his dad don't get along. His parents divorced because his dad was totally against him learning music. My family's friends with the parents of one of his close friends from high school, so the story sort of got passed along. (Taiwan's mad small)

And thanks for the compliment . I actually am a fiction writer, but this particular piece is nonfic. It was honestly just a quick response I did off the cuff to that knife disarming blog.
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
January 20 2013 01:13 GMT
#68
On January 20 2013 09:14 SamsungStar wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 19 2013 17:31 ninazerg wrote:
On January 17 2013 16:30 SamsungStar wrote:
On January 17 2013 15:09 ninazerg wrote:
On January 17 2013 13:06 Ettick wrote:
Thanks for sharing this story, I really liked reading it

Also, were you using a metal or wooden bat during the fight?


For a possible Zombie uprising, I believe you should keep an aluminum bat. Not only is it lighter, but it won't shatter when it makes contact with a zombie's skull. Most people like the idea of using firearms against zombies, stupidly assuming that their supply of ammunition will never run out. A blunt object is cheap, effective, and will last much longer than any firearm will. However, a machete or bladed weapon may be more effective at achieving one-hit kills. The downside is that bladed weapons may quickly become dull, and will require constant sharpening. My favorite weapon for anti-zombie defense is the crowbar, because it is easy to hold, has a blunt end for traumatic blows, and a sharp end for stabbing/ripping.

I know you're asking because you want advice on which weapon would be most effective against zombies.

On January 17 2013 14:29 SamsungStar wrote:
It doesn't matter how big you are, if you get punched in the throat or the point of the jaw or the nuts, you will go down. There are no exceptions.


Unless they are on meth. Meth users do not feel pain. The only way to stop them is to break their knees/shins, disabling their ability to run, or kill them. The same applies to zombies.


lol XD. You're right about the meth. There were some crazy bastards who smoked meth and popped PKs before they got in fights and they would just be savage beasts. Totally unstoppable. I watched some guy run through a bonfire once and beat another guy over the head with a burning log. Only much later did he notice the severe burns all over his hands. My advice if you run into a zombie or meth-head is throw the bat at his legs and run like hell. But even then, you have to pray he doesn't want you that bad, because ppl on meth run really damned fast.


When thrown, bats aren't nearly as effective, I find the heavier end tends to cause them to spin while in flight, which sometimes leads to the skinny end of the bat hitting stuff/people. This is simply not practical. For meth-heads, I think it might help to thrust the bat straight into their stomach and knock them backwards before running, but otherwise, I highly recommend hanging onto the bat, especially against zombies, because if you drop the bat in a battle against one zombie, you'll be leaving yourself defenseless against the other zombies, because there will be a lot of them. The only weapons I approve of throwing are javelins and shuriken stars.


lol what about throwing the poor man's bolo? It's really handy when you're being chased by a mob of angry crackheads. You take your kicks off, tie the shoelaces together, and then try to pack the insides with anything heavy close at hand. Then you toss it at their legs while screaming "eightballs in the shoes!!"



I've experimented quite a bit with shoe-based weapons, and they're all pretty bad. I think I've tried the bolo trick maybe 2-3 times, and it takes way too long to take the shoes off, tie the laces together and then throw them effectively. One of the times, the laces even came apart and both shoes just went flying in opposite directions. Pretty fucking fail by me. A more effective foot-wear based ranged weapon would be the tube sock sling. Basically, you take a somewhat heavy object, like a pool ball or a paper weight of some sort, and drop it into the tube sock. Then, you take the open end of the sock and hold onto it, and start swinging it in a circular motion so it gathers momentum. You can release the sock sling at any time, but keep in mind that it has a very short range, and CANNOT be used more than a few hits if used as a melee weapon, because the sock fabric will rip after making impact.
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
SamsungStar
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
United States912 Posts
January 20 2013 01:44 GMT
#69
Hahaha, I see you too are a grizzled veteran of the American war on boredom. Those are some pretty high level techniques you're talking about.
BigFan
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
TLADT24920 Posts
January 20 2013 02:40 GMT
#70
Interesting blog, keep up the writing lol.
Former BW EiC"Watch Bakemonogatari or I will kill you." -Toad, April 18th, 2017
fusefuse
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Estonia4644 Posts
January 20 2013 08:31 GMT
#71
got to the last couple paragraphs and lost it at
All in all, from the start of the fight where Hakim rushed them to the end where we ran back into the house, I’d say it was 4 minutes, maybe 5 max. To put that into perspective, the whole fight lasted a little less time than it takes for the first warp-ins of a 4gate.

