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I don't watch a lot of TV because most of it sucks. So I've made it a hobby of coming up with show ideas that are totally dope and sending them to major networks. Unfortunately, none of them have tried to hire me just yet. Only a matter of time, I imagine. The following was one of my first ideas:
There's a show on the History Channel called "Full Metal Jousting" where men with ponytails cover themselves in armor, hop on horses, and run at each other with giant sticks. The rednecks are divided into two teams and compete in a tournament style dealie to determine who can rack up the most brain damage. In a given match, two people fight each other and the winner moves on to the next round while the loser is either eliminated or executed, I'm not certain. Though the show has been met with reasonable success, most of the show’s audience is made up of other men with ponytails. I feel like this audience can be increased dramatically with a few minor changes. So I came up with a revised concept for the show, tentatively called “Half Metal Jousting.”
Note that the “Half” refers not to decreasing the amount of armor worn by the jousters - that would be very dangerous. Rather, it means simply that only one participant is actually armed. Instead of two jousters facing each other in sport, it is one jouster - complete with horse, armor, and lance - in an urban environment, (very easily) knocking over extremely unwilling pedestrians.
There could possibly be legal implications, but I made the effort to cover these as well. Yes, people may want to pursue legal action against the jouster. But if we think realistically, however, how many people would confront an armored man on a horse with a 13+ foot lance who has already shown a willingness - nay, an eagerness - to harm the innocent? Not very many.
The final important thing to note about this revised concept is that it is more in line with traditional, accepted reality show conventions that most TV viewers gravitate towards. In the original iteration of the show, the winner received $100,000. But in my revised concept, there are no real winners since it’s not actually a competition. Instead, there are just a ton of people who lose. I feel like this is more closely aligned with the reality show principle that teaches us “The more losers there are, the more the audience wins.” This should drastically increase the size and depth of the show’s viewing demographic and possibly, by extension, the viewing demographic of the entire network.
You're welcome, History Channel.
 
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History Channel. Hire this man. He knows what he's doing.
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+ Show Spoiler [NSFW] +
I think history would draw more viewers if they tipped each lance with a dildo and called the show "Full Compensation Jousting".
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Kind of sounds like something that would be on Neg's Urban Sports.
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I'm pretty sure that this would be completely illegal and that the victims would notice a following camera team, proceed to phone the cops and then sue the show.
If this was a joke idea then seriously I give it a 10/10 I actually laughed.
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Someone needs to make a short script to automatically 5-star Chef and Bibbit blogs. They're comedy goldmines!
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On December 05 2012 09:06 MyTHicaL wrote:
I'm pretty sure that this would be completely illegal and that the victims would notice a following camera team, proceed to phone the cops and then sue the show.
If this was a joke idea then seriously I give it a 10/10 I actually laughed.
I think I actually laughed at this post more than the OP.
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On December 05 2012 12:40 TheKwas wrote:Show nested quote +On December 05 2012 09:06 MyTHicaL wrote:
I'm pretty sure that this would be completely illegal and that the victims would notice a following camera team, proceed to phone the cops and then sue the show.
If this was a joke idea then seriously I give it a 10/10 I actually laughed. I think I actually laughed at this post more than the OP.
But he's right though, the legality of this idea is highly questionable; most city bylaws ban horses from roads, except in the case of police officers. Although it probably would be more historically accurate than the current show.
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On December 05 2012 13:00 reincremate wrote:Show nested quote +On December 05 2012 12:40 TheKwas wrote:On December 05 2012 09:06 MyTHicaL wrote:
I'm pretty sure that this would be completely illegal and that the victims would notice a following camera team, proceed to phone the cops and then sue the show.
If this was a joke idea then seriously I give it a 10/10 I actually laughed. I think I actually laughed at this post more than the OP. But he's right though, the legality of this idea is highly questionable; most city bylaws ban horses from roads, except in the case of police officers. Although it probably would be more historically accurate than the current show.
Heh I liked how you called me out on bullshit for horses in the roads but not for attacking pedestrians with lances 
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On December 05 2012 13:07 Bibbit wrote:Show nested quote +On December 05 2012 13:00 reincremate wrote:On December 05 2012 12:40 TheKwas wrote:On December 05 2012 09:06 MyTHicaL wrote:
I'm pretty sure that this would be completely illegal and that the victims would notice a following camera team, proceed to phone the cops and then sue the show.
If this was a joke idea then seriously I give it a 10/10 I actually laughed. I think I actually laughed at this post more than the OP. But he's right though, the legality of this idea is highly questionable; most city bylaws ban horses from roads, except in the case of police officers. Although it probably would be more historically accurate than the current show. Heh I liked how you called me out on bullshit for horses in the roads but not for attacking pedestrians with lances
I'm not aware of any laws forbidding jukking people with medieval weapons for educational purposes.
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On December 05 2012 13:10 reincremate wrote:Show nested quote +On December 05 2012 13:07 Bibbit wrote:On December 05 2012 13:00 reincremate wrote:On December 05 2012 12:40 TheKwas wrote:On December 05 2012 09:06 MyTHicaL wrote:
I'm pretty sure that this would be completely illegal and that the victims would notice a following camera team, proceed to phone the cops and then sue the show.
If this was a joke idea then seriously I give it a 10/10 I actually laughed. I think I actually laughed at this post more than the OP. But he's right though, the legality of this idea is highly questionable; most city bylaws ban horses from roads, except in the case of police officers. Although it probably would be more historically accurate than the current show. Heh I liked how you called me out on bullshit for horses in the roads but not for attacking pedestrians with lances I'm not aware of any laws forbidding jukking people with medieval weapons for educational purposes.
Haha fair point! I'll keep that in mind :D
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EPT
