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Hmm, I recognize some of the emotions from a period I went through 2 years ago in college. If you can it might be nice to talk to a therapist about what you're feeling, it worked well for me.
Warning: unsolicited advice incoming
About the family thing, I can kinda relate. I always thought my family was very good and supportive of me, but when I went away to college I basically never called or went home, even though I went to a school that was very close to home. I realized that while they were very supportive materially, they weren't supportive emotionally.
I think what is happening with you is that you are giving them too much credit. You say that they are the best family on earth, but how can they be that good if you're not getting emotional support from them? Put another way, the more logical reason that you don't love them (more logical than "I must be messed up") is that they don't understand what you're going through and aren't helping you with it. It's possible they have good intentions but are in reality neglectful of your emotions. From here you could try to talk about it with your family and become closer to them, or accept that it's ok to not love your family given these circumstances, and have a more business-like relationship with them.
re: spoiler, really curious as to what it was, only cuz I consider myself pretty desensitized; only hentai that really put me in a melancholy mood was "playing" the visual novel Katawa Shoujo
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I don't know, this blog kind of touched me at a deeper level than other ones have. The turmoil the OP is trying to convey is not as simple as, say, a girl blog. It has complexity and meaning. Maybe even movie material. I hope things work out for you.
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wait are you a girl? That would explain things a lot better imo
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On December 29 2012 03:39 JieXian wrote:
wait are you a girl? That would explain things a lot better imo
Well she wrote I work as a waitress at a family own restaurant so I think she's a girl  .
I think this blog was pretty fascinating. I rarely read or hear this type of introspection. Good luck lady!
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On December 29 2012 04:17 radscorpion9 wrote:Show nested quote +On December 29 2012 03:39 JieXian wrote:
wait are you a girl? That would explain things a lot better imo Well she wrote so I think she's a girl . I think this blog was pretty fascinating. I rarely read or hear this type of introspection. Good luck lady!
oh ya..
wait if it was a family own restaurant why I'm surprised that the manager "demanded her to also apologize"... well unless the manager is another family member.
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Canada4481 Posts
On December 29 2012 04:41 JieXian wrote:Show nested quote +On December 29 2012 04:17 radscorpion9 wrote:On December 29 2012 03:39 JieXian wrote:
wait are you a girl? That would explain things a lot better imo Well she wrote I work as a waitress at a family own restaurant so I think she's a girl . I think this blog was pretty fascinating. I rarely read or hear this type of introspection. Good luck lady! oh ya.. wait if it was a family own restaurant why I'm surprised that the manager "demanded her to also apologize"... well unless the manager is another family member.
The restaurant is owned by a family, not necessarily her family.
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This was a surprisingly nice and innocent post. Nice read.
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yo nerd, you can't steal my happiness because it's not even mine. I have been thieving happiness all my life now I have an infinite amount that is constantly expanding at a large exponential level. You have this new head set, so use it. If you are watching porn THEN SHARE WITH US, that's what this vod watching group is for, it's not like we even watch bw these days anyway. Also about the awkwardness with people, I wouldn't worry about it because I am pretty sure it's an elaborate government conspiracy against you just like in stein's gate, people thought he was crazy but was he really?
Your situation makes me think of Old Boy, you should definitely watch it... an excellent Korean film. What were we talking about again? + Show Spoiler +![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/HRWzj.jpg) god damn I am sexy
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First off, I'd say good on you for telling the customer what's up. I understand why managers often feel that way, but the "customer is always right" thing goes way, way too far. When a customer orders 4 tacos, an enchirito, and a bean burrio then goes over, chucks the receipt, and rudely tells us how incompetent we are because he wanted a taco salad and a twelve pack of tacos and the manager says sorry for the "mistake" and gives him everything for free...that's a problem.
Someone like me doesn’t deserve to be love like this.
No one "deserves" love, it's just something that happens. I really hate chains of thoughts like this, because it breeds self-loathing and misery.
If you really don't like yourself, then figure out why and FIX IT! Don't go on being someone you don't like.
My co-workers always complain about their tips when it is not 20%. When it’s holidays, they would complain it’s not more than 20%. When I received Christmas cards from customers, some would complain they did not get one. On the one that does, they complain the customer did not give them money along with the card when few of us got money with the card. Most of my co-workers sucks. I just don’t understand why. Why are they never satisfy? It’s like every day they complain the same thing over and over again.
People just like to complain. Sometimes they don't even mean it and just use it as a talking points for some conversation. Some people are just negative in general, such is life. That or they have an idea that "this is how it should be" and cannot accept reality and just complain to keep their self-image in tact (i.e. I got a shitty tip because the customers were assholes, as opposed to I got a shitty tip, I should have been a better waiter/ress)
I couldn’t get over this guilt of lying to all these customers. Not really lying but this trying to start a conversation even though deep down you don’t. In general just talking to them when you really don’t want to. I felt extremely guilty one time and broke down. I’m not sure why I felt like that when my co-workers are fine with the way it is.
There are a few possible solutions here.
One is to alter your mentality, to say "yes, I do want to talk to these people; lets find out what they are like and make their experience a good one". That is always my mindset. I want to talk to them, because it gives me a chance to make their experience enjoyable. Not to mention, I'm already at work and getting paid, I might as well enjoy myself while I do. Basically with this approach I go into the work with the attitude of "I want to meet new people, and make those around me enjoy themselves."
The other is just to accept that their is a way the game is played. Under no circumstances should you feel guilty. It's certainly not wrong to talk to people, and it's not wrong to talk to them in a polite and happy manner. If anything it's being a good human being and make their experience nicer. Your doing them a FAVOR acting that way..why would you feel guilty about that?
Around a year ago, I break off all contact with my old me and told the two people that I consider as friends to not be friends anymore. They are the best person in the world but I just don’t understand how the world, people, relationship functions and felt I had to tell them to not be my friend anymore.
Did you want them as friends?
If the answer is yes, then maybe you can elaborate a bit more on what you mean by all of this. I can't understand why you would just break off contact from people you like.
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L_Master is my new boyfriend.
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On December 29 2012 07:35 Game wrote:
L_Master is my new boyfriend.
Hope you can handle an open relationship because I don't really wanna break up with BW.
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First off, I'd say good on you for telling the customer what's up. I understand why managers often feel that way, but the "customer is always right" thing goes way, way too far. When a customer orders 4 tacos, an enchirito, and a bean burrio then goes over, chucks the receipt, and rudely tells us how incompetent we are because he wanted a taco salad and a twelve pack of tacos and the manager says sorry for the "mistake" and gives him everything for free...that's a problem.
From what I've heard, the situation in America with the customer always being right is a lot worse than here. From a business perspective I can understand why the customer is always right, but from a moral perspective I don't like it often. Happily my current place of employment won't mind too much if I give a customer a piece of my mind (relatively politely of course xD) and the boss himself has had swearing matches with customers before (that was a fun day, had other people telling both of them to STFU and so on).
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If you could somehow 'repay' your parents in some kind of symbolic way that is psychologically satisfying to you, you will realize (if you don't already) that you really do love your foster family.
Tell me, do you cry when you see family scenes in movies? Parental figures lying on their death beds? Siblings sacrificing for each other?
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EPT