so down to earth until that point, a starcraft reference out of nowhere lol

intriguing story, fun to read, apart from some facts & names changing, the flow of the piece is nice. Very James Joyce.

You seem proud of what you do and have done
so uhm yeah. good luck?
Liquipedia@jkursk
Incze
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
Romania2058 Posts
January 20 2013 11:14 GMT
#72
I liked it. I don't even care if it's true or not, since I grew up pretty damn sheltered. It kept me interested until the end, and that's all that matters for me.
Religion: Buckethead
rafaliusz
Profile Joined December 2009
Poland482 Posts
January 20 2013 14:46 GMT
#73
I must say that this is the biggest pile of bullsh*t I've ever read on the internet.

Was very entertaining tho.
[UoN]Sentinel
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States11320 Posts
January 20 2013 23:08 GMT
#74
Holy dick.

From what I can tell, there's a guy I hang out with who shares a lot in common with you (except he's Mexican) but he's never told me anything this good before. But this is why I wholeheartedly believe your story.

This is the first blog I've read that I could give a 6 to
Нас зовет дух отцов, память старых бойцов, дух Москвы и твердыня Полтавы
MaestroSC
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States2073 Posts
January 21 2013 06:15 GMT
#75
If this is true... my next blog will be about the time when I flew to a galaxy far far away, my best friends were robots, my human friend and his giant walking teddy bear banged my long lost sister, and my abandoning father turned out to be the right hand to an evil emperor.

Just saying.

Anyone who believe this needs to go outside and get some fresh air... all the bullshit is apparently blocking the oxygen and preventing your brain from functioning properly.
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
January 21 2013 06:55 GMT
#76
On January 21 2013 15:15 MaestroSC wrote:
If this is true... my next blog will be about the time when I flew to a galaxy far far away, my best friends were robots, my human friend and his giant walking teddy bear banged my long lost sister, and my abandoning father turned out to be the right hand to an evil emperor.

Just saying.

Anyone who believe this needs to go outside and get some fresh air... all the bullshit is apparently blocking the oxygen and preventing your brain from functioning properly.

Why so much hostility?
Что?
MaestroSC
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States2073 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-21 07:32:47
January 21 2013 07:32 GMT
#77
On January 21 2013 15:55 Shady Sands wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 21 2013 15:15 MaestroSC wrote:
If this is true... my next blog will be about the time when I flew to a galaxy far far away, my best friends were robots, my human friend and his giant walking teddy bear banged my long lost sister, and my abandoning father turned out to be the right hand to an evil emperor.

Just saying.

Anyone who believe this needs to go outside and get some fresh air... all the bullshit is apparently blocking the oxygen and preventing your brain from functioning properly.

Why so much hostility?


didnt realize star wars references were so hostile.

Or that calling bullshit on bullshit is hostile lol.

why so sensitive?
[UoN]Sentinel
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States11320 Posts
January 21 2013 13:27 GMT
#78
On January 21 2013 16:32 MaestroSC wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 21 2013 15:55 Shady Sands wrote:
On January 21 2013 15:15 MaestroSC wrote:
If this is true... my next blog will be about the time when I flew to a galaxy far far away, my best friends were robots, my human friend and his giant walking teddy bear banged my long lost sister, and my abandoning father turned out to be the right hand to an evil emperor.

Just saying.

Anyone who believe this needs to go outside and get some fresh air... all the bullshit is apparently blocking the oxygen and preventing your brain from functioning properly.

Why so much hostility?


didnt realize star wars references were so hostile.

Or that calling bullshit on bullshit is hostile lol.

why so sensitive?

Anyone who believe this needs to go outside and get some fresh air... all the bullshit is apparently blocking the oxygen and preventing your brain from functioning properly.


Yeah I'd say it's hostile.
Нас зовет дух отцов, память старых бойцов, дух Москвы и твердыня Полтавы
Kukaracha
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
France1954 Posts
January 21 2013 16:53 GMT
#79
On January 21 2013 15:55 Shady Sands wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 21 2013 15:15 MaestroSC wrote:
If this is true... my next blog will be about the time when I flew to a galaxy far far away, my best friends were robots, my human friend and his giant walking teddy bear banged my long lost sister, and my abandoning father turned out to be the right hand to an evil emperor.

Just saying.

Anyone who believe this needs to go outside and get some fresh air... all the bullshit is apparently blocking the oxygen and preventing your brain from functioning properly.

Why so much hostility?

To be honest I had to show some restraint myself, I don't like the idea of people fantasizing about violence. Last time my family witnessed a fight my mother went insane, the things she has seen in her youth kind of traumatized her.

So I personally understand that one might not appreciate this kind of writing.
Le long pour l'un pour l'autre est court (le mot-à-mot du mot "amour").
SamsungStar
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
United States912 Posts
January 21 2013 17:33 GMT
#80
Except it's not fantasy, you twit. Just because we weren't eating ceviches while knifing each other doesn't mean it didn't happen. Do you have any idea how fucking insulting it is when someone comes up to you and just tells you your life is false? There isn't even a proper way to respond to it. Wtf is that supposed to mean? HEY, YOUR LIFE ISN'T REAL. Oh, thanks for letting me know! I guess it was all a dream!

Realize you are being an utter ass, then try to do something decent with yourself instead of telling others there is only one type of violence and it only exists in the back alleys of Chile con carne where the knives are quick and the kids are quicker. Now I'm probably verging on hypocrisy here because I wrote this entire blog because I thought another story sounded very fishy, and I'm starting to see how that's upsetting, but at least over there my issue was the lack of details and a question of physics. Whereas here, it's a select bunch of people who don't seem to have any experience with the environment or culture yet feel they are an expert authority on the subject. Do you know what scientists call this phenomenon? Cognitive dissonance.

Your logic doesn't even make sense. You compare the ghetto of a third world country with that of a first world country. Then you talk about how our level of disposable income and lifestyle is vastly greater than what you saw, so that somehow invalidates my existence. All it would take is a simple leap of logic to understand that naturally there will be giant differences between our lifestyles based on the economies we grew up in. Stop trying to relate your experiences in Chile with mine in Florida. It's not going to work. But if you've noticed, a ton of the American kids say they can relate and my story sounds a lot like theirs. Imagine that. Americans who can relate to each other. Chileans who can't. Stop projecting your mom issues on my blog and stop trying to get into a retarded pissing contest on the internet about whose family had it tougher. Especially not with a second-gen Chinese whose family tree was cut in half by the Commies and Japanese.

In conclusion, if any of you don't like the story, that's fine. Give it a one star, speak your piece, and move on. This is a public forum, I posted the blog, and I accept the terms inherent in that action. But enough with the stupid fucking accusations of "This isn't real!" It's getting old and it's extremely insulting. Could you imagine if I took out one of your family albums and started claiming all the photos were shopped because that waterfall looks too glamorous or your mom is way too hot? Do you have any idea how retarded that is? Did you pay for this story? Were you forced to click on the blog? If your answer is no to both then you don't have a valid reason for spewing angry crap here.

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